Public Bathroom Stories

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>walk into public bathroom to piss
>smells like shit
>open stall
>someone took a soda-can size dump and didn't flush
>get horny from the stench and cum

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>>39113323
Vince feel.

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>>39113323
You're a nasty motherfucker anon

>Be me
>Last day of school, going to another school after summer
>HATED that school
>Decide to get my revenge
>Ate chinese food previous day
>Take a shit between te toilet seat and toilet bowl
>Take toilet brush and smear the name of a kid i hated on the wall with shit


I used to be a really nice kid when it came to defecating, I even took a shit in the canals of Venice

Not a public restroom story but its pretty fucking disgusting

>work at walgreens as a stocker
>Lots of homeless people around
>No public restroom
>Homeless guy walks in and asks to use the restroom
>tell him we dont have a public restroom
>says that every walgreens does and asks for a manager
>manager doesn't let him use the employee rest room
>homeless guy says that he will shit in front of our store if we dont let him
>manager tells him to fuck off
>The homeless guy walks out of the store
>a few minutes later he comes back with a bag
>drops a pile of his own shit in front of the door and runs away
>a few minutes later someone slips in it
>laugh for days

I didn't even have to clean it up. We looked at the security camera footage and he literally went around the corner and took a shit in the bag.

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>>39113264
i went to manhattan beach this weekend and someone took a gigantic shit ON the back of the public beach toilet and left it. i dont know how they did it, it was like a bear crap but twice as big

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>>39113264
>Eat Doritos as a kid
>Go to the bathroom with the empty Doritos bag
>Shit and catch a shit with the bag
>throw it at people through my balcony

I was devilish as fuck with excrements

>>39113264
I used to pee all over the seat, the floor, the walls, the flusher, the toilet paper, and in the toilet brush thingy at my school

>commuting to college by BART train
>need to take a shit
>station's men's room toilet seat is, naturally, covered in piss
>squat over the urinal
>drop nuggets cuz poor diet
>giggle throughout the day

Fuck BART

Why are the worst public bathrooms always the fanciest places?
It's like you've entered Hellworld of Silent Hill or something. You'll be in some nice restaurant or some upscale bar, everythings cleaned immaculately, the staff are well dressed and uniformed.

Then you enter the bathroom, no carvings on the door, it's a well polished door and BAM.
ITS A FUCKING SHITHOLE. LITERALLY.

>>39113772
Kek

>>39113909
Double kek

>>39114071
Triple kek

>>39114157
Quadruple kek

>>39114193
Kek

>>39114202
Half kek

>>39113323
honestly kill yourself you fucking degenerate scum

I never piss in toilets. I prefer sinks, drains, outside, or wherever. Plebs

>Not piss racing with your friends outside.

>>39114382
>>39114408
this would be hot if you were femanons

>With friend after school one day
>My mom picks us both up and we go to Walmart
>At check out friend and I go to bathroom
>Friend has to shit but lets me take the only stall
>Can see him through the crack in the door
>He turns around and I see him squat in the urinal
>He tells me he's shitting in the urinal
>I get out and look at his master piece
>We leave the bathroom giggling
>We make up some excuse that we forgot to wash our hands and go back in
>Friend takes paper towel and throws feces on floor
>He starts speaking in Spanish saying it's the shit
>Mom is finishing checking out and we look at the bathroom
>Old guy walks in
>Old guy walks out
>We heard a single "Eww"

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>about 4-5 years ago
>working at a grocery store
>going through the lobby to check for buggies (shopping carts)
>see little brown thing on the ground
>yupthat'spoopooalright
>ignore it, check for buggies, come back
>tell store manager about it
>"anon, go clean it up"
>I'm not cleaning up that shit. I'm unionized and I know what my job description is. You can't make me pick shit off the floor.
>He knows i'm right so he just goes to pick it up himself
>all the managers go upstairs to check the cameras out of curiosity
>turns out some old dude stopped in the middle of the lobby, shook his pant leg a bit and then shook half of his body until the turd nugget fell out
>looked at it and walked off
>the frozen grocery manager comes up to me
>tells me about it and he can't stop laughing
>props me for standing up for myself
>"man, i thought you were just a pussy all this time"
>i just didn't want to get near some other man's shit
>"hahaha you're alright"

Me and that manager became cool after that. Sometimes he would patronize me but I got used to it and just put up with it, because every now and then he would stand up for me. But then again, he would say some shit that would just make me roll my eyes.

Thanks for being like the only person at that store who gave me a chance and helping me talk to more people and becoming 'work-friends' with the rest of the boys, Jeff. You did wonders for me.

>>39113323
Why didn't you use your senses to track down the anon that could into anal fisting and ask for his number?

>>39114668
Clean up on isle 3, poo boy!

