I hate OCD so much. I wanna die

>>39134046
anon what compulsions do you have

I used to have a lot and got over them without meds

>>39134082
I have to masturbate 3 times in a row. Usually multiple times a day

>>39134127
That's it? Are you kidding?

>>39134243
wait you said 3 times in a row, lol, that's definitely ocd and I actually think that would suck

Me too bro. I'm going to get meds

>tfw meds make OCD so much worse

What the fuck bros, this wasn't
supposed to happen.

>>39134353
How so? I would think it would help

>have to touch everything with both hands
>if I touch something with one hand, have to touch it with other
>sometimes to make it equal I have to do it 10 times in a row
>stop on road to fix shoe and start touching shoe with other hand 10 times

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>>39134046
>Go to the bathroom 3 times before I sleep

>Rub parts of my arm or leg on a part of a railing in my house because if anything touches it it feels weird and I have to tocuh it to make the feeling go away

>Am in an almost constant state of movement because my body almost feels weird

>Spend half of my time awake itching itches that aren't there

>Haven't slept soundly in weeks because of OCD

>Anon you don't have OCD you're just weird

I fucking hate normies. If I listed all the compulsions I have it'd hit the character limit and I'd leave out a bunch of them because I've lost count at this point.

>>39134353
read my post >>39134082

meds wont help they just get rid of the compuslions until you stop taking them

>>39134536
Not him but how do you get rid of the obsessions and compulsions? More importantly the obsessions?

>>39134562
ignore them, it's really that simple

it's agonizing at first but eventually your brain will stop making you have them because it knows you won't give in to the urges

>>39134590
>Ignore them
You make it sound easier than it is

>>39134605
>it's agonizing at first

I've done it with like 10 different compulsions

the more you let it go on the worse it will get, it's why I got so many but the good thing is that once you learn to ignore one you have understood how to ignore them all

>always think I dress like shit
>take 2 hours just to keep trying clothes to feel okay
>always feel lonely
>feel like I won't find someone
>keep pondering it
>try downloading apps
>get some messages
>get excited
>hours pass
>start obsessing what they are doing
>keep checking the profile
>keep messaging in fear of them not noticing the message
>constantly opening and closing the apps
>meanwhile at work trying to fill out sheets
>can't think of any of the info cause of the apps
>fear of fucking up my job
>start thinking i'll get fired
>Intrusive thoughts of failing at life start happening and conjoins with being a lone
>anxiety kicks into high gear
>start poking myself with sharp objects to settle nerves
>get worked up I pass out at home from exhaustion
I want out already..I can't take this

I have OCD and it's hell. I get money for it, though. But lately I've been getting lots of pain in my elbows and wrists which makes playing games nearly impossible so I'm bored and frustrated constantly. As horrible as it is, sometimes I wish my parents would pass away in their sleep so I'd have no excuse not to kill myself.

>>39134663
Idk. Just seems odd to have a disorder and just say "stop thinking it" it "ignore it" and suddenly be cured

>>39134257
That's not OCD you fucking autist

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>tfw thought therapy was a meme but was getting so desperate from my OCD I did it anyway
>tfw went for a year and it actually got way better
>I'm way better at managing it now and have some degree of control over it
>tfw blessed relief
>tfw enjoying life more

Therapy does work sometimes lads. Plus my therapist was a qt. Why not try it out for a month or so, see if it works for you?

>>39134257
Not OCD
This is though >>39134752

>>39134046
just relax man
are you like howie mandel style or worse?

>>39134663
but will they always keep coming back forever?
I get "motivated" every time I see someone talking about it and how they dealt with it and from time to time I can fight them, but then after a while a different one comes back and it all explodes uncontrollably.
I have tourettes-driven OCD's, ticks mostly, and the best I can do is tell my mind at any given moment "alright this is it, I will simply stop this out of my own will, simply cause I can" but I fear that it will always stay with me
I haven't tried ignoring them for too long tho, maybe that's the definitive solution?

