What do I need to work for the CIA, lads?

>>39057319
Stay off of 4chan. Get a bachelor's degree

A drug addiction

I mean CIA has a bunch of fields to get into if that's what youre wondering

>>39057319
High GPA

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>>39057354
But on their official website they ask for people who haven't done any drugs in 12 months

dont be a criminal, dont get any kind of criminal record, dont have Any weird hobbies where you can be blackmailed, dont have bad credit, etc....

It's Normie Ville on steroids,

helpful, some kind of job in the military that they are looking for,

and college degree in field they are looking for.

Lastly, Lots , i mean A Lot , of people who known you for decades, who will say you are normal and would vouch for you for a security screening

Be good at languages.

>>39057425
>for decades
Not really possible if you're getting hired out of school.

>>39057319
>get a BA (doesn't really matter which, just have a gpa over 3.0)
>don't have a criminal record
>don't have any strange political belief
>be able to pass a polygraph (this apply's to all govt jobs with top secret)

>>39057442


they will ask for a minimum of 3 people, non relatives, who have know you for 5 to 10 years about your character and bullshit. And, they expect these people to sing your praises, you are Mr Patriotic bla bla bla,


if they go talk to them, and they are like ehhh who?? nah dont remember them, what that shy emo kid?? nah barely knew him


They want Chad and Stacy who want to be spies

>>39057524
What if I've looked up fringe beliefs on both the left and right just because they're interesting? Will they check your browser history?

>>39057425
>It's Normie Ville on steroids,
Is it really? Maybe something like that isn't for me after all (not OP). I doubt they'd want me anyway.

>>39057571
>Will they check your browser history?
no

>>39057571
No, but if you actually do hold a far-right or far-left belief and you lie about it, there's a good chance it'll show up on the polygraph

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>>39057420
>>39057420
Twelve months to clear your body if you are a normie, but only 1 day if you have the proper items :3. Continuation after that is easy and you will know when a test is coming up.

>>39057585


why in the fuck would you even want to work there anyways? seriously?

you could get the same pay grade at some random federal government job, with out all the crazy silly security screening bullshit.

>>39057595
Polygraphs are horse shit

Being an agent is like being a troll only the ends are different. I would know i got Weev put away. One of us a troll the other an agent. Insert team fortress 2 battle music here

>>39057595
What if you hold both far-left and far-right views?

>>39057647
Because it's cool and presumably something I'd like. The money's not as important to me. The NSA has all my 4chan posts though, so I probably won't be getting a security clearance for anything, ever.

>>39057712
they aren't reading your 4chan posts you paranoid autist

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>>39057539
Chad and Stacy are dumb as fuck, they will not hire such people.

Most people who work for the CIA are anti-social robots who barely knew the normie life.

You think they will take dumb motherfuckers just because they look good? They want people who will be able to keep classified information to themselves, something that a Chad or a Stacy won't be able to do because they'll be too focused on feeding their egos by letting everybody knows I work for the most though Federal Agency in the world. Chad and Stacy will be posting every single thing they do on social media just to feed their egos. That kind of people live their lives off other people's opinion, especially if they're around them. [Chad and Stacy]

>>39057712


LOL pshhhhhhhhhhh ahahahah yea,

listen kiddo, the Novelty of saying i work at some security thing wears off after 5 minutes,

and then the ONLY thing that matters is the pay, the health plan, and how many vacation days you get

A resume??

Hello, sirs.

>>39057742
>they don't look into your social media history during your background check

Yeah, okay guy.

>>39057764
Social media is publicly accessible.
4chan post history isn't.

>>39057744

most robots would never even pass the background check.

>>39057749
Their salaries are good though. If I was in snowdens shoes I'd have just stuck with it and lived it up in Hawaii.

>>39057764
Lots of jobs check social media. No job checks 4chan

>>39057749
It's not really the novelty of it. I feel like it's something I'd be good at. Like it's my calling.

Chasing money is okay too, I guess. It looks like I'll end up doing that then.

>>39057799
If you can get a job at NSA you can probably make more in industry.

>>39057764
they literally don't. you think they read all your text messages too? lol

I got a little bit of thc usage unfortunately. It's legal in some states but still criminal federally.

That's the only drug I use, other than caffeine.

>>39057764
Government absolutely has access to all posts ever made.

