It's friday night shitheads. How are you holding up ?
Jukebox: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuyL2NdUPV8&t=765s
To the memory of Jack.
>>39157852
Bumping my own thread yet again.
>>39157852
Had a crush on her for more than a decade, her "no" sealed the whole story and I kind of got over her and lost my entire soul. I could at this point probably watch a person close to me die and not shed a single tear. Yet knowing that she's probably getting married soon makes me very uneasy.
>>39158098
Do you still suffer or are you just numb ? Please order something.
Gin please.
I'm headed back to college. Another year of stress and no girlfriend.
>>39158163
I am numb, but as I said, it looks like she can still make me hurt somewhat.
But you know what, I don't mind it at all. I don't want to escape that pain, I never wanted to. It was always so good at making me feel alive. I feel like the melancholia is somehow making me powerful, giving me the power to express myself and not care about trivial stuff.
Now that you're asking, I'll have a gin tonic. I'll also put a little something in the jukebox for all the robots here tonight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9EjE4qm7b8
>>39158264
You took the words out of my mouth. That's exactly how I fell about melancholy.
>>39157852
Wild Turkey, on the rocks please.
Tomorrow is the anniversary of my gf cheating on me. Gonna try not to think too hard about it.
>>39158750
Just remembering the date is already hurting you man.
>>39158256
What is your original major anon ?
>>39158784
I'm afraid of what tomorrow is gonna be like. Right now I'm trying hard not to think about it too much but I know I'm not gonna be able to resist it for much longer.
>>39158740
So I'm not alone then. I always thought that that was an unpopular opinion considering how much the modern society wants to cure melancholy with meds. Why the fuck should people be happy all the time?
Yo, barkeep, give this guy whatever he's drinking and put it on my tab.
Sick of being a NEET and going to work towards a new career option.. Hopefully it works out and I don't ultimately give up again
I'll take bourbon on the rocks.
Just ended 7 weeks of procrastination. Still got two weeks before starting my second year of preparation for the national exams. It gonna be tough. The competitive ambiance in thoses classes is really the best for losers like me.
Prepare me something with Jaggermeister please, your choice.
>>39159360
Good on you mate. I finished my exams so only thing I'm procrastinating about is my art practice. What are you studying/want to study ?
>>39157852
i got arrested once in high school and now i always get super paranoid that someone's gonna call the cops on me for literally anything remotely illegal
>>39157852
I dont know whether to go university or not...I cant be bothered and I fear failure but I think it'll do me good.
>>39158949
>>39158264
It is an unpopular opinion, I think. When I told people how I thought about this subject everyone gave me weird looks and said I was wrong. Melancholy is the most suitable mental state in my opinion for self reflection.
>>39159445
I had a few run-ins with the police in my teens too. It was minor stuff so no big deal. What did you do to get arrested anon ?
>>39157852
>meet girl at party that has a beta bf (cyborg reporting in)
>she's all over me anyway
>adds and messages me next day
>complains about her bf and sex life
>almost immediately turns into sexting
>sends me nudes/vids and tells me the nastiest shit
>couldnt fugg her because i had just left the city for a few days
>agrees to meet when i get back
>she comes over when i get back
>we hang out and watch a movie, have a few drinks
>start to cuddle and feel her up etc.
>things start getting heated
>her buyers remorse kicks in, starts feeling insane guilt over cheating on her bf
>she starts bawling and behaving like a literal 4 year old
>bring her home
>she tells me she "just wanted to be friends" and how she "can't believe i would try to do that"
>deletes and blocks me everywhere
>my nuts be blue
>>39159793
Normie shit to a certain degree is alright but this is too much. Please share something more robotic.
>>39159442
I'm in the french "classe prepa". I went there because I love maths and everyone told me that the only people going there are mathfags. It turns out that I found only 2 guys who were really into it, the others being normies or failed ones.
I wanna study category theory and other abstract monsters.
>>39157852
It will be my birthday on Monday
Just want to kill myself to be honest
Some girly cocktail please
>>39159932
How old do you turn ?
