"It's time you aimed high, Champ. I didn't raise

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*posts your resume in the break room for everyone to laugh at*

>>39082274
Dad cant i just get inheritance early

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>>39082505

"Excuses are for quitters, Champ. And I didn't raise a quitter. Getting a job will allow you to do all those things you've always wanted to do, like saving for a rainy day. And getting a job is as easy as walking in and asking to speak with the manager. Stand up straight, maintain eye contact, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they've ever made. You'll have a lot of money when you get your first paycheck, Champ."

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"Champ, put that game on pause. We need to talk. Your mother and I have been getting worried about you. You've been sitting here in your room doing nothing for the last three years, Champ. You're wasting your life."

"That ends today, Champ. I'm driving you around town to look for a job, and we're not turning around until someone hires you on the spot. Don't gimme that look, little buddy. Your mother and I are doing this because we care, Champ. And no one else will. Getting a job is as easy as walking in and asking to speak with the manager. Stand up straight, maintain eye contact, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they've ever made. Get dressed, print out several copies of your resume, and meet me in the car."

this is too much work for me.

Wondering how Mr. Dad here would react if his failure of a son actually manned up, shook the manager's hand, looked him straight in the eye, and got an "I'll let you know if you've been hired in a week" and then never hear from them again from every single one of them.

Please stop gambilng away your life savings. How am I going to stay neet forever?

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>>39083654
"Then we'll drive around and try somewhere else, Champ. What've you got to lose? Stand up straight, maintain eye contact with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they've ever made. It's as simple as that, Champ."

>>39083669
>driving around with your dad for eternity
At least it won't be so bad if you're old enough to go to the pub together afterwards.

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>>39083687
"Whoa, slow down, Slugger. No alcohol. And no caffeine, either. Caffeine makes you nervous and antsy. I need you focused. FOCUSED like a laser beam on giving him firm handshakes. That, and caffeine's bad for the heart. I read it in a magazine. Venti regular, double shot espresso, and a grande cold brew for me, and a tall decaf for you, Champ."

"While we're here, you might wanna ask that manager over there to see if he's hiring. Stand up straight, maintain eye contact with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they've ever made. He won't bite, Champ."

are there people who use the term "champ" unironically these days

even for a boomer it seems a bit too much

>>39082274

I know this is meme but do some fathers actually call their son "champ"? The thought seems so foreing to me. The only context I can imagine it happening in is if my father was literally the Green Goblin.

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>>39082274
That guy with his son again? Are they going to come here everyday?
>before I've had my coffee

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>>39083798
"G-good morning, s-sir... My n-name is A-anon, and I-I... was wondering if you were h-hiring..."

*extends hand slowly and nervously*

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>>39083849
do not talk to me before I had my first cup of coffee

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>>39083849
Hi, anon, I'm the HR manager.

You have to apply online.

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>>39083952
"M-m'aam, please. I really need this job. M-my dad's outside waiting in the car, and... he's gonna kill me if I don't get it."
*extends hand nervously*

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>>39084039
*sighs*
ok
*grabs your resume*
*turns around without shaking your hand*
*walks away*

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>look guys, they did it again
*room bursts into laughter*

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>>39084234
topkek

"And get this guys: That maroon bothered to write "task-oriented," "punctual," and "reliable" on his resume. Bwahahahahaah!"

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*incessant buzzing*

>>39083732
Think it's an old white people thing. But I have a good job and I'm Asian, so what do I know

>>39084928
"It's time you aimed high, Champ. I didn't raise my Champ to settle for second best, which is why you're going to apply at this place and land the job. And you will land the job, Champ. You can do anything with a little confidence and a firm handshake."

"Whaddya mean you've gotta apply online and have three years of experience in Javanese moon-rune excavation projects? And whaddya mean that everybody's staring because I'm driving you around town to look for a job? Champ, I know just how badly you wanna be with your 'way-foo' from those Atari computer games, but that's the biggest crock I've ever heard. When I was your age, I rucked through the worst snowstorm in state history to get to an interview when my Mustang wouldn't start. They've even got a photo of me in the local paper. The manager was so impressed that he shook my hand and hired me right on the spot. I nearly froze to death out there in the driving snow, so you've got it pretty easy compared to me, Champ. Where there's a will, there's a way."

