What's concerning you at the moment?

File: 1500095879475.png (12KB, 742x721px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 742x721px

I thought she got acid faced and got excited for a second. Turns out she's just another smoking attention whore.

>>38805413
my dad diddled my balls as a kid and now i wanna diddle my brains with a bullet

I start my carpenters apprenticeship in less than two weeks and i am already feeling anxious.

>>38805413
I can't find any reason to do anything.
I have the skills an knowledge to do good but I could also use it to cause fucking chaos and I can't pick.
In a world of endless possibility I can't fucking pick one.

>>38805454
Why not diddle your dads brains with a bullet.

What the fuck makes a girl lead a guy on AND have sex with me, AND tell me she's going to leave him but calls it off and goes back to him at the last second. She said she loved me and there wasn't any chance she'd choose him... But she never left him. Don't know what I was expecting. At least I got to smash.

I don't/can't care about my life.


There isn't anything I want except for to stop existing or that I was never born.

>>38805478
i'm too much of a pussy to do either options,i guess i'll just od on something

>>38805456
Interesting. I wish I learned a craft. Learning something like this will help your confidence a lot.

>>38805466
>>38805496
not very orginal, don't you think?
Sorry, there's not much to reply to posts like these

>>38805494
She probably felt guilty afterwards. She just wanted some excitement. Typical.

I have a job orientation coming up in two days.

They called me a week ago and told me the time but I'm retarded and forgot without writing it down.

How do I call back and ask for the time without looking like an irresponsible retard?

>>38805454
>dad gets away with it and the potential witness is lost
Don't let him win anon

>will i meet someone else who I truly care for?

>>38805413
My cat was put down this morning and I don't know how to move on.

I've had her for 17 years. I've literally had her since before I could remember, me being 20 now.

We sat outside and got to see one more sunrise.

stressing about how i'm going to get out of this shithole, change my name and everything to start over again/ new life.

>>38805413
I honestly don't know if I should start a relationship with Jill.
I've liked her but I worry about all my mental issues and how I've been cheated on and betrayed Everytime.
I hate being normie enough to try to date but being such a loser that I can never keep them. I don't have a small dick so at least I can't hate that part of me.
I feel I should maybe drop her completely and try for someone who hasn't known me my whole life.

I left therapy yesterday and can already feel myself straining away from all the people I met there. All our conversations feel so unnatural and I don't want to loose so many relationships just cause I barely use Normie Apps.

Going to college in like 3 weeks, moving to a whole new country without anyone I know.

File: Just tired.jpg (43KB, 499x360px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 499x360px

>>38805413
I live with the constant crippling self doubt and existential dread. I feel like I can't justify taking my life in a specific direction because I can always think of some negative that would cripple my chances at deriving anything worthwhile from that choice.I feel trapped by elements outside of my control, as well as those within.

The worst part of it is that I'm acutely aware that the things I value and wish to achieve in my life become increasingly more difficult to obtain with each passing day.

>>38805413

I want to become a father. I am 24 years old and after struggling with ADHD for 23 years without knowing it, I'm trying to get my thoughts in order.

I've made the decision to attend university (for 4th time, made different wrong choices of what to study) again. I'm going to study history, because I have a broad and wide interest in a lot of things. Might want to become a journalist, a writer, or maybe even a politician.

I've always been so uncertain of things, which has led me to this point in life where I have responsibilities, but I feel like I haven't really grown older and wiser. I sometimes feel like my life has been on a standstill.

When I say to people that I'm going to study history, I get rejecting responses, since it's not really known to be a 'money maker'. My biggest dream in life isn't to make as much money as possible, but I want to marry my girlfriend and have children. Preferrably in a few (4-6) years, since biological reasons.

I'm a nice guy, used to be left wing, until my depression 2 years ago, when I started to try to find logic in all of life. I had gotten to the point, before depression, that I knew life was pointless and it was just a perception of the reality we can perceive. Our perception is limited by our physical body and influenced by chemicals in our brain. I learned more about history, society, sociology, agendas of certain people and basically got 'redpilled'.
This hasn't really made my life easier, but it has made me aware of the responsibility that I have to my ancestors, my current family, friends, girlfriend and future children to fulfill the role that I have in the biological cycle.

I'm aware that I have ADHD and OCD and that they influence my ability to function normally.
I don't want to use those conditions as excuses, that's why I merely keep them in mind to try to prevent pitfalls that I'm more likely to tumble into because of those conditions. -longcomment-

>parents want me to move out and get a gf
>afraid I'll just end up homeless
Fuck this I might just end it all

>tfw it takes $30 worth of alcohol just to get slightly drunk for one night
My neetbux is only like $540 a fortnight
Even though I can afford it this shit is kinda ridiculous

I just want to get out of this hell that is internet addiction. I am spending 12-16 hours a day just THROWING MY TIME AWAY WITH STUPID SHIT but I can't help myself. Everyday when I'm going to sleep I say to myself: "tomorrow won't go like today did, you'll actually study, exercise, eat well, socialize" but I wake up and can't help but to visit 4chan.

