Parents getting divorced

if you're old enough to post here, your parent's divorcing is basically irrelevant

>>38827072
i guess you are right. it just breaks my heart because i love both my parents and i thought this would never happen to my family

really bad , i regret not having prepared to escape the moment the word divorce came up. shit just keeps getting worse and worse. The divorce has been going on for well over 10 years as well and no sign of ending. You never know when the neet life will come to an end and you get thrown on to the streets.

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My father dragged out the lead up to and the divorce itself until I was no longer a minor at which point I wouldn't automatically be stuck with my mom. On one hand I got a strong father figure, and on the other I watched him eat shit and generally lived in a disruptive home for 9 years. If you didn't come out with negative feelings towards either parent or men/women as a whole consider yourself lucky and accept reality.

Ask me questions if you would like.

>>38827222
any advice? i love both my parents. i have had the cops called on me twice (by my mom. who of course initiated this) just because i verbally said i disagree. i don't know what to do but side with my dad. he did nothing wrong. neither did i

>>38827085

That anon is wrong it is never irrelevant to have your family splintered like that it literally changes everything.

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>>38827309
it does and i feel splintered with no idea what to do but sit here and type on a laptop that will probably get taken away in the divorce

My dad mentally checked out of the marriage a long time before he really bailed. Just sitting in the garage drinking alone for years.
Turns out he was pulling the old "I'll stay until muh son is 18 b/c ur a man now"

Yeah dad thanks for all the guidance you shared while fall down drunk screaming throwing beer bottles at the wall. Those fatherly lessons.

Turned 18 and was struggling big time, almost was expelled from high school, was starting to get into drugs and in trouble with the law. He thought this was the appropriate time to bail lol.
Left my mom and I for his high school crush who has big fake titties now. I guess he was too beta in high school and then they crossed paths and she got divorced and needed a cuck.

Mom went permanently insane from the divorce I think. Now I still live with her and she's becoming this oedipal fragile psycho. Can't count the number of times she has started hysterically crying and accusing me of hating her. Really bizarre stuff.

Haven't seen dad for 10 years but he calls every Sunday to ask me about the weather and share an hour of awkward silence. I honest to God wish he'd just stop. We didn't have a good relationship when we lived together we certainly aren't going to now. I think he realizes he fucked up and is getting old. He thinks we are at the "friendship stage". I didn't need a friend I needed a father dumbass.

>>38827414

The laptop is the least of your worries if it gets really nasty they may have to sell the house and then you'll have to make a decision about who you are going to live with and no matter who you pick it will be a mistake.

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>>38827285
My dad would always tell me she is still your mother. Regardless of the problem causer in the relationship, the psycho causing the problems is still your parent and I think that is important to remember. Even though I believe my mother was largely at fault I haven't completely cut her out of my life, I just understand she is a bit off mentally for a number of reasons.
That being said I ended up feeling much better when I lived my dad. Don't let either parent guilt trip you as my mother tried. You are an adult, you need to make your own decisions and if a parent doesn't like it, well tough shit. They may be your parents, but they are imperfect people just like any random joe off the street.

Another thing to possibly keep in mind would be to grab what you want that is YOURS from the house you aren't living in, in the initial move, assuming you will move. My mom never gave me all the keys to original house when she changed the locks. So I can't unlock the deadlock and therefore I have to go when she is there. It just ends up to being more attempts at manipulation, but since I've got most if my shit it isn't as big of an issue.


While you don't seem to be too angry, I would say again try not to be. Resentment in general is something you probably want to avoid.

>>38827480
i feel sorry to hear that. i am losing a great mother and a father. i can't imagine how anyone else went through childhood like that. I'm sorry anon i am here to talk because, i would like to feel i have it as bad as you but there is no comparison
>>38827545
i know. it's just this thing that keeps me connected to people that may understand me

>>38827552
thank you for your response. can we talk more? i really don't care about material possessions desu. i just care about being able to connect to the internet which i guess is my third parent and who has always been there for me

>>38827567

You sound young so let me give you some advice - The sense of community you get here is a lie. Don't get comfy on the internet. None of it is real it's all bullshit.

If you want a connection with people then throwing away your laptop is literally the best possible thing you could do.

>>38827636
thanks but people on the internet seem more honest than in real life. yes i have experienced real life. you would probably consider me a chad but i am more of a cyborg than a robot

>>38827666

It's not honesty it's just communication without a human component.

