It's that time again where we simulate what it would be like living together
Welcome to the robot house.
first of all it wouldn't be a nice mansion.
probably just a crusty trailer park or something
second there would be cum rags and anime pillows and pizza bites and hot pocket sleeves everywhere
third of all epicureanism is gay af
Well as a fembot, people would alternate between raging at me and trying to fuck me. The fembots would eventually form a little tumblr-like clique and we would compete for the attention of the Alpha Robot. Some of you fuckers would be more desirable than others, that's just how large groups work..
I unironically want to live in a house with all of you.
everyone is a faggot or would become a faggot
>>38890858
There are no fembots allowed in the R9K mansion. No faggots either.
I'd imagine a lot of fights would break out. I mean, just considering the amount of arguing that takes place on this board.
>>38890889
Then everyone would eventually become a faggot or a tranny because of their massive thirst.
We're going to need a need a new internet plan. 100mbits shared is just not working out.
Can you motherfuckers keep it down?! I'm trying to sleep.
>>38890892
All disputes would be settled with contests of skill. That, or public debate.
>>38890889
Lol butthurt misogynist is insecure about his tiny penis
"Champs, your house mother and I have been getting worried about you, and we think it's time you got a job. I'm driving all of you to look for one, and I won't take no for an answer. It's as simple as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. Why the gloomy face? It's just four simple steps, Champs."
>Be living in robot house
>Leave house only to buy more drugs
>Always on LSD or high off weed
(Don't think id be much fun robots)
>>38890914
All the debates would probably end with both sides seeing who could reeeeee the loudest.
>>38890905
Nah. Group hooker special. If you get a steady gf you must leave.
>>38890892
Very few or no physical fights would break out.
Lots of arguements happen on the board cause when you're anonymous, you can say almost anything without any reprecussions. The robot who tells you to "kys" online wouldn't act the same face-to-fave for fear of physical confrontation.
>>38890862
I would seriously buy a house with robots if no one tries to kill me
In my own theory I did no research for I believe this mansion would end up looking like a hoarder den or the robots would use their autism to create a new company similar to apple.
Hey everybody. I hope we can all get along in this absolute shithole of a house.
>>38890862
That would be unironically unbearable.
>>38890858
Same goes for you fembots. The Alpha Robot would only want to fuck the hottest out of you bunch.
>>38890847
Lets pretend a guy died and in his will he gave this Mansion to the entirety of /r9k/
>>38890921
Thanks dad.
>>38890912
I'm with this guy!
I'll lock myself in the router room and demand $100 if you don't shut the fuck up!
Chad here, one of you is going to have to give up your room so I can move my gym equipment in.
Also, stay the fuck out of the kitchen on Mondays, that's when I do my meal prep for the week. Nerds.
>>38890920
I don't recall asking you for a response, cunt. Keep your cock holster shut and your shite comments to yourself, roastie.
OKAY WHO FUCKED UP THE TOILET WITH THEIR SKIDMARKS AND LEST THEIR CUM ON THE SINK???????
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>38890825
The basement now belongs to the church of ilias
heathens and monsters will be destroyed.
>>38890951
*shoots chad, chops him up in the bath tub, throws the remains through a wood chipper*
No one saw anything.
WHO THE FUCK CUM IN THE SHEETS AGAIN?
EVEN IN MY PILLOW
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>38890929
Reeee'ing is a valuable skill, anon. How else are we supposed to tell normies to get out?
>>38890967
wouldn't hanging chad make more sense
OUCH! schizophrenic anon just fucking bit me again. Seriously guys, stop hiding his medication, it's not funny anymore
>>38890921
I went to the manager at the local Safeway, but I shook his hand so firmly I broke it.
>>38890986
I prefer bloody ways, and i've always wanted to through body parts through a wood chipper.
Memes aside this would probably work.
If you had a few hundred people we would only need to chip in a few dollars each a month to rent a big castle or something.
I'm bringing Evalion to the house, she's my waifu be gentle and polite with her you bunch of degenerate faggots
Hope y'all have some real fuckin immune system going on because this house is gonna get b a d
My conversation with house dad a few minutes ago
>"Champ, we spoke to your grandparents and they said they want you to come to Guangzhou to live with them so they can make your normal again. What do you think?"
>I'm not sure, I'll think about it
>"Don't be ridiculous, Champ. You'll make a lot of friends out there and learn to live a little. Remember to greet your grandparents by bowing to them and shaking their hands."
>okay I'll think about it and let you know
Call me when they drop the boulder onto piggy's head.
>>38890921
BUT DAAAAAD
I DONT WANT TO WORK
>>38891004
Not really, i like to clean.
Welp, looks like Jamal stole all the ps2 games again.
>>38890825
Man well will you look at that my onahole's missing
Imagine the stench of every robot accumulating in one house
>>38890997
It fucks up the wood chipper. Doesn't work like in the movies.
>>38890951
Someone get me the glock, I'm gonna pop a cap in this chads ass. He doesn't deserve to be put in with us.
>>38890958
>>38890980
Check with the Autistic guy upstairs. He does stuff like that sometimes.
