Autistic things you do at work

>>38819730
>while making spreadsheets shove pencil down dickhole

>>38819730
I just have my waifu as my phone's background, so I get to look at her every time I turn I use it.

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The second one is not autistic. You can release all your shit with a single, epic blast without disgusting someone.

>I sometimes think of war scenes from movies and I try to match the sound with my voice.
>pfffffuuuuuu ratatata aaaah
>tfw doing this in public
>tfw several people saw me doing this

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>ballroom dance with the mop while mopping
>stretch at the start of every shift (full body)
>make a little square with my fingers (like pic related) when examining a gondola end to make sure everything looks in order

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>>38819730
>TA for a freshman level lab at my uni
>Always talk to fast and end up out of breath
>Have to take deep breaths between each sentence after 30 seconds
>Everyone just thinks I have bad asthma
>Really have crippling social anxiety

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>>38819813
eh, I don't want my workmates or friends judge me on it. I just make sure no one's looking when I open the pics of her, don't even get a boner when I do it, just to admire her looks.

>>38819880
sorry I meant family, not friends.

>>38819880
>>38819913
No one uses my phone but me and I don't pop a boner every time I admire my waifu.

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>>38819730
>sit in my car to eat lunch instead of in the cafeteria with everyone else

>>38819730
>>38819813
>>38819880
>tfw waifu is the only thing that gets me through some days
It's an abstract kinda feel

>>38819985
Lmao I did this when I worked part time at Kroger.

>browse 4chan at work cuz nothing to do
No better feel

>>38819872
Take a small breath after each sentence fampai

>>38819880
is she 2D or 3D? This is very important.

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>think about something funny from a movie/TV show while walking around the factory
>Have a wierd smirk on my face that I can't stop
>tfw many people have seen me do this

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>change route when a qt is walking in my direction
>always must have something in my hand to throw around and fiddle with
>purposefully carry the department phone to talk to the qt cashiers that need help up at the front
>whisper random /tv/ memes to myself
>always try to antagonize, annoy or straight up lie to any shitskin, boomer, or ugly woman just to see them get mad and then let the manager deal with them

I fap in the bathroom at work fairly often because usually I'm the only male in the building.

>>38823565
>always try to antagonize, annoy or straight up lie to... ugly women
But good looking women deserve that shit far more than ugly women.

You are an awful person anon.

>>38823806
What's your job anon? I wanna work with only females too.

>>38823864
It's probably not what you're imagining. Small market research company. We've got about 12 girls who work in the call center and who I rarely interact with (We had a few guys but they never last). Then the call center manager and business development person are both women. I'm the analyst/IT stooge. The boss is a dude but he only comes to the office about once a week, so the men's bathroom is my private bathroom most days

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>Small office to myself
>Rarely bothered, so I goof around every now and then to break the boredom of work
>Pretend I'm in the pilot seat of a mobile suit
>Make dumb noises and motions for a bit before going back to work
I enjoy it too much to where I catch myself doing it sometimes at home too. I need to find more mech games.

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I work in industry and construction and do not hide my disgust for football, country music, and bud light. Also, when everyone hangs out and brags about their sexual/drinking I zone out and stare into space or say edgy or disturbing stuff to try and make people laugh because I can't relate.

>>38824326
>say edgy or disturbing stuff to try and make people laugh because I can't relate.
give us an example.

>>38824098
Mechwarrior living legends my dude, still holds up great, and has a new breath of life rn

>>38824098
I know this feel. Every now and then I'll have the urge to exclaim "it's a gundam!" when I think no one is listening.

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>>38824098
>Pretend I'm in the pilot seat of a mobile suit
man i miss this feel, it's been a while since i played Titanfall 2

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I admire my nice wallpapers. At my desk
Ritsu truly gets me through the day, Idk what I'd do without her.

>>38819996
If it makes you happier, does it matter.