>>39159959
I am going to turn 22
I don't really know why I did it:
>be me 10 yrs ago
>after the lost of loved family member fell into depression
>parents notice something wrong with me
>get taken to a professional
>diagnosed with clinical depression
>start taking meds
>all the suffering made me almost completely numb
>decide that i will not do anything that will put someone in the same place that I was
>ff to now
>meet qt that has been al over Europe, knows a few languages
>made her extremely interesting and fun to talk to her
>had a bad day
>she approaches me and asks whats wrong
>"idk i'm just not in a very good mood today, thats all"
>she made me smile that day
>realize that i'm slowly falling for her
>always thought that no one would be with someone like me because of my depression and self-harm scars (ik 2 edgy lololo XDdd)
>end up falling in love with her
>tell my small group of friends
>one of them stays really quiet and doesen't comment on it
>2 weeks later realize he also like her
>i thought to myself: "this guy is better tan me in many ways, I've got no chance of getting with her"
>talk to him about it
>end up "giving up" on this amazing girl
>tell him that she deserves someone like him, not a fuck up like me
>he doesn't say a thing to me about her
I'm really sad that I felt like I had to let go of it. I actually thought i had a chance for once.
Every time i see them talking i feel like a cuck. I guess that if I had gotten with her i would make my best friend feel like shit, and i didn't want him to feel like me when i was 16.
All i can think of is how I never really had a chance, she was just being nice to me.
The way she looks at him makes me wonder how would it feel if she looked at me like that
I'll have an Old fashioned.
My bf and I got into a huge fight and didn't speak to each other for about a day, then today all the sudden he comes home very clearly tipsy, acts super affectionate and tells me he loves me for the very first time since we started dating. He then passed out on the couch and I don't know how to feel about any of this
Fuck me, I thought getting my first bf would solve all my problems, and being a fag would be easy. I'll take something hard, barkeeper anon.
>>39159905
the girl was almost definitely a fembot roastie (at least definitely as mentally unstable as one) so it kind of fits
>>39157852
Bad. Country looks like it's headed for a civil war. I'm just going to start pretending to be an SJW to everyone. They look like they're the winning side. I might even start to believe the ideology after a while.
Seeing my dad now, how far he got, and how much he works for it, makes me feel sad about myself. Even though he says he's proud of me, I still think I haven't done nearly enough.
I'll have some cognac.
>>39157852
Hey barkeep, how has life been treating you?
I'll take a coffee with irish cream, if you've got it.
I'm alright. Work has been tough. Im an amputee but people expect me to be keeping up with everyone else. Sometimes it hard to justify going in everyday when I could just stay home and collect disability. Im still alone either way. My phantom limb has been getting worse too, but for the time being Im sticking to hard work and honour. Havent given up yet.
>>39157852
I am just so fucking tired of working. 6th week in a row with no days off 70+ hours. I never felt so fucking tired in my entire life. funny thing is I dont even need the money. I am going part time, fuck these cunts. few bourbon pls famalam.
>>39157852
Got any cider on tap?
My only friends are in happy relationships. I don't know how to cope with the fact I'll never know what love feels like or find someone who likes me as much as I like them
>>39157852
I've been in a big old manic period for most of the day, give me something hard so I'll either calm down or finally grasp my humanity
>tfw ruin all the hobbies I try and get into through going way too far into detail/thought over them to the point I can't stand to think of them anymore
>>39161908
>all the hobbies I try and get into
such as?
Hard tequila brodie, keep the bottle, tonight, after many years, i think i'm in the right path again, i went back to school and i think i'm doing fine, besides i'm losing my fear to women and i speak to them nromally (mostly)
might need to break up with the gf
I NEED SEX
H-hey, so uhh... i need something to calm me down.
I think i killed my ex-classmate's dad
>have bully/asshole classmate in high school
>always wished him suffering like the edgelord that i was.
>recently started thinking about him and wished he or his familly would die.
>check facebook 30 minutes later
>he updated his profile picture
>it's a black ribbon
>his dad died
>mfw i think i laid a curse on him
uhh give me a stout beer, that ussually calms me down.