When you talk online you are only getting words. There is zero emotional or physical connection. It's bad for your soul.
Real connection is when all 3 of these things happen simultaneously.
The more you rely on online communities the more you are training your brain to be fucked up.

I get it. In real life you can't always just say whatever you want. Here you can say anything you want with no filter. But it isn't good for your words to constantly be dissociated from your personhood. You are slowly killing your humanity.

>>38827711
i know i just want disregard what is happening. i cant believe it. please help me

>>38827884
i didn't do anything wrong please help me

i don't know why i am so emotional but fuck. i love my parents. why can't i help them get together again? i just want it to be normal again

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>>38828070

If you love them let them do what will make em happy desu

>>38828135
i know it's their decision i just wish it wasn't happening. any advice?

>>38828190
It's a bit of a shake up but you'll get used to it quickly desu
The only advice I'd give is to see both of them and not take sides - I rarely saw my dad and sided with my mum who hated him and then he died v suddenly when I was about 16 before I'd really got a chance to properly get close to him
Hope everything goes well for you :)

>>38828260
both sides love me. i am their first born son. i did everything they told me to do. i just failed getting a job after getting a degree. and after that then is when it started. i asked both of them if i was the reason, and i know it is cliche, but i feel like i am. i am trying no to take sides because (my mom who is initiating this divorce has reasons) i can't take sides but i want to... because i know who is right.. FOR RICHER OR POORER, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH UNTIL DEATH UNTIL US PART. this doesn't mean anything to me or my parents anymore

>>38828345
it doesn't even mean anything if you are perfect anymore. Marriage is meaningless to everyone

>>38827631
>thank you for your response. can we talk more?

If it pleases you. Drop a throwaway or something. Ill get around to it after work.

>>38828454
>>38828454
i don't have time to do that but can you drop one?

My dad was very distant. the only way he ever spent time with me was when he was punishing me for fucking something up. I actually laughed my ass off for hours when I found out he left us.

>>38828454
i just want to talk here i can power through it i just need some anons that have been through

>>38828710
i'm sorry it ended like that. i love both my parents and i am conflicted

>>38828788
I feel worse for you, man. My parent's relationship meant nothing, they're both godawful people. At least be thankful you have parents you can be fond of.

>>38828841
i hate complaining about my life when i hear stories like yours. my parents mean everything to me. i love them so much and they both love me too. why can't they love each other the same way? they took the vows

>>38826975
Anyone else been hit by his stepfather? Mine left a big scar on my upper lip, I want to kill the fucker

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>>38828878
my dad and i have roughed each other up a bit. in fact it made our connection better. tbhi wish i had a physical reminder of my parents. they brought me into this world

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>>38828878
sorry your stepdad did that. it doesn't mean the same thing as fighting with your real dad. i don't know what i would do if my mother got a new partner. i guess i would probably be living with my real dad at that point

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parents rushed into marriage when they were way too young, only really stayed together for the kids. When they got older and us kids were more mature there wasn't really a reason for them to stay together anymore.

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>>38829100
how do you feel about it anon?

>>38826975
My parents divorced when I was 16 or something, and it went fairly smooth. My mom initiated it because she is a bitch, but she wasn't bad enough to take anything to court. It was just a mutual divorce on paper.

I haven't really spoken to her since though. I see her on family gatherings and thank her for gifts and answer questions, but I never converse with her or acknowledge her otherwise.

>>38829224
did you ever tell her if you disapproved? i did because of that i got the cops called on me twice. both times, no result. they sympathized with me actually. except the second time they made me contact someone else to take me away because my BAC was wwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over the limit. despite that i still left by shaking each officer's hands

>>38829180
I'm okay with it because i would have done the exact same thing if I was in their shoes. They get into massive arguments over the smallest things, idk how they ever thought their relationship would ever work out lol.

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>be me
>be 17-18
>playing video games with brother
>parents call us to stop
>sit down at table
>we're getting a divorce
>signs were super obvious
>we ask if we can go back to games
desu I should have milked it more to get off academic probation but dropping out to another program was way better in the end

>>38829486
>>38829507
i envy you two. i hope you realize what your parents gave you

>>38829628
I do. I'm thankful that they chose to put their personal issues aside to raise their kids right. It doesn't work out so smoothly for most people.

>>38829732
yeah, my mom thinks i am taking my dad's side just because i don't want them to divorce

>>38829783
sorry about ur situaton anon. She'll come around eventually. I'd imagine emotions are running really high for her and she's having trouble thinking past her own feelings.