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I saw this in detroit

> 2 weeks before school ended
> walks into bathroom
> smells like something if an aids infested sewer monkey and a dead burning old Indian man had a love child
> Walked into one of the stalls
> No fucking joke or exaggeration, the shit this person took was the size of a fucking 6 inch sub
> Shit smeared all over the stall
> In huge writing someone wrote with their finger in the shit "I JUST TOOK THE BIGGEST DUMP AND IT FELT AMAZING"
> horrified i ran out of the bathroom telling no one

> A couple days before school ends
> Everyone knew about the bathroom incident but nobody knew who it was.
> Go to a different bathroom in a different part of the school
> Girl walks in while I wash my hands
> Her and I are the only 2 girls in the bathroom
> I can here her grunting in the stall
> laughter soon after
> Smells awful
> Come to realize this could be the sub sized shit girl
> Walks to sink where i am
> Glanced at her hands
> They're covered in shit
> She smiles at me
> Goes into stall
> Covered in shit once again with the same sub sized shit in the toilet and written on the walls " I JUST TOOK THE BIGGEST DUMP AND IT FELT AMAZING"

I think I might actually still have pictures of the scene on an old iPod.

>>39114668
Newb here. Why does being unionized straighten out your boss?

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>>39113323
I can smell the faggotry from here.

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>be me
>in grade 3
>elementary school
>complete betaboy
>scared of people hearing ploop sound of my shit hitting the water
>waiting for people to leave
>they won't fucking leave
>20 minutes go by
>carefully and quietly lay toilet paper in the water so my poop won't make sound
>really have to poop
>finally got the toilet bowl filled with paper
>thank god
>quietly squish out my poop
>gently take out the paper and quietly wipe my ass
>come out of stall
>teacher is there
>'anon i know what you were doing in there'
>get suspended for masturbating at school
>didn't even know what masturbation was
>from then on known as "orgasm boy"

>>39114980
Because if he tried to force me to do it and then tried to give me shit for not doing it, I could contact the union and the following days, a union rep would show up and they'd have to have a conference with all of us. The rep would make the owner and the manager responsible all have to go through a seminar and I'd have to be there the whole time as well. The union is more powerful than a franchisee or a manager and they can rebuke any decision those guys make and get them in trouble for it, which would go back to the company. It becomes a massive headache for all involved. They'd rather avoid taking anything to the union.

That's why most grocery stores have a cycle of hiring dumb and naive high school kids and getting rid of them by the time they're in college, so they can take advantage of them with both pay (students get paid less than adults) and with forcing them to do things that other people would refuse.

>>39115150
haha orgasm boy

Can someone post the bodybuilding.com thread about then guy who took a shit in a girls shower and she freaked out he drew pictures to go along with it

>>39113264
You should be gassed in an original way.

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>chinese buffet tearing up stomach
>p sure that meat was dog and cat but dgaf drenched in sauce
>need to brutally shit
>padre works at middle school
>lets me in
>speed waddle to restroom
>kick door open
>b line for small as fuck stall
>no time to wipe piss covered seat
>do the move
>shit leaves too early
>ricochets off seat and splatters on to wall
>long fart with diarrhea hitting water
>only solid turd sounds like a cannon firing when it hits
>doing goku yells at this point
>shit like this for 15 straight minutes
>sweating crying gagging
>feel every emotion
>finish
>use the entire roll cleaning up
>turn around to assess damage
>ops pick but on the wall
>perfectly painted on around handle
>gtfo
>school was out and no cams so no witnesses
>find out dads school had massive assembly over this
>called it toilet terrorism lmao
>kids clueless
>1949 middle school dystopia
>restroom privileges fucked for week until parents complained

>>39115192
What's to stop an employer from knowing you're union and not hiring you because of that (but not telling you that is why you weren't hired)? How do union people get hired if bosses foresee potential trouble?

>>39115455
Toilet terrorism wew

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Can't you guys fucking hold it?
I have never used a public bathroom to take a crap.

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>>39115267
Don't call me that
I'm not orgasm boy

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>>39115602
I bet it was the teacher who spread the name

>>39115497
The place I worked at would automatically unionize you if you were hired after 2007. I was hired in 2009, so I had no choice. The employer has a 3 month period where the employee is under probation and can fire them without the union taking part.

I never really needed the union on my side, since I kept my head down and did my job. Most grocery stores don't work like this, because then people can get away with a lot of shit. The union protected people like crazy because every person in the union was paying the union a fee every single week. There are hundreds of thousands of dollars being funneled into the union by employees in the union in a monthly basis. To get automatically fired, you'd have to steal. That was the only thing the union didn't protect people for. Racism? No problem. A manager called this guy a "fucking paki" and the union just said, "come on, man. don't use that kind of language." There was no punishment for racism or getting into heated verbal exchanges. One guy got into a mangers face and said that he would beat the shit out of him, and when the union got involved, they just said that he needs to try to calm down more often.

