So anon, what's been on your mind as of late?

>>38995566
I want to kill myself
I want to get Xanax
>those satanic dubs
I'm falling to depravity

>>38995585
Yeah I understand. I've been wanting to die for awhile now but said "Fuck it, I deserve this pain"
turns out I have psychosis

File: headache.gif (1MB, 560x315px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 560x315px

I can't really form coherent thoughts anymore. it's more of a fog of anxiety and half formed thoughts in my brain

>>38995613
same here, everything is like a swirl

>>38995613
Same, I have fucking finals in a few days I don't want to fail again

>>38995566
I think I'll never have someone romantically interested in me and maybe that's for the best.

>>38995566
How Im going to turn 30 very soon and be a total failure with no clear way out.

>>38995566
A girl I matched with stopped responding after a few hours of what seemed like a good time and stopped responding and eventually unmatched me with no reason given

>>38995585
how do u get xanax if u don't have severe panic attacks?

File: 1502140140352.jpg (197KB, 482x750px) Image search: [Google]

197KB, 482x750px

Still deciding whether I'm more scared of killing myself or continuing to live

File: ????.jpg (82KB, 750x562px) Image search: [Google]

82KB, 750x562px

My reaction to every bad thought/feeling of inadequacy is the phrase "I should kill myself" in my brain. I don't think I have a desire to kill myself, but that phrase is always popping up in my brain and has been for a couple years now. I'm not really sure what to make of it

>>38995566
I feel like I'm trapped inside my own mind, everything around me feels like a cage

>>38995613
Do you ever just get lost in thought?
Like it drifts away into another world
>>38995640
I'm the same way. I get very suspicious when someone confesses which mostly ruins it.
>>38995649
Why do you say that?
>>38995661
That's what a lot of people do, specifically women on those apps.
It's insane what's happening now-a-days.
>>38995663
Continuing to live is very courageous but so is killing yourself.
Living will cause agony but it's interesting to see what the world has in it for you y'know?
>>38995669
Have you been bottling up your emotions?
>>38995707
I know that feeling. It feels like you're watching someone else and you can't control anything

I missed these, thank you for coming back

>>38995566
>nice digits

I've been thinking of the following scenario...

>find cute girl in the park
>eye contact, approach her politely and say (with a very calm voice)
>"excuse me"
>"I know that you already know this, but I just wanted to acknowledge how beautiful you are"
>"OMG OMG OMG OMG" (she is freaking out)
>interrupt her and use body language to tell her to keep her mouth shut
>the shock of the moment should provoke some kind of hypnosis
>induce her into taking deep breaths along with you (3 or so)
>she should have a smile in the face
>very gentle, offer a hug
>she does it
>grab her tightly and kiss her on the cheek
>eye contact again and she should be smiling like crazy
>"can i kiss you on the lips?" (calm voice)
>she nods
>kiss her two times, and look her in the eyes again
>smile
>sit back and enjoy the moment
>at this point she doesn't know what the fuck happened, but she's feeling amazing

am i a genius or just losing it?
seriously considering trying this, but it can only work if she starts freaking out after the first step, if she stays calm and says ''thank you'' or some shit, just smile and walk away

>>38995739
Been fairly busy so never got back to making these

>>38995842
I don't quite think that would work unless they were a bit socially awkward.
I hope it works out for you though

>>38995566
>So anon, what's been on your mind as of late?

The Jews

My hatred of women has pretty much become pathological. Their very existence makes me angry, I wish nothing but suffering on them

>>38995842
why would she freak out?
unless you look like a serial rapist or something there is no reason she would, and in that case there is no chance she'd hug/kiss you a matter of seconds afterwards.

You have autism.

Stop thinking up scenarios that are impossible in reality and just talk to people, naturally.
You fucking weirdo.

File: 1480991972435.png (78KB, 375x444px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 375x444px

>>38995885
Don't look now, there might be one in this very thread

>>38995925
Did you turn prison gay?

>>38995955
>Did you turn prison gay?
Uhh, what?
No, I'm 100% straight, which makes it worse

>>38995993
That does make it worse.
What caused you to turn this way?

>shitty job
>FUCK normies
>Dad invited himself over and dumped my leech older brother on me
>shitty school
>FUCK normies

>>38996017
>Girl at uni blatantly led me on and then ghosted me
>Female friend of over 5 years cuts me off for voting for Trump
>Haven't spoken in 3 weeks to a girl who claimed I was "very important to her"
Etc., etc., etc. Roasties have bamboozled me way too many times, I'm just resigned to the fact that they're all the same

>>38995929

What do you mean talk naturally?
I can't think of anything I could say to a random stranger to get her attention. I pretty much never leave the house.. so the only times I do I go sit at the park.