>>38819730
While I look like a roided motherfucker and am a boxer for my day job, I'm a fanatic, extremely autistic brony. I blame the regular hits on the head

>>38825042
eh, exposing people to their first goatse/tubgirl/lemonparty, buffalo bob references when they talk about hooking up with women, referring to rap as jungle music, expressing misanthropic/sadomasochistic sentiment with a deadpan expression
Pretty tame for internet standards i guess.

I play tetris.

>>38825293
Where does one acquire steroids? Progress at the gym is really slow for me.

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>having a job and consistent form of income that isn't welfare from the Department of Mass Shooting Prevention and General Autist Management courtesy of ZOG.GOV
>unironically calls themselves robot
i want summerfags to die in a fire

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>>38825116
Shoot, that looks great man. Thanks for the tip. I've had an itch for games since people keep talking about Gundam Versus. Doesn't help that I don't have a PS4.
>>38825167
SOLOMON! I HAVE RETURNED!
I'm glad I'm alone most of the time at my office. I'd feel dumber than I already do if someone heard me.
>>38825203
Is Titanfall 2 good? All I've heard about the games is some criticism on the first game's artist for his thoughts on the word "mech".

>>38825353
Note that I only look like it, and if you do too much, your heart is going to fucking explode. Besides, calories in, calories out, you don't just gain muscle from the steroids, you gain muscles from eating like a fucking horse AND taking steroids.

Talk to boxers, some ultra buff bodybuilder dude, or one of those veiny as fuck crossfit runner types. If you mention your slow progress enough the'll probably get the hint after some time

t. used roids for 3 years, stopped, deflated like a fucking popped balloon despite staying in the same training routine

>>38825361
Ive been on r9k for years now, if I was still a neet I probably would've killed myself by now. I am no normie.

>>38825445
You sound like a normie. Why stick around /r9k/ if you haven't an hero'd or stayed a comfy NEET after ''years''?

genuinely curious desu

>>38825440
Yeah, but how did you actually get the steroids in the first place. And were they pills you swallow or an injection?

>>38825474
Because I'm a 23 year old KHHV

>>38825490
More or less unlabeled pills I bummed off a considerably edgy guy I was coaching. Maybe I can dig up the label somewhere. Marketed as "something something testo supplement", had a horse on the box, and it felt like shoving said horse up your ass and drinking 12 redbulls if you took them. Not in a drug-like way, but a constant feeling of "man I could totally fistfight a gorilla right now".

Keep in mind that these were in germany, and not licensed in any way, so yours can look completely different. Just take what all the other roid fuckers take, that tends to be the safest way. Also, maybe you'll adopt my retard-like speech pattern and drop by 20 iq points

>>38825397
>>38824098

What's a good gundam starter series. I enjoyed knights of sidonia, but mechas aren't really my thing.

There's an guy at work who's super into it and I would enjoy chatting with him about it.

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>>38825619
Uhh, if you want to start from the beginning of the UC timeline, then watch 0079. If you want a nice taste of it, then I'd highly recommend The MS 08th Team. Even if you don't find yourself liking Gundam, that still is a fantastic show.
Same goes with G Gundam. Can't recommend that show enough. Mecha fan or not, it's too fun.

>>38825698
I meant the 08th MS Team. G Gundam doesn't really need previous knowledge of other shows in the series to show by the way.

>>38825743
>>38825698
Thanks man, I'll download these and see if any jump out to me

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>>38825397
Is Titanfall 2 good?
it's the best FPS I've played in the last 5 years, but i sold my graphics card a couple of months back so i can't play it.

this trailer sums up the game pretty well https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8mIJhqC8Hg

>>38823328

>tfw same
>tfw people ask why I am laughing
>tfw they think its because of some sex thing

>>38819730
Not at work but at uni.
>I always need to carry my phone in my hand
>Whenever I'm walking past someone who seems that might talk to me I just pretend to answer a call
>I do this almost everytime to avoid social interactions
>I just look like a retard pretending to talk on the phone with no one

>>38826048
it's fine just fine which is better than most FPSs that have come out in the last 5 years

>>38823828
ugly both inside and out, as in bitches. im not THAT much of an asshole

>>38819985
i do this. it sucks. I'm fat so I'm very self-conscious about eating.

