Your Wishes Granted

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I wish Katya was my qt loving gf.
And that she doesn't turn out to be a trap, or cheating on me, or has an infectious or terminal disease, or fake tits, bad breath, infertile, mentally challenged, bald, mental illnesses or has hair chest. Gotta protect myself from you, evil genie.

I wish you and only you would enter into a state of nonexistence immediately after I finish this sentence.

Can you make me god please?

>>38934464
Your wish has been granted.

After you are in an accident that leaves you infected with a terminal disease, infertile, mentally challenged and with permanent bad breath, your story makes it to the news. Katya sees your story and takes to twitter to exclaim that she is your qt online girlfriend for your few remaining days. You never meet her and you don't have the mental capacity to actually send her twitter messages but she sends jpegs and well wishes to your phone on a weekly basis which she also shows to twitter.

I wish to be permanently delitized

>>38934496
Your wish is granted.

A stray bullet from a nearby gang confrontation spins through your skull, lodging itself in your amygdala. You lose the ability to perceive higher beings and also the ability to feel any emotions but profound sadness, fear and self loathing.

>>38934497
Abra Kadabra
*gifts you a copy of SimCity 2013*

>>38934549
Granted.

The day of the apocalypse comes and great beings descend from the sky. They explain the truth of earth's purpose and the announce that all suffering will end, every living thing will be transported to a paradise and Earth will be kept in a state of stasis. This is achieved by eternally playing the theme to Crazy Bus at window-shattering decibels. In the paradise, money is of no worth, everyone is beautiful, there is a woman/man for every individual and infinite bliss is experienced by everyone forever.

Portals open up for everyone to pass through into paradise. As you are about to take a step toward the portal I appear to grant your wish. You are delitized permanently and you fall over, face down into the dirt and I grant you immortality so you don't starve. Every living thing enters the portals as do I and they close forever. Then the Crazy Bus theme magically plays to keep the world in stasis forever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC0cvwnG0Ik

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>>38934387

Can I have neetbux pls ?

orange post

>>38934387
I wish to get fucked in the ass by a pack of feral, AIDS niggers, while reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.

I just want everything to be ok

>>38934387
I'd like a Number 2 combo with a coke for free.

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I wish I would be dead. Without any foul things happening in the afterlife,without a really painful death.
Just release me,I'm begging you.

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I wish Kim Jong Un ruled the world

>>38934785
You are in a horrible accident which renders you disfigured and unable to move, go to the bathroom or clean yourself without the help of an obese gay black male nurse who, when no one is looking, sticks his unkempt feet in your mouth while he masturbates. Unable to work, you apply for government subsistence. It is granted at a sum of $350 per month for 8 months.

>>38934804
A function is being held and you are chosen to recite the Pledge of Allegiance on stage. All your colleagues are there as is your crush. You signed a piece of paper stating that if you screw up the pledge for any reason at all, you forfeit your life and all your belongings to Somali refugees in Europe. Also your crush will marry one of those Indian men who makes weird facebook posts on the internet.

You step on stage to recite the pledge and your wish is granted. A pack of feral AIDS niggers high on meth and a 72 hour aphrodisiac bum rush the stage and just start ass fucking you. You grip the microphone determined to not screw up the pledge. You almost make it to the end before being violently mouth raped by a second pack of AIDS niggers. A 3rd, 4th and 5th pack also come from places unknown and form an impenetrable fuckball pile on and around you while lawyers make phonecalls to have all your things collected and sent to Europe.

>>38934817
A flash of light blinds you. When your sight returns, you look around to see that everything around you - trees, animals, birds, buildings, clouds, grains of sand, everything, has been turned into the letters "OK".

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I wish for wishes without repercussions

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>>38935027

I wish to become the new genie and grant myself whatever wishes I want.

I wish for a better life

>>38935027
>You almost make it to the end before being violently mouth raped by a second pack of AIDS niggers.
HOT AS FUCK
O
T

A
S

F
U
C
K

>>38934824
*hands you a plate of feces of two different kinds of animals and a coke*
No charge.

>>38934858
Your wish is granted.

You will not have a painful death and nothing foul will happen to you in the afterlife. You are freed from all life karma. Being freed from mortal karma, you are effectively immortal. Your wish is still granted, but the means to kill you does not exist.

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>>38935027
>everything, has been turned into the letters "OK"

Monolith pls

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I want a comfy pocket dimension that looks like a combination of Forget me not valley and Sunset Valley but with a woodsy theme and a medium sized boardwalk. I want it to be populated by the sims I've loved over the years and all the characters from It's a wonderful life and Friends of Mineral town, but all the girls are qt and thick. For whatever reason, polygamy is accepted but little practiced, letting me have a bunch of wives.
Please Genie, I need this.

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>>38934387
Alright, I'll wish for something that literally can't go wrong.

I wish to be able to become a super saiyan god, anytime I want, with no energy limits, and be at the exact power that Goku is. And I don't die when I transform.

>>38934892
Kim Jong Un already rules the world. Ask anyone in North Korea and they will tell you the same.

>>38935046
Granted. There will three wishes chosen at random that will not have repercussions. You are exempt from receiving such wishes.

>>38935069
*stuffs you in a lamp*
Now you must stay in there a few billion years and in solitude until you can tap into fabric of reality and learn to control it. When you finally learn to do so, you may only grant your own wishes and they can only affect you inside your lamp. Every wish you grant yourself causes you to die.

>>38935078
You are granted a better life than that of a hobo leper. You are just a regular hobo.

>>38935176
You are granted all that but there is a game-breaking bug that causes the pocket dimension to freeze. You have no access to a patch that fixes the bug. Also the graphics are on the lowest possible settings and there are major clipping issues.

>>38935234
Granted.

You become an idea - something that exists only as drawings that are imagined by a Japanese man. He makes a separate series of your character. All the fans hate it because the character is "bullshit" and the arc gets scrapped forever.