As far as I'm concerned, the union fucked everything up for us. People were getting away with too much. The older people would do shit that would get them written up and then plea to the union and the write ups would get taken off the records. Every other company you looked at didn't have a union. In hindsight, the union was fucking trash. I must have paid them a few thousand dollars during my stay there.

>>39115657
Fuck, those sound great as an employee. Not so much as an employer (obviously).

>>39115657
As an extension, the vast majority of places don't work like this. For electricians, it takes a few years of work and experience to even apply to the union and then the screening process is difficult. Plus, the applicants need to take tests and such to even get into the union. Also, those unions don't make people invincible like that corrupt one I worked for did. They just provide better pay and insurance/benefits.

The idea of unionized grocery store employees is surreal to me now.

>2 jobs ago
>work in big office building
>whole floor shares one bathroom
>at urinal getting ready to pee one morning
>it's going to be a lot, drank way too much beer yesterday
>random memory of elementary school pops into head
>game we'd play to see who could pee the farthest
>snicker and start letting my golden stream flow
>start inching away from urinal
>arching my stream to hit the drain perfectly
>about seven feet from the urinal
>golden rainbow in full glory reaching from wall to wall
>door opens
>random guy from accounting company next door walks in
>drops his coffee cup in horror and disgust
>I freak out and start flailing the stream everywhere
>he freaks out and runs away
>wall and floor soaked in piss
>hurriedly tuck my dick back into my pants and run back to desk
>use back stairway and 4th floor toilets for remainder of time with the company so as not to run into mr. pencilneck pee peeker

>>39116019
used to do that when younger

>>39115571
I'm so frightened of public restrooms that i shit my pants on the ride home.

at age 23

>>39113264
I worked at a shopping mall, mostly as a food court plastic tray bitch but our jobs also had us clean the washrooms, like the sinks and the floor, but not the toilets and urinals since that was another crew.

It wasn't a crazy busy mall, it was actually fairly small with mostly old people sitting around with scratch tickets. Although it was cool as hell when I was kid there was a busy farmer's market in the parking lot all year round and there was an arcade inside.


Anyways. Even though this mall was dead and mostly old people, there was still empty mini plastic vodka bottles all over the women's washrooms in the little bins meant for used tampons and pads, so then there would be tampons on the floor and shit.

I seriously don't know who was drinking vodka on the toilet, definitely not those 70 year old grandmas I would think, or that 60 year old Hindu woman who ran the jewellery store...

I guess there was a high school not too far from there so maybe underage sluts came in and drank there, who knows.

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>>39115150

Look it's orgasm boy

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This story always cracks me up

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>>39116764
Please don't make me relive that. It was the worst three years of my life. Chad and Stacy always laughed at me and I had no friends.

I was even scared to masturbate, i didn't even jerk off until I was sixteen.

>>39116557
This is also me. I would rather shit my pants before i use a public toilet.

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One time I went on vacation to New York City. It was fucking awful, but something I vividly remember was when I was going to go use the restroom in one of the metro stations, there was vomit fucking EVERYWHERE in a stall.
>in the toilet
>on the toilet
>on the floor
>on the floor in the next stall
>on the walls
>on the other side of the fucking stall door
That was when I decided that I'm never going to a big city ever again.

>>39115571

I have severe IBS. No I fucking can not hold it. When it strikes, I have maybe a handful of minutes before my body gives up.

>enter university bathroom
>check stall
>blast of diarrhea all over the place worse than OP pic
>some blood as well
>discarded underwear in the corner
>wads of toilet paper scattered around as whoever did it made a half hearted attempt at cleanup before giving up

I don't understand how that can happen. I mean sure sometimes you might make contact with the toilet a bit in a dire emergency, but projectile spray on the wall behind the toilet and either side?

>>39113264
I got drunk one time at a Dave and Busters shit on the floor chucked it on mirrors, then a guy walked in as I was shaking my dick around peeing on their bathroom wall while my friend was shitting in their sinks. Was fun times

>>39117029
top fucking wewkeklel

>>39113264
I use to walk around as a kid with group of 3 friends we would go out at night and poop on cars and stuff our shit under car door handles, we would also stick our dicks in car windows and pee in cars at office complexes we would stick our dicks I to the buildings doors where they have mail slots and peep in it.. we would also chm on door handles

>>39113264
I use to shit in socks and throw them into swimming pools over the fence when people would have parties, I would also peep in condoms and toss them at people's pools or sports games.