I don't want to seem needy, but at the same time let her know I noticed her. Also don't want to go ask her for her number just like that, THAT is creepy as fuck.

The freaking out part comes because, as the other anon said, if she normally doesn't have this kind of interaction she should get pretty nervous, but in a good way... which in my opinion can be taken into advantage.

>>38996049
I suggest going into IT to get a better job that'll benefit you more.

>>38996072
Ah, so your roastie encounters caused that

Dude needs a ride. Sweet a couple $$$. Mom has blocked my car in from behind because she is relapsing some fucked up loss of child syndrome so wants to ground me. Have to really wiggle my way out cuz I'm not gonna be grounded and would really like some cash and I graze the car next to me with bumper. Bumper falls off Jeep. This plastic hinge looks reliable. Slip, crash, hm something wrong with it. Maybe if I try again. Make it 15 miles, falls off to a measly speedbump. Run over my bumper. Picking up friend from bar now. Oh yeah that's what grownups do. Doesn't have $$$ for me, only needed a ride about 4 miles that his friends wouldn't do. Mfw forgot how horny people are for Uber. Would rather call for a ride from far as fuck and shortchange then walk and look cheap. So I'm inconvenienced. Finally get home and try to install bumper, see the problem. Hinge is warped and loose and can't hold it's own anymore. I dick around lifting and dropping the bumper for about 30 minutes before accepting defeat. Now I don't want to go to sleep because in the morning my parents will see my broken car and yell at me.

god I just want to die rn

Getting withdrawals from cocaine
And alcohol it's hard hut I'll make it

File: 34.jpg (21KB, 224x232px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 224x232px

>>38995566
I'm trying to keep calm, but im too preoccupied with things. maybe dying will helpu

My life's finally getting pretty good, but that just means I'm scared of losing it all and I feel guilty for still being depressed all the time. I still think about killing myself a lot and I'm secretly kind of upset that I can't now because of the responsibilities that came with the life I built.

>>38995566
WHY ARE WE ALL THINKING THE SAME THINGS?!?!??!?! WHAT THE *HECK* IS GOING ON HERE??????????????????????????????????????????

This is so dumb

>>38996072
>Haven't spoken in 3 weeks to a girl who claimed I was, "very important to her."
I've never had this in my entire life, not even from family. What was it like? What did it take to get someone to say that?

found some combed cotton sheets, feels good

I've been travelling as a vagabond for about 6 months now. I thought new experiences might change something about me, but I guess not. Whenever I can, I just retreat to my laptop and shitpost/play old video games despite being in a foreign country on the other side of the planet.

It's not that I have problems meeting new people and find new experiences, it just turns out that I'm not really that interested in them. Which I find sad.

I've considered getting rid of my laptop to force myself to go do shit.

>>38995566
How the universe works.

Light how light appears. No scientist can explain that shit without saying "hur energy released from fusion".

>>38995566
It's still the same question - why i have no passion for anything?

File: 1367910038769.png (587KB, 826x738px) Image search: [Google]

587KB, 826x738px

>>38995566
I really don't like my job because of the voilent people I have to deal with every day.
I really want to cry when people are rude to me and when ever I have to pull a stun gun on someone who's trying to attack one of our workers it makes me feel really bad on the inside

>>38997256
>when ever I have to pull a stun gun on someone who's trying to attack one
Are you working as a policeman?

>>38995566
I'm stupid I'm a failure I'm a fuck up

I'll never fucking make it
what's the fucking point anyway if you can't have a 7+/10 girl? every qt is out of my league and I have no redeeming qualities anyway.
What people consider to be natural is a fucking fantasy to me. While people find interaction exciting and interesting I have trouble talking to fucking cashiers.
I've had no validating experiences, no teenage relationships, nothing. I'm literally a ghost.
I'm sad, frustrated, bitter and I hate myself.

>>38997340
cashier of a shitty dollar store that has crack heads come in every day

>>38997463
That sounds intense.
What was the worst experience?

>>38995566
Why no assisted suicide for healthy people.