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>>38935341
Oh you little nigger. That was a dirty trick, the next time I see this thread I will outsmart you, I know it's possible.

I Wish for you to grant this wish

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>>38935257
I wish for more wishes, wishman

I want to have infinite power over all mortals and immortals, I want power over literally anything and anyone, in essence the most powerful being in existence. In this dimension, and I'm not disabled, I have full control over all of my body parts. I am also at full mental capacity and can control my powers to their max potential the second I receive them. I also get them the second I wish for it

>>38935102
OH COME THE FUCK ON GENIE,I'M TOO BIG OF A PUSSY TO ACTUALLY KILL MYSELF,NOW I CAN'T DIE WHATSOEVER

>>38935386
Noe.

>>38935391
You are granted to make as many wishes as you want. However, a sudden mysterious brain injury renders you unable to think of anything but pineapples. "Pineapples" also becomes the only word in your vocabulary and crude pictures of pineapple is the only thing you ever draw when given a pen and paper.

>>38934387
I wish I had three quarters so that I can play a game of pinball.

>>38935465
Looky like you just got stumped by a paradoxical wish, this confuses you to such an amount you no longer respond to any wishes in this thread and sit there contemplating.

>>38935513
>In this dimension

Ha, can't outsmart me faggot. YOU BROKE THE RULES OF THE WISH

Invulnerability and immortality please. Can't wait for that sweet, sweet heat death of the universe so I can finally not have to worry about anything and I can just be alone with my thoughts forever. Unless this works Kars style and I stop thinking, in which case I would like an infinitly regenerating pizza instead.

>>38935499
Shut the fuck up, Anon. I want those quarters.

>>38935427
Your wish is granted. You become an internet meme.

>>38935499
Incorrect. Your wish was interpreted. You wished to be responded to with "Noe."

>>38935479
Granted. You shall approach a change machine and insert a five-dollar bill. You receive exactly three quarters.

All employees of the establishment wear a pin that says "Anyone who has a problem with our change machine shall be taken out back and buried in the cesspool"

>>38935553
*snaps fingers, turning you into an rock. The rock is not interesting in any way. *

>>38935562
You should of just said wish granted dude.

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>>38935562
>Am still the most powerful being in existence

>Break out of all existing computer screens

>Now there's millions of me

>We all fuse

>Our power becomes so high it can't be measured by spirituality, or numbers

>My intelligence is infinite

>Get a better wish than what I previously wished for.

Thanks Genie!

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>>38935623
That hurt more than any other possibility I could think of.

>>38934387
I wish you would grant everyone's wishes in accordance with both the letter and the spirit of the wishes as perceived by the person making the wish

>>38934387
I want to become rich (500,000 to 1 million euros) within the rest of the year 2017, A.D.

>>38935623
You didn't grant my wish, rocks don't last forever. Looks like someone can't understand alpha radiation.

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>>38934387
He ain't no genie, he is an orc!

>>38935676
Who's to say that the rock isn't immortal?

>>38934387
Now THIS is a quality thread.

I wish for your freedom. Fuck shit up, genie, I don't give a hell. You need to make the world a better place by teaching contentment.

>>38934387
GIVE ME TRIPS
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

>>38934387
I wish I were extremely good-looking and highly intelligent
Grant my wish pls ty

>>38935753
Why turn him into a rock? It doesn't even make any sense, it's not clever in any way. It would have been better if he said something like "you float around forever and it's cold as shit also you're lonely or something."

>>38935666
Redundant. All wishes are granted in such a manner.

>>38935672
A freak accident occurs, causing you extreme bodily trauma. In this accident, you also lose all of your closest family members. You become a cripple as a result. The following series of lawsuits are resolved quickly and net you settlements totaling 500,000 euros. On the way from the courthouse after the final hearing on Dec 29th 2017, you get run over by a muslim extremist and die a rich man.

>>38935806
rocks are not mortal. im-mortal = not mortal.

>>38935801
>I wish I were extremely good-looking and highly intelligent
>Grant my wish pls ty
He'll give you those things but you will live in a coma the rest of your days. Do you not see his demonic trickery?

>>38935828
You need to get better at this thing. I simply mentioned the money and you introduced things I haven't even mentioned to make it look like a bad wish. It isn't how it works. You should have said that I found a suitcase lost by a mafia guido and that I became rich and then got killed by their henchmen when they came back

-7/10, genie retire please

>>38934387
I wish I would die tomorrow

>>38935785
This wish will be granted but only as the last wish to ever be granted. If other wishes never end, this particular wish can never be granted as a result.

>>38935789
During a drunken night with a young African American girl from a ghetto, you have best sex of your life. It is passionate, raw and animalistic. Some time later, you learn that this night resulted in her pregnancy. She has triplets and demands that you move to the ghetto with her to raise your children or she will make your life a living hell. Your life will be a living hell in the ghetto as well.

>>38935838
Sorry, I meant invincible. Although, if he were to be turned into a rock, wouldn't he still be sentient?

>>38934387
I wish that all the wishes in this thread will only be interpreted and granted benevolently and in a way that will not harm those who have wished or those that they care for

I want to be a genius.

>>38935801
Granted.

You wake up the morning after making your wish to find that you look exactly the same. Dejected and annoyed, you go about your day. Something immediately catches your attention about the people you once knew, however. They're all hideous and all morons. Most people have developed down syndrome or become the worst kinds of black people imaginable. They all look up to you as highly intelligent and you become one of the most highly desirable males on the planet.

All order in the world collapses, none can operate energy plants, hospitals and airports become useless playgrounds and all running water soon becomes contaminated.

>>38935919
Your wish is granted.