>>38829850
she will. but she has six other sisters. two of which have already divorced their husbands. i feel like they are just telling her how to never work again, how to get alimony. they both have already done it, and they have the lawyers on standby

Mines didn't divorce, but I fucking wish they did.
At about 15 there was a huge blowout argument when mum realised dad had been cheating for 4 years with a woman.

Then after it all, mum came upstairs and told us they wouldn't be divorcing. I couldn't hide my disappointment. Dad was/is a selfish manchild, he harrassed mum, who in turn took it out on us. She had no friends, she just worked, cooked (3 separate meals on everybody's preference) and did chores. When visiting her side of the family she seems to have a strong network, so I don't get it.

We all hate her because she's too involved in all our lives, too intrusive. I mean it's no wonder if she has no identity of her own, and it's something to pity. But if she wants to act the housemaid, despite our protests that we can and are happy to do shit ourselves, then why fucking should I feel bad?

Take yesterday's interaction between my mum and dad
>dad: hey go make me supper
>mum: don't turn that channel over, i'm watching it, ok? don't turn it over
>he turns it over
>i asked you not to!
>you're going to make me supper, you won't be watching the tv

Like who the fuck puts up with that kind of disrespect? Their relationship has taught me a lot about marriage, mainly that you should divorce if you don't work, and you CAN manipulate things to have some obedient maid, but never on gods earth would I want anything like that, or be able to live with myself. My partner would have to be their own person.

>>38829292
No. For the two years I didn't say anything to her at all. She lived in our house for a few weeks and I didn't leave my room except for in the night when she was asleep.

My dad got to keep custody of all my siblings and me, and he kept the house. Still had to pay a shit load of alimony for a few years though

my parents divorced when they were 10 due to my dad coming into his family's money. he was a cunt who not only left, but decided to paint my mother as an evil, blood-sucking tick despite the fact we live in California and she could have gone after his family's money and didn't and also had to get a real estate license and work 50+ hours a week while my dad sat on his ass and still tried to turn us against her. My dad never worked a real job nor taught me or instilled any skills in me so I could get one either, but hates me for being a NEET. I wish I had a Chad for a dad who taught me the ropes on how to be a blue-collared worker instead of some elitist fag who sits around all day and talks shit on everyone else while getting NEET bux in the form of family inheritance.

>>38830390
I'm autistic. I meant to write when I was 10, not they, but that typo is gold.

>>38830079
posting originally to tell you that you're a bad person anon

>>38830079
my dad tried. he tried to start his own business. and it failed. he got a job but just on contract. meaning he only got paid if he sold. godamn now they both hate me. ill just leave them alone
>>38830283
i should listen to you. i guess i don't realize divorce is for the best.
>>38830390
>>38830416
haha. but yeah. as a person that has a dad who is a chad it isn't the best. even if you would consider me a cyborg at worst and a chad at best it's fucked here

Spent a week with my dad surrounded by the fucking swat team because he wouldent give me up. great conversation starter

>>38830553
swat team? did you threaten to kys?

>>38830573
seeing as i was eight, no. My mom took my sister to god knows where, and my dad refused to let me go.

>>38826975
It happened when I was like 6 or 7
I got redpilled young bros, my dad was living in apartments and shit while my mom was fucking her old high school chad, he's a dumb redneck who peaked in high school and he was an asshole to me
anyway I ended up being diagnosed with major depressive disorder at the age of 11 and had evolved into a full on trap fapping imageboard lurking degenerate by the age of 13
also they had me circumcised as a baby, they act like such nice innocent people now and seem to have forgotten everything they did to me but I will never forgive them for any of it.

what's it like to have real parents?