(i know i didn't really kill him but it's still creepy that the timing was almost perfect)
>>39162032
pic related, chad's dad is dead
Im feeling sad and scared right now anon.
Im 20 years old and i just got my 1st apartment with a work friend. He's an ok guy but can get super annoying sometimes. Im worried about rent, im worried about making my car payment, im worried about life.
The only thing that makes me happy is her. Just seeing her makes my day fucking worth living. Im sad that im not with her right now and im sad that i wont see her for a few days because shes going out of town with her mom.
Im just sitting here in my apartment feeling down as shit, wishing i was closing my work tonight (shes closing too)
I tried to see if some of my friends wanted to go out to occupy my mind but they blew me off.
I have no idea what to do
Right now im just staring at a picture we took together last night, and while that does make me happy its only temporary
Pic obviously unrelated
>>39162169
>using fucking emojis to mark his death
unreal
>>39162177
What is she like? what makes her special to you?
>>39162169
are you fucking kidding me? his father dies and hes posting this shit with these faggy emojis. jesus fucking christ.
>>39162177
stop obsessing over one girl. they will always sense it and know and not like you for it.
>>39162228
>>39162192
imagine dealing with that basic ass typical jock stereotype from a 90's movie for 4 years. People are getting fucking stupider.
gin and juice on the rocks please
>tfw spent the entire day planning hotline miami cosplay
rate, this is what im gonna be using so far
https://www.amazon.com/Deluxe-Cosplay-Costume-Accessory-Xcoser/dp/B06XQ16JX5/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1502916961&sr=8-4&keywords=chicken+mask
https://www.amazon.com/Guytalk-Letterman-Premium-Baseball-BROWNKHAKI/dp/B015UCOAQM/ref=pd_sim_193_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=BZ9TQMHJ3G0WCSNQGDTQ
https://www.amazon.com/Alphabet-Letter-Yellow-Embroidered-Applique/dp/B01BHF0I6C/ref=pd_sim_193_5?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=NVA1E4MQFNJ3B163D3QT
>>39162298
Wasn't his jacket yellow and white?
>>39162315
not really anon
all i need to find now are the jeans which will be easy (goodwill), fake blood (party city), and the bat. where could i get a wooden ball bat?
>>39162361
Oh yeah, i was thinking about HM2
as for the bat, Dicks or any sporting goods store really
>>39162298
shiet i always wanted to do this too. would be so awesome to go with like 3 other people.
>>39157852
It's a Friday night, you alco.
>>39158098
I sort of know this feel, Anon. I'm on year 11 of oneitis, except I'm nowhere near over her. She wasn't interested when I said I wanted to marry her 11 years ago, and now, she's engaged.
>>39162361
goodwill too
>>39162434
His jacket was yellow with white sleeves in HM1
Glass of straight whiskey.
I finally made my first youtube video for my review channel, and I'm trying to learn how I can get it some attention without obvious shilling.
>>39162361
That picture is a Payday DLC promo. His character sprite in Hotline Miami 1 is white and yellow.
>>39162315
>>39162434
>>39162519
>>39162811
a question for you anons
should i go with a realistic mask, or stick with the one I posted? i really like that one, but i don't know which one would look better
>>39163297
noted, ill plan accordingly. thank you
>>39163304
Look into West Point jackets. I have one with yellow fabric black leather sleeves, complete with an insignia on the back. Not exact, but fits the themes of Nationalism in Hotline Miami.
I'd recommend just using the basic rubber animal masks. It fits the aesthetic more, and makes more sense in universe for 50 Blessings to use generic masks they can buy bulk.I really, really like Hotline Miami
>>39157852
Tonic and gin. Acoustic version of "Hey ya" sounds actually sad.
https://youtu.be/8ejeEBlDESc
I'm over my jerk boyfriend who left me, and am interested in my coworker. I don't know how to approach him and I have this stalky feeling we should be together. I might have had love at first sight, when he came in for his interview something clicked. I think he's the only reason I'm not crying over my ex, now I have hope. Bad news is that I have no idea if he's even in a relationship, and I'm actually scared. I'm easy going and charismatic when it comes to talking to new people, and on first dates, but him I get too nervous. Like I'm an awkward teenager all over again despite being 23.