A summary of my life for the last few months

>new puppy got hit by a car, survived, but barely scraping by at the moment due to vet bills
>grandpa, only man I ever loved, died suddenly
>got fucked over at work and wasn't paid on time nor promoted to job I was assured I would get
>sex life has gone down the shitter due to anti depressants
>regularly go off meds because I'm a fucking idiot
>drinking is getting worse again
>started wondering what would hurt less, a noose or a blade

This shit is getting real old

File: 1465371830376.jpg (114KB, 780x818px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 780x818px

>>38997479
A few days ago some guy came behind the counter screaming he was going to kill me because he forgot a bag. Zapping my stun gun got him to leave but it was scary.

>>38997498
>Why no assisted suicide for healthy people.
Who's going to pay taxes? You're government property.

>>38997536
But anon why are you working there if it's so stressful? Arent there any other retail related place?

>>38995842
how would you get her into a hypnosis ?

Well, I do notice how it's a bit easier to be a man now. I've been through different hard phases of my life, it was really bad from late 2014-early 2016 because I got too involved in manosphere feminism stuff. I mean those people who promote slut culture are evil. The manosphere guys are good guys, but they too promote a bad lifestyle in a sense.
So I do get respected more, I feel better about myself, because sop much time has passed and I adapted and pushed through it. This is not mentioning all the other shit eras I've been through where I had to deal with people's garbage behaviors.

I also wonder how I will use the internet going forward. I've been using it for many years and I don't have much to show for it. I want to use it in a way where I can not be on it all the time, but I can still get something out of it. Since my other attempts at using the internet were shitshows.

>>38997552
I live in the middle of nowhere. I also got a raise a few hours before the guy flipped his shit

>>38996072
> have had FEMALE friends the past few years
Get the fuck out, scum

>>38997590
Oh, i see. Hows your life btw? I mean besides work.

>>38997608
my old house got sold so my family had to move in my grandmothers with five other people.

>>38997628
>with five other people.
Are they friendly?

>go out of town with friend
>9/10 stranger does something nice for me
>can't figure out how to shift the conversation to me giving her my number

I am not good with social scenarios or the "normies"

I keep having thoughts about life and the world in general. It's only 2017, we're alive in such an early year considering there will probably be humans alive in the year 30000000. Woah, man. I would love to see what it's like in the future. I want to die when I'm old but I'd still like to see what happens to the world and see what happens

File: My instincts tell me.png (6KB, 253x243px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 253x243px

>>38997636
no they're all violent meth heads who will get mad after more that three seconds of eye to eye contact

>>38997654
Damn, anon. That sounds really rough, i wish that one day everything would turn out better.

File: o-que-sedentarismo1 (2).jpg (683KB, 849x565px) Image search: [Google]

683KB, 849x565px

>>38995566
>I miss my oneitis
>I wanna die
>I need hash and beer.

>>38997666
thank you anon. atleast someone cares

>>38996074
She doesn't get nervous "in a good way" if some random creep tries to hit on her.

I'd recommend to neck yourself, mate, but with autism like that I doubt you could even tie a knot without trying to rape it halfway through.

File: 009.jpg (341KB, 1536x1024px) Image search: [Google]

341KB, 1536x1024px

cowes

That im just a big fucking failure. A big disappointment. Reoccurring thoughts of suicide, I try to picture it as bad but it just seems good now. Also got a career high in overwatch but dropped like 80 so fuck

>>38995585
If you get xan's dont take em in public.
Just get comfy with em

Girl who told me she loves me hasn't messaged me back in almost 3 weeks for no discernible reason.

File: 2ae.jpg (49KB, 600x735px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 600x735px

>I'm nowhere near as smart as I thought I was
>even if I attain a good life that doesn't mean my family will. I should invest time in their wellbeing like they have for me
>I will probably never get a girlfriend and should get past waiting for one
>/pol/ was right
>I need to stop taking myself so seriously

>>38997874
ya gotta exercise intelligence like a muscle anon

File: 1502202494776.jpg (21KB, 291x258px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 291x258px

>>38995566
recurring dreams of letting down the last few people who give a damn about me which has caused me to lose a lot of sleep

also I really miss cocaine

a lot.

>>38995566
Thinking about living to 100 years old and being married and filthy rich and in love and married to my soulmate for eternity than k realize how boring and shitty it would be and life in general is

>>38995566
Thinking of my ex and trying to make myself not contact her

>>38997232
>"hur energy released from fusion".
While it's true that fusion releases energy in form of light (among other things), it's has nothing to do with what light really is.
Light is just a disturbance in the ever permitting electromagnetic field
Hope that helps

File: RickInSpaceOnDrugs-wallpaper-11348615.jpg (748KB, 720x1280px) Image search: [Google]

748KB, 720x1280px

I'm feeling some confusion about you. Which is fine but I'm going to take some space because I don't want to get closer to someone who's distant/not sure what they want.

