I NEED A JOB BAD WHERE ARE THE FUCKING JOBS

Supermarkets and movie theaters, you would have to be seriously retarded not to get hired there.

that depends, do you have any skills? past job experience?

>>39161351
Why don't you strap on your job helmet, get into a job cannon, and fire off to jobland where jobs grow on jobbies?

They're out there, Champ. You just need to put yourself out there more.

whatever you do, dont work hospitality.

My mom can't even find a job, and she still tells me to "just get a job"

I'm like bitch get on welfare before this country goes ass up.

https://www.candidatecare.com/srccsh/home.guid?_jobsearch=true&x=29195&_cache=5496136084977676288

here you go, apply and wait

>>39161351

if you've gone to a bunch of interviews. I can 100% tell you that the reason you were not hired is because you weren't liked.

t. someone who has been apart of interviews

>>39161766
There's no way this post wasn't made by a nigger.

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>2 year gap in resume

kill me lads

>>39162402
Just because you're ignorant of white trash doesn't make them go away.

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>20 yr old
>never had a job

>>39161351
I just got a job as a residential construction worker. If you're even remotely in shape (I'm nowhere near /fit/) you can pick these up so damn easily in burger. The job I just picked up specifically said that if you had no experience, they'd start you at almost 150% of minimum wage AND train you. I had some experience, so they started me at almost double minimum wage

>>39161402
This is figuratively(figuratively literally) what you do.

>>39162520
just put on your cute anime girl face, old white men and immigrant bosses love that shit(if your white/cute)

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>>39164180
im a black guy with short hair and broad shoulders. i have big light brown eyes though, so maybe i can tempt a faggot.

>>39161351
i remember this thread from /bant/

good times

Look on indeed.
Easy jobs to get are warehouse, factory, and delivery jobs (not like pizza, but shipping using company vehicle) if you're 21+ and have decent driving record. Temp/staffing agencies can set you up with something as well.

>>39161351

Take a look at federal employment. Most of the good jobs require some previous federal employment, so start out looking for park ranger, census worker, and other low level positions. Once you have worked one entry level job, you should be qualified for more complex ones.

https://www.usajobs.gov/

Or, if you are under 30, wait for the once a year application period for air traffic controller training. This year's window passed last month. You likely won't make it through, but it's easy to get in, and they pay a stipend, as well as for your housing while you are in the free training.

If you make it through, you have a good paying job, with early retirement with a pension.

Ya'll niggas need to just go in and ask to talk the tha managa n shit
when he come out take out yo gat and be ike nigga gimme dat fukin job n pay me for workin 5 months already then i might come back tomorrow
assert yo self yung nigga

>>39161351
Trump brought back a million jobs and you haven't found one??

>>39161351
Are you getting interviews or not?

just got a job at amazon.
applied online, no interview, no phone calls, got offered, hehhe.
its warehouse job but $15 hr
fuck it.

>>39164840
This is brilliant. We need to do versions of the handshake meme for each race. By "we" I mean "someone who's not me", because I suck at copypasta writing.

>doesn't have a job

LAZY LAZY LAZY

>>39164529
>Take a look at federal employment. Most of the good jobs require some previous federal employment, so start out looking for park ranger, census worker, and other low level positions. Once you have worked one entry level job, you should be qualified for more complex ones.
>https://www.usajobs.gov/

Anyone who works in government knows that getting in is one of the most arduous bureaucracies there is.

usajobs.com is a good place for your resume to go nowhere for a few months unless you're a veteran.

If you want to get a job online, just do monster.com or go on linkedin and start reaching out to recruiters. Most jobs are get filled before they're even posted, so you have to be proactive about looking for places that are about to hire.

>>39161351
Walmarts hiring pretty much all the time. If you're willing to do shit work you'll get paid.

The next 2-5 year period is the peak boomer retiring moment. So many cushy state and government jobs are going to be open and anyone without work experience is going to be missing out.

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>finally got over the nojob meme
>now stuck with deadend minimum wage job while my prospects for a real career are no better

>>39165145
>getting in is one of the most arduous bureaucracies there is.

At least with a bureaucracy there is a process, and not just some 20 year old "manager" picking a resume at random.

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>>39161402
Your prize for making me kek is pic related

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>apply to evrey supermarket in town
>call back
>nothing
>evrey fast food establishment
>follow up
>nothing
>go to store i applied to
>hear manager say "these kids today are lazy and don't want to work,they want things handed to them"


BITCH!