>>38890929
All debates between robots will be settled by a random choice by the flip of a coin or a game of chess. However, debates between normies/chads and robots will be settled by a REEEEEE'ing contest.
>>38891002
Don't show her the basement.
And make sure you don't let the guy with Schizophrenia near her.
stop fucking downloading your weird porn anon i'm trying to watch Netflix with my gf
>>38891017
Get in the car, kiddo.
>>38891056
>gf
OUTSIDERS LEAVE
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
"I'M HERE NOW, NO PROGENY OF MINE WILL LEAVE WORK UNFINISHED. NOW YOU MARCH BACK THERE THIS INSTANT, SPEAK WITH THE MANAGER, LOOK HIM IN THE EYE, AND GIVE HIM A GODDAMN HANDSHAKE!"
i'd be mad as fuck if pic related happens because one of you fuckers decided to download some CP
We'd have to do the gregorian reeee at 5am every morning on a loudspeaker to clear the neighbourhood for our glorious new kingdom.
Link related: https://youtu.be/N4x0J3g8CZU
>>38891099
We can all share the blame and be prison neet
>pulls out glock
>pulls out cock
"just bend over and close you eyes and I'll treat you nice and gentle anon. If you scream I'll blow your fucking brains out"
>>38891099
You know it'll happen at least twice.
>>38891072
still for a month here kid now turn it off before i ask my dad the landlord to kick your ass out nerd
>>38891099
frankly, it would be worth it just to see a pedo get fucked up. Finally watch that anonymity come crumbling down for retribution.
WHO THE FUCK WELDED A METAL DILDO ONTO MY CUSTOM-BUILT STATUE OF THE MILKMAN REEEEEEEEEEEE
*pulls his pants off*
*starts running around the house*
try to stop me :^)
DONT TOUCH MY LP COLLECTION YOU GAY FUCK REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>38891139
>implying they wouldn't just detain all of us
Did I give you permission to enter my quarters and speak with me?
>schizophrenic anon is having sex with all the groceries again
I guess this is life now
>>38891099
>pic related
IT WAS NOT ME
It Was No Me
it was not meeeeeee
>>38891012
This faggot better not film another gangbang porn shoot in the house or I'll send his ass to China myself
IF ANY OF YOU TOUCH MY NENDOROIDS I WILL FUCKING SCREEAAAAAAAMMM
I imagine a few of the tards will start a project without any safety gear and one of them dies. Then it'll be like Fight Club where they keep it behind closed doors and gather round him, chanting "His name was Wojak Feelson"
Okay, robots, i know i'm asking you a lot, but today is the annual cleaning day. I rented a truck for all the garbage, but i need some help to put it away. Since we don't want to deal with the look of the normies, we will do this at 11pm.
I'm bringing my little cousin later, you degenerate fucks better respect her
She's mine
MINE
>>38891202
DONT TOUCH MY STUFF
IT MIGHT BE USEFUL SOME DAY
>>38890825
This is a solved problem, pic related is the ultimate answer
This is how the grass would look like because nobody would ever leave the house
the choco-hoop cereal is mine. if i found out anyone been eating it i swear to god.
>>38890825
*wakes up beside cute animu friend* Wow, this is going to be one pleasant day! *Proceeds to clean virtually everything in the house and make my room-mate breakfast in return for a hug*. It would verily attain a sense of comfort should we collectively live together though we'd have to organize sleep schedules.
My parents are coming over for dinner, clean up your piss jugs and hide your anime pillows. This is important to me
>>38891020
Hahahaha, Im fucking done
Bump
>>38891222
I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT YOUR PISS-BOTTLES ARE USELESS ! YOU'RE NOT THE FUCKING SNIPER FROM TF2 OR WHATEVER
>tfw the other anons see me fapping to sissy hypnosis
>tfw the other anons find the cummy container
Hello, Chad thundercock order 25 pizzas for a group of people called "urra gaylord" i repeat need to find 25 people in this masion called "urra gaylord" and give them pizza, all covered in pineapples.
I am not leaving until i get paid!
This Thread is fucking gold
everyone would get a room like in pic related
You guys thought it was so fucking funny to bukakee my hamster when I left this morning but now he's dead, FUCKING DEAD
YOURE MONSTERS
>>38891389
>"Oh y-yeah, that's me lemme just get my walle-
>Hits you over the head with a hammer
>Takes him to the sex dungeon
>free pizza
>>38891389
plus tip, right?
This would only work if there are no females.
>>38891389
>masion
hon hon hon oui
>>38891109
Underrated.
How do we deal with the cops that show up after the noise complaint?