>>39157852
Hey guys
What's an overwhelmingly sweet and minty alcoholic beverage?
Is tequila sweet?
I hate the taste of alcohol... Going to go to the store and get some
>>39163490
Just take it slow, strike a conversation with him, see if he's single and see where it goes from there
>>39162687
>going on year one of oneitis
>haven't seen her in months
>she recently got pregnant
>still nowhere close to being over her
Just how long will this ride last?
>>39157852
Gimme a 40oz cup of cherry dr. pepper with ice please, keep the syrup ready in case it gets too watered down.
I've decided to quit drinking and try to make friends for a change, desu.
I've given up on my dream of being a trap and finding an older rich man to take care of me forever and ever and the feels are too much, I'm going off the rails here.
>>39163570
tequila is not sweet lol. none of the basics like tequila, rum, whiskey, vodka, etc. are sweet at all. gin is kind of like minty pine needles but it's still not sweet really.
just wanna get drunk anon? get some liqueurs. something like Cointreau or Triple sec is ~40% alcohol % and it's a very sweet orange taste, likely still too much for you to drink straight but you can easily mix it with orange juice/7up/lemonade and mask the alcohol
A beer please sir, and a good evening to all of (You), btw already having some drinks here
>>39163462
which mask do you reccomend?
1. https://www.amazon.com/Deluxe-Cosplay-Costume-Accessory-Xcoser/dp/B06XQ16JX5/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1502916961&sr=8-4&keywords=chicken+mask
2.https://www.amazon.com/Forum-Novelties-71353-Rooster-Latex/dp/B00BFWCKSM/ref=cts_ap_2_vtp?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=2897711222&pf_rd_r=YAWPY2NBDRAFHTWCX60V&pd_rd_wg=I0MMO&pf_rd_s=desktop-detail-softlines&pf_rd_t=40701&pd_rd_i=B00BFWCKSM&pd_rd_w=1qFcr&pf_rd_i=desktop-detail-softlines&pd_rd_r=YAWPY2NBDRAFHTWCX60V&_encoding=UTF8
3. https://www.amazon.com/HMS-Rooster-Mask-Faux-White/dp/B00EO8TSCU/ref=cts_ap_1_vtp?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=2897711222&pf_rd_r=YAWPY2NBDRAFHTWCX60V&pd_rd_wg=I0MMO&pf_rd_s=desktop-detail-softlines&pf_rd_t=40701&pd_rd_i=B00EO8TSCU&pd_rd_w=1qFcr&pf_rd_i=desktop-detail-softlines&pd_rd_r=YAWPY2NBDRAFHTWCX60V&_encoding=UTF8
4. https://www.amazon.com/Lubber-Rooster-Latex-Animal-Costume/dp/B01I74M828/ref=cts_ap_4_vtp?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=2897711222&pf_rd_r=YAWPY2NBDRAFHTWCX60V&pd_rd_wg=I0MMO&pf_rd_s=desktop-detail-softlines&pf_rd_t=40701&pd_rd_i=B01I74M828&pd_rd_w=1qFcr&pf_rd_i=desktop-detail-softlines&pd_rd_r=YAWPY2NBDRAFHTWCX60V&_encoding=UTF8so do i
>>39164266
1, 2, or 4, though I lean on 2 for the simplicity.
>>39157852
Give me my usual chiefprotein shake mixed with coffee, preworkout, energy drink and vodka. I quit my job. Was a manual labor job decent enough but the pay was kinda shit and I missed the NEET life.
a classmate of mine's been really gettin on my nerves with her belligerence. jack n coke barky.