"You've just gotta get outta that shell of yours, speak with the manager about the job, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they've ever made."

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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These posts is so relatable I can literally feel the anxiety

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>>39084972
Herro, grandson. Doctor, engineer, or erawyer?

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Well robots?

Origmanoosh

>>39085141
Accept that he's the right man for the job and hire him right on the spot.

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Hey Champ, stopped by Barnes & Noble on the way home. Got you a little present. I want you to read at least five chapters a day. Talked to Rita in HR at the office today, she's coming over for dinner Thursday. She wants to sit down with you and take a look at your resume, give you a few pointers, Champ. Make sure you dress like you're going in for an interview. Button-down, tie, all that. Gotta start dressing for the job you want, Champ. There's this job fair downtown Saturday morning. Be up at 8 AM sharp.

>>39085176
Fuck, this one is good.
>forced to meet with someone from HR who will criticize you in your own home
>having to prepare mentally for it
>don't even get to rest after that because dad's taking you to the fair with high expectations
I have a job and it still made me feel anxious

Nah. Fuck off, m9.

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"So they took your application, then, Champ? Did you remember to give a firm handshake? Well, we're not gonna sit on our thumbs and wait for 'em to respond, Champ. It's all about grabbing life by the tail and making that first move."

"Don't gimme that look, Champ. What if they don't call back? What if they hire you, but they don't give you enough hours? At least here, you'll have something to fall back on. And remember: Two jobs is better than one. Getting one is as simple as speaking with the manager about the job, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you'll be the best hire they've ever made. It's as simple as that."

>>39082274
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME, OP? I DON'T EVEN HAVE A DAD.

Remember, always do a follow up call Champ.

Thinking about actually applying all of these tips in real life. It's probably an awful idea.

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When did /r9k/ turn into fucking dadville?

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>>39085822
"An awful idea to whom, Champ? All you've gotta do is crawl outta that thick shell of yours, speak with the manager about the job, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they've ever made. Can never go wrong with the firm handshake."

>>39083598
DAD THIS IS A MULTIPLAYER GAME I CAN'T PAUSE IT!!! CAN WE GO TOMORROW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASSSEEE

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>>39086029
"Multiplayer, schmultiplayer, Champ. All those little sprites will be there when you come back. And no, getting a job can't wait any longer, Champ. Your mother and I and worried about you; you've spent the last three years in front of that idiot box doing nothing. You're wasting the best years of your life."

"Well, we're gonna fix that by driving you around town to look for a job -- and we won't stop until someone hires you right on the spot. Walk in and ask to speak with the manager. Stand up straight, maintain eye contact, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they've ever made. It's that simple, Champ."

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>>39086102
b-but.... i dont wanna....

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ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS FOLLOW MY ADVICE AND SHAKE HIS DAMN HAND, CHAMP!

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>>39085485

"There's nothing about your attitude that a 40-hour work week couldn't fix, Champ. Getting a job will cure what ails you. And all you've gotta do to get one is speak with the manager about the job, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they've ever made. I raised a Champ, not a quitter."

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I want dadposting to stop.

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>Anon, din-dins are ready

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>>39087112
"Your mother and I aren't gonna be around to take care of you forever, Champ. We're doing this because we care about you, and no one else does. Now, getting a job is a part of growing up. Everyone works, Champ. Besides, it'll allow you to do all those things you've always wanted to do -- like saving money for a rainy day. When I was your age, I put myself through school, supported the family, bought two houses, three cars, and our summer vacationer up in Nantucket, so I expect a lot more from you than excuses and pouting, Champ."

"All you've gotta do is show up there and ask to speak with the manager. Stand up straight, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they've ever made. We know you're smart and talented, but you just need a kick in the butt to get you going."

>>39086972
please fuck off dad get out of my room!

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"C'mon, son, you're not-a bad looking young man. Just put on a nice pair of jeans. Buy some nice trainers. Do your hair up. Go out to the pub with your mates and have a little faith in yourself. What do you mean you don't have any friends? It's easy, lad. Just go find a group of boys your age playing footie and join in. The beautiful game'll do the rest. WHAT DO YOU FOOKIN MEAN YOU DON'T LIKE FOOTBALL? GET THE FOOK OUTTA ME HOUSE YE LITTLE CUNT BASTARD"

> This thread

YAMERO

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>>39087368
"Get in the car so we can drive you around town to look for a job, Shinji."