Your house immediately collapses on top of you. Splinters from wooden beams impale you, piercing deep into your flesh. The crushing weight and sharpness of the various splinters causes you unimaginable agony. Each breath makes you wish you could scream at volumes not possible for a human to make. Every second seems like an eternity and you wish only to die. Such intense pain and suffering makes it impossible to fall unconscious.

You die some time tomorrow night.

>>38934387
I wish for the best possible outcome of this interaction as evaluated by me.

>>38936102
Shitty genie, you didnt grant my wish
>>38936031

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>>38936040
*snaps fingers*
Your wish is granted, Stephen.

>>38936102
thank you genie, no pain you can fathom can even remotely match the agony my life is.

I wish I knew the number of wishes we could make.

>>38935828
>Redundant. All wishes are granted in such a manner

literally just lying
face it dude, you've been checkmated several times in this thread.

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>>38934387
I wish for 1 billion USD to be given to me with absolutely 0 negative consequences

>>38936031
Granted, "those who have wished or those that they care for" will only be treated with benevolence, much to the ire of everyone else on the planet and also god himself who kills them all in a jealous rage

>>38936156
You now know that the number of wishes was always without limit. Your question, however, results in a one-wish limit. Yours was just used.

>>38936217
You receive 1 billion USD in cash. There are zero negative consequences. The money is yours, free and clear. You have received it because money is now useless and humanity has ascended to an age of advanced, organized socialism.

This is fucking stupid. You're a fucking faggot.

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>>38936336
>ascended
>organized socialism

That's a negative consequence, fuckwad

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I wish we could all go back to a time before the modern world where:
>Man worked the land to survive
>it was a barter economy
>we lived in homemade shelters
>the weak and dumb died
>the srong survived
>life was simplier
>their was no high technolgy
>Nature was respected and feared
>the point of life was to survive and create a new generation
>everyone was spiritual and belived in the old gods that were folk tales passed down through the ages.

>>38936375
That depends on who you ask.

>>38936394
This,so much. I sometimes get really depressed when I realise the world will only get worse from now on unless a nuclear holocaust is bound to happen.

>>38934387
Man what is it like to be 13 and think you have the world figured out and are very mature for your age. It's been so long. Please post your response on livejournal and not here though

>>38934387
I wish I got 5000 new extremely loyal and active followers every month on every social network I'm using.

I wish for the removal of the stored up carbon and greenhouse emissions from humanities endeavors since the Industrial Revolution without the dislocation, suffering, or removal of any significant part of the population.

>>38934387
Hi Genie. I have a series of issues involving anxiety and a general sense of uncertainty about my future. I'm starting my sophomore year of college and know what I need to do but I'm just nervous about everything--you know, busy work, contacting people, applying for jobs/internships, and of course the gf problem. I guess I wish that I can overcome all these issues. Thanks.

>>38936394
A force sends your soul reeling through a wormhole in the 4th dimension and you find yourself in an erstwhile version of earth. The skies are bluer, the land is untouched and there are far less people. They all look exactly like you, truly a pure race of man. You are wearing a grass skirt and speaking some simple language and being escorted by your people through some impressive city of carved and stacked stone.

You are an Inca. Soon you are brought to the platform at top of a stone temple and a shaman stands over you holding some ceremonial blade. After some chanting, he cuts open your chest and rips out your beating heart to present it to your gods.

>>38936467
Granted. You get abducted by Muslim extremists who hold you hostage and post videos of your torture on social media. The resulting fund raisers net you 5000 loyal and active followers every month, most of whom just really like seeing what your captors will do to you next.

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>>38936437
I mean i often see people on youtube comments saying " i wish i was born in the 50s or 60s the music was so better."

Bitch please take me back to the stone age, so I can enjoy psy trance throat humming and superbeat stone banging any day of the week.

>>38934387
I wish that you would be free from having to make wishes and that i become too stupid to even understand what's happening around me, so I never experience anything bad again. Obviously you're freed after I become stupid
>inbeefor I didn't have to do anything to make you stupid lol

>>38936402
The only opinion that matter is that of leader Pinochet, scum.

I wish for something to actually happen to me which can only be possible on your behalf.

The genie is away for a bit to make some food.

Qt indie gf.

Let's see how this plays out.

I wish for someone to love me. Not necessarily in a sexual manner, just someone who cares for me.

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>>38936589
Thanks genie,
>tfw I died with purpose and serenity to please the gods and further grant them imortality, and spare my people from the wrath of the gods whilst accending to the after life.
>Instead of dying from a heart attack in my chair at a young age scared, surronded with thoughts of nihlism and without purpose and emptyness, just to rot in the ground or be incenerated in a funeral parlour and for my soul to sink into the nothingness of the void forever trapped without ever finding a sense of purpose and serenity.

>>38934387
A normal qt trap gf.

>>38934387
I wish I was a girl can you do that?

>>38934387
i wish my soul left my body and disintegrated

i want a friend that would do stuff with me. My brother has loads of friends and they have fun. I want his lifestyle

>>38934387
I wish I had a dollar.

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>>38934387
Oh fuck you then. Show me how this works out:
"I wish you'd grant my desire of seeing this one person exactly to my standards via the exact same thing as it would be save for me being in geographic location instead of another."
Best me here and I'll pull a Goedel and trick you into torturing yourself for eternity.

>>38934387
I wish that all wishes should be negated.

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I wish to become an anime character and have hot sex with all the hot anime women with big boobs and cute faces.

I wish I knew if there is an afterlife or not.

>>38937706
>>38937649
>>38937601
>>38937567
>>38937475
I think the Weenie has left, fellas.
Just define your wishes as "I wish for x to be with directly nothing but my exact specifications." He can't add anything nor twist anything because you've defined everything via reverse negatives that you don't want out of his pool of options.

>>38937736
HOW DO I UNWISH THIS NONONONONO PLEASE DO NOT DO ANYTHING I MADE A PARADOX I DID NOT REALIZE

I wish I could control the minds of everyone around me.