>>39113264
My friends and I would put ear wrap on public bathroom toilet seats lol also fill the toilet with thickening gel then shit on the floors turn all the sinks on and clog the drains... we mostly did this to a local Jack in the Box

>today at art class thing at hospital
>went to take a pee
>guy said someone pissed on to the toilet paper
>laughed at it took my pee

>>39113264
I would go to the movie theatres and piss on all the toilet paper rolls I could also smear shit on the toilet seats, one time I scraped in the urinal and jerked off on the toilet seat. At Wal-Mart I use to put fiber glass on all the toilet seats it's nice and itchy lol

>>39114293
Went to a high end sushi place with a friend and his Filipino family for his birthday. They had no qualms against spending money.
The bathroom at this place is essentially an open bar, but with toilets. Right across from the ballroom is just a pearloid panel, and then a couple stalls behind it, about two and a half feet wide between the panel and the kitchen wall. It opens to a little cubicle with four toilets separated by another sheet of pearloid. If you're finding it difficult to visualize this in your head, good.
The panel which separated the ballroom from the entrance to the bathroom also included the sinks directly underneath. The problem was that there was an opening of about four inches, from the bottom of the panel and the top of the sink. So while you were washing your hands, you could see the suit jacket tails and cocktail dresses of the people in the ballroom inches away from you. They could see your hands and belt buckle.
It was an experience, to say the least. One of the alternative looking hostesses looked exactly like my ex. I didn't even have to piss, I just needed an excuse to walk past and read her nametag.
The sushi was one of the best meals I've ever had, though.

>>39113264
I have some work stories.

>Working at theater for Ghostbusters
>Family restroom to the left, I'm standing pole
>This girl who looks like she could have been featured on GirlsOutWest walks in
>Off shift 45 minutes later as she exits the restroom

>Box office host comes over to concession
>"Hey, you got a female working back here?"
>"Yeah, why?"
>"There's blood all over the toilet in the women's room."
>Female coworker threw out the mop afterward

>Black female pastor I see occasionally and is quite nice comes to counter
>"Sir, do you have a female coworker back here?"
>Always when she's on shift. Poor girl.
>"Well, there's a little girl in the stall crying, saying 'It hurts, it hurts.'"
>Little girl had gotten sick and vomited, defecated all over toilet and self
>Mother is mortified, coworker sympathetic
>Refill the pastor's popcorn and send her on her way

>Working as usher, walk past men's room
>Think to myself, "the sink is running again."
>Poke my head in
>Scheduling manager is taking a massive piss
>Oh

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>>39115455
>toilet terrorism

>>39113264
>Work in the Walmart Subway
>Go to restroom
>The awful smell hits
>Older lady has obviously shit herself, or shit through depends
>Its all over the handicapped stall floor
>Everyone makes the same disgusted noised, grossed out faces, rude remarks at an obviously embarrassed woman
>1/7 people I saw in there washed their hands
>I tell the lady who's picking her stool off the floor about the actual disgusting people
>She chuckles and apologizes for the accident

>>39118198
Describe in more detail
Almost perfect kek

>>39113772
Oh shit that's smart, I think I'll do that myself

>Be in 3rd grade
>Have to shit really bad during recess
>Run into bathroom and shit
>Dont waste time wiping, go back out
>Come home
>Thick layer of shit caked all over my underwear
>Wonder how I smelled all day
>The shame caused me to wipe till my ass is autistically clean and there isnt even the slightest hint that feces ever came out of my ass

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>>39117117
>Oh? Look who it is! Orgasm boy?
>How pathetic. You just let a small woman push you to the ground, orgasm boy!
>do you like it when I rub my foot on your dick? Cum for me, orgasm boy.
>not enough? Just sit there. I'm going to take off my panties.
>you like it when I rub my bare pussy along your cock, orgasm boy? You want me to put it in?
>heehee, fine then...
>how's my pussy, pathetic orgasm boy? Ready to cum inside me?
>h-h-hahaha! You came inside me, orgasm boy! You really did it! Great job making a baby, orgasm boy! Pathetic!

>>39113264
In junior high some kids used to piss all over the toilet paper. One time I was washing my hands in the bathroom washing my hands and the fat security guard storms out of one of the stalls ranting and swearing about the piss soaked TP and not being able to catch the perpetrators. The whole time imI'm trying my best not to burst out laughing.

>Going to Canada with family
>Stop at restaurant for lunch
>Get bored and go to the bathroom
>Take paper towels out of garbage and cover the inside of a urinal with them
>Kick down garbage and have paper towels fly out everywhere
>5 minutes after I finish dad goes in
>Asks if I saw the mess
>Uh... Yeah
>Tell sister about it
>She holds it above my head for the whole trip
>She never tells

Redpill me on bidets

>>39118636
I've visited europe and japan. I want one. It feels great and they get your butthole nice and clean

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>be in camp
>had to piss
>go to the single washroom in the whole camp
>one of the few toilets was filled with shit
>the other toilets were just dirty and nasty looking
>the urinals were in use so they weren't available
>decide to pee in the sink but couldn't reach
>pee in the trash can instead
>leave
and no one stopped me, or even dared to.

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>work retail
>the women's restroom is always 100% more filthy than the men's
There's a reason your mom constantly complains about dirty public restrooms. Because women don't even give a fuck about other women. The worst it can be in a men's room is a bit of piss under the urinal.

