Death discussion

>>38840813
is that like a nickname or something? i find it hard to believe your parents would name you something like dirt.

>>38840813
Kinda feel you but I would feel nothing but anger, nothingness, and moments of deep, bitter depression that didn't even serve to let me cry or scream, like a truly terrible pain that you have no passion left to let out so you can only lie there pathetically and do nothing about it. Drove recklessly and fast a lot, wanted to get a gun just so I'd have a way out if I fucked with a guy for tailgating me or being mad at me tailgating him. Not like I'd kill myself, I just wished for a chance for somebody to come at me so I could blow their skull to smithereens and plead self defense. Think it was due to my feelings of hopelessness and being trapped from when I was being beat/molested for years in high school that I wanted to make somebody a surrogate aggressor towards me and become the bigger aggressor or something and, in turn, make them feel similarly to how I did by putting them down with overwhelming force and enjoying the view of their carcass that never stood a chance. Uni (more importantly, the people there) and work didn't really help and sought to antagonize and stress me out constantly, although it was mostly projection on my part (I don't like people looking at me as I always seem it negative.) Not my best moment, that's for sure. Hoping things get better when I'm doing a major I actually want to do, even if it's worthless.

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Death is long.
I find myself doing risky things too. Reckless driving. if I do drugs, I take dangerous amounts even from the onset
People seem to be so afraid of death but I am ready, My life is just periods of emotional numbness and the only emotions I ever feel are negative, I'll break down and cry for hours, Any fleeting good thing that happens only serves to make my misery stronger.
I want some one to save me so bad but the chance of that is 0 so the only thing I can hope for is death, the end of everything

>I've lost all sense of self preservation and have begun doing risky things. I was wondering if this is a robot thing to do or not.
I'm experiencing much the same, so as a fellow robot it probably is. I only fear pain, not death, and I only fear it because I know what it's like to be entrapped with pain and being unable to do anything about it (even screaming) via some bad experiences that landed my ass in the ICU and losing use of my legs for a good month.
Point being, yeah, seems pretty robot.

You want to just chat about death? Like, philosophically?

>>38840813

death is the final transformation