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>be cop
>work in small town
>drive and patrol each street every shift
>patrol all nooks and crannies I can
>triggered if I miss anything and have to go back and check it
>keep finding new areas I never knew about
>it is my duty to patrol each part of town equally, but an effective officer is unpredictable and shouldn't develop patterns of patrol, but patterns are easy to keep track of where I have already patrolled
>that paradox
>do reports right away after an incident
>autistic knowledge of the exact wording and code number of most common laws
>uniform has to be in perfect working order
>get weekly haircuts to look fresh
>shave every single day despite no one really caring if you do or don't

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>>38819730
I'm insecure about my braces to a degree
>never eat at work
>but when I do
>go to the back of the restaurant (coffee shop)
>sit on milk crates by the water heater
>eat meal
>return
They joke around about it sometimes

>>38819880
Who is your waifu

if its your gf I will rape your soul in hell

>>38825397
If you're into tabletops/rpgs, hit up battletech, it's real good, I've been on a bit of a shadowrun binge lately, so maybe I've some rose tinted goggles on

>>38827124

I'm kind of glad you're a cop, anon. You seem less likely to be one to fuck over a citizen because you actually know the law

Keep it up friendo

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>>38827773
my 'waifu' is just a picture of my actual wife

jk, she's actually some ayy from a 3D Disney movie. I have this fetish for alien looking women, the moment i saw her in the movie I practically fell in love.

See this is why I can't have it as a wallpaper on my phone as another anon suggested, my workmates and family will think I'm a freak the moment they glance my screen.

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>>38827124
>being a good cop is autistic

I like doing weapon reloads with my fingers even though I dont own guns

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>>38827904
>>38828059
Thanks anons. I try reallt hard to be a model officer. It can just be stressful at times. For example:

>state law says officer can only make a physical arrest for class 2 misdemeanors committed in his or her presence, otherwise it shall be written on a ticket and a court date is to be set
>petty theft is a class 2
>routinely other officers make physical arrests people for petty theft if a store employee witnesses a theft occur and tells the officer
>I refuse to do so because it is unlawful
>store employees, other cops, and prosector get triggered that I didn't make the physical arrest because everyone does it and no one cares

Another example
>always been a night owl and love working night shift
>lots or people walk around here at night
>most cops stop and talk to people after certain hours no matter what the person is doing
>I only stop to talk to people if I have an actual, articulable reason, such as a crime happened nearby recently, they are swaying greatly or look not okay some how, or if they look really young and it's passed curfew
>this triggers coworkers

My department is pretty lazy too so it makes me seem even weirder. I just want to be Lawful Good.

>>38827705
Wait, you refuse to eat with your friends and instead run off to a corner and then go back to them? Thats extremely autistic, also don't your braces show just as much when you talk as when you eat?

I work on a farm
>pretend to be a goat
>very self conscious about where i rank amongst 4 goats
>i think im second most powerful
>trying go become chad goat
>tfw no horns

I also pet a mini horse knowing it gets a boner bc i think its funny.

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>>38819730
>Autistic things you do at work
Work?

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Bump for jesus

>>38825335
Kek me too


Oregenpo

>>38829363
Yeah, some of us actually try not to be a detriment to society

>>38823328
I do this when walking outside. I honestly don't fucking care. I'm sharing bants with myself.

>>38819872
hey famalam i do that too! i have social anxiety, asthma, and adhd so i get really excited and i get scared im talking too fast so i slow down a bit but then asthma kicks in. bleh. im learning how to fix it slowly. hope things are going well for you, anon.

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>Walking down empty hallway
>Pretend I'm Hitler meeting German onlookers
>Do pic related
It's become a day to day thing now.