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>Pre-school
>Around 6 years old
>Waiting for dad to come pick me up
>Need to take a poop
>There's only one toilet
>Get in, start doing my business
>Start wiping my ass, which I do THOROUGHLY
>Hear someone knock
>Another kid needs to go
>Really needs to go
>Tells me to hurry up
>Panic
>Hastily wipe ass for the 5th time or so
>Look at paper
>Still lots of shit left
>Keep wiping
>More knocking on the door
>The kid is now desperate
>There's still shit on the paper
>Using so much paper I'm worried about clogging the toilet(this has happened)
>Knocking on the door
>The kid's mom is there
>She sounds angry
>I'm really scared now
>I still have to wipe me ass
>I can hear the kid crying outside
>Finally there's no trace of poo on the paper
>Flush again
>Wash hands
>Get out
>Get fucking yelled at by the mother
>''WE HEARD YOU FLUSH WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!''
>The kid had pissed himself and is crying
>I almost start crying myself
>Don't understand what I did wrong
>Get traumatized and can never use toilet unless I know there's absolutely no one waiting to use it after me
I don't understand people who say they only need one or two squares of paper to wipe their ass. I need at the very least 10. I've always used several squares. I look at the wipe and if there's shit left, I keep wiping. What the fuck?

>>39118447
Kek oregaboo

>>39113264
>on a job site with friend to drop off shit to his dad
>had to take a shit really bad
>go in to port-o-potty and see a literal mountain of shit rising above seat
>wonder to myself is it worth going
>who would continue to shit on this growing pile
>no time to think gotta shit
>go in the urinal

So glad I never worked construction, he said it was really common for job sites to not have enough for the crew so they would overflow frequently

>>39118944
>Not taking a shower after you poop to make sure your boy pussy is in top cleanliness order all the time

>>39115150
>grade 3
>masturbating

You haven't even hit puberty let alone know how to masturbate what the fuck? This reeks of bs.

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>>39114071
>never pooping to the calming sounds of the ocean

just gonna leave this here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PApus33bRMI

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>>39118447
Stop. Megumin is not a bully.

>>39118666
kek, 666 trips confirm

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>>39113264
>Be me
>Preschool
>Mom always telling me how dirty public sinks, water fountains, and bathrooms are
>Deathly afraid of touching anything in the bathroom
>Have to shit really bad
>Go to bathroom
>Don't sit on toilet because the germs would kill me
>idea.jpg
>Shit in hand instead
>Shit comes out in logs, works perfectly
>genius.mkv
>Drop poop logs in toilet
>Wipe ass with toilet paper, wash hands with life-saving soap and leave
>Teacher makes me come pick up the toilet paper later because I was afraid to touch toilet handle
>Learns I shit in my hand
>Not Indian

>>39119252
You underestimate the putrid retardedness of elementary teachers against young boys

>>39114927
POST THE PICS FOR GOODNESS SAKE, ANON.

>>39115571
When you gotta go you gotta go. I can hold for an additional hour or two if I really have to, but it gives me shivers, cold sweats, and intense pain. Better to just shit at that point. Got over my fear of public bathrooms real quick when living in the dorms at university and private bathrooms didn't exist

>>39120156
It's obviously LARPing.

>>39113264
>see pic.

Nigga...really?

>>39115571
I take a huge shit in the morning and sometimes at night so I never even have to crap in public restrooms.

>>39113772
>>39114193
What kind of school bathroom has a toilet brush?

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>be me
>live in a small country with mandatory national service at age 18
>serving my 2 years of service now
>assigned double job- clerk+vehicle driver, crazy busy.
>halfway through busy day when
>regimental sergeant major (RSM) calls everyone to one specific toilet
>wait outside toilet for 15mins with everyone
>noone knows what's going on
>RSM appears and gathers us at open area
>"the reason I've gathered you here today is somebody, ... SOME JOKER, decided to SHIT in A SHOWER CUBICLE."
>everyone simultaneously wtfs
>investigation is carried out and half a day is burned.

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>>39113264
>Be in 3rd grade
>Go to bathroom alone in empty hallway
>First black person I've ever seen comes out of the special ed class and runs down the hallway screaming
>Have not changed my opinion on them since.

>Later in high school peeing in the urinal
>Same kid probably
>Runs right up next to me screaming nigger over and over again.
>Pulls his pants down to his ankles and starts pissing while still screaming nigger.

>>39118944
People who use two squares are the people who get shit-stains

>>39113264
I found a used condom in a Wal-mart stall, skeet and all

>>39114202
Jesus no wonder San Francisco is so nasty even the locals couldn't give a shit about keeping it clean

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>>39113264

I posted this from a different thread, but I'll put it over here.