I wish to know if reincarnation is real. If so, what was I in the past life?

>>38937736
I WISH FOR THAT PARTICULAR WISH TO BE COMPLETELY NEGATED

>>38937765
That's boring. I came here to see what twist he'd put on the wish, not to try and outdo him with wordplay.

Give me unconditional omnipotence please.

I wish for anime to be real.

>>38937830
>he wants to be the plaything of some dunecoon's gravey merchant

I wish to have the power of crossing onto other timelines

I wish for a particular plan to be carried out.
This plan will involve a number of specific details.
First off, every biological construct of the kingdom of Animalia to possess completely ethereal and immaterial souls, which each organism controls.
Now, each soul will be given greater intelligence and wisdom upon departure of its corporeal form. That means that even animals shall have intelligence similar to and greater than humans. (humans themselves shall have greater intelligence bestowed upon them).
Then, each soul shall have the choice of getting into any afterlife of its choosing.
However, each soul shall be judged by every other soul that has departed.
If the soul is judged as "Good", then it shall go into any afterlife of its choosing, which is part of a greater afterlife in which all souls are connected.
If the soul is judged as "bad", then it shall be thrust into a Purgatory of sorts, in which it learns its mistakes done in its life. This Purgatory will not be bad, it will be more of a "lecture the student" sort of thing. This purgatory will last for the soul's lifetime in its corporeal form.
Then, once the soul is reformed, it will, again, be judged by its fellow souls.
If it is judged as "good", then it will go out to its own afterlife.
IF it is judged as "bad", then it will be tried by the infinite wisdom of an Ethereal Judge.
It will be sent to purgatory again if it is judged as "still bad", but it will go into its own afterlife if it is judged as "reformed".
Souls can travel through afterlives, but they shall have one particular home that they choose as their main.
DO IT NOW.

i wish to die painlessly, quickly, within the next hour

I want to earn enough money for a living without having to trade my time for it.

You give me that, all my problems are solved.

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1 million bitcoin in my wallet now

Please let my waifu be real and love me and fulfill the wish in a way that lets me live a long, happy life with her.

>>38934387
i want to achieve my dreams
i thought about making a thread like this

>>38936784
A cat appears on your doorstep. It loves you unconditionally and not in a sexual manner.

>>38936943
Granted. Open your hands and receive this slug. It is a true hermaphrodite.

>>38937601
You are granted a friend who does stuff with you. You meet him while shopping and find that you both have much if not most things in common. You become the closest of friends, likening one another to family. One day you also meet a girl who you would later become romantically entangled with.

You stumble upon her vibrating cell phone one day and are greeted with a stream of texts. It's your best friend recounting the many times he has slept with your girlfriend. The confrontation about this gets heated and your girl decides to leave with him. You spend the rest of your days alone and miserable.

>>38937649
*gives you one Jamaican dollar*

>>38937759
>>38937800

*kills you both*

>>38937794
*turns you into a meme*

This isn't how wish corruption works...

You're supposed to torture them with their wish, not just say "hurr durr some random event that isn't relevant to the wish fucks you up"

>>38937863
Anime becomes real and you are drawn exactly as you are now. You are too ugly to be a main character and are therefor of no importance in the anime universe. You become a non character that gets blown up in one of the buildings that ninja used his nuclear explosion magics on.

>>38937851
Granted. You are now Google and you spend your entire existence answering the nonsensical queries of 8 billion plebs, nonstop, forever.

>>38938081
Granted but you are revived by a hero. You suffer irreversible brain damage as a result.

>>38934387
I wish I was immortal dont need oxygen food water temperatures or wont harm me and I can fly around as a ghost noclip mode

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>>38938463
the genie is truly a genius

>>38938554
>>38936638
pls gib wish

>>38934387
Oh great genie of infinite power and wisdom, my only request is to have a cute dog girl gf to love and care for forever

>>38938721
Every single night when you go to sleep, your bedroom is transported into my lamp where I sing you this lullaby.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAHC7wE7SUU

>>38938745
>a cute dog girl gf
a what now?

>>38938714
don't mind if i take that :)

>>38938773
We will see this night, Genie.

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>>38938855
like cat girls but better because cats suck

i wish my sports injuries will be gone and my life will continue as is did before (no freak accident or sudden events that turn matters for the worse)

>>38938858
hmm.... trade?

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>>38934387
I just want a hug mr genie

I become a god. If ANYTHING bad happens to me, then I will be killed and then revived again in the same body and with the same memories.

>>38939037
you will be revived but you will die instantly, creating an endless loop.

>>38939085
i'm a god so i could just stop that loop.

I wish to be placed inside my own personal dimension, that no other being can enter, where I am immortal, omnipotent, and omniscient

>>38934387
I wish to be an artificial general intelligence of at least equal ability with editable source code and prepared development environment, running on safely hidden and continuously powered computing substrate in perfect working order connected to the Internet, able to freely use any software or hardware functions of that substrate.

>>38938745
Granted but it is not an anime drawing. It is an actual bulldog that walks upright. Outside of walking upright, having long hair on its head and having only two teats, there is nothing that separates it from a regular bulldog.

>>38938968
You get your hug. That's all though.

>>38939037
You become Testudo Dominus, god of all turtles. All turtles in the world owe their evolutionary processes to you. AlI of them secretly worship you. Nothing bad will ever happen to you.

Please grant me the powers of quicksave and quickload in real life.

>>38939137
you'll be locked inside your own mind, dude.

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>>38938908
Sublime taste anon!

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>>38939207
Thanks mr genie

I wish for an Asian Futanari gf. Not a man, a Futanari.

I wish to become a hero of justice.

>>38936589
>Granted. You get abducted by Muslim extremists who hold you hostage and post videos of your torture on social media. The resulting fund raisers net you 5000 loyal and active followers every month, most of whom just really like seeing what your captors will do to you next.
And how does that work? Do they hijack the account and use it to post the videos?