>>39165887
You literally did none of those things. Fuck off kid.

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>>39165909
It's fucked here my man. I wish I was memeing. America is a 2nd world country in many cases 3rd

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>>39165927
>ability to sit

>>39165927
so which of those criteria did you fail to not get the job? how weak is your handshake?

>>39165927
Faggot if you think America is second world you have never lived in a second world country. China is second world. Mexico is second world. America is first world. You don't know how good you have it.

>>39161351
I've applied to over 500 jobs in the last year alone since graduating (EE). Got 15 interviews only, no job offers.
I'm pretty much fucked permanently now because I have a year gap in my resume where all I did was search for a job and shitpost on the chins.

>>39165435
>>39165435
I know this feeling brother

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Has anyone had luck with online job boards? I check sites like Indeed and sometimes Monster daily/every other day and apply at literally any job in my town that I meet the minimum requirements for and have been doing this for a long ass time now but I've only got like 5 interviews out of it and no jobs
>inb4 firm handshake maymay

>>39165927
>ability to sit
burgers, everyone

>>39164369
most fags dropped it since it became popular, then Milo soaked up all the extra faggot-energy that was around...so your kinda sool

>>39166252

Just fluff your resume man literally most people do it.

T. Someone who works in human resources

>>39165145
"unless you're a veteran."

Sorry but you are incorrect. Prior military and unemployed. I am at my wits end. Debating on getting an overseas contractor job or just dwelling in my perpetual downward spiral. It's not looking good. I am sooo frustrated.

>>39161351
youre white, you cant get a cuck job

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>>39161351
Currently employed, east coast US. About an hour from DC. Where do you live and what's your travel radius anon?

>5 year gap (did a bit off cc but then neet since then with nothing to show)
too weak for manual labor jobs (not to mention it's summer here in the desert and my rosacea is annoying as hell if I did outside farm work)
no one replies back, even if I pester they basically forgot who I was or say didn't get it
FUCK

>>39164529

Almost every Federal agency contracts out the low-level jobs to contractors, so you aren't really a "Fed" even though you are doing work for the US Govt. When they have an opening, they might recruit you siunce they know you, but it's mostly up to them.

Getting into the Feds is the hardest part of anything else you'll even do there (unless you work for Trump)

>get first job at age 20
>fired within 4 weeks
do i even put that on a resume or does that make me look worse?

>>39164958

Have you started yet? I hear those warehouse jobs are among the most brutal places you can imagine. Literally read articles on it and how much they micromanage you and yell at you and give you these ridiculously unattainable "quotas" and then yell at you because you didn't make your quota.

SRSLY, google "wakring in an amazon warehouse" and "picker"--it sounds like it's be an easy job that you'd quickly get used to, but the ones who've worked there will tell you otherwise.

There's a reason it was so easy to get in...they can't keep employees because of the conditions. You;d think they would realize it's easier to make conditions better and retain folks than constantly be hiring new people and training from zero, but they consider it was very low-skill wage, while practically firing you if you ever accidentally package up the wrong thing.

>>39165927
>two years of tertiary education to work at a supermarket entry level job.
And people pretend we aren't fucked
But we need more immigrants, right?

>>39167076
two day shipping is a hell of a commitment
doesn't matter how expensive training is. Slower = no two day shipping everywhere

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>>39167038

If you even have to ask this, you will never get a job.

> answer is fuck no

>>39161381
>tfw failed the online test for every supermarket job i've applied for

>>39167038
i worked a job for 6 weeks once, but i thought that looked bad on my CV so I stretched it to 5 months

>>39166345
Fluff it with what? Fake work experience? Who the fuck am I going to even find to back up those lies?

>>39165927
Apply for the "service-specialist" job, that's the entry-level one.

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>>39167116
>basic literasy skills
>hygiene upon request

>>39162431
Just lie, they aren't gonna check
"I worked at this now closed business"

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>>39164369
>Black
>No job ever
just... stop man

Apply to a warehouse.

Anybody can a job there.

You gotta hit the bricks, champ. Walk in there, look the manager straight in the eye and give him a firm handshake. Tell him you want the job and won't take no for an answer.