> Be me, on roadtrip to grandparents' house in Carolinas
> Drove from NY to Virginia to take a rest stop
> Go to this Best Western
> Day that we go back on the road we get the breakfast there
> Buffet style breakfast, with bagels, pancakes, whatever you want.
> Notice waffle iron along with various toppings.
> Get crafty, create chocolate chip waffles.
> I'm a fast eater, so I almost inhaled the waffles.
> 25 minutes later, ready to hit the road.
> Looks to be a soothing car trip.
> 15 minutes into trip, start to get stomach pains.
> These aren't even the regular stomach pains, this was absolutely gut-wrenching.
> Stomach feels like it's being sliced by a dull serrated knife.
> Curl up in fetal position to stop the gut-wrenching pains.
> Ask dad when is the next exit.
> "15 miles."
> Jesus Christ
> Trying with all my might to not shit myself.
> Get off highway and onto exit.
> Every light we face is red.
> My asshole is clenched to maximum capacity.
> Reach Wendy's that is somehow open in the morning.
> Don't even ask questions, just run to bathroom.
> Employees look dumbfounded.
> Attempt to get to restroom as fast as I can without shitting myself.
> Don't even try to make a toilet nest, all I want is to release the shit.
> Even before my ass hits the seat, the Fat Man has already been released.
> Asshole feels like an erupting Yellowstone geyser.
> Take 5 minutes to recuperate.
> Go through whole roll of toilet paper, need to reach over to next stall for more.
> Get back in car, completely shook.

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>>39113323
Holy fuck this is a new low for even /r9k/
Get fucking help dude.

Once I went into the stall and pissed on the floor.
The sensation of power I felt in that moment was intoxicating.

>Christmas vacation 2011
>17 years old
>go to Tennessee for some reason
>at a fucking outlet mall during a goddamn vacation
>father, brother, and me go to men's bathroom
>four of us in the room: dad using urinal, some random guy in stall, brother and I waiting to piss
>stall-guy leaves, I go in
>start pissing all over the seat and laughing out loud, shouting to my brother "Dude, I'm peeing all over the place!"
>exit stall after washing hands
>there's only some other man and his toddler son standing there
>shrug and say something like "Careful, someone messed up the stall" and walk away
Felt a little bad desu. Mad props to my brother who left the bathroom as the other people were coming in. I don't remember well, but I think he might have said something about exiting the bathroom in order to cover up the entrance of the other guy and his son, so as to set me up

>4th grade
>pissed on the toilet paper rolls once or twice every week for no particular reason
>eventually an assembly is held and the principle asks who ever is doing it to step up to get them some mental help and they won't get in trouble for it
>don't reveal myself but stop doing anything like that altogether

Looking back, I think I would be in a better place now if I got help for whatever was troubling me.

If any of you was shitting in a stall, heard someone walk in the bathroom, gag, retch and run out because it stunk like hell, that was me.

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>be in 6th grade
>go in bathroom on 2nd floor during recess
>a window is open overlooking the quad
>have an empty Powerade bottle with label taken off
>fill it with bright yellow piss
>toss it out the window with no gap
>hear girls screaming
>go to my next class and hide my evil grin

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>>39114071
They probably squat like this.

>>39118944
I completely sympathize with you. Same exact way myself and constantly get yelled at for taking 5ever long shit because of it. Idgaf though, I like not having nicotine stains in my drawers.

My only story though is from high school when I would occasionally run into some of the future NEET types gathering together to fill soap dispensers up with their piss near the choir/drama class/theater kids bathroom during lunch.
Never said anything though as I saw it to be a just act as I fucking hated the faggoty acting/drama types in my school.
Dealt them a lot because I was a band kid and they always came across as hyper dramatic super libtards with rediculously pompous attitudes at every possible time. That end of our school's arts department wasn't even well respected in our region either but they always had this holier than thou attitude to anybody outside their circles. Always loved the idea of these uppity faglords washing their hands in piss every day. Even better now that most of them have squandered the last 4 or so years of their lives on pointless liberal arts degrees (and/or gender reassignment shit in a couple cases) and are now hopelessly in debt with no meaningful employment.

>>39122336
>locals
Its the fucking hobos that ruin public restrooms and those inside markets and restaurants to the point where they are all closed or locked, so ordinary law abiding citizens have nowhere to piss. I literally choose to pee in my pants sometimes if I'm in an urban area and there's no public toilet and nowhere to hide. Its still public urination I guess but I seriously doubt any cop would arrest me or person call cops on me for peeing in my pants as opposed to having my dick out.

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> At Universal Studios Volcano Bay (Waterpark)
> Walking with friend over to a ride
> I'm walking behind him
> I see a green shape on the floor that he's about to step on but it's too late
> He slips on it and slides on the ground
> The green shape was some nasty little shit the size of a corndog
> He gets up and turns around
> An Italian man points at him and screams to his family, NO! BAD LUCK!
> This screaming Italian man alerts the horde of visitors to our location
> Everyone within 15 feet is making a nasty face at the perfectly laid turd on the ground, which has a trail leading to my friend
> There's also water spraying on the sides of the ground, so the water is also spreading the shit around
> We awkwardly get away as fast as we could and he rinses his foot off for 10 minutes

>>39120568
This.
>wake up
>eat
>always have to shit within 15 minutes of eating
>shit and take a shower after
>don't worry about having to shit until tomorrow

>>39119252
I started mastutbating in preschool desu

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>>39124429
Why am I seeing JoJo stuff everywhere after starting on the series?

