>begins scanning your items what do you do?

Pull my credit card out and wait to pay.

Get out my purse, don't say anything and wait. Maybe try not to look like a zombie, smilying a tiny bit.

Politely make small talk pay and leave. What do YOU do?

>>38959226
>>38959251
>the virgin checkout

Ask her why she's not married at her age.

>>38959206
Yell "WHAT THE FUCK?!" then turn my back to her. I begin to breathe through my teeth with my back hunched and fists clinched. I fail to hold back tears. She finally offers to switch places with an old grandpa who finished scanning my items. I pay with crumpled $20 bills and scurry out of the store.

>>38959206
shit pants

>>38959206
Starts putting stuff in bag and wait until I can pay, then say yes if she asks if I want a receipt.

Stare intensely committing every detail of her into memory. Get a deep inhale of her scent. Pay for my shit. Rush home and beat off while her scent is still fresh with me.

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>>38959277
The real virgin checkout would be using self-checkout.

>>38959681
>have 1 item
>use self checkout
>dumb normalfags think I'm a virgin

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Looks like about 50% of cashiers here, so I'd probably do what I always do (say hi, pay, say thanks, escape)

Here in Germany, it normally works like this, in grocery stores.
>my turn
>i say hello
>push my shopping cart in a position for easy access
>as she scans my items, i put them into the shopping cart (we don't have grocery baggers you lazy yanks)
>don't do small talk because the whole thing is over within 20 seconds
>when she's done, i pay in CASH (i don't let the big jewish banks track all my buying decisions)
>i say bye have a nice day
>if i had a car, i'd push my shopping cart to my car. But i'm not a filthy cager yank, so instead i put the groceries in my backpack
>push my shopping cart back to the shopping cart area, because we don't have faggy cart pushers, you lazy yank assholes
>WALK home
And THAT'S how you go grocery shopping

>>38959681
Its much faster, since there's almost never lines

Nothing?
What is there to originally do?

>>38959681

>tfw brainlet and always fuck up using the self checkout

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>>38960094
>"An attendant will come to assist you shortly."

>>38959889
you sound like the perfect customer. I'm a cashier, and have to deal with amerisharts all day

>customers talk to me about irrelevant things or try to make jokes
>get mad at me if I don't smile
>have an attitude when I don't bag the single item they're purchasing that they could just hold in their hands or put in their purse
>some customers refuse to bag their own groceries or even put them in their cart

>>38960156

>my mom and grandmother both will raise hell if an employee doesn't have a broad shit-eating grin the whole time they are 'helping' them. My grandmother actually will try to get someone fired for it too.

They wonder why I stopped wanting to go out with them as soon as I could get away with it.

>>38959206
Nothing.

She's a cashier, she doesn't give any more of a shit about me than the other hundred people she rang up today.

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>>38959206
Point my eyes at the conveyor belt and gaze longingly into the void.

>>38959889
What's the matter Ahmed? Did an American steal your oneitis?

>>38960156
>more customers refuse to bag their own groceries

Thhat's your fucking job, dipshit. What do you think you're getting paid for?

>>38959206
stare into the distance.

>>38960510
>"hello, did you find everything ok today?"

>>38959612
Bonus points if her hand brushes mine while exchanging cash.

>>38959206
pull out my wallet and wait for her to finish
if she chats with me, i will not ignore her

>>38960570
y-yes
stare into the ground

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>>38959889
Honestly this is how normal and sane person should do.
>>38960481
>>38960210
I will never understand this, even if I try very hard. How self-absorbed and demanding someone has to be, to even let a thought of someone packing their groceries or forcing a smile cross their mind. It rustles my jimmies when I think someone takes it as normal behaviour

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>take my Mom's debit card out of my wallet as fast as possible
>avoid all possible eye contact, but bring my head up a couple of times to make sure they don't think I'm autistic
>fumble with the touchscreen when trying to select "no" to the "Would you like cash back?" question, end up tapping it with my finger a few times before trying the stylus
>mumble "have a good night" back at them as I leave

Why did they have to make self-checkouts only available in the day/incredibly buggy?
I just want to get out of the public eye as fast as possible.

>>38960481
If someone buys $400 worth of shit, don't you think it would be more efficient to have both the customer and cashier bagging shit at the same time? If you just stand around staring at me bagging your entire order, then you're a fucking asshole.

>stare at the gum or belt
>anticipate making eye contact and speaking
>try not to show interest
>overdo it and come off as unfriendly
>watch as her expression and intonation sours as she decides I'm a creep anyway
>receive my change while she purposely looks down or over my shoulder dismissively
Every time.

>>38960121
top fucking kek

originallly

>>38959720
>they're correct

>>38960908
I used to be like this.
You'll eventually get the timing right. It helps to appear occupied with your money.

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>>38959206
Nothing because I know cashiering leaves little room for thoughts about other people because you're too busy hating yourself for being stuck working such a mind-numbingly awful job.

Working in a grocery store (or any retail setting, really) makes you numb to the emotions and actions of others. It takes all your mental energies just to get through the fucking day.

I usually use the card. This may be my major folly. Paying by card adds a layer of abstraction to the payment ritual, while subtracting the grounding, deeply rooted physical exchange of currency. Also zero chance of brushing hands as I hand her my wad. It's all so clear to me now.

You can't count on this because what if it's a pizzeria and she's one of the only girls there. Then her job is to be the cute face of the company and she knows it.

>>38961053
That's only working in a big chain shops probably. I've been working part-time regular through high school in a small village grocery store and it was really comfy, the same in a bookstore when I moved to a city.

Maybe I wasn't hating myself then.

>politely hand all the items to her

she'll think i'm super considerate (a BIG refreshing change from most people) and maybe some skin touching for the hands, win win.

>>38959206

>hey I'm doing well how are you?
>that's good to hear, yeah I have my store card
>darn these new chip readers can be a hassle sometimes!
>you have a good night also, I know I will (motioning my head to the 24 pack of beer I just bought)

It's not that hard boys

>>38962043

How do you politely hand something to someone?

*I take off my robe and wizard hat and politely hand her my groceries* good evening m'lady

stand there and fidget awkwardly. answer whatever small talk questions she makes. leave.

>>38962043
No, as a cashier when I'm not at school, please don't hand your fucking things do me. All it does is slow me down.

>>38959206
say hi and wait for her to finish scanning my items and tell me the total then give her the exact amount in cash and leave with my items.

>>38959206

Rear up on my hind legs so that I tower several hands above her and immediately thrust my horse cock into her eye cavity.

>>38959206
>smile and say hi
>wait for her to finish scanning
>pay
>smile and say bye

>>38960156
>Customer gets mad if YOU dont thank them for buying shit

Of course, it depends on the amount of items.

>Load crap onto conveyor
>Exchanging of retail formalities (Ex: Hi, how are you, find everything ok, the like)
>Wait for her to finish scanning items, read bogus headlines from the checkout tabloids, oggle at whatever girl-of-the month makes the front of Cosmopolitan, perhaps give cashier's face a glance once or twice
>Pay with card, decline receipt
>Thank her, exchange final pleasantries, collect bags
>Get on with our fucking lives

Easy enough.

who /kroger/ here?