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>>39134837
I only got to see a therapist a few times, and she said my obsessive behaviors were stemming from my anxiety (which, fair enough, ocd is an anxiety disorder), but... we never got to figure out how to manage my anxiety. So now I just sit around and when I'm feeling obsessive, I know it's because I'm anxious, but I can't stop my checking behaviors which only gets me more anxious. I hate it.

Me too but I take meds so I can control it now

>tfw 95% obsessions and 5% compulsions (Pure O) OCD

Pure hell morelike.

Not OCD, though I was misdiagnosed with it once, but I can kind of relate since I have body dysmorphic disorder and spend entire days thinking about how ugly I am and way too much time either looking in or avoiding mirrors. I tear at my skin with my nails a lot too. Apparently I even look good, I'm just delusional. I don't understand it, life is hell. Sometimes I can't even go outside from how much I think I look like a monster.

>>39135366
Same bro. It's torture

>>39135366
>>39135499
What does that even mean? I've heard of pure O before but never really understood it.

>>39135512
It's basically having the fear, worries, unwanted intrusive thoughts and constantly having them but with little to no compulsions to go with them

I don't really have "ritualistic" compulsions, but I'm constantly and obsessively paranoid about various things. Everything I worry about has some basis in reality, but my brain takes everything to extremes.

For example, I tend to obsess over turning light switches off because I'm afraid of them getting stuck half-way and arcing, which is a legitimate possibility, but sometimes I spend like two minutes checking if a light switch is all the way off, or walk away and then come back to re-check.

Same thing with door locks. It's not like a person shouldn't be sure to lock their doors, but when you spend several minutes re-checking or go back to check again, it's a problem.

I think everything is made worse by the fact that I have a poor memory. For example, I don't really feel compelled to wash my hands excessively, but I will often wash my hands and then semi-forget if I washed them or not and have to do it again. It's a very weird feeling, like I know I did wash them, but the memory isn't clear enough so I can't trust it.

Sadly these are just a few of many, many issues I have like this on a daily basis.

I also suffer from what I'd consider more in the realm of paranoia than OCD when it comes to certain stuff. Like I might see a spec of dust and assume it's an insect and become extremely paranoid about having an insect infestation. Issues like this are way worse than me than the OCD-type stuff. Sometimes I can't get these thoughts out of my head for weeks and basically feel completely hopeless like there's no way out. Eventually I stop obsessing over one paranoid fear but the relative peace never lasts long before something triggers a fear again.

I've never tried any sort of medication but I'm having some pretty bad fears lately and I'm really thinking about trying to get on meds. I just don't know how many more times I can spend weeks trying to "get over" an obsessive fear just to have another one triggered soon after. This hell never ends.

>>39135512
It means the OCD is mostly all mental, thoughts and obsessions, neverending stream of negative and intrusive like thoughts, but with very little compulsions acted out to counter them, like the more common form of OCD, my only compulsions are really locked door/window checking, and a lot of hand washing but my thoughts are a constant stream of negatives, intrusive thoughts, and you have to constantly reassure yourself you will never do those things or those things won't happen, every negative shit the mind conjures up out of the blue. Sometimes its not negative but unpleasant like association one thing you like with something you dislike, because you did not want to happen but it did because you thought about it so now the association is stuck forever. Unwanted gross and negative mental imagery/scenes that come out of nowhere and can be really vivid and distrubing.

The irrational fear that your thoughts alone will lead to negative real world effects. And the compulsions are mostly mental - reassuring yourself, ruminating and obsessing over them, trying to steer your thoughts and intrusive imagery in other directions, constantly reminding myself "theres the OCD again" etc, very little visible compulsions acted out.

I had it even worse just last year, a perfect storm of anxiety, return of panic attacks, and agoraphobia led to an OCD so strong and uncontrolled that it even gave me new phobias of things I never feared before, I had to look it up because nothing like that had ever happened before and its apparently a thing, sufferers of OCD can sometimes develop new phobias as a result, during periods of high prolonged anxiety like I had. Its real hell.