>>38891234
I would actually cut the grass and take care of the garden. Somehow, it relaxes me
*blares so loudly that you could hear it all over the house*
IT'S BEEN A LONG ROAD
GETTING FROM THERE TO HERE
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME
BUT MY TIME IS FINALLY NEAR
AND I WILL SEE MY DREAM COME ALIVE AT LAST
I WILL TOUCH THE SKY
AND THEY'RE NOT GONNA HOLD ME DOWN NO MORE
NO, THEY'RE NOT GONNA CHANGE MY MIND
'CUZ I'VE GOT FAITH OF THE HEART
GOIN' WHERE MY HEART WILL TAKE ME
I'VE GOT FAITH TO BELIEVE
I CAN DO ANYTHING
I'VE GOT STRENGTH OF THE SOUL
NO ONE'S GONNA BEND OR BREAK ME
I CAN REACH ANY STAR
I'VE GOT FAITH
I'VE GOT FAITH, FAITH OF THE HEART
>>38891443
>Chad proceeds to lose his job for not delivering on time
>Cannot find a job elsewhere as this has been his only job and a dismissal reflects badly on his CV
>Can barely support himself and is rapidly becoming destitute
>Panics due to trauma-derived PTSD and cannot think straight
>Spends most days crying and wishing that he wasn't born
>>38891493
[muffled eurobeat coming from the basement]
>>38891471
Attack of course and then get mass-arrested
pic related
>>38891443
>teleports behind you
nice try fuck boi
but I'm not ordinary delivery man
now I'll ask you again
where is the money
>>38891455
yes
>>38891516
S-Sorry sir but we... um....
DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY
*activates magical wizard powers*
*teleports behind you*
OMAE WA MO SHINDEIRU
*proceeds to shit all over the pizza*
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAaAA
>>38891480
I think the OCD anons would keep the filth in the common areas to a minimum as well
>>38890914
>ANON DID YOU TAKE MY FUCKING RAINBOW DASH PLUSHIE YOU KEK
>YEA AND WHAT ARE YOU GUNNA DO ABOUT IT
>SMASH BROS, NO ITEMS FOX ONLY, FINAL DESTINATION!
s-so I just called some escorts for tomorrow night robots
If you guys chip in I can call again for more
>>38891609
What a lad, but, this seems to imply that we're not all extremely gay
and/or too shy to engage professionals
>>38891480
Could we both play that album and have a picnic near the tall grass? That'd be real comfy.
Hey guys lets have a LAN party!
Ill pay for the snacks, and weed if anyone wants some?
UNCLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAN
>>38891696
Only if the games on the list are obscure mid 90s pc games
>>38891719
I fucking hate you so goddamn much
>he unironically wants to play games that came in cereal boxes
>>38890825
I'd love to bring girls to the house knowing horny virgins are sitting outside jerking off to the sound of my body slapping against hers
>>38891771
Thats gross bro
>>38891796
I thought there was a no faggots allowed policy in this mansion?
>OKAY WHO THE FUCK ORDERED TRAPS
>>38891840
Theres also a no normies policy roasite licker
>>38891956
Oh. I'm not a normie I'm a robot.
Can you people please leave? My gf is complaining how you're home all the time and we want some privacy
>>38892103
>swing my piss bottle with the force of a 2 ton arm against your gf's head
>>38892103
ITS MY TURN TO WATCH MOVIES
GET OUT
>>38891471
We sing this and we hope they go away
http://vocaroo.com/delete/s0U6wYcYmAkD/4765983547fe195c
>>38892290
I'll chant memes with you all day long anon
>>38890825
>stars blasting link related on the surround speakers
https://youtu.be/dKnoOdDLy4o
>>38892321
We could have a video channel on vimeo or vid.me and make money off of memes. It'd be a good source of income.
Hug your roommate! Well? What are you waiting for. Hug your roommate! Post results in the message board located in the commons.
>>38892720
>Who the fuck made that faggot thread
>>38891766
Of course it's ironic
I'm having a girl over tonight can you guys keep it down for me?
>>38892931
It's only ironic if you wear shutter shades while you're playing
>>38893264
How do you see the game then?
>>38890825
It would be filled with normies and roasties since the reddit invasion began approximately 3 years ago. They were successful.
It would be a micro society, there would be robots of this micro society.
Double robots, the dregs of the dregs
>WHO LEFT THEIR CUM SOAKED UNDIES AND DIRTY DISHES IN THE SHOWER
>>38893143
*turns up Kidz Bop CD*
I'm a pretty decent cook so as long as somebody keeps the place stocked then I'll cook for you fools.
>>38891216
>goddamnit who stole my loli onahole again???
>>38890945
let's make it happen anon. I am a nice bo
>>38891508
Anons racing junked beaters around a significantly excavated basement
Structurally weakened, house collapses
Shingo crashing music plays
>>38890825
>*sits silently in room on computer browsing /r9k/
>*nervously makes way to kitchen hoping to avoid everyone
>*nods to other robot who is unforunately also getting food
>*goes back to room
>>38890858
>Alpha Robot
So is this the person that is the best at being a robot, or the robot closest to being alpha?
>>38894267
I think the latter
>>38890858
>two posts into discussion
>WELL AS A FEMBOT
like clockwork
"this thread on CW was filmed in front of a live studio of normies"
>frame goes to two robots(one of them being the boring protag no one cares about) discussing philosophy or something
>suddenly a booming voice is heard upstairs
"ALRIGHT WHO TOOK THE LAST TENDIE"
>thunderous laughs from the normies occur as a 400lbs man waddles down the stairs
>>38891542
Jokes on you
Those pizzas were fake
Now you've fallen into my trap