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>>39161351
>Tfw can't even get a mcjob

>>39163024
youd 90 percent need a car tho

>>39165927
>tfw you did a business degree but didnt major in entry level shopping market attendance

FUCK, i could be a multi-purpose clerk at Save Mart making $16 an hour right now!

>>39161351
Find a temp agency, ask what kinda work they have and do whatever you like till you find a better paying job

>>39161351
> Take a shower
> Shave
> Get a hair cut
> Apply for night shift security
> Get an interview
> Don't be a sperg
> Tell the interviewer you're detail oriented and a night owl
> HeartyHandshake.jpg

>>39168699
None of your advice is relevant to anyone in this thread besides the "get an interview" part which isn't even advice, more the objective.

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Made half a year of your salary in one night. Work smart not hard.

>>39161351
Don't wash a cat, they keep themselves clean

>>39168742
I don't understand stocks. To me, it just seems like gambling.

>>39161351
>walk into temp agency
>tell them no matter what you will be able to get tot he job
if you go "wellll i don't drive right now so i'd have to get X to drive me around and they work" fuck that just tell them you don't drive but getting there won't be a problem. you can cross that road when you get there. if your parents would really rather you lose your job and be jobless because they won't drive you then that's on them. you did everything you could in the now to get there.

and most of the time it'll just be mindless factory work and you barely talk to people. you don't have to talk to people at lunch. just be friendly but be blunt if you want to be left alone at lunch. say stuff like "hey i don't mean to be rude but i like to eat lunch alone" and stuff like that if you want to not talk to anyone at work.

Even if you do get a job the urge to kill yourself will only grow. Being a NEET is shit, but having a job and dreading every single day is even worse. The money isn't worth it.

>>39161351
I can offer you a job.
A handjob.

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>>39168708
>r9k
> not spergs
> not unwashed
> not unkempt
> not up at weird hours

Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to please leave the building. There's a ban on Normans being on property.

>>39168049
i was very reclusive for 7~ years. still am, but to a lesser degree

>>39168775
That's why you're poor.

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>>39167116
>I can put any child to sleep

>>39161351
in India

>>39165152
This is true but actually getting hired takes forever. Took me over 8 years since high school before I finally got hired this year. Mom being onboard vouching for me to get hired didn't seem to go through until now.

Too bad I'm quitting in November.

>>39161351

tfw there was an news article in the city where I live, about 3-4 grocery stores that had gotten over 5k applications combined.

why even bother to try.

didn't you know?
they took our jobs

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>>39165927
>Tfw fell for the STEM meme
>shoullda took produce clerk theory and self stocking logic instead

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>>39170979
>new store opens up
>line of 200 people with applications in hand
>cute girls,tall chads applying
>don't even bother

I don't know if I'm hired or not but they told me to come in and bring two forms of ID. I already interviewed..What are they up to, is it a trap?

>>39171204
>is it a trap?
Fucking what.

You're probably hired. Unless a you give a dirty drug test (if one is required) or a background check fails, you're likely good to go.

>>39164529
>park ranger
>easy
What's the secret? That's my dream job.

What skills should I learn if I want to immigrate and work in the USA?

>>39166264
If you're getting that many interviews but not landing any of them, you need to do something about the way you present yourself. If you're coming in for the interview, that means they already think you're qualified, they just want to see if you can deal with the stress of having to present yourself as a functioning, non-psychopathic they would like to work with. Before my first job, I had about 2 interviews. One I didn't get because I told them I wouldn't be able to work that long before going back to school and one I just fucked up the interview because of nerves. My last interview I literally just faked confidence and relaxation as best as I could.

>>39161351
>Went for a STEM field that actually has employment prospects
>A bit tough to find a job after graduating due to a pretty big company going trough two sets of layoffs just before and after I graduated
>Finally got a job
>Decent pay, somewhat interesting work
>Supposed to be testing the stability on a perpetual motion machine type system so most of my work for the last couple of weeks has been checking to see that the test machine is still running without errors a few times a day and just being bored
>Spend most of the day either going trough the control system codebase so that I'll be able to make modifications to it more effectively or just goofing off on reddit (4chan has a bad name so it's going to look bad if they log my connection or look over my shoulder)
>Literally spent something like 60% of my work time for the last couple of weeks on reddit

>>39167454
Don't make up a job, just add experience to whatever you've already done. It's not hard

>>39171347
Tech probably... But if you're not living in india or some other place where they're bringing people over from by the truckload to mostly just fill seats using H1B visas you really do need to be a top talent in that field.