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>tfw my dad lost his job recently
>tfw he applies in person all the time despite my advice not to
>No one has called him for interview
>He is puzzled by this
>mfw karma is fucking him in the ass

>>39086629
>"All you had to do was cook, Jesse!"

This thread reminds me of when I was studying for an accountancy degree and all the dick sucking and ass kissing I was expected to do in order to get an internship.

I'm very glad I left and got into a field that isn't so cuckolded.

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>>39082274
Dad aren't you seeing this? The guy is green Dad, GREEN! Let's just get the hell out of here. I don't want to work for some frog man. He's probably deranged.

>>39087646
Call him champ and tell him to do the Texas tuck and to give them a firm handshake

>>39087777
those are some mighty fine quads my dude

>>39083729
Dad last time I told the manager that I didn't drink coffee and he said he didn't think I'd be a good fit.

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"Heya, Champ. I ran into your old friend Chad, you know the one who played on the football team and called you all those names? Boys will be boys, I guess, but he now runs the department in the building across from mine, and he left in a Porsche with a girl who looked suspiciously like the one smokin' brunette you liked to call 'Wunnaytis.'"

"Well, anyway, Chad was asking about you and how you were doing. I asked him if he could get you a job either down at the gift shop or the mail room. He said he'll look into it. This could be your big break, Champ. The guy has connections all over the place."

>>39087784
Tip to robots: get into a unionized job, one where you aren't just a disposable slave to middle management.

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Dad I've never had a job before I don't even know what to do to fit into that mindset. Besides, I know you want the best for me but please listen to me, pay attention: Your understanding of how employment works is outdated. Nowadays applying in person is not the way to go, you have to send you resumes online and wait for someone to call you for an interview. Besides, due to inflation and shifts in the economy and the housing market, it's much harder to afford a house and education (especially at the same time) unless you have a pretty good job and are making a lot of money, or have help from someone else, or decide to rent a cheap studio apartment. Also, because most people these days go to college anyways, everyone has a degree and the market is extremely competitive in terms of qualifications AND experience. Please listen to me dad and don't undermine me by not taking my feelings and what I've told you into consideration. Please digest what I said and don't brush it aside, dad. I feel like you don't care and don't listen to me, just please listen!!

Also, I'm too anxious to drive or talk to girls. the Modern dating scene is much different and women have WAAAY higher standards. A bellow average guy like me has no chance with any girl until I'm older and they just want a guy to provide for them and I ain't no schmuck who'd settle for that, dad.

Are you listening to me? Please acknowledge what I'm saying!!

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I turned myelf into a pickel champ!
I'm pickel dad!

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>>39088061
"Excuses never got anyone anywhere, Champ. When I was your age, I rucked through the worst snowstorm in state history to get to the interview down at the factory when my Mustang wouldn't start. They've even got a photo of me in the local paper. The manager was so impressed that he shook my hand and hired me right on the spot. Yep, I put myself through school, supported the family, bought two houses, three cars, and our summer vacationer up in Nantucket, so I expect a lot more from you than excuses and pouting, Champ. It's as easy as standing up straight, speaking with the manager about the job, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you'll be the best hire they've ever made. Never hurts to try, Champ."

"And what dating scene are you talking about, Champ? Women want someone who'll provide for them, so they'll practically be chasing you once you get your first paycheck."

>>39088149
a daring synthesist

Are these threads ironic or post-ironic?

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>>39088166

DAD YOU COMPLETELY IGNORED EVERYTHING I SAID YOU NEVER ACKNOWLEDGE ME IT'S LIKE I'M NOT EVEN HERE FUCK THIS DAD I'M GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT, SORRY I WASN'T YOUR PERFECT SON, MAYBE IF YOU HAD FUCKING LISTENED TO ME THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED

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I think of all the things I've read and seen over the past 10 years of 4chan, dadposting makes me the most anxious and uncomfortable.

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>>39088227
"Raise the LCL compression level to maximum. We don't have time to deal with these tantrums."

>>39088227
Anybody got the pic of the girl doing pic related while eating ice cream? It's captioned with "good shit" I think.

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>>39083887
Cup of Joe.