Anyways since learning about and reading about it and realizing I had it I've been able to cope with it better, it also helped to take up meditation and learn the concept "you are not your thoughts" and to learn to dis-identify with these intrusive thoughts and realize they are not a part of me.

>>39135586
>>39135762
Interesting, thanks for explaining in so much detail. I'm the anon with BDD >>39135395 and it sounds kind of more similar to how it is for me. I have some compulsions I have to do, but it's far more a neverending stream of negative and intrusive thoughts, and sometimes I can manage to overcome and stop the compulsions, but the thought process is almost impossible to stop. Spend entire days on them, and I often don't go outside from it even when I'd like to. I sympathise a lot with people who have OCD, sounds like a relatable hell.

>>39135762
To clarify its not like I dont have compulsions but they're seldom acted out, most are in my thoughts, primarily mental compulsions, the things you do in your mind and tell yourself in your head to counter the OCD intrusive thoughts and imagery.

Also I've never taken medication for OCD either, have had some medications sometimes for anxiety but never specifically for OCD, I'm wary of doing so too, paranoid but with some legitimate basis that my personality and thinking will be forever altered negatively in some way, paranoid of the effects that SSRI's have on the libido, etc, fearing that medicating will leave me worse of than attempting to deal with it on my own, which I do mostly by lots of porn/fapping and meditating/deep breathing excercises as well as mental grounding - focusing only on the here and now and present moment.

>>39135762
my thoughts are a constant stream of negatives, intrusive thoughts, and you have to constantly reassure yourself you will never do those things or those things won't happen, every negative shit the mind conjures up out of the blue. Sometimes its not negative but unpleasant like association one thing you like with something you dislike, because you did not want to happen but it did because you thought about it so now the association is stuck forever. Unwanted gross and negative mental imagery/scenes that come out of nowhere and can be really vivid and distrubing.

>>39135714 here
You described what I experience very well. If I just had the "compulsive" stuff like light switches, door locks, and hand washing, I would consider the disorder nothing but a minor nuisance. But these intrusive thoughts and negative associations that I can't actually do anything about are a hell inside my brain that I have experienced nearly my entire life.

>>39135886
I too am afraid of the effects of medication, but I don't know how much longer I can just live with this trying to "ignore" it. Sure I've had some success with the "ignore it and the anxiety will diminish" method, but sometimes the anxiety stays strong for weeks, and it doesn't take much for something to trigger an extreme paranoid fear again, starting the cycle over again.

>>39134837
It really does work. It can't fix it entirely, but you can get through a lot with it.
I spent my high school years without saying a word thanks to OCD. I'd ritualize by reciting a mantra in my head, and I couldn't talk while doing it. By performing the ritual, I'd remind myself of the intrusive thoughts that caused the ritualization in the first place, repeating the whole thing.
It left me lacking the experience with socialization that everyone else gets just by engaging in conversation, and meant that I couldn't get a job/a girlfriend/friends and so on. I was also made fun of for never talking. Plus, I was constantly stuck in a feedback loop of negative intrusive thoughts, which was torturous.
After high school, I visited a therapist to help myself through that sort of thing (I used writing and text-to-speech to communicate in the beginning), and eventually got more control over that compulsion (and several others).
'Just get some help, bro' is a meme-tier piece of advice, but therapy really is (usually) very helpful for someone with OCD.

What pills help with OCD?

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>>39136058
What you described in your posts does sound a lot like Pure OCD, obsessions with little external compulsions.

https://ocdla.com/obsessionalocd

>>39135714
>Everything I worry about has some basis in reality, but my brain takes everything to extremes.

I experienced this too, most recently like I mentioned here during my worst panic/OCD/anxiety moments last year >>39135762 where things I had never feared before in my life suddenly became things to fear, irrational fears some based on reality but others greatly exaggerated, though it wasn't so much the OCD leading to the anxiety but the elevated anxiety at that time and return of panic attacks leading to worsening OCD I think.