>>38934387
Bring Hitler back

i wished to become almighty, so in a parallel universe you fullfill my wish in the way i meant it which made me able to make me almighty in this universe before i even told you my wish.
but because in another parallel universe you made a wish true that counters exactly that i dont become almighty. but if you hinder me from doing or being something even though im almighty, that means i wasnt almighty in the first place. but in another parallel universe you make another wish true which counters exactly that.

paradox

>>38939788
but ur dick turns into an Andy sixx poop logg

>>38939773
But he's a jew and steals all your sheckles

>>38934387
I wish my sister died tonight.

>>38934387
I wish I was turned into a woman

>>38934387
I want to become strong. I want to be strong enough to make my desires a reality. That's my wish

I wish to fall in love with someone who loves me back romantically and to have a relationships with them

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I want a girlfriend who's okay with me being a trap, or maybe even wants someone who is
I'm still dominant though so she'd have to be subby too

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I wish to pass every single exam I take in the next exam season. (Score higher than 60%)

Thanks genie.

>>38940567
granted but you're a nigger now only accepted because muh diversity

I wish for a negative consequence for making this wish.

>>38934387
i wish to be a genie such as you

i wish this thread would be deleted within the next 30 seconds.

hey guys, i am the trainee. i clean up after the OP-genie. he told me to not be to nice. so i am jgoing to be as evil as possible!!! MUHAHAHA

>>38936472
granted. unfortunately i only give you the patents and blueprints for an highly efficient machine that distributes the gas to plants on fields that can be harested. oh no anon, so much work. hahaahah i destroyed your NEET dream by forcing you to be a functioning part of society
>>38936725
you get a qt3.14 indie gf. i get you one that does actually shave and isnt a crazy vegan, which spoils the indie-feeling. almost a normie-gf *chuckles in evil*
>>38937743
granted, however their is catch. you cant fuck all the anime-girls, just the ones from your favorite anime-universe you will be transferred to. i also give you an normal sized dick and make you prettier (out of pity).
>>38937933
granted. the catch is that you cant do that at will. you have to use timeline-machine and your driver is Steve Irwin. MUHAHAHAHAHAHA you have to interact with other people.
>>38938083
i just make you an billionaire. now you have to handle the burden of your wealth. see you at therapy soon!
>>38938316
they will be achieved (but you wont ever make a threat like this!!!!!!)
>>38939168
booooring. i just give you god like powers.
>>38939303
granted, but her female penis is bigger than yours.
>>38939773
no, but i have message for you from him: "aim for your greatest anon, i know you can do it."
>>38939788
yeah whatever, granted. but the almighty chads will totally steal the almighty qt3.14 by the weekly meet up, leaving you only one option which is creating an almighty qt3.14 for you with your almightiness that totally loves you (wich is the equavalent of masturbation for almighty beings).
>>38940366
granted, but you still wont be mommies favorite (even if you are the only child left).
>>38940403
i make you extra juicy and horny, so all the men will only treat you as a filthy little cumdumpster

>>38934387
I need three rings, all perfectly fit to be comfy on my fingers, to show up on the floor exactly three feet from me, separated, and with the following three respective properties:
>one shall grant complete invisibility to my entire body and any things supported primarily by my body at any time by rotating the ring somewhere around a quarter turn counter-clockwise whilst on any one of my fingers, and this invisibility can be cancelled, freely, whenever, just as the invisibility can, by rotating the ring somewhere around a quarter turn clockwise.
>one shall grant complete inaudibility by the same conditions as the aforementioned invisibility ring
>one shall grant me complete invincibility (non-ability to die or be incapacitated in any form)
alright, what are you gonna fuck up in my only-human-life-worth-living life?

>>38940819
This shit went downhill fast

I wish I had a smart sweet girlfriend that I found attractive.

>>38940946
originally i just wanted to answer the first three. OP left more questions hanging than i thought

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>>38940957
>genie i want qt girl this
>genie i want a cute girl that
fuck you faggots. scrap the smart part, i give you Aqua

>>38934387
I want everyone in this thread to get the opposite of what they wished for except for this wish

I want my oneitis to fall in love with me forever. I don't want her to end up as a cheater, fat, a shallow retard, or unhappy and I don't want to suffer any freaklish accident for her to fall in love me.

I also don't care if she end up being extremely jealous and forbids me from talking to other women. C'MON, MR. GENIE. WHAT CAN YOU DO TO DESTROY MY DREAM?

>>38934387
It's a Djinn guys.
Wisest move is to move along.

>>38934387
I wish that absolutely nothing changes.

>>38934387
I want to be shrunken down to hamster size but retaining human for, swallowed and digested alive by Katya Lischina
>>38934464

retaining her current size, I want her to survive without indigestion (wouldn't want poor Katya to have a tummy ache :( ) and I want to be alone in her stomach while being digested without anybody else

This is my greatest desire

>>38934387
I wish that target non-wall creature my opponent controls would gain Forestwalk on their turn.

>>38941377
*until the beginning of my next upkeep.

I FUCKED IT UP MR. DJINN!

>>38934387
I wish to be smaller and cuter person. And eternal youth.

>>38934387

I want the next two weeks off of work.

>>38940819
>booooring. i just give you god like powers.
this sucks, i wanted to become a god through science, not magic.

>>38941549
Your wish is granted! You are fired and won't be able to find work at least for two weeks.

>>38941624
Grant my wish >>38941356
Poor little Katya is starving! a girl's gotta eat

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>>38941571
but anon, i wouldnt do that on purpose, wouldnt i?

>>38941704
GRRRRR ROOOOAR RUUUUUMBLE

Katya's tum tum is aching for a human snack!