>>38995566
I'm getting more frustrated with each passing day but feel so apathetic to my own suffering that I end up ignoring it.

I often imagine myself reaching a breaking point. I imagine myself screaming for help. Screaming for anyone to come save me.
But I don't have a voice anymore.

>>38998203
Not quite the same, I think, but I imagine scenarios in my head where I scream and break stuff and yell at everyone. It's a nice thought, like reaching the absolute breaking point, but I always end up just saying, doing, hearing and feeling nothing like always. Daydreaming I'd call it.

>>38995566
My life is mostly non-existent these days. I fear leaving from the security of my parents. I don't know how to go about setting on my own path. I have many options, all of which seem daunting. I'm stuck. I'm like a kid afraid to jump into the water. I've spent a lot of time accumulating knowledge, reading, learning about the world. I don't want to be a loser. I don't want to be average. I want the high life. I want to go from nothing to something just like many have fantasied about. I seem to lack purpose and optimism for the future. I'm so heavily ingrained in my habits and way of life that any deviation has become difficult. Even when I make changes, they seem to be so insignificant that nothing seems to really change much at all. I feel powerless. I chose to ignore opportunities and let them pass. I sabotage myself constantly, I don't want to feel happiness or success for some reason. Maybe it is because I perceive some of my desires as so easily attainable so I purposefully make it difficult for myself. I feel entitled to nothing, even though at times I very well might be. I feel ashamed to claim what is mine for the taking. And this is exactly what the status quo demands. They don't want me to be prideful, powerful, happy, masculine, strong or superior in any way. This makes me prefer being hated or not thought of at all.

nothing, i'm an empty vessel, i'm just a repulsive human body

>>38995566
I have an irrational hate for lesbians that I cant deal with. probably some anger problems too

everyday
every single fucking day i keep asking myself what i want to do but i can never find an answer.
my parents are old. 55 mom 65 dad. they won't be around forever. i need to figure this shit out soon, but everything is so fucking boring

>>38995585
Xanny make it go away.

I just got a shipment of Arizona so at least I can be aesthetically depressed now too, that should keep me going a little while.

I ordered a "daddy pig" t-shirt off amazon and a bunch of chokers. Anxiety has been pretty high and I'm having suicidal thoughts from the moment I gain consciousness, but I'm otherwise pretty good. I'm still on vacation so social interaction is at a minimum and I've effectively outcasted myself for the next school year, I downloaded snapchat for the soul purpose of talking shit to the normans, and it's been a good laugh so far.

Best wishes to all of you, hope you guys are doing well now and if not soon, much love from Britbongistan.

File: 1495622242703.gif (500KB, 500x333px) Image search: [Google]

500KB, 500x333px

Why everyone is so flaky and undependable? Why haven't we euthanized the boomers, or at least the idiot old men? Why are women so fucking helpless in every way imaginable? How have we managed to develop civilization and technology to this point when everyone is so fucking dumb? Can I go somewhere to get away from this trash species?

>>38998793

/r9k/ island when?
granted there would be a tonne of perverts but everyone would be too beta to physically harm each other so it'd be alright.

also having my own foot worship cult doesn't sound all that bad, right?

a little degeneracy here and there is good for the immune system.

>>38998775
samefag

These fucking captchas are making my life a misery. Think I'm gonna fall for the pay-to-shitpost meme pretty soon.

>>38995566
>So anon, what's been on your mind as of late?

I really need to quit taking dexedrine.

>>38998894
Try and stick to pot my man, best of luck.

>>38995566
how disappointed i am about myself

File: 1502326351954.png (2MB, 1063x1299px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1063x1299px

>texted my ex
>seen

File: images (1).jpg (7KB, 197x256px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 197x256px

slada

>>38995885
indeed the jews, you beat me to it

I've never known my father. He left us when we were 1 or something. I always told me mother that I've been fine without knowing who he is. So I don't even know his name. And I am. Like to me I've always thought, even as a little kid that if he never made the time for me, why should I make the time for him? My stepdad was more of a father than him to me. So I had that father figure in my life.

But I dunno part of me lately has been curious. I don't even wanna be a part of his life really. I just wanna know who he is. What does he do? Is he alive? Do I have brothers and sisters?

>38999999
Thiso comentro isu otingale desk ka

>>38999999
Goddanjt what the fuck seriously ma

My music keeps getting better and I'm almost making decent stuff.
Everything else is going to shit tho. No friends left, uni is fucked.

