You get to ask God one question

y no qt gf?

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>>39185336
Where exactly on this earth is the woman who will love me forever

How did you come to exist?

Why don't you just kill me?

>>39185336
Why did you allow me to exist?

just want him to confirm that everything is going correctly. he has always treated me right, i feel ashamed for my human ignorance and sadness when he gives and gives

>>39185336
Are traps gay?

captcha: sallie church

Why are you just a fuckin bastard?

>>39185336
Who wins the next 10 super bowls?

>>39185447
that's not very nice anon

it's all apart of his master plan^tm

>>39185336
bumping this thread

too many cuckbaiting threads and bait threads in general, not letting this thread slide so easily

I like good news is that I am not able to come today as well now that you mention it was still in the sound let's get your panties off and I don't know how many times I have to tell you something in my eye and ear and out the door to go to a meeting in the sound let's go to the store and get a chalk it up to the laws of physics

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I will ask nothing. Ain't too much to talk about besides ask God how God is doing.

Do I make C happy, or is she just affectionate because she depends on me?

>>39185336
I assume that He will answer.

How will I die?

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>>39185336
To explain pic related, lmao

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What do I need to do to be happy?

>>39185336
How many more scoops?

>>39185336
Am I already dead? Seriously. Am I?

Why the world keeps getting shittier and shittier.

>>39185336
Ask him if Muhammad is the messenger and if so, why does he hate kafirs so much.

Assuming it's the Christian God:

"Did you like being us? What was it like being a human, even it was only for 33 years? Do we experience things that you don't, and do you miss being one of us? I know it's more than one question, but the first one is the most important"

Is the universe some kind of sick joke?

>>39185336
how to go back

>can you give me a list of all of the television shows and movies in the world right now that I would absolutely cherish and learn from?

It'd be nice, this life is boring

>>39185336

Why did I have to be born?

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Why did you create a universe where the default state is suffering? To that effect, are you a sadist?

>>39185962
I ask thee god for sauce

Was this the best you could do?

>>39185336
"Is there an afterlife?"
If no, kill myself. If yes, kill god.

Why was I born with visual snow? It makes seeing hard sometimes.

>>39185336
How do I make the perfect cup of coffee?

>>39186630
wtf is visual snow

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>>39185336
What comes after death. Not the physical aspect, I mean where do I, or my soul, go after I die?

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>>39185336
I ask God questions every night. The crazy part is, sometimes they're answered.

>>39186077
Easy.

Suffering is part of the human condition. Without it, we wouldn't be what we are, and we'd probably still be in caves, happily plodding along doing nothing with our lives. We do shit with our lives to prevent suffering in general. Everyone does, no matter how evil. Could be personal suffering that you want to prevent, could be others suffering, could be specific others suffering.

Humans would suck without it.

Also, we have the free will to be evil cunts. So evil cunts exist because sometimes that's the easiest thing to do.

>>39185336
wh y no evdence

>>39186909
You choose to ignore the evidence.

Why?
origogo

>>39185336
Why did you design female minds so poorly?

I don't believe in a god, but since he is real in this scenario I ask him how do I get me and my loved ones into heaven.

>>39185336
what the hell is wrong with you that you would make people like us

>>39187258
because i am a robot anon

>>39185373
>She's passed away anon, but you are destined for more.
>>39185383
>I am that I am
>>39185396
>You're destined to do great things for the glory of my kingdom, but you need not stray from the righteous and light filled path I have offered.
>>39185437
>Yes
>>39185453
>Patriots several more times, Giants, Dolphins surprsingly, and lastly the Buffalo Bills in 2028
>>39186063
>You'll choke on some hot chocolate when you're son is 4 years old. You and him will have just finished a snow man together.
>>39186088
>Faith
>>39186147
3 and a half
>>39186180
>No, but wait a week.
>>39186497
>More or less.
>>39186543
>Your parents fucked without the use of a condor, or a condom.
>>39186579
>Yes, the question you should ask was this the best you could do with what I gave you? The answer is no.
>>39186778
>The french press
>>39187213
>So they would be easier too fuck and reproduce, but in hindsight they are now a bunch of roastie whores.

>>39187318
You know, your answers aren't actually that bad. Aside from the predictions, this is essentially an /r9k/ slanted version of how Catholics view God.

Tell me what to do. How do I serve?

>>39187318
Wtf I like God now.

is Piano dead yet or still in coma?

>>39185336
why do all these sores keep showing up on my dick

>>39187481
hes still in coma
poor guy

why are you such a fucking nigger?

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How should I deal with the fact that I got circumcised and will never know what it's like to have a foreskin? I can't sleep some nights because I get stuck thinking about it. The other day I bought some shells for my grandpa's old shotgun... I don't really want to kill myself, but it's comforting to know that the options there now.

>>39186579
In the beginning God created the Universe. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Is god a big guy?

wich 2hu wud u fug

An original question.

>>39185336
Why you such a cunt, God? How come you let literally all evil to be born into the world? How come you a petulant child, God. How come you such a bitch nigga?