And whats different is I had panic attacks and agoraphobia before that I overcame myself, but last year I experienced for the first time in addition to panic attacks and agoraphobia my OCD making me develop phobias and strong anxiety to the phobias, out of things I never feared before, which this page also explains
https://ocdla.com/phobias

Basically I think my anxiety levels were at such a high and constant elevated state and panic attacks happening so frequently that I started to fear every little thing and every OCD thought coming into my mind fearing it would all give me more panic attacks, the fear of panic attacks leading to more happening and the more things/thoughts triggering them....

The after-effects of those awful few months still remain a little but right now its just agoraphobia that is my main problem, and of course the "normal" levels of pure O type OCD that I've had since childhood, its definitely more under control now, my main source of anxiety and agoraphobia now is the humid and hot summer weather more than anything else. Autumn can't come soon enough.

>>39136058
>negative associations that I can't actually do anything about

So you get them too? Its definitely an OCD thing then, I wish I could know how to get rid of negatively affixed associations,

>>39136661
I wish I could know how to get rid of negatively affixed associations, they've legit ruined some things for me, because I happened to be enjoying something and then my stupud dumb fuck OCD brain decided to think of something unrelated or nasty or plain unwanted and uncomfortable and force that to the top, and then I start to fear that association will stick for good and then don't stop thinking about it and then it does stick, and I legit lose enjoyment and pleasure in some things because of that, and each time I returned to what it was, I remembered the association and it stuck harder and there was no respite.

A self fulfilling prophecy kind of, and I don't know how to get rid of them, songs, movies, etc I avoided for so long because they became associated with whatever negative OCD thought came up at the time. How do you reverse that process even? Undo an association, is it even possible?

I kept wondering that then I came to the realization that its probably because some random but unpleasant association becomes such a big deal that its because of that it sticks and wont fade away, and its probably also why those with OCD have it harder to deal with that than people without it, who might not attribute any care or attention to some random unwanted thought coming up during an activity to the extent that we OCD sufferers do, that may be a key difference between those who suffer from it and those who don't, they are able to let it go and not let it get to them.

Thats my theory anyways.

>have multiple forms of OCD
>would have thoughts about murdering my family and random people everyday
>Other thoughts such as rape, religion and pedophilia would be in my head
>When I had a thought that I wanted to ignore, I'd resort to rituals like closing a door or washing my hands 5 times
>Never told anybody about, but it went away on its own
I got desensitized as a result. Hope you're fighting strong anon.

>>39136284
SSRIS anon

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>>39136767

I'm
>>39136661
>>39136740
>>39135762

I kinda got desensitized especially after realizing what it was, it began with threads about intrusive thoughts/OCD on /v/ years ago and then reading about that, discovering that OCD was not the meme disorder I thought it was as it was popularly portrayed, and that it also had the mental obsessional component to it and then realizing thats what I have.

I suffered with it for maybe several years thinking there was something wrong with me and worrying if I would act on the thoughts until I learned what pure Obsessional OCD was and realizing thats what I have. And also that the constant door lock checking and putting away dangerous things like knives and shit left out because my mind would conjure up ridiculous but anxiety provoking imagery of someone in my family or myself coming to harm by not acting on the compulsion and making sure everything is safe and danger level minimal, I learned that was all OCD too

Learning about it helped to diminish its effects to some degree but as I experienced when my anxiety and panic attacks are at their worst so is my OCD, one begins to feed the other in a negative cycle that last year took me months to break, I never want to experience such mental torment again desu.

>>39136893
>lose your libido
>lose motivation
>lose dopamine

>>39136995
I don't know what else to tell you. Its either that, therapy, alcohol, or weed. That's about it. The choice is yours.

I took them for about 6 months last year, but stopped taking them last september due to side effects. I'm considering restarting taking them again soon however. We'll have to wait and see.