>>39057803
If we're talking about security clearances, they will. They go and ask people who've known you for years about you and give you a polygraph, so you don't think they'd check what you like to do on the internet?

Most people in my field go into the NSA. I don't think that will be an option either for the same reasons.

>>39057868
Meant to quote:
>>39057792

ORIGAMI

>>39057744
>Chad and Stacy are dumb as fuck, they will not hire such people.
>They want people who will be able to keep classified information to themselves

Proof you have no idea what you are talking about. Have you seen the sort of person they put on news shows that are supposedly former cia agents? Take Mike BAker for example - he's a total Chad. The closest thing to a robot are the numale guys that describe everything a "problematic."

Sure, you could say "well that's the sort of former agent that would end up on news shows," but I'd disagree.

What about all the leaks lately?

The CIA is full of people who have been educated in Ivy League universities. Those universities have been promoting things like gay marriage, multiculturalism, diversity, and other elements of modern leftist dogma for decades now. These are the sorts of ideologies being pushed overseas, and that's why we are losing now. We're never going to win in the Middle East or some Slavic shit hole teaming up with the local feminist or homo rights organizations

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>>39057764
The NSA is probably reading this post right now

>>39057793
Nigger please... Robots barely leave their houses, you think the CIA is gonna be searching backgrounds and shit of people they already know?

Plus, the CIA only spies on foreign governments/countries, they're barely spying individuals who live in the USA. They know who leaves and who enters the country automatically, so they will not be spying on US Citizens, they will never expect an inside job, fuckboii

Typical day at the office

>"robot 309 is masturbating again to BBC on Asian porn. Looks like a typical day. His mom made ribs for dinner how nice."

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>>39057910
Nigger fucking pease

You know they can be actors too, right? The fucking Feds have millions of way of getting to their targets, it's not even funny. They will hire actors so they don't expose the real agent, they're supposed to be undercover/unmarked federal agents.

Do you think you can tell when CIA agents are around you? Your fucking teacher could be a CIA agent and you didn't even know it.

>>39057913
>The NSA is probably reading this post right now

Maybe so :^)

The NSA's cool too, I'm sure, but for different reasons.

>>39057953

I sorta can.

U

>implying anyone at OPM even knows what 4chan is

You guys had eye patch guy for a while.

He was the most obvious one.

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>>39057972
>Central INTELLIGENCE Agency

Intelligence is the keyword, amigo...

>>39058018

Yeah I got that.

>hire actors

Oh? Like crisis actors.

:333 DD: XD

>>39057953
Your thinking is the conspiracy driven, paranoid thinking of callers on late night radio shows.

The reality is much simpler. You didn't refute any of my points with any FACTS.

>data mining thread


Fuck off op

Hehehe you leaked info.

Tsk.

Ahahaha! The rookie that leaked info gets a noogie and a hard wedgie.

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>>39058076
Are you implying that the Feds made this thread to collect information about 4chab users?

>>39058152

>big guys are iPhone posters

Sad

>>39058072
You're in denial right now... no conspirancies, federal agencies do that to protect the identity of the people who work for them. You have no idea how powerful and how influential the government is on the mass media. All this shit was created so they keep control easier of every person who has access to the internet. There are so many things you can do on the internet including how to make a homemade bomb/ explosives and/or any other mass destruction-able devices.

How do they get people to become the fall guy? Do they lie to them? Is it coercion? Mind control?

>>39058193
You're not making any sense. You didn't read my post. I was talking about former agents.

There's no evidence to support your claim the government it hiring actors to play former agents on television.

Give me ONE case where the cia used actors to portray FORMER agents during an interview with a reporter.

>>39058225
Classified information, fuckboii, you will not find the answer to that question anywhere, unless you work for the highest ranks guys in the agency.

Be autistic enough to be like a math genius and you're in.
Be a really good writer and researcher. With a college degree and internship experience.
Bonus points for speaking many languages.
Computer haxor status is a plus.
If you wanna do spooky sog shit try becoming a SEAL first.

>>39058152
>Are you implying that the Feds made this thread to collect information about 4chab users?

Moot sold over 4chan data back in 2006 data mining has been happening here for years and still continues under Hiro.

>>39057319
>a robot
I have no idea, but you're not gonna work for the CIA anon, I can tell you that much

>ctrl+F "firm handshake"
>0 of 0
I'm very disappointed, sport.

Kill your parents worship Satan probably much more. If they can't blackmail you into the ground you're out