Gotta have a good whine, this is not an interesting story so

>That same year, my brother graduated from the best uni in Australia with an STEM bachelor's degree with honors
>I spend the same year as a friendless hikikomori NEET
>Be severely depressed since age 12
>Be severely ridden with general anxiety since age 12
>Have severe social anxiety since age 12
>Unable to function in public/social settings
>Brother is a social butterfly
>Spent late childhood and teen years giving my brother massages
>Tried so hard, until my hands hurt every night
>So lonely, always seeking his approval
>Always chasing small bursts of self-worth every time he said it felt good [to the sick fucks, no, this is not going sexual]
>Every night give him massages, seeking acknowledgement, trying to spend time with a fellow human, seeking approval, while not studying, failing my classes
>Every Christmas, every birthday, every Easter, he is showered with gifts from kids and parents
>Came home with every time w/ multiple boxes literally filled to the brim with chocolates, candies, bottles of wine, snacks, cards, and
various nicknacks addressed to him. His room is packed with that shit for half the year every year
>I swear to fucking God I am not exaggerating
>Needless to say, I have never received a gift from anyone outside the family
>Brother eats out with friends multiple times per week
>I'm always eating with my parents
>Tfw they ask if I know when he'll be back and where he is, forcefully reminding me every week
>Brother is a high ranking black belt and beloved instructor at his martial arts thing
>Modelled for them, his handsome face is on the company's vans and brochures
>Brother is currently making 70-80k per year, and has been for a couple of years
>Spend life alternating between making <10k and being a hikikomori NEET
>No matter who he goes with, he never lets me come and eat out with him
>Every NYE celebration, same story, I'm at home, he's out
>So painful, at the 2015-16 NYE I go out alone anyway so I don't have to face that feel

>Greentexted the experience on R9K, first reply was word for word "Jesus Christ anon, that's fucked"
>Brother just bought an appartment that's currently being built
>Fancy as fuck, prime location
>Looks as though I'll be living with my parents for the foreseeable future
>Drive parents' car, they pay for my phone bill, petrol, insurance, everything
>Bro pays for 100% of his shit
>He gets along swell with the family
>Meanwhile dad hates me, has without provocation called me a "bastard ching chong"
>Alternate between being severely depressed but not suicidal and severely depressed and suicidal
>Can't talk to anyone about my racial issues because pure blooded Caucasians and Asians don't understand
>Grew up having Asians roast me for being "white", and whites for being "Asian"
>Brother, being Caucasian looking, roasts me for being "Asian" as if he's 100% Caucasian
>Parents, especially Asian mum, openly racist towards Asians
>Talked shit about Asian men when I was a boy
>Tfw sad pepe 11 year old feeling like a piece of shit chink
>Be an effiminate sounding, non-existent libido, sexless mute
>People ALWAYS think I'm gay and don't believe me when I tell them I'm not
>Go entire days saying <5 words all day
>Brother has a confident, loud, deep voice
>What do? Suicide? Heroin?
>No one acknowledges or asks me about my issues, everyone turns a blind eye to me and sweeps it under the rug
>Contemplate daily
>Can tell family worries about a potential Day of Retribution
>Mum sees me standing next to a kitchen knife while toasting some bread
>Mwf she moves it away from me
>Find solace in taking up weed (as of 2 days ago) and skateboarding

i hope you feel better soon
no one deserves to lose the genetic lottery

This shit's sad as hell, anon. I'm sorry

Weed will help numb the pain anon.
But it sucks losing the genetic lottery, can't say I understand because I got decently lucky with it.
How tall are you?

>>38882583
5'9"to5'10"
About 5cm taller than my brother.

>>38882060
>>38882067
>>38882086
This shit is literally me except I'm a castizo and my older half brother is white; I'm a failure, he's actually white and my family are redpilled so I knew from the start that they were superior. My dad's also a Chad and has used me to attract other girls and cheat on my mother. Fucking hate going outside with him as well; he's an old 45 year old piece of shit and I'm almost half his age and he still gets attention. Women try to avoid contact with me while they are ALL over him. Fucking white Chad cunts, I hate them.

>older brother is ginger
>not the shitty kind though
>the built Canelo-tier kind
>always picked his friends over me when I found out about him in high school
>always bullied me for being a dirty castizo shit (I probably deserved it but why man)
>always embarrassed me in front of other people
>never made friends
>he even ruined my one chance to score with a chick
>I almost look white but I'm not there
>even my other castizo siblings look white
>but I look like a Jew or Italian at best (which they mock me for resembling)
>ginger brother will always be a Chad
>he's like 24 now
>one time I was at his place
>his girlfriend was away
>him and a "female friend" ended up watching Ted or some shit
>I felt extremely out of place
>I ended up making an excuse to leave
>we were in the living room which is REALLY close to the door (he has an apartment)
>as I go I press my head against it
>make out my brother saying
>"Finally, he's gone" and
>"So, my girlfriend won't be around for X amount of time."
>TV turns off
>leave, pissed and depressed
You aren't the only one my man

>>38882657
>Chad brother
>Also a manlet
lies

>>38883873
It's one thing I have over him.
Height isn't always an issue. The most popular guy at my highschool was about 5'7".

>>38883911
I didn't even get to fucking wallow in self-pity about my shitty fucking brother and I thought you went away. Fuck this, I'm going to sleep

>>38884141
Sorry anon, I read your posts and appreciated them. I wish you the best with everything.