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Make sure you take the pledge, Champ.

>>39088246
For some reason dadposting makes me actually get sort of angry and frustrated
I think it's because they generally post the same thing over and over again and it's like dealing with a real person who won't ducking get the picture

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>>39088342
I think this is what you're talkin about anon

>>39088664
You hit it right on the head. Boomers won't change their mind, regardless of how many facts you present.

>>39088752
I feel like I lucked out with boomers in my life because my grandparents generally don't have "the boomer attitude" i.e. "I worked washing dishes and I managed to own a home and 2 cars" since my grandpa was in the military for 20 years and actually fought in Vietnam, but I cannot imagine how others must feel when conversing with boomers

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>2017
>having a weak hand shake

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"Pep, I'd like you to meet my boy. Go ahead, Champ: Shake his hand. But only after he finishes that coffee, Champ. Pep, he's smart when he wants to be, but he just needs a kick in the bum every now and then to get him going. Spends too much time in front of the computer, and I figure it's high time he got a job. Think he can help out around here, sweeping floors and learning the trade?"

>>39087319
Sean shut up you are dead.

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"Champ, I know you're down in the dumps over going to Guangzhou, but it'll give you an opportunity to meet new people and live a normal life again. Who knows? You may even find a job and someone special out there. You've thought about it enough, Champ. Now it's time to start livin'. Remember to greet your grandparents by shaking their hands and bowing to them in humble gratitude, Champ. You can ask them to buy you a new computer once you've gotten settled."

God this thread sure hurts a lot to read

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Psst. You try applyin' here yet?

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IN PURSUIT OF GOOD JOB, PURSUIT OF GOOD JOB

YOU MAKE MEET MANAGER AND SHAKE HAND, MEET MANAGER AND SHAKE HAND

>>39086972
>I raised a Champ, not a quitter.

Too bad Dad. Because I'm quitting. Right now. As in, shooting myself in the head.

I'm quitting life.

Later suckers. BANG

Dad I'm going to fucking shoot up the school and kill you, mom and myself. No jobs in hell. Get ready for the fuckeroo jungle, cunt puncher.

>>39089228
Why is this guy Green Dad? He kind of looks like a frog at that.

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>>39091370
"When you have a job, then you have my permission to die, Champ."

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I had a second interview this morning and they offered me the job.

The interviewer was a woman and I never actually shook her hand.

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>>39091886
You don't shake hands with women, abn; they are property.

>>39085439
Nah man, the fair is on Saturday. You have all day friday to smoke pot and fap

>>39087112
We wish you would stop being a shuck of a man, but here we are

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>>39082274
This is a smug working environment.

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>>39087787
>>39091405
Champ, you know better than to poke fun at someone's physical characteristics -- that's just who he is. Your isolation has affected you more than I thought, but there's nothing about your attitude that a 40-hour work week couldn't fix, Mister. Getting a job will cure what ails you. And all you've gotta do to get one is speak with the manager about the job, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they've ever made. You'll work with all kinds of interesting people once you get the job.

>>39092634
DAD HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE HANDS! HE HAS WEBBED FEET THAT ARE BOTH HOLDING COFFEE MUGS. REEEEEEEEE!

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>>39092759
"Champ, when I was your age, I served with all kinds of different people -- white, black, brown, yellow, orange, and green, and even a mix of all of them. Sure, we were an odd rag-tag bunch. Some say that it wasn't possible. But we rolled up our sleeves, worked together, and shot our way out of la Drang through sheer nerve and superior firepower. Oh, the body count that day! But where were we? Oh, yes. Learn to respect that frog because he's your new boss."

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>Parents make me go to college at 18
>After one year they cut my funding because my sister had a baby
>Even cut me off the family phone plan, totally dead in the water in a city I've only spent two semesters in
>Dropped out, got a job, found a shitty studio in the hood
>Slept on the floor and ate plain rice, lentils and bananas for weeks trying to get my shit together
>Stabilized and started to build savings
>Got several promotions and now have a good management-level job
>Two years later, I bought a brand new car, lost 100lbs, moved into a better place and have a girlfriend
>Father somehow gets my new number through some traitorous family member and sends me this

fucking normies don't even want you to succeed, fuck dadposting

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my dad used to get on my case like this, but then my mom died from brain cancer and now he's as depressed and apathetic as I am

we're both just waiting for death at this point; once he kicks the bucket i'll probably give myself a hot lead injection

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>>39082274
Fuck you dad, Im a proud NEET and will not work a day in my life, keep wagecucking away while I eat your groceries

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>parents are gonna waste away my inheritance traveling around the world
NOOOOOOO THATS MY MONEY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>39093468
Talk to your dad, anon. Everyone makes mistakes. You only get one dad and trust me, you will miss him when he's gone.