>>39124607
It's the origional work of an enemy stand

>>39124354
What? You peer your pants on purpose?

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>>39113323
jesus whut!?

>>39125031
I don't purposely get stuck somewhere with no bathroom around and nowhere to piss openly without people seeing, but if it happens I'd rather just piss in my pants that risk being put on a sex offender registry for public urination. This is a literal first world problem. India and China don't have enough toilets in people's homes so they have ot run out to the street to shit, in America and UK you get arrested for just taking a piss outside.

>>39124309
That looks unnatrual. His back is all hunched and he leans too far forward. Also his feet ar positioned really weird.

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>>39124607
Maybe your mind likes Jojo so much you unconsciously see Jojo pictures everywhere

>or it's a enemy [ S T A N D ]

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>new office job
>been working night shift for so long I am socially inept
>haven't seen an auto flushing toilet at a workplace before
>6th week of work
>guts start bubbling, ass
hurts
>rush to bathroom with the wifi (half these bathrooms have it, half don't)
>the extra distance to get wifi bathroom puts me on the molecular edge of shitting my pants
>ass erupts the microscond cells from my skin hit the toilet seat
>ass turns inside out, I feel like a F16 taking off
>as I'm recovering, I finally notice a dude in the stall next to me
>stealth mode, wipe with paper towel because work tp is awful
>as previously mentioned, be new to auto flushers
>this toilet flushes super fucking intense as I just stand up
>shit water flies out of the bowl on impact
>flies into the next stall all over the dude next to me's shoes
>hear him go "what... The... FUCK"
>yank pants up
>don't wash hands
>bolt
>change shoes
>never used that shitter again

>>39115627
>>39118171
ISSOU LA CHANCLA

When I was a kid I used (I say 'used' I could probably still do it now I just haven't tried in years) to be able to piss really high and far by pissing a little, increasing pressure and doing that incrementally until I basically had a pressure washer for a dick.

When I'd go to the urinal in school (one of the big ones, not separate) we would have pissing contests to see who would could get furthest up the wall. I would win no contest everytime because I'd be able to reach the fucking ceiling, causing piss to drip down all day and eventually cause stains to form. I'm surprised we didn't get caught seeing as we were all pissing all over the walls multiple times a day everyday.

I wonder if there are still stains there now or if they repainted.

>>39126895
That is literally a Paul Jennings short story. "Little Squirt" I think its called.
>He blows his top. He hits the roof. But not in the same way I do.

>>39114432
this gave me a goo idea: femanon piss wars and piss wrestling.

>>39115150
putting toilet paper in the surface of the water takes the sound away. thank me later. just dont plug the thing up

>last year of elementary school
>on camp with the whole class
>last day of camp has arrived
>have to take a shit, disregard it
>come to the city where we were allowed to walk around in for the last hour
>need to take a shit intensifies
>try to find a toilet
>find a toilet that exactly looks like a fucking elevator, doors included
>doors of the shitter would automatically open within 15 minutes
>get ready to take a shit
>friend makes a joke as the big metal sliding door closed
>friend makes another joke when i take my pants down
>shit out of laughter before i could even sit down on the toilet
>shit on the floor, and in my underwear
>try to clean it up, shit falls on the ground again
>whatever.jpg
>wash my hands and realize there is no soap
>leave the bathroom and show my friend what i accomplished
Teachers werent too happy but everybody else found it funny

>>39116019
i still do this ahhahahah

>>39118921
Women are retarded and gross. They have a fear of public toilet seats being dirty so rather than sit on the toilet and keeping the seat clean they stand above the toilet and just piss and shit all over it thus making it filthy. They also find their own periods gross so when they take out their tampons or remove their pads they want to get rid of them immediately and just drop them straight away on the floor. They are irresponsible and disgusting and would never admit to being so vile. Then they expect you to not only find them cute and attractive but also to worship and pay them because they were born with dirty bloody piss holes instead of a nice neat penis.

>>39116557
same hear never use them. even go home during breaks to use the toilet.

>>39118636
wipe until clean with toilet paper, wash fingers, small amount of soap on fingers and apply around and on bumhole, wash using handheld watergun/bidet. nice and clean. confident.

>>39119109
nice to hear im not the only one

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>>39118121
>Family restroom

What the absolute fuck?

>>39113264
>go to public bathroom
>every toilet seems to be unflushed and has paper, piss, or shit inside
>finally find a "clean" toilet
>use it
The flush buttons were on a wall instead of the back of the seat and this is probably why most people didn't flush.

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Happened last week. Still processing how I feel. Think a new fetish is coming on.