My parents haven't divorced but my mom sometimes tells my dad "y'know you're a lucky man" and stuff like that. My mom is way past the wall though, even if she divorced she probably wouldn't marry a rich guy

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>>38826975
for me its just barley noticable
OH BOY I NEED TO RIGHT THIS OUT
part 1: dont cry
i was in the house when they started arguing, my dad was talking about having a holiday and mum didnt want to go
turns out that my sister and my dad knew that she was cheating on him with some older irish faggot, but didnt tell me until about a year later
wind onwards a year, the divorce is finally over, dad has to buy half the house again, needing to get a load and extend his working years by about 7, considering he worked a 9-5 job, and now does overtime
tl:dr, mom cheats on dad, house gets sold, not to much happens

part 2: only time will tell
i go out with my mum on the weekends under my own volition, seeing her every week. She sometimes talked about her faggot boyfriend that she cheated on my dad with. one i told her to shut up about that prick and that id never like him and would fight him (VERY unlike what id normally say since was a beta) she started crying but w/e that what you get ex roastie ree.
life goes on, i do ok in exams, B/C grades on most subjects, but im still shameful about how i put on headphones that didn't even work instead of going downstairs and talking it out with then.
mum told me how my dad abused her in the relationship, keeping a eye on her and her financial status, even though she did zero work and was shown up to be a cheater, called her out on that and the car went quiet until i got home.
part 3: the heat goes on
dad is better, life had sorta straightened out, we went on a big fuck off 3 weeks in the states (best family holiday ive had), and most likely the last one seeing as dad was getting on 60 and sis was turing 21ish
mum is ok now, she had just put in the tombstone for grandad as she hadnt bought it for the 2 years that he has been dead.

y'know this is actually a nice weight off my chest, since ive never opened up to anyone thanks OP
big tl:dr, semi easy divorce, mum cheated and dad is tired

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>>38826975
Don't know what it feels like to love my father he was the worst person I've ever known. He did some really fucked up shit I'll tell the story if you guys want

>>38831775
that sucks. i am glad you worked through it anon.
>>38831668
he probably is a lucky man. i would consider myself one if i were in his shoes
>>38831775
it's going to be fine. sounds like you handled it well considering. thanks for sharing :) it's helped me too
>>38831978
this is the thread for story time. do tell, it will make you feel better. it did for me

I will let you all know my parent's divorce while disturbing to me, i am beginning to make terms with it now. i realize it is between them and i have no influence in determining that (i tried twice cops called on me both times). it's just different than what i am used to but i will make due.
i hope any anon here that feels like they need to share anything, this is the thread to do that

>>38826975
TEST 47743346

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>>38832238
did your test work? care to share some emotional moments with some robots?

>>38830599
ahh it was drugs then. right? idk type it out for us dude it will make you feel a lot better. sorta i hope

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>>38832230
Well this might get a bit fucked but I'll list the shit my dad has done
>Owned several guns of which many were illegal
>Stolen a citizens identity
>Raped my mum. Mum married him when he asked cuz she was scared of him
>tfw you're a rape baby
>Killed 2 people
>was rich cuz of credit fraud so he bribed the judge
>Threatened to kill my little brother when he was still a baby
He got caught when I was 5 and recently got out of prison

>>38832440
damn dude. your father sounds like an absolute thug. i hope you have seen how he has treated you and your family, and you won't ever do anything like that to anyone. if you want to talk some more i am still here

>>38832507
He was a thug. My mum would compare my older brother to him whenever he did anything bad and it fucked him up.

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>>38832551
that would fuck me up to because comparing your son to their father is usually supposed to be a compliment. in that context that can really fuck with your mind. the man that gave birth to you? comparing your son to him is an insult? that's almost a backhanded insult onto herself because she knows what she has done.
I will tell you this anon, i don't know you, but you did nothing wrong being born. no one is asked which family to be born in. you must have a hell of a thick skin if you are still kickin' if you are still here to comment

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>>38832665
too* damn. i come here to cry about my problems and i feel like such a bitch when i read about real problems. i really have no advice for what you should do but as long as you can acknowledge what exactly the problem is, maybe you can, and have, excise it of your life. it seems for the best. try to stay in contact with your mother

>>38832665
I've been heavily desensitized to the fact that my dad is such a piece of shit and I forget just how odd it is for someone to not care for their dad in the way I do. I once told my friend that I wouldn't attend his funeral and they were taken aback by it (even though they knew the type of person he is). They said things like "But he's your dad though" But that word has so little meaning to me I didn't get what they meant.
Also thanks for the condolences. I've gotten (mostly) over the fact that, that kind of person is my dad. It's just something i think about sometimes you know.

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>>38833040
i can understand your reaction, and your friend's. maybe try to meet somewhere in the middle? your dad from what i have read is an absolute piece of garbage, but if he dies. pleas do go to his funeral, and say exactly what you said here. don't hold back. he only dies once, and if what you are telling me is true, you aren't the only person he has hurt. if you have any good memories, share that at the altar, and afterwards converse with your family about what kind of character he was