>>39162502
t. nigger
Oringigian

>>39171338
This is an absolute lie, don't listen to him.

You actual need a degree in something related to park service to get a job in that. You also need to know people. On top of that, you also need a lot of internship experience.

My friend had all of those things and it still took him about 3 years to get into a short-term position. Nearly every other member of his family are in the park service as well and not just schmucks either, they have tons of connections. It's a very competitive field to get into.

>>39171347
None. We don't want more of you people and we're already full. Luckily we finally have a president that prioritizes giving jobs to Americans and not 3rd worlders like you.

>>39171460
I'm white and european

>>39171497
Like I said, we don't want more 3rd worlders, Habib

I know the feel.

Luckily I have an interview for a trainee optical consultant on monday, and another one for some warehouse work.

Around that i'll be writing in newpapers in order to move into that area of work.

The grind never ends boys,

>>39171509
absolute wew lad

>>39169005
But I'm not poor

lol it's easy to get a good job, just do what I did and get a relative to hire you into an easy position at a finance firm that pays well.

>>39171557
holy shit why didn't i think of this?
brb going to main street to look for my hobo dad so he can hire me

>>39168775
Those aren't stocks, so yes you should start learning

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>>39161351
Champ, all you need to do is get off that internet and hit the streets. Just go up to the manager, look him straight in eye, and give him a firm handshake. Tell him, you'll be the best employee he's ever had. That is the secret to finding a job Champ, don't let me down!

>>39161351
It is currently not possible to get a job in america unless you are born into a family buisness or qualify for military. . I want out of this shitty country

>>39166217
>americans actually believe this

At post office with mom
Sign says theyre hiring rural mail carriers, must have good driving
Record
License just got unsuspended after a year for dui
Why don't you apply for that son
Mom I have bad driving record
Maybe they won't check, if you don't try you'll never get a job
Fucking boomers reeee they're gonna check it's a fucking government job, I can't even be a pizza boy for the next three years

>Beat the nojob meme
>I'm working at a fucking butcher shop
This shit fucking sucks

Why didn't any of you assholes just get into a good field like aerospace engineering or medicine? It's basically guaranteed employment with a six figure salary after you graduate

>>39172484
what's wrong with being a butcher? Seems like it would be comfy

>>39171380
>If you're coming in for the interview, that means they already think you're qualified, they just want to see if you can deal with the stress of having to present yourself as a functioning, non-psychopathic they would like to work with.

You're half-right about that, but remember most of the time the employers are also bringing in other candidates to interview.
I think HR has some sort of quota to bring in at least X number of candidates for an actual interviewer and then a department head/manager would decide who to hire.
If you're in an interview you have to do more than just list off things that are already in your resume. Your answers have to resonate with them and match the qualities that they are looking for. Also a big plus is when you and the interviewer share an interest or can have a good conversation. A good interview will last more than 15 or 30 or however long the allotted time slot is.

That's probably the hardest thing for robots. I know I don't have a lot of normie interests and I can barely keep a conversation flowing for more than 5 minutes. I would be terrible at a front end position or team environment.

>>39172812
That's what I thought. Here's the reality.
>5am starts
>It's fucking freezing year round in the shop
>You smell like roadkill no matter how much you scrub your hands and arms
>Shit pay
>Long hours
>Not as dangerous as other trades but you annihilate your fingers within 3 months of starting
Honestly I'd rather be a bricklayer at this point.

>>39172471
>Driving under influence
You fucking failed normie why were you driving while high? Serves you right, degenerate.

>>39173036
you also forgot:
>when you're new you're the bitch boy which means you're the one who does everything by hand, including rearranging the freezer
people are lucky there are even butchers or meat departments with how bad the pay is compared to the labor.

>>39161351

I'll pay you $15 an hour to lick my hairy, feces encrusted rectum

>>39161351
get job at large organization

take advantage of tuition reimbursements

get skills

get better paying job

start off as a temp

>>39173062
Don't fucking remind me, I have to go sort out the fucking freezer tomorrow. Sucks that butchering in of itself is so shit since most of the people I work with are pretty good blokes, it's just that the jobs we all have to do are absolutely shithouse.

>>39172792
>engineering
>guaranteed employement
Only if you're a pajeet with a h1b visa