>>39136661
>>39136740
So you get them too? Its definitely an OCD thing then, I wish I could know how to get rid of negatively affixed associations,

It really sucks having something you love or enjoy ruined because of a negative association you just can't put out of your mind.

I have trouble finding things I enjoy or care about in life as it is, but to have the few joys in life I can find taken away because of some horrible thoughts is just devastating.

>>39136995
I don't know about the dopamine aspect, but I wouldn't really mind losing my libido (at this rate I'll die a KHHV anyway and masturbation has basically become a boring chore), and I already have almost zero motivation. Maybe I should give it a try.

>>39137089
>failing to green text a quote two posts in a row

This really bothers me, but it's not as bad as the OCD at least.

>>39136925
I learned about after it went away. I just got used to the thoughts, I lost all motivation to deal with it. I guess being diagnosed with depression at 8 can really lead to some shitty situations. I also had thoughts of accidentally killing my family as well.

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>>39137027
Porn and fapping has been hugely helpful in getting my mind off negative shit and anxiety for a time actually, moreso than I realize. Last year I had anxiety and OCD so intense that I lost my libido and desire to fap and it actually resulted in me feeling worse, because a source of coping was gone and I realized that if this is how I would feel on a regular basis if I was to take SSRI's then maybe it wasn't such a good idea.

Of course too much porn is bad too but I think in moderation it has benefits, its natural sexuality right, now losing that completely due to medication - I don't think I would be able to deal with that, especially with the accounts out there of people losing their libido or having it very diminished permanently, long after taking SSRI's even, and not just libido but everyday enjoyment, because it screws with dopamine or something.

I'm afraid of such a drastic change in personality and functioning, even if taking SSRI's would eventually diminish my OCD. Risk and reward...

>>39136995
I can just take Adderall to make up for loss motivation. As for libido I don't care cause I'm a fucking horn dog who is obsessed with sex

>>39137146
>medicate the negative effects of a medication with more medication

That seems like a bad idea in the long run

>>39137141
For the record, SSRIS generally won't cause a permanent change in libido unless you take them for like 15 years, and even then the odds of that happening are less than 1 %. Usually, within 2-3 months of stopping tops everything will be back to normal. I'm by no means encouraging anyone to take SSRIS. I'm just trying to clear up any misconceptions out there.

>>39137089
>I don't know about the dopamine aspect,

I just remember reading some anons on /r9k/ talking about their experiences with SSRI's and how they lost everyday enjoyment of the little things, and felt more emotionally numbed, as a result.

I don't know if its a rare or common thing with SSRI's but the very possibility is enough to make me very reluctant to try.

>>39137208
Oh I see, but see my OCD makes me think those odds will happen to me, and so it leaves me feeling stuck, the very possibility, however slight is enough to trigger anxiety and avoidance.

Thats just how the OCD functions.

What a pain

>>39137248
I see what you mean.

For the record, the drug I took was Zoloft (200 mg per day, the max dosage). I could answer any questions you have about it.

>>39137325
>I could answer any questions you have about it.

No thats alright, but did it completely cure the OCD for you and long after you stopped taking it?

>>39137325
How is Zoloft? I been looking into that one

>>39137442
works but constant floppy dick

>>39137559
>take whoremoans
>become trap

>>39137559
Has it helped you focus and do things normal?

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>>39137431
For the first two months, it basically stopped everything that was bad, so that was good. After that, it had much less effect, but I was more numb to things in general, so it made coping with things easier. I will say that for like the first 2 weeks on the drug I basically couldn't jerk off at all. Like, I could get hard easily and could do the pre-cum jerking off, but couldn't get to the next level. By the second month on the drug, I could jerk off pretty easily again, though it was slightly more difficult than it had been before.