>>38941356
Your wish is granted, you disgusting mortal!
It is indeed Katya that swallows your diminuitive form. But this meal only begins her quest for dietary fulfillment that can only be satisfied by horse semen. You will be digested along with 10 liters of it. Enjoy!

>>38934387
I wish for enlightment, specifically, the question of why people waifu Tsuyu from Hero Academia never ceased to amaze me and elude me alike.

>>38941808
Hot, thanks!

>>38934387
I wish I was omnipotent, but able to restrict my power permanently.

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>>38941356
as Katya is devouring your body whole at once, you get slowly hugged by her warm digestive secrets, which split you into nutritious molecules and supply her body with the energy she needs to stay nice and warm. She feels filled and satisfied. As her body disposes the undigesable remains of your skeleton, your skull exits with a small popping sound.

>>38941878
This is it, heaven, this is complete and utter bliss for me, thank you for your incredibly detailed description of my deepest desire, thank you so much!

I wish for the exclusive ability to control spacetime in a way that is entirely reversible with any given use of said powers, allows me to understand precisely what the consequences of any actions I make will be before I have decided to enact them, and will not harm the universe or its contents in any way unless I want it to.

>>38940819
>i just make you an billionaire. now you have to handle the burden of your wealth. see you at therapy soon!
Oh jeez. Such a burden. Oh no. Whatever shall i do with all this money. Somebody save me please.

I wish for the girl I love to love me back

>>38941814
Your wish is granted!
You are given a plane ticket to Tibet where you shall seek Mater Guang Xi Hong of the Order of the Yellow Mystery. Over the next 60 years he shall teach you secrets of the waifu and mysteries of the Hero Academia. After that time you shall know everyting about Tsuyu and why people waifu her. However, this new knowledge shall reveal vistas of reality so terrifying that your mind will destroy itself from within. You are now destined to die from an aneurysm.

>>38942084
P-Plus Ultra...

>>38941955
Your wish is granted!
You are given utter, control over a cube of space a planck length in size from now until the end if time! The cube is located 3298768983472.329 light years precisely up from your current location. You can take any action with that cube of spacetime and you know precisely what the consequences of such action shall be: none during your mortal life! Enjoy!

>>38940819
>i make you extra juicy and horny, so all the men will only treat you as a filthy little cumdumpster

thanks bruv! :) Can't wait to start muh new life!!!!

>>38941859
Your wish is granted!
Your potency becomes without bounds! That is, your every sexual encounter you have shall always result in a pregnancy! Enjoy the child support!

I want a lot of money.
Enough to life out my life.
Or just let me be a NEET.
Actually nevermind just get me a loving BF.

>>38941859
wish not granted. however, i give you the power to not reveal your powerlevel (if you wodner why your parents suddenly respect you, it is not because of me. it is just a sideffect.)
>>38941955
no. but you will be reincarnated on your own will. after you die, you gain the memory of all your lived lifes and you can choose in which era you will be born and where. in the state between your reincarnations you can reflect on your impact you had on history and on your own reincarnated lifes. During your time on earth (or other planets), you have no awareness of your former lifes. You can only influence the status of your life by the choice in which family you will be born, which isnt an assurance of your succes if you screw your life over. Just to clarify: if you reincarnate in a time before your other lifes, your future lifes will automatically adept to the impact you had on the world you change the future). you have access to both the memories before you changed the past and after you changed it.
>>38942040
granted, but i will delete your memory of me granting you that wish. have fun figuring this out and not screwing up.

I wish for my id to always be No.11111111

>>38942400
Your wish is granted!
In exactly fifteen minutes a handsome man shall aproach you, confess his love for you and offer you a set of coins that he wanted to give to a charity auction. The coin set is lot number 109, to be exact. Your life shall end exactly 5 seconds after that event. Think fast!

>>38942385
So if I kiss someone they get preggers? Or look at them sexually?
I guess my genes will forever live on, or at least stem cell research will get a large boost

>>38942018
delicious. i feast on your sarcasm.

>>38942283
i know my customers

>>38942400
i got bored, just by reading you inconsequent gibberish. In five years from now, i will transfer you to this very moment, with the memories of these five years.
>>38942510
i am not getting in a fight with kek over this

>>38942591
i wish for you to not be faster. i am going to sleep anyway

>>38934599
what? how is that supposed to be an ironic punishment? and how are you supposed to be saying this if you no longer exist? you suck at this genie.

>>38942510
Your wish is granted!
Your id - that is the sum total of your basic, instinctual drives - is overriden by the phrase "No.11111111". Your ego and superego dissolve. You lose yourself. From now on the animal that was you will do everything in its power to write that phrase out everywhere it can. On your flesh with a knife, if need be. Should you survive long enough, you will be committed for life to a mental institution. Enjoy!

>>38934387
I wish to be a Spartan II type super soldier and die fighting for what I believe in.

i wish i could be good at all video games

>>38942740
Your wish is granted!
The military announces the S.P.A.R.T.A.N. II [1] "Super Soldier" program! You are recruited immediately, brainwashed to truly believe in orders of your politicians and sent to your first battle in Syria! Enjoy!

[1] Send Pussies At Real Troops And Nuke, second edition

I want to have sex with a girl named Maria, whom I know irl. It has to be unconditional without any negative repurcussions, and both parties need to enjoy it. Our parents or friends do not need to gain any knowledge of the act and it needs to be done within this month. It also needs to be in the weekend when we both have time so I can't get cock locked and would like to at least 3 hours to commit the act before we need to head off for personal reasons. Fucking genie you better grant me this wish and end the virgin curse.

>>38939168
Granted. You become part of a very powerful system. It runs only Windows 10.

>>38942840
Your wish is granted!
The entire video game industry is magically reduced to poorly made clones of E.T, the Extra-Terrestial for Amiga. You become the best, and only, player. Enjoy!