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>>39082274
I was just hired at a job a little over a week ago, at a warehouse. I was fired one week later because
>"Sorry to let you go, son. You need to be more aggressive and get your game face on. Another thing- you're really, really quiet. Good luck out there".

The little confidence I had was crushed.

>>39094151
Are you fucking kidding me? Now there isn't even relief in finding a job because its just that easy to rehire. Why can't we wipe out some of these people. I'll volunteer myself.

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>>39094151
"YOU WHAT?! NO, CHAMP. THIS WON'T DO. I DIDN'T RAISE MY CHAMP TO BE AN OBJECT OF PITY. YOU'VE GOTTA GET OUT THERE AND GRAB LIFE BY THE TAIL. NOW YOU MARCH BACK IN THERE, LOOK THE MANAGER IN THE EYE, GIVE HIM A FIRM HANDSHAKE, AND TELL HIM TO GIVE YOU YOUR JOB BACK. I RAISED A SON, NOT A WAILING WOMAN."

>>39082274
But i don't need to work dad. I have been browsing on /biz/ and have invested my neetbux into a new cryptocurrency. It's going to moon and i should be a millionaire by next week.

>>39094223
No lie. And all along I thought I was doing a decent job, doing whatever I was told.
I was just ready to leave on Friday evening, when the manager pulled me aside to give me the news. It didn't take longer than 2 minutes, but the drive home felt like an eternity. Sucs man.
>>39094227
Sorry, but I'd feel even sillier if I went in their begging for the job back. If I even did manage to persuade him to re-hire me, I'd undoubtedly be treated like trash.
Welp, time to print out some more resume's.

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>>39093691
Old cunts just don't die anymore do they? Nobody really has any 'inheritance' these days. You'll be like 60 or 70 years old til those fucks finally kick the bucket. Some people are just too scared of death. It's unreasonable.

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>>39094818
Just kidding about getting the job back, man. And I hear you: What happened to you sucks, and I hope you can bounce back elsewhere. It's all about putting up a front and part of that means having to navigate the stupidity of the workplace.

"Don't worry, Champ. Just pick yourself up, pull yourself up by the bootstraps, and we'll try again. What've you got to lose?"

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>>39087975
Take this advice my dudes. I had 2 super lame jobs where I got fired because I refused to do unsafe shit for the boss man, being a casual is not only being at the mercy of the boss but also all the fucking scabs who will undercut you and sell you out. Why would some fat cat pay you $25 an hour when he can pay some scab cunt who will stay back late and work through his lunch break $16 an hour?

>>39084234
I really like how the entire image was reversed and what is written on the mug looks like it was reflected in a mirror.

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"Your mother and I have been wondering when you're find a nice girl to settle down with and give us grandchildren, Champ. No, Champ. We've been through this before: Those cartoon girls don't count. We're talking real women, Champ. Someone you can raise a family with. And raising a family is important because it makes you responsible and accountable. It also ensures that someone will be around to take care of you when you get old."

"Well, you don't get there by typing away on your chatterbox, Champ. You've gotta go outside and talk to women, and you'll meet 'em by the truckload when you get a job. All you've gotta do is show up to the store, speak with the manager about working there, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they've ever made. Heh, girls will practically be chasing you when you get your first paycheck!"

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>>39093691
Hey, Champ, how are you? Thought about giving you a call since we haven't heard about you since we arrived here, at the Bahamas. Quite the beautiful place, it is. Quite pricey too! I had to mingle with that savings account your mother and I got for you back then. But don't sweat it, Champ! You won't need that money because you'll get a good job or two. You'll learn the value of hardwork and the thought of accepting money you haven't broken a sweat for will sound ridiculous to you! Now I can spend my hard earned money on my new sweetie. She's quite the looker, isn't she? You'll learn how good it feels buying good things for your sweetie when you get a job and can afford it yourself.