>Be me, 30 year old retail employee.
>Mom usually makes breakfast and lunch for me before I start afternoon shift, but is away on vacation.
>Have to feed myself.
>Start day with chorizo and lots of fried eggs with mayo mixed in.
>For lunch, 2 cans of chili and a can of sardines.
>Get to work, start feeling a huge gas bubble, but keep working.
>Suddenly feel intestines stretching to their limit and what feels like turtling from my ass.
>ofuk.wav
>Beeline waddle to the public bathroom since its close, sweat on my brow.
>Don't quite make it to the stall.
>Reeking concoction of sulfuric eggs, chili, and sardines erupts from my quivering sphincter.
>Pools in my khakis since I decided to go commando today.
>The heat of the free flowing shit excites my quivering sphincter and prostate.
>moaning.mp3
>Autistically think pulling off my pants to save them is a good idea so I can still work.
>Pull them down, causing my shit to projectile launch 4 feet behind me.
>Lose balance and fall face first into the piss-covered floor in front of the stall.
>The smell of my fishy, eggy shit combined with the piss is revolting but stimulating.
>The cold urine soaked floor feels good on my dick.
>End up cumming due to all the simultaneous stimuli.
>Large load of about 6 ropes of skeet pools under me.
>Meanwhile my spasming prostate causes another wave of diarrhea to burble across my back.
>Customer walks in, screams.
>Runs out while I just lay in piss, shit, and semen.
>Manager comes in to investigate.
>I have no standards so I start thrashing around and pretend I'm having a seizure.
>Get rescued by brave, strong EMTs and get a week of paid time off and several get well soon cards.
>mfw

>>39118447
If this is actually your fetish you deserve to be laughed at in public wherever you'll go!

>>39119109
>>39128452
muh niggus

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>at work
>old lady walks in asks where the restrooms are
>goes into men's room
>walks out a little while later
>tells boss "sowee, i used the men's room because that one is ok to mess up more" and leaves
>boss glances in bathroom
>sighs, puts up the out of order sign, calls maintaince

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>>39128405
I still think the superior method is
>bring in own tissue paper
>wet one piece over basin
>poop
>wipe ass with wet piece
>dry with another dry piece

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>>39129296
>Wipe ass with wet piece
Let me guess you also pee sitting ?
Faggot.

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>>39129328
Allow me to speak in your tongue.
Ahem...

"nigger u wot"

>be me
>new to school
>from israel
>school in america
>am the foriegn kid
>need to take a shit.
>rush to the toilet.
>mega dump
>walk out
>ask the girl there why she is in the men's room
>she says it the girls room
>i go out and check
>she comes
>she was right
>she giggles
>i appologize
>she laughs harder
Later
>i walk past a group of girls
>she giggles
Later
>Walk past the group
>they all giggle
>am stunned
>one girls ask if i really did it
> i begg them not to tell the teacher
Next day
> i got to the bathroom
>one girl says make sure you go to the right bathroom
>everyone laughs
>even the teacher
> cant live it down for the rest of the year

>>39117029
>/fit/ autism.jpg

>>39124211
>not filling a balloon with piss instead and tossing it in like a grenade
silly

>>39115192
Unions are fucking cancer. Fuck off Anon. But funny story tho lol

>>39113264
>go to beach with friend
>both 18
>late at night and friend though 1/5th of whiskey
>down whole thing with friend
>go into public restroom on beach
>need to piss and start thinking about "funny things"
>think to self "I wonder why people poss all over the bathroom"
>come to conclusion it is because it is hilarious
>piss all over toilet paper, paper towels and basically everywhere that isn't a drain or inside the toilet
>walk back to,friend, watch guy go into bathroom couple of minutes after me
>he runs out after a couple seconds and pukes on the beach
>next day walking to work and see the men's bathroom on that section of the beach is locked up and closed

>>39115150
Im sure elementary school kids dont know what the word orgasm means you fucking faker

>>39117029
lmfao oh my god

>>39128533
It has a changing station for little kids, and some disability access for ADA compliance. I'm supposing this translates to "gender neutral," too.

Does anyone have the double-decker greentext? It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Shit legend.

>>39130601
drink petrol
the destruction of unions is a major reason that wages have stagnated to hell

>>39133099
>live in Oregon
>in a couple years I'll be making 15 dollars flipping burgers at mcdonalds, and still putting your order together wrong on purpose

>>39133533
don't think oxford PPE graduates spend too much time in oregon desu

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>>39128586
>tfw got rock hard reading this one

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>at school
>go to the bathroom
>walk inside the toilet stall
>there is a plastic, tupaware box in the toilet bowl
>no lid
>giant turd inside it
Not exactly shit all over the floor but still a shock and pretty grim.
Then there was the time I was younger and went to a public swimming baths only to find that somebody had emptied their throat out onto the changing room floor. There was literally spit everywhere.
Purely disrespectful and needless to say, fucking stomach turning.