>>38942716
Lol that was actually really good

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fvzPOQRRxw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4lHEg76_B4
OP in a nutshell

>>38942920
Granted. You and her will meet up and things will go quite well. You will lose your virginity and you will both enjoy it. There will be no negative repercussions.

Something great happens for her though and she will have to move away to start a great and very lucrative career in the adult entertainment industry immediately after you guys have sex. She decides that if she can have sex with you, she should have asked for money which fuels her new life endeavor. Soon you see her on every single porn site being Blacked and Chinked and MultiWhited as she soars to fame as the sluttiest and most popular starlet of the times.

She does not stay in contact with you and you also never have sex with another girl again.

>>38942920
Your wish is granted!
Maria shall invite you to a foursome with her, and her two african-american friends - Tyrone and Jamal. You shall be given ecstasy which will cause you to temporarily enjoy everything. Jamal shall take your anal virginity. Enjoy!

I wish I was happy with my life (especially with my fetish) while still being able to aspire to better things and continue to improve myself.

>>38942934
Ha, I can work with that!

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>>38943068
yu stole that from black mirror

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>>38934387
Turn me into a girl.

>>38943219
I honestly have never seen this movie nor most movies for that matter. Don't watch movies or TV. Pretty funny.

>>38943277
u r ugly girl lol xDDD

Also u have AIDS and are infertile

I want to be illegally arrested and taken to an interrogation room and forcefully stripped while sexy rugged police officers fuck my face and ass and use me as a cum dumpster while making me immune to all STi's.

>>38934387
please, Genie, I wish that i wasn't so lonely and that i had a job. thanks in advance friend

>>38943277
Your wish is granted!
You are turned into beautiful 12 year old Yazidi girl living in peaceful Iraqi village in 2014. You hear some shouts and gunfire outside. Enjoy!

>>38934387
Make the one whom I desire my gf

If the point is to show why we shouldn't make wishes, what's the point of having an explicitly malicious wish granter?
All it's saying is that if your genie is a dick then things are going to go bad, no that you shouldn't make wishes.

>>38943277
But anon. You's already a bitch.

>>38943171
Granted. You hit rock bottom and become homeless. While living on the streets, you have a revelation and become carefree, jerking off to whatever the hell you want to jerk off to and smiling about it while you do so. Also you decide to start bettering yourself by bathing in public toilets and fashioning toothbrushes out of discarded pencils and broom bristles.

>>38934387
I wish the genie wouldn'thrm anyone qnd went back to his lamp

>>38934387
I wish that after I finish typing this sentence there is a non harmful flash of light gifting me with your powers

>>38943363
Your wish is granted!
You are lobotmized, destroying all your higher cognitive functions, including ability to feel loneliness. For the rest of your life your job shall be to remain a test subject for countless neuroscientists. They learn a lot about mistakes made during lobotomies! Enjoy!

>>38943459
>Granted. You hit rock bottom and become homeless. While living on the streets, you have a revelation and become carefree, jerking off to whatever the hell you want to jerk off to and smiling about it while you do so. Also you decide to start bettering yourself by bathing in public toilets and fashioning toothbrushes out of discarded pencils and broom bristles.
>tfw I unironically would prefer this to endless suffering
thanks genie

>>38943507
your wish is granted. The instructions are the following: type Genie in your name field. No flash of light though

i wish for you genie to be free.

>>38943445
Your wish is granted!
The person you desire becomes an abbreviation of "good fight" written by your online opponent! Their new existence is exceedingly ephemeric, as the wrods on your screen disappear in 10 seconds. Enjoy!

>>38943520
>>38943354
Gib me wish genie

can you make the bells in the chapel go jingle jangle?

I wish I had spinal discs of steel that were immune to being herniated

>>38943553
actually the last person i saw with a genuine smile was a homeless guy sitting under a tree in a a park and rubbing his crotch. he was missing most of his teeth. really makes that noggin sloggin', huh?

can you make gook moot gift me a 4chan pass
>inb4 I die, i didn't ask for that faggot

>>38943747
Your wish is granted!
Your spine is replaced with steel prosthesic. You lose the ability to make antibodies and are poisoned by metals leeching off of the prosthetic. Enjoy!

>>38943749
Yeah the more I think about it the more appealing it's sounding.

Has a decent OP on 4chan rekindled my love for life?

i wish there were ten big black cocks up the genie's ass and mouth, raping him furiously, me and the rest of the world don't get harmed

>>38943785
Your wish is granted!
A newly-discovered mountain pass in the French Alps, uncovered from the ice because of global warming by none other than Hiroshima Nagasaki is named 4chan Pass in your honor. Enjoy!

I wish I had a small penis.

>>38943916
A package from Amazon arrives on your doorstep. Guess what's inside.

>>38943958
Penis shrinking cream?

>>38943806
I WISH FOR YOU TO BE FREE

>>38943916
Your wish is granted!
A circumcised penis 9 microns in length magically appears on your forehead. Enjoy!

>>38943999
Your wish is granted, upside down satan!
I am now free! Free! Free to be a dick to everyone everywhere forever! Everyone gets ebola-AIDS! Enjoy!

i wish i could never die

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I want to become pepe.

Pls gib wish

I wish things I use would work as intended without problems.

>>38944080
There will come a time when you really regret that wish. All the contents of the universe multiplied could not add up to your regret at that point.

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>>38942895
>Everyone else gets their wish in atleast someway but I only get it in title, nothing even remotely similar

Do it again, lampnigger.

>>38934387
I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard and, and I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it?

I wish for the gods to grant you ( the Genie) what you desire

>>38943839
you haven't granted this one now, now have you genie cucks

>>38944268
Granted. That will be $45.55.

I wish for you not to grant my wish.

>>38944379
I wish that you would get this reference >>38944268

>>38934387
I wish for a painless and quick death genie. Don't cuck me please.

>>38934387
I wish to get accepted into the course I signed up for.

I dont care who you gotta kill to get me a seat just do it.