Were you going through like a phase or something in the Old Testament? Like what was up with that whole situation?

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>>39187764
You asked a question that you already knew the answer to!

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>>39187318
>not 4 scoops
It's like u don't want to get big

I believe in God, the divine creator of the universe. But don't think it's the Christian God. Don't think God would damn the majority of his creations to an eternal Hell like the Bible says, or even eternally torture people. Don't think he creates gays, then punishes them for having sex with their loved partner either.

I'd ask him what are his ways so I could follow them and get the best afterlife possible and then spread his ways to others.

>>39188060
>he thinks god damns people to hell
You're already damned, repent ye sinner

>>39185336
How come i was the one who lived while all the others died?

>>39188051
>not 6 scoops
Never gonna make it

>>39188281
The others never died, you are dying right now, only god knows why (if he wasn't dead)

>>39185336
Why'd you take away my mom? Was my life better, worse without her? Oh sorry God, just one question. ok

>>39185336
Whats the krabby patty secret formula?

>>39188663
ITS PEOPLE, PEEEEEPOOOLE

>>39185336
Do ya like jazz?

>>39185336
Can you please make everybody's waifu real?
I want everyone to be happy

>>39188663
c'mon anon thats easy, its crab

>>39185336
can you please make me die

>>39185336
Why do you get to make the rules for my life?

Does a penis size really matter, huh?

>>39191971
No it doesn't really matter tttt

>>39185336
Why are there so many degenerates living blissfully while I work my ass off only to suffer alone?

If Adam and eve were so perfect then why did they ear the apple

>>39185336
Will you ever allow the fallen angel to rejoin you in the kingdom of heaven?

>>39186077
Never understood this paradox...let's say he is not all powerful, what does it change ?
There are things he can't do, but he still has many powers he can use to his best to help us

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>>39185336
>can you create a stone that even you can t lift ?

>>39186077
Because without evil we do not other have good. Just neutral. It also depends on the organisms definition of evil and good. But at neutral nothing changes nothing grows. You need a force to resist or you just stay the same. But to answer if he is all powerful I'm sorry I can't say no one can so far that I know

>>39192703
>no

but i don't see why that would be a problem

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>>39185336
>What do you ask God?
Give him the ol Kornheiser

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>>39185336
Why the fuck did you create feminism

>>39192660
That isn't the point. What God not being all powerful would change is a whole different discussion.

>>39192840
well wouldn't you feel like you lost the occasion to ask a good question, if he were to respond "yep, i'm not all powerful, but i can still do almost anything..." ?

>>39192913
I didn't post the image, but you have a good point. I would probably ask if liking traps is gay.

>>39185336
What in FUCKING HELL is wrong with you?

>>39185962
SAUCE PLEASE OREGONOARO

>>39186909
God is everywhere and everything. In what form would you have God take that is incontrovertible? God has no need to appease your desires.

>>39192777
I did not create it. I create and sustain the conditions in which the universe thrives. Otherwise, I only observe. It is you that create such human affairs through the creative tools I gave you when I created you in my image.

>>39189631
Through my love I gave you free will to do as you choose, and I will never thwart that, ever. Your life is the way it is because that is what you chose for yourself. That is what I chose for us; for in truth there is only one of us; one creator, and one entity to experience it all.

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>>39186909
A wicked and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given unto it, but the sign of the prophet of Jonas

Liking traps is straight by the way, whether you are a man or a woman.

>>39185336
What should I call you?

>>39187318
Space colonization when

>>39193162
But if were made in your image and youre perfect, why arent we?

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>>39185336
Why are you such a fucking asshole?

>>39185962
Source? oroeoeroeeo

>>39185336
Why did i get schizophrenia

Just this:

"Why?"

>>39186908
>happily plodding along doing nothing with our lives
and instead, we're here tearing each other apart
thank god

>>39194957
This. And not in a sad why, im genuinely curious if he had any reasons for doing all of this.

Which god are you?

>>39195074
he just wanted some friends

>>39185336
Ask for cheat codes

>>39185336
Can you please make enough beautiful, sexual, and cute anime catgirls living, real, physical, fertile to man's sperm, nearby, world-wide, in this moment, for all of time, and for all eternity to outnumber the entirety of humanity and whatever it evolves into?

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>>39187318
>Dolphins
THIS GOD IS A BASED GOD

>>39185336
Should tacos be eaten on tuseday or friday?

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Why are we still here? Just to suffer?
*dabs in metalgear*

>>39185336
How can I kill you? "You can't" is not an acceptable answer.

>>39195655
Friday.

orggigiglaoWWW!!!

Am I going to heaven or am I going to hell?

>>39186077
Without darkness there is no light my child.

>>39185336
Ayyo Waddup senpai?

Why when we mail things by car/truck it's a shipment, but when we mail it by ship it's cargo?

>>39197579
But that's wrong though.

>>39197616
Would you want to live in a place where there is only light? No shadows and shapes? No you wouldn't because you aren't designed to be neutral like a rock.

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y u make only two nipu?