I was required to take those drugs as a condition for being re-admitted to the my college for the fall semester. To this end, when I decided to stop taking the drugs in September, I did it in secrecy and slowly weaned myself off of the drugs (by taking 50 mg less every 4 days starting from a 200 mg per day dose). While going off the drugs, I felt vey dizzy each day and a bit more distracted in class. However, I also got a big boost in my libido, and within 2 weeks of stopping was able to cum very easily (like it was before I started the drugs, more or less). However, about a month and a half or so after stopping Zoloft, I became so depressed that I left my college before the semester ended (so I didn't get any credits for the semester). I just signed the forms to formally drop out of college like a week ago. I'm planning to attend community college in the fall, and possibly to start taking medications for OCD again. In short, SSRIS only help medicate OCD symptoms while taking them. After you stop taking them, symptoms come back.

However, taking pills can help give you time to learn coping strategies, which you can use when you stop taking the drugs, which is one long-term benefit. However, for me they don't help very much, so it is what it is...

>>39137442
It makes you better able to focus (clearer thoughts) but also makes you more tired. Also, it will decrease the negativity and the speed of your thoughts. It can help with some things, like talking to other people. Overall, its an ok drug.

>>39137630
>In short, SSRIS only help medicate OCD symptoms while taking them. After you stop taking them, symptoms come back.

Well shit.

>However, taking pills can help give you time to learn coping strategies

I see, in my case during what I experienced last year I learned a slew of coping strategies and rediscovered others, like meditation and deep breathing exercises and a lot of spiritual stuff that I put off for years or longer and which I think if I had kept to I wouldn't have been in such a terrible state of mind in the first place.

>got diagnosed with OCD
>get new bad thoughts every year
>new fear has been being high and getting panics from
>been getting this thought every day now for months

Send help

I remember being given bipolar meds like Lithium and it pretty much did nothing for me besides wanna eat a lot

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>>39134046

I look at myself in the mirror too much. I'm attractive and I have an irrational fear that I will become ugly and girls wont like me anymore.
I also look at my ass and legs all the fucking time and have delusions that I look like a woman. This leaded me to crossdress and fap many, many times to it in a very insane way. The feeling of regret and disgust is so intense and it makes me feel more depressed.

Is this OCD?

>>39138062
I don't know. Also, why did you jerk off to crossdressing yourself? I don't understand.

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>Extremely ritualistic about any forms of entertainment I enjoy like music/vidya/movies/tv and only allow myself to enjoy them in very specific scenarios
>Feel like I'm completely ruining them and they won't be special to me anymore if I try to enjoy them under different situations than usual
>When something (e.g. a song) is special to me on some level or I just really like it I can't even think about the song or I feel like I'm ruining it and it'll lose its touch
>Constantly end up having one of these songs stuck in my head and frantically try to flush it out with different thoughts or songs
>Often tormented by uncontrollable intrusive thoughts about traumatic things that have happened to me that I don't like to think about that I have to frantically try to 'flush out' with other thoughts similar to what happens with the songs
>Feel the urge to check if both of my doors are locked throughout the day but nothing too extreme like I usually hear from people diagnosed with OCD

At first when my symptoms started getting bad I assumed it sounded kind of like OCD, but from what I've read on it, it doesn't seem to really line up with either the relentless compulsions of normal OCD and also doesn't sound like Pure-O OCD since I always hear that Pure-O thoughts are generally either unwanted thoughts of harming people or yourself or unwanted sexual thoughts, so I have no fucking clue what's wrong with me. I really just want to be able to play a game I really like without worrying about it being the wrong time of day or having talked to another person too recently, or listen to a song I really like without worrying about being in *just* the right mood and atmosphere so I don't 'ruin the song'. Shit is fucking frustrating.

>>39135762
Its not easy to just ignore thoughts. For me at least I feel a heavy as fuck tiredness in my mind (this is probably depression though) and sometimes when try to ignore intrusive thoughts the tiredness/fatigue becomes more intense. Its like a fight impossible to win. I remember it being much worse when I smoked weed.
Besides how can you tell when a thought is obsessive or it's a real thing you should worry about?

