"Champ, I know how hard it must've been for you to

>>38812965
dad pls stop feeding my fast food pls

>>38812965
I wish my father was like this.

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>>38812999
"Champ, you could either sit there and make excuses, or you can man up, eat the food on the tray, and give the manager a firm handshake."

Champposting is the worst

>tfw no well meaning dad who doesn't give up on you calls you champ, chief, slugger etc...

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>>38813077
"Slugger, I know how tough things must be, but sometimes you just need to hoist yourself by the bootstraps and man up. Being unemployed is nothing that a little confidence, persistence, and a firm handshake can't fix."

>>38813330
leld at slugger

>>38812965
Reminds me of my father. Glad he's dead now to be honest.

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>>38813403
"Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamp. Did you remember to show up there, speak with the manager, and give him a firm handshake?"

I spoke to the manager. He propositioned me for sex. I did it dad. I'm finally coming out of the closet. He said I'll be first to know if any positions open up.

>>38813077
Mine still calls me kiddo

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>>38813527
"You remember to follow up on those applications you sent out, kiddo? It's always best to do it in person by speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you want the job. Kiddo, it's as simple as that."

>>38813527
be glad he doesn't call you sport

I like this. More never give up positive dad pls.

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>>38813590
>>38813604

"So, how's the job hunt going, sport? It's as simple as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. You'll never reach the higher branch if you don't jump for it, sport."

>>38813590
>sport

But that's so retro it's almost cool

>sport
>slugger
>champ
>kiddo
>chief

How come he don't want me, man?

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>Walk up to a teller at the bank
>"I'd like to talk to the manager."
>"Sir, is there a problem I can help you with?"
>Look her in the eye and give her a firm handshake
>She's visibly impressed and aroused, goes to get the manager
>"What seems to be the problem, sir?"
>"I'd like a job at your bank."
>"Er, well we're not looking for new hires, but if you'd like to submit-"
>Stare at his eyes with an intensity most people see but once in a lifetime
>Shake his hand with a firmness that would leave Arnold in awe
>"Give me a job, please."
>He weeps at the godlike quality of my handshake
>Hires me on the spot as Assistant Manager, starting salary $200,000
It works bros

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>>38813688
Digits confirm Handshake Dad meme.

Champdad, a girl has a crush on me
How do I make it a FwB thing instead of a dating thing?

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>>38813922
"Women want someone who'll provide for them, so they'll practically be chasing you when you have a job, Champ. And getting one is as simple as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. Gosh, I remember when I met your mother. It was at the school dance after I'd tossed the game-winning touchdown, and... well, that doesn't really help you much, does it?"

>>38813977
B-but dad, I was the one who won the big football game at the private school you're paying for, and it was in front of several thousands people against roided up preps! Your high school was in a seedy town in Bumfuck, Texas...
Why don't you love me dad

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>>38814056
Go up to the manager and shake his hand, Shinji.

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Hey meme dad, just wanted to let you know that your encouragement and support got me to apply for a job, and I got hired! Its at a Warehouse and the pay is not much above minimum but I can finally put those gains to good use. Just calling you up to thank you for your constant attention and pushing me to do better. I love you, meme dad.

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>>38814177
Good for you, Champ. Proud of you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NuFVQk_CCs

>>38814177
Don't worry kiddo, if the wage isn't cutting it for you, you need to apply for a promotion. Go up to your manager and give him a firm handshake. Then ask for the promotion

>>38814177
>warehouse

lol any temp agency gives you that job

>tfw they don't even let you shake their hand

>>38814614
Was it behind a bullet proof window?

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>>38814614
"Squirt, quitters never win, and winners never quit. Now you march back in there, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. If that doesn't work, we'll try somewhere else. What've you got to lose, Squirt?"

>>38814177
Good job, anon! I am really happy for you n_n

Dad i asked the manager for a job while i shook his hand and looked into his eyes, but he ignored me and told me to wait until he finished his coffee.
What do i do now?

>>38814652
>"Uh, can I speak to the manager?"
>"For what?"
>"Well, I was wondering if you were hiring and-"
>"No, but we're always taking resumes"
>"Ok, but can I see the manager?"
>"He's...uhhh...busy"
Every fucking time

>tfw you were raised by a single mother and her parents and your dad is a deadbeat, who instead of trying to (re)connect with you, just sends you 100bucks on your birthday and xmas.

God I wish that firm handshake man were my father instead.

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>>38814721

Didn't drive you out here for nothing, Champ. Head back in there, wait until he finishes his coffee, then speak with him, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. Quitting is not an option, Champ.

>>38814726
Then we'll try somewhere else, Champ. What've you got to lose?

>>38814784
*mutters under my breath* my will to live

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>>38814843
"Turn that frown upside down, Champ. Getting a job will allow to do all those things you always wanted to do, like saving for a rainy day. All it takes is showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. It's as simple as that, Champ."

Sad state of affairs that our culture is so far gone that we now mock good fathers.

this is the best thread on r9k right now, pals

>>38812965
total fucking shit meme fuck off with this job bullshit

>>38815064
we're not mocking good fathers, we're memeing them. lrn the difference

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>>38815115
"Champ, you could either sit there and blame YOUR problems on other people who are just trying to help you out, or you could man up and dig yourself out of this mess. And the only way to do that is to show up, speak with a manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. Four simple steps, Champ! I didn't raise a quitter."

So what happens when after a week there's nowhere left to apply in town? Does champdad blame his kid for not looking you in the eye enough, not having a firm enough handshake?

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>>38815172
"Then we'll drive to the next town, Champ. Every journey begins with the first step, and that's the one you'll take when you show up, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. Simple as that, Champ."

Dad, my median nerve suffered permanent damage after you drove me to get a job the other day.
Now my grip strength is severely impaired. I can't hold a cup properly, let alone another persons hand firmly,
How do i get a job now?

>>38815064
A good father would have seen how society is going and armed his child accordingly. A good father would have ensured his offspring has something to fall back on should the job hunt fail, a trade or skill that can be readily turned into something steady, even if it's unfulfilling or low paying.

This meme is grounded in baby boomer fact. There really are fathers out there who still think this works because it worked for them in the 60's and while the encouragement and never say die attitude is good. He is utterly misjudging the employment landscape and dogmatically refusing to accept the truth

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>>38815227
"Procrastination and excuses, powerful agents to the uninitiated. But you're still going into the store, speaking with the manager, and giving him a firm handshake, Champ."

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When you're finishing your 17th application, then you realize...

Man, I can't think of a single job that doesn't involve intense physical work and will pay you very well, where you can just walk into the place, ask to speak to a manager, and get a firm shake or some shit. Most places security will tell you to leave and apply online.

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>>38815959
"Then think harder, Champ, because we'll simply go elsewhere -- and we're not turning back until someone hires you on the spot. Remember to speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. Ok, Champ? You've got this!"

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Remember the firm handshake, Champy-wampy-champy-wampy-wampy-champy.