Per day, what would you say is a normal number of times to think about killing yourself? I usually think about killing myself at least 5 times a day. Is that above or below average?
also to add, I don't think I would ever actually do it. I just hate myself so much and I can't stop thinking about it. It's kind of like if someone says the word "elephants", you can't not think about elephants.
>>38832256
ironically: as many times as you can
curiosity: 3 times
seriously: 0
It's mostly imagining myself walking into my roommates room, loading a 7.62x54 round into his Mosin and then blasting my brains out. I could probably do it in under 30 seconds from getting out of my bed to pulling the trigger.
>>38832355
what has stopped you? not asking encouragingly
>>38832498
The fact that nothing happens when you die and if I choose to end it, Im literally throwing everything away because of a temporary problem. I really want to stop existing, but then I remember that when I stop existing, thats forever.
>>38832526
before you were born you don't remember emptiness, it'll be the same when you die... you wont know it's forever it just stops.
>>38832564
>you wont know it's forever it just stops
I know that. That is what terrifies me. It wont be bad but it definitely wont be good either. It wont be anything.
I hate myself and I hate my life but it wasn't always this way. I've been stuck in a pretty bad rut for about a year but I think if I keep looking, I'll find a way out.
>>38832616
doesn't stop me from thinking about killing myself though
>>38832616
>if I keep looking, I'll find a way out.
good attitude to have
>>38832643
I'm trying to force myself to stay positive in spite of all the negative thoughts. Seems to be working for now. Definitely has done nothing to keep the thoughts away but I don't feel any closer to ending it.
>>38832256
i dont know. I dont fucking count it. The idea of suicide is very dark for some reason, I don't like thinking about it but I see it like a way of stopping the suffering of this life for good.
I fantasize about doing something awesome before doing it though, like doing a lot of drugs and try to rob a bank.
If I get away with it the money will solve my problems, if not I will get shot by police and die.