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>>39137442

At the time It helped me a lot in toning down the constant obsessing and compulsing. I also got a lot more enjoyment out of life while on it. However now that I've been off it for a while my quality of life has gone down and my OCD is more noticeable, but It isn't nearly as bad as before I needed to go on the meds. I don't know if this is just because I'm growing out of my OCD or the meds had some positive long term effect on me, but I think it's the latter.

>>39138731
Sounds like something I could use. I'm at work and am fucking having a hard time thinking and focusing without my mind going to obsessions or intrusive thoughts

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>>39134046
>tfw I have to touch everything with my knuckles multiple times
>tfw I count literally everything I do including steps that I take and if I step on a certain material in a number of times that ends in 6 I have to go back and step again
>tfw I barely enjoy vidya anymore because I constantly have to perform rituals midgame and reload at certain save points if I miss my ritual at certain points in time
>tfw it takes me 3 times the amount of time and energy it takes a normal person to do simple tasks because I constantly have to touch everything and graze it with my knuckles
>tfw I constantly feel embarrassed, awkward and humiliated when people catch me doing my weird rituals and I normally don't want to explain anything because I don't know them and it's too time consuming
>tfw my quality of life has been severely depreciated because of something completely out of my control that I never wanted, asked for or deserved
I hate it too anon. I had a period where it was there but somewhat relaxed for a while. The past year and half it's been coming back with a vengeance; almost at the intensity it was at when it first manifested itself. A normal life where I'm not consistently barred from enjoying myself and doing things in a reasonable amount of time because of OCD is a completely foreign concept to me. It's sad to think. I envy everyone without OCD just because they get to live a normal life without being chained down by anything. OCD is almost like a prison.

Hang in there though anon. There's a good chance we might outgrow it, and if not, a cure might be just a few years away. Look into the deep brain stimulation operation. I heard it might help with OCD and Tourette's. My mom was telling me about it and I might try to get it done. I'm desperate for anything at this point because my meds do fuck all except for make me tired and queasy. Good luck with this bro. Stay strong.

>>39138256
I have pure-O OCD and get this stuff too, but maybe not to your extent, lets see-

>only allow myself to enjoy them in very specific scenarios
>Often tormented by uncontrollable intrusive thoughts about traumatic things [....] that I have to frantically try to 'flush out' with other thoughts similar to what happens with the songs
>Feel the urge to check if both of my doors are locked throughout the day

These I have to some degree or another and I think it is from OCD. Because think about it, normal people wouldn't be that bothered by it, or they might feel they need to be in the mood for a song or movie but are able to listen/watch without sometimes, and they also often play the same favorite song over and over, sometimes contuing to do so even when they've listened to it so much they know the lyrics.

I think for me it falls somewhere in between, its not as excessive or pressing an issue but there are times when I feel that way and that I'll avoid a piece of media because feel like I won't be able to enjoy it without the right circumstances, or if my mind is on something negative or unwanted thought then I will worry about that being associated with the song/movie I'm enjoying and so avoid situations where that can happen. Especially when it comes to games, I can be in the right mood for a game I want to play for 1 or 2 days then lose all desire for it even if I haven't played it yet, its weird.

Sounds a lot like pure-O OCD to me, you have to remember OCD is so multi-faceted I'm still thinking about what aspects of my thoughts and thinking patterns are actually caused by my OCD and I just didn't realize it yet. The whole thing about negative unwanted associations is one example that I just recently found words for (thanks to other /r9k/ threads) and once I saw it described like that I realized I have the same thing, then I searched around and found that it was common with OCD.

It all does sound like pure-O OCD to me anon, especially the mental comp

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>>39139202
especially the mental compulsions (flush out with other thoughts) I do that too when intrusive thoughts arise.

Intrusive thoughts dont have to strictly be unwanted harmful/sexual things but can just be unpleasant things or things you don't want to think about that your brain will force right up to the top and not let you not think about them