Seriously need help. It's like the days are passing and I ain't even noticing it. I feel like I'm wasting my life. I got an life important test later this year, which I had planned to study since de beggining of the year, but didn't study for SHIT and it's making me mad. I'm disappointed at myself.

>>38805862

What country are you moving to, Anon? Also, how old are you and what are you studying? I'm not OP, btw

>>38805760
Say that you lost the sticky note you wrote it on if you wanna lie.
In my opinion just calling and asking, then saying "thank you until then" should do it. You're probably not the first to make such a mistake. Also it's no job interview.

>>38805818
>>>/x/
see divination general

>>38805819
This hurts to read anon. But accepting death is part of maturing and growing up. You're allowed to mourn. Let it all out.

>>38805828
Venezuela?

>>38805836
How old are you?

>>38805845
I read that you found friends there and now are losing contact? Then you have to decide to use "normie apps" or lose them

>>38805862
Sounds exciting. Which country? I widh you best of luck.

>>38805889
I said already that there's not much to say about posts like these. But I read it.

>>38805894
>history
>getting into journalism
Good luck with that. Be warned that this might be just another mistake but you seem to be aware of that already

>>38805906
>and get a gf
I get the job thing but why should they care about your love life?
>>38805932
Stop drinking alcohol.

>>38805954
Same. I should be asleep right now but look at what I'm doing. I managed to abstain from every chemical drug but 4chan has me hooked.

File: 1367904121706.png (43KB, 542x602px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 542x602px

I sent my class schedule over to my uni.
It fits perfectly with a job and since its my last semester, i have to take all these classes.
However, there's a class that takes place on Fridays from 8-10 pm and saturdays from 9am-11 am.
It concerns me that norman scum will not sign up for this class because of muh parties and muh sleeping until 1pm on saturdays, therefore making the uni cancel it for lack of students.
It annoys me that something like this is completely out of my control.

>>38806005
I am 22.
Jill being 24

>>38805413
i thought that was cum on her face

>>38806057
This sucks.
But maybe there's enough people signing up for the class. Let's hope for the best

>>38806124
Me too.
What's stopping you from just trying?

OP here, I have to sleep now. I'll just fap real quick and make some last replies.

File: image.png (713KB, 609x802px) Image search: [Google]

713KB, 609x802px

I can't form actual connections to anyone, and seeing it happen all around me is killing me.
I'm friendly with everyone, but no one likes me once they start getting to know me. I don't know why. I used to have some friends I thought I could go to now, but they stopped liking me, and when I try to reconnect with any of them they make excuses to not see me.
At this point, I'm literally just waiting to die.

>>38805413
I am unsure if I should just give up
Life is way too hard for me
Everything is a giant challenge
No matter what I do my mind will be fucked forever(Schizophrenia)

I just want to sleep forever

>>38806005

>history
>getting into journalism
Good luck with that. Be warned that this might be just another mistake but you seem to be aware of that already


Yes, but I don't know what other choice I could possibly make.
At least, if I manage to complete this study programme, which lasts 3 years, I'll have a degree to a university (which means something for some people). When I sleep okay and don't feel depressed, I have fairly good analytical skills, I think outside of the box, I'm caring and willing to be loyal to an employer with a vision. Apart from that, I have a lot of knowledge from a lot of different areas and my overall knowledge is over average (IQ is average, but language / analytical skills were 129. Total is brought down by factors like ability of planning and some other thing related to my ADHD / OCD)

Truly, with such skills, side interests and reading books, + a university degree, I can find employment that pays decently enough so that I can start a family in the near future?

>>38806005
>Stop drinking alcohol.
b-but it's the only thing that lessens the pain of being alive

File: 726265515.jpg (12KB, 240x240px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 240x240px

>camping in the middle of bumblefuck
>raining heavily outside
>pitch dark
>didnt shit in almost 2 days
>have to shit badly
>simply can't shit outside, especially in these conditions

i guess I'll hit the sack and pray that I don't shit my pants while sleeping
wish me luck lads

File: tf_when.png (57KB, 155x165px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 155x165px

>>38805413
My family. I love them but I hate spending time with them, because I don't like spending time with other people and we have zilch in common. Now they start to make me feel guilty about it. Tonight I got a call from my grandparents who are reaching a ripe old age and they grilled me for not taking news and calling. But what the fuck would I say to them? And then right after my mother calling and says I must sort out my room as if I was still a goddamn kid. I put the phone down and swore at her.

>>38806238

Try to find something else you're good at, try to find a sport and become totally obsessed by it. It can consume your free time and benefit your health, your spirit of life and your mental capabilities.

>>38806239
lol don't be a pussy , what's the worst that can happen ?

My girlfriend just told me she had sex with a horse when she was younger and i dont know what to do now. i love her so much, but i dont know if i can be with someone like that.

>>38806271

Try to make something of yourself and have something you can be proud of. Whether it is a sport, a hobby, your education or a job, when you have something that goes (reasonably) well in life, you'll always have something to talk about.
Your family will be proud of you and you can go visit them without feelings of shame. Who cares if you talk about subjects that aren't intimate family matters? As long as you love them and spend time with them before it's too late.

I'm not entirely sure, which is maybe more troubling than something