>easily 400lbs
>never wears a bra or pants, just daisy duke cutoffs
>refuses to shower, the worst slobbo
>stinks of pot
>loud and always 40 minutes late
>has missed 7 classes and thus 7 assignments
>because i'm doing well my instructor asked that i privately tutor her
>constant swearing about how fucked up her life is and how much she hates her ex husband
>brings her rowdy toddlers into class and plays videos for them on her ipad without headphones
today she stopped the class three times to get the same explanations for the simplest tasks because she was too busy texting to take notes
how do people like this exist
Man, I've felt like shit lately. my sister was (and still is) the more accomplished sibling. I think I fucked it up with this girl I've been talking to who's way out of my league. In my life I've always lost friends to the point I feel nothing while losing them and as I'm making new friends I now how it'll end, slowly stop talking to them to a point where I don't know if I should text them then over time drift till it's all just a memory. I'm pretty numb to it now though mostly. The ride never ends
>>39164589
Stop tutoring her, especially if you're not getting money. Are you stupid? Why are you tolerating this?
>>39164589
>how do people like this exist
Fat acceptance, the collapse of the nuclear family,and cultural Marxism
>>39164645
oh sorry i forgot to get to that bit
i offered and she said, and i quote
"i don't need your fuckin help" so
>>39157852
>uni apartment has a floor meeting for freshman
>pile into the ra's room
>everyone on my floor is a qt girl, besides me and my roommate
>I'm sitting directly across from the girls
>nervous as fuck
>look down at the paper the whole time
>too scared to talk to anybody besides the ra
>the girls pay attention to my subjectively less attractive roommate who's just as quiet as me
I hate myself. I just wanna go home. I'm too much of a sperg to make friends. I tried smalltalk, but goddamn, that shit is painful. Just give me a glass of antifreeze so I can kms.
>>39164664
Ok she doesn't need help so you can stop with clear conscience.
>>39164589
replying to myself because im so tired i forgot about this
>barrels into class 40 minutes late
>"WHERE CAN I SIT"
>several available desks
>she has one of those big new smore frapp things
>when she sits it's like she's attempting to destroy the chair with her bottom
>just collapses into it
>chair survives the blow
>but due to her lack of grace she drops the frapp
>"oh FUCK ME!! sHIT"
>leaves for another 15 just to get paper towels to clean it up
>>39164255
Good evening to you as well anon.
>>39164705
The hell man. This can't be a real person.
>>39163617
If you're like me, the ride will never end. You can still enjoy other relationships, though, as long as you accept that it's possible to be in love with more than one person at a time. I'm happily married. My wife knows about my oneitis and considers it good to know that my love is lifelong. It would be ideal if I could just get over my oneitis, but given that I can't, I can live around it.
>>39164780
i tried recording her today, but i wasn't as on the ball as i thought it was, got 8 minutes of her planning a camping trip and background noise of people typing
>roastie at work starts screeching about how the pans will rust if they're put away wet
>they're aluminum
>tfw after 19 years of suffering I finally, FINALLY got a gf
>She was the first person to truly care about me, comfort me
>Spent some nights just cuddling in bed, she always made me feel loved by occasionally giving me a kiss on the cheek or chest
>Tfw she was my first actual kiss
>tfw I admitted to her that I love her and she said the same in turn
>THAT FUCKING FEEL WHEN I HAD TO MOVE AWAY 2 WEEKS AGO
>THAT FICKIN FEEL WHEN I DONT WANT TO FORCE HER TO HAVE A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
>THAT FUCKING FEEL WHEN SHE TOLD ME SHE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME IF I NEED HER, AND MEANWHILE IM WASTING AWAY IN THIS FUCKING COLLEGR DORM IN PHILADELPHIA JUST WISHING THST I COULD BE WITH HER AGAIN
FUKC THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT GODDAMMIT!!!!!
>>39165018
What college in philly anon?
>>39157852
Two weeks into my new part-time job doing filing for a law firm. It's going well, the normies are accepting me as one of their own and I've spilt a little spaghetti. I got my first paycheck for the hours I've worked so far, $160 which I plan to spend the most lavish cardboard box money can buy. Not sure what I'm going to do after I have installed myself as a sleeper agent in normie society. Maybe I should have thought this out more?
>>39157852
No white woman wants a white boy in todays day and age. The black man is the epitome of male dominance and masculinity.