File: 1502351628578.jpg (105KB, 789x884px) Image search: [Google]

105KB, 789x884px

>>38995566

Found a girl that shared many similarities to me regarding music and humour. We both liked each other, however due to 'emotional difficulties' she felt that she couldn't have a relationship... apparently if timing were better it could have worked.

I responded by ending contact. Since then I've begun to dwell on it, thinking back and forth and nearly contacting her. The whole experience may sound juvenile, but having nothing come to fruition due to 'emotional difficulties' without explanation is abysmal.

She seems mad and disappointed again. I know it's not the end of the world, but every time she does this I fear it's all over.

>>38997831
Is she alive, Anon?

I finally got the strength to cash my check. Now I'm thinking about what PC to buy next month.

There's a woman a fair bit older at one of my work sites, and I have a massive crush on her. I want to stop this, please help.

>>39001071
never fuck your co-workers

>>39001221
I know, I want to stop this feeling.

Surprised this thread is still up

File: 1501435137616.gif (931KB, 500x322px) Image search: [Google]

931KB, 500x322px

Dreaming again, and I hate it.
>Be me, smoking hashoil every evening since 10 years to sleep
>Don't dream
>feels_good.png
>Trying 2cb, because it sounds like a nice trip
>start dreaming again
>Smoking hashoil doesn't help
>I HATE IT
How do I make it stop?

>>38995566
My mom's house. It's clean and safe. My mother always keeps everything nice and clean. Thinking of it makes me feel sad and nostalgic for a time when I had that. My living residence is so irreversibly filthy and infested with insects that I can't go anywhere and be clean or safe. I'm full of despair and helplessness at my own uselessness and how immeasurably fucked I am. Can't even leave the house to escape because I live in a shitty ghetto hood that's just as filthy. I'm stuck rotting in here like a living hell. Really wish someone would fucking kill me. There's nowhere I can sit, stand, lay down or sleep that is safe. I want to live in a bubble.

>>38995566
afraid of being late to the party and not being good enough
i have a good shot at getting into a good grad program for a new field.
i'm afraid i won't be good enough for it, and that in 4-6 years when i'm done with my ms/phd all the exciting shit has already been solved

>>39002021
Get a gun, start selling coke get bitches to keep your place clean, make enemies that might go for your head. 2 options, one solution

>>38995566
Just had myself commited in a psych ward again. I wish I had drugs

File: 1493090698340.jpg (214KB, 500x402px) Image search: [Google]

214KB, 500x402px

>>38995566
How lonely, horny, depressed, and miserable I am. All I do is wake up, get ready to go to work, go to work for 8 hours, come back home, sit alone in my apartment to either play video games, listen to music, or jack off, to then get drunk and high then cry myself to sleep.

I need new hobbies, I need to meet new people, I'm tired and sad of being the forgotten one.

>>39002232
Are you fucking nuts? Am I some fucking movie character now? Christ.

>>38998985
Never stay in contact with your ex, anon

>>39002450
I think that was solid advice he just gave you. It's better to burn out than to fade away. Dealing drugs, easiest job in the world, talking mad bank. That guy is obviously smart

>>39002450
You already live in the ghetto, not really hard to get an unregistered gun, and drugs should be the least problem. You just need to find somebody who give you them on credit. And selling, coke sells itself.

>>38995842
That would not work at all.

or

>>39002493
>>39002514
Ok, normalfags.

>>39002331
I was in the same place last year, so maybe i can let you know what worked for me. Last year all I would do is get home from work or school, get drunk and play video games until I went to sleep.

I forced myself to give up video games for three months in order to change my routine. I forced my to find other things that I liked doing and once I went back to video games, I didn't feel nearly as addicted to them as when I left. I would recommend forcing yourself to give up either drinking or the hobby you spend most of your time on.

You'll be bored AS FUCK for like two weeks but then you'll find something else you like doing and you'll be happier in the long run. Currently on week 2 of giving up getting drunk during the week and I feel a whole lot better physically. Also, it's bringing my tolerance down a lot which is nice, I don't have to drink half a bottle of whiskey anymore to get drunk, which was an expensive hassle.

Just my two cents.

>>39002454
I want her back though.

>>39003250
It'll hurt you more in the long run

Never quite sure who my real friends are, unfortunately. Also really want to have a relationship but since it's the summer and I'm not back at school I can't meet new people as easily so I've just been chilling and getting sad. I've also been going through trials with various anti-depressants and none of them have been helping.

>>39003285
>I've also been going through trials with various anti-depressants and none of them have been helping
That shit doesnt help. Better find a good therapist.