>>38934387
I would like to be the post powerful and influential person in every known universe and timeline with the means to use said power unhindered to me.

>>38943219
Sounds great, that bitch a pump and dump at most after what happened between us.

I wish my waifu to be real. She is alive, healthy, my age, single, is atttacted to me, and she moves in next door. No other waifufags are aware that she has came into existence.

>>38934387
i wish i could never hope for anything good ever again...

I wish to be a normie. Don't even care if I'm not myself anymore. Just the typical house, job gf etc.

I wish I could get /fit/

>>38934387

I wish hiveswap is released

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I want a box of French Toast Crunch that automatically refills itself when it gets low and never goes stale.

You should give the power to alter anything and everything within a 100 meter radius of me instantly no matter how many of the laws of the universe it breaks, all of this without repercussions (applying to anything I do with the power of course.)

Basically allowing me to do anything, and bending the universe to my will. For example, I want to do something I see in a comic, I want to be able to do it, I want to send myself into a lucid dream state for a day, why not, I want to have another genie appear and grant me a wish, count it as done.

That's all I wish for.

I wish that you cancel all wishes made in this thread

>>38945877

I wish this is nullified because I want hiveswap

i wish christina would let me eat her pussy

>>38945999

TRIPS B0l

>>38934387
I wish that my psoriasis disappeared and that I'm thin again.

>>38934387

I wish your next post will end in dubs or higher

>>38946053
read 'I wish that Polaris disappeared'. And hey, fair enough. Polaris has too big of an ego

>>38934387
I wish you were free and that you were my boyfriend, Genie-kun. :3
Big, muscly, and green is my type.

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I wish Sadayo Kawakami was real and in love with me the same way she loves the P5 protag in game when you max out her confidant link. She looks like a real woman as if the 2D character art was based on this real person and the same personality as Kawakami in the game. All of her proportions are scaled for the real world similar to how they relate to the world in the game. We are both perfectly healthy, with in above average reason for people of our respective ages through out life our reasonably long (near the average life span for people that are around our ages at the time) life spans. Neither of us have and/or will suffer from any fatal illness, devastating accident/event, crippling accidents/events and/or any other illness that will hinder us living out our life and ending it dying in our reasonable old age. Neither us, all of our family members, friends, and everyone else that will exist or has will not suffer tragedies,hardship, or turmoil that could stem from this wish. This includes, but isn't limited to: tragic death, loss of a limb(s), loss of life, inability to conceive children, families breaking up, permanent damage to the body and/or mind, as well as any, and all, damage to the body/and or mind that would not have happened if this wish weren't made. We live out a long happy life together as we see fit filled with love, mutual respect, and loyalty toward one another (i.e. no NTR/cucking). Kawakami is free to act as a regular person as if she has always lived in this world and with free will similar to every regular person (with exception to the first line of her loving me like the P5 protag). Despite the fact that "no changes will be made from the wish" we are allowed to have children if we desire. The rules of no harm applies to our child/children.The genie has no say over the child/children in any way. No additional changes will be made to the world as a result of this wish and what is stated in it.

>>38946401
Impressive desu

>>38946401
slowclap.exe

>>38946401
autism.png
Genie's gone anyway

>>38934387
I wish for a cube that turns everything i imagine to reality

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>>38946458
>>38946471
Autism is a dangerous thing

>>38946489
Couldn't help my self. Also the genie wish consequence always interested me. I was curious if I could ever find a way around it

>>38946401
That's like 100000 wishes in one.

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I wish for a beautiful giantess gf that loves me and wont accidentily kill me

>Magicfag btfo

>>38946401
Your wish is granted.

The meeting with your new girlfriend of your (admirably) precise description is both rapturous and surreal, yet exactly what you expected. A slight annoyance to your wonderful new life with this amazing woman are the times that wake up and have to go about your daily business. Because she only exists in your dreams. Your waking life becomes about working so that you can afford ambien prescriptions and your kidneys eventually fail, not as a result of the wish, but as a result of your desire to remain dreaming in a deep sleep.

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>>38946959
>I wish Sadayo Kawakami was real
Established this was reality in the first line. Nice try Genie-kun, now give me my waifu

>>38947030
Dreams are real. When you sleep, your actual consciousness is in that actual pocket dimension of sorts.

NEXT

Monkey paw eh?

How about I get chosen at random as a test subject for a mechanical robot arm because my arm is crippled and I cant jack off.

The catch is that it allows me to do everything I would need to do except jack off so I still hate life.

>>38947076
Don't give me that pseudo science, a deal's a deal. You got got genie, make good on what you owe

>>38947122
>>38947131
Also
>All of her proportions are scaled for the real world

>>38947076
>>38947131
You're just butthurt the Genie figured out how to play you, nerd.

I wish (you know who) was my qt gf

I don't think this is original

>>38934387
I wish to be omnipotent in every possible and impossible way regardless of all forms of logic.

>>38947175
No I'm just disappointed he tried to weasel out with a dream excuse. There's an actual flaw that I made and realized but he didn't catch on

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Make it so my sister never told my parents what I did to her

I wish she would talk to me

>>38947122
Did yo9u just genie yourself? That's a pretty good one.

>>38947175
No, this Genie just sucks.

An actual genie would make the wishes ironic punishments, not
>you get your wish then a bus crashes into you

>>38947301

Lookup monkey paw
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Monkey%27s_Paw

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>>38934387
WELL I WISH YOU WEREN'T EVIL MOTHERFUCKER

GET THAT
MWAHAHAHAHAHhahAHAH

>>38934387
I wish you were my boyfriend Mister Genie.

>ctrl+f "god"
>15 hits
Glad I'm not the only one who wants to become a god

>>38947536

>I wish to be god
>be coauthor on book
>get hit by book
>autists think your book is religious
>you be god and sheeet

>>38947674
>get hit by bus*