Lets start by looking at his body. His body is large. His domineering size makes his presence known without him even needing to point himself out. He is muscular, as a result of his high levels of testosterone. This gives him the appearance of health and strength. He is then covered by his dark skin. This dark skin reminds us of his ruggedness, a feature
hat developed due to being exposed to the scorching sun of Africa, made to withstand such an extreme condition. It also has a psychological effect on the observer. The dark skin reminds us of our dark, deep desires that emerge from our primal subconscious past.
The black man's demeanor is one of alphaness. He is dominant, assertive, and can be explosively aggressive. His behavior strikes fear into the more timid, cowardly races of man. (whites)
The summit of expression of his masculinity on his body is his penis. The black penis is largest of all the races. As the penis is the penultimate symbol of manhood, this alone would suffice to make the black man the most masculine of men. This large penis is able to fulfill the desire of the neediest of women, being able to more than fill all the recesses of the vagina. Its length ensures that when it ejaculates, the potent African seed will immediately enter the womb of the woman the black man impregnates.
In total, the black man expresses this masculinity in a most exemplary manner in bed. When he fucks, he unleashes the entirety of his lusts and desires upon his partner without any restraint.
All this is the reason why the black man is the epitome of masculinity and male dominance.
>>39157852
I'll mirror my drink IRL - raspberry vodka and mixed berry seltzer.
Things have been going okay. I'm registered for school in the spring, I'm down 20 pounds, I'm going through depression and substance abuse groups at the moment. Back on my meds. Things are looking up, bartender!
>>39157852
I-is the original guy behind this thread dead? If so, how did we find out?
Moscow Mule, please.
>been seeing this girl every now and then
>we work in the same industry, have similar interests
>recently she stopped by and had an hour long conversation with me
>talk about all sorts of shit and she talks about her personal business with me
>super easy to talk to
>ask her to go do something a couple of times but she just says maybe another time and asks how long I'm going to be around
>didn't say the words "date" or told her explicitly that I liked her, just kept it vague, but had strong body language communicating that I liked her
>she had strong body language too
>eventually we go out in a group
>her boyfriend shows up
>never mentioned to me she had a bf
>objectively uglier than me, much older guy
>she starts acting awkward and ignoring the group
Am I being led on? Or does she like me but trying to keep me around as a plan b? She added me on facebook before I even met her. I would have been fine with rejection, but being led on hurts a lot. She even mentioned that she'd drive out to my area (100 miles away) to work with me if I ever wanted her help.
>>39166436
Maybe ask if she wants to help you out and see what happens? I don't know romance and communication aren't my thing
I've been stuck in a rut lately, I've sort of always banked on my feelings for a person in terms of socializing and relationships, sort of like "I don't need friends or a relationship when I've got this person", so honestly I used that as an excuse to not try and overcome my potential anxiety/autism or even acknowledge it
Anyhow, when I finally tried to act in those feelings everything sort of just fell flat, and since then I've been stuck, I tried a relationship but was too much of mess to handle that, so I begrudgingly started going to therapy, and while I feel like that's helping me cope with things and maybe helping me understand q thing or two about myself, but I don't feel like I know what I'm doing with my life, like I don't have a road or direction
I guess I'm venting, but if I was asking a question it'd be what to do next, any small step forward I could take, a way to plan things out or set goals that mean something
>>39158795
Political science and public policy
I-Is there anybody in here?
>>39167852
yeah I'm still waiting for my 40oz of cherry dr pepper!
>>39167102
I'm also in poli sci and have no plans to do anything with it. I just think it's useful to have a ba. Probably falling for a meme but oh well. My life is a meme anyways
The NEET life is starting to wear on me. The last 2000+ days of my life have been pretty much identical. I don't think I can keep doing this but I'm too afraid to actually go out into the world and do something else.
>>39167962
whats early life atrophy like?
>>39159522
>Melancholy is the most suitable mental state in my opinion for self reflection.
unequivocally true.
It's the reason even intelligent normies are stupid.
Melancholy is to be truly free of bias.
I guess I'd like a Scotch please if anybody is tending the bar. I need something to get me to sleep tonight. I have to see my dad tomorrow, and it never ends well. I'd like to be well rested for it at least.