What? You haven't heard back from any of the places I drove you to? Well, you know what you gotta do, Champ. Getting a job is easy. It's just a matter of walking into the place, asking to speak with the manager, look him straight in the eye and tell him you'll be the best hire he could ever make. All while giving him a firm handshake!

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>>39096841
BASED CHAMPDAD

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Dad, you know full well I can't give anyone a handshake; not since that night you drunkenly drove your Mustang into that tree and then blamed me for not watching the road for you. If you would just pay for some prosthetics I could give it a shot, but you won't... Please, I can't afford them myself and you refuse to take responsibility for anything that happened since then. You're drinking away any hope I have of attaining a normal life. Just give me something, dad, please, I don't want to let you down, but you won't give me a fucking chance! You let your own son become a mutilated freak and your demeanor hasn't changed in the slightest!

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>>39097282
Excuses are a quitter's way out, Champ, and I haven't raised any quitters. If you want to buy yourself fancy stuff, you need to get a job. It's easy, Champ. As easy as walking into the store, talking with the manager, and giving him a firm handshake.

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"Champ, I know just how much you've dedicated yourself to finding a job, so I figured we head over to KFC and paint the town red. My treat."

"BUT... I'm afraid that's not the only reason I brought you here, Champ. Yep, you know the drill: When we head over to the cashier, ask to speak with the manager. Stand up straight, look the manager in the eye, tell him you're the right man for the job, and give him a firm handshake. What do you mean you're worried your 'wunnaytis' might see you? Champ, I think she'll be the one stalking you when you get your first paycheck."

>>39082274
>boothes have no privacy
trash it goes

>>39096246
Sorry dad, I'm gay. I'm not interested in woman or starting a family.

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>>39097790
Heh, heh, heh, heh. I don't think so, Champ.

>>39082274
>booths have no privacy
trash it goes dot filetype

>>39094151

Maybe you should review some basic tips on how to keep a job. Here's a short video: https://archive.org/details/HowtoKee1949

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>>39082274
This meme is too much, my dad unironically called me Champ when I was a kid.

My dad has never called me champ but has said and does say quite a bit of this stuff.

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Well done applying for those jobs today, Champ. It wasn't that bad, was it? You still need to work on your firm handshake, but let's call it a day for today. Know what? I'm giving you a little treat for your efforts. We're going to that new hip coffee shop that just opened in downtown. But remember! Only decaf for you, Champ. I want you to get a good night's sleep so you are ready to take the world by its tail tomorrow. Turn that frown upside down, Champ. You know we still have many places to visit, and I'm driving you to all of them until you get hired on the spot!

There's a reason why I brought you here, Champ. Remember your best friend from school? You know who I'm talking too! You two were always playing together; he called you all sorts of funny names. What was his name, again? Chazz? Nevermind, did you know he owns this place? You heard it from me first! He turned out to be quite succesful, that Chat boy. I heard he married that good looking girl you always talk about. You know who, the one with the weird name. Yuanaitis or something like that. They even have a little girl already! That Chess is a family guy now, but you can be one too, Champ.

That's right, you know what you gotta do. Go talk to him, look him straight in the eye, give him a firm handshake and tell him you're the right man for the job.

Why the long face, Champ? Don't you think it'd be fun to work for your best friend Chuck?

>be neet that's turning my life around
>applying to jobs on my own accord, had 2 interviews that I didn't get past the interview part on but I'm still applying and very eager to get back into life with help from my therapist
>stepmom who hates me convinces my father it'd be a good idea to make me start paying rent with money that I don't have yet
>he sits me down with the family and has like an intervention literally after I had come back from an interview telling me how I needed to pay rent cause I wasn't doing enough with my life
>literally causes me to have to move out to my mother's and lose all the progress I was working towards
>cut off other things like my phone after I did
I haven't talked to him since all of it, even though he still tries to talk to me
Fuck you dad and your shitbag manipulative wife.

>>39093468
call your father, anon.

>>39098475
>Fuck you dad and your shitbag manipulative wife.
Emma?

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>>39098363
>He turned out to be quite succesful, that Chat boy. I heard he married that good looking girl you always talk about. You know who, the one with the weird name. Yuanaitis or something like that. They even have a little girl already!

YAMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>39098569
Who's that? His wife's name isn't that

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>>39098475
You gotta understand, Champ. A man's priorities change with time, and since I'm done raising you, my priority now is to take care of my sweetie. But don't worry, Champ. You'll be able to pay rent just fine because you'll get a good job or two in no time!

It's just a matter of walking into a store, speaking with the manager, and giving him a firm handshake!

>>39098616
Nevermind. Just sounded kinda similar to a scenario someone I used to talk to from here had.

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>>39098363
NIGGA STOP I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS SHIT ANYMORE

>>39098622
God I love these even if it hit home

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>>39098655
there is no escape CHAMP

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>>39098363
>I heard he married that good looking girl you always talk about. You know who, the one with the weird name. Yuanaitis or something like that.
STFU DAD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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>>39098622
IM NOT EVEN NEET AND NEVER HAD BEEN AND THIS MADE ME LOSE MY SHIT
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>39098475
>be neet that's turning my life around
>turning my life around
okay Emma

>>39098742
Dad, I literally refuse to walk into the store and talk to the manager
I will sit in this car until I die of thirst or starvation, whichever one comes first
If you force me into the store, I will sit on the floor until it closes for the night and I get kicked out
If you bring the manager over to me to talk, I will start screaming curses and slurs until I am thrown out or arrested
In done playing your games Dad

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>>39082274
The only reason I'm getting a life is to not let down my father.
I don't wish for his first son to be a worthless failure

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>tfw applied on friday and got an interview tomorrow

what the hell do i do lads

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>>39099229
"Champ, if I told you once, then I've told you a million times: You've gotta crawl outta that thick shell of yours. It's all about developing a backbone, having faith in yourself, giving the manager a firm handshake, and telling him that you're the right man for the job, Champ. I didn't think I had the gumption to ruck through the blizzard of '67, but by God I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and snow shoes and plunged headlong into the driving snow. Sheer luck I barely got out of there with all my fingers and toes intact, but the manager was so impressed when I got to the factory that he shook my hand and hired me right on the spot. I'm expecting a lot from you, Champ, so don't disappoint."

>>39099393
I can't coast through an entire interview with a fucking handshake, and it's the middle of fucking August you senile fuck. Give me advice worth a damn or i'm putting you in a bad nursing home

>>39082274
Reminds me more of my grandpa than my dad. Though granddad's not nearly as optimistic, called me mentally handicapped not even two sentences in when I chose to give him a friendly visit. I'm even passing on going to family vacation to look for work at this point.

>>39098622
Dad that's just that stupid frog again. He's everywhere. I think he's trying to ruin my life.

This thread hit extremely close to home.

Do the part where he tells you he's seen all the girls checking you out and you could totally get a girlfriend if you tried.

>>39099706
>Do the part where he tells you he's seen all the girls checking you out and you could totally get a girlfriend if you tried.
that sounds like something a meme mom would say
>my handsome boy!
I'd come up with it if I wasn't so tired

>>39088618
>I promise to be a wagecuck drone until I retire at 65 and then die a few years later because I had time to reflect on my life and came to the conclusion I wasted it doing unnecessary work when I could have spent more time on the things that would have fulfilled me as a human being.

>>39098475
A neet applying for jobs is not really turning his life around. That expression means making life better. Who you meant is you are hitting rock bottom and fear you may soon have a job. I would pity you but you're the one who applied. Literally asking for it.

>>39099843
>not working hard and retiring early
Its like you didn't even read the pledge. Solid advice really, you'd have to be trying in order to fuck up as badly as you fantasized about.

>>39083729
Dad, what happens if my hands fall off?

This really is meta. A bunch of depressed neets browse have begun champposting.
The worst fucking part is I can't relate because my dad treats my stagnation like some vacation, like I'm enjoying it.
>Ha! Anon you sure look comfortable
>Hey anon! Did anything new happen today?
>What's new Anon?
>hey, coworker's friend is doing great things with her life! Isn't that great!
If military doesn't work out I'll somehow manage to livestream me shooting my family, burning the house, and killing myself. Hopefully it'll motivate others.

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>>39100331
>he still believes in the working-hard meme

But Dad I'm already working.
I'm programming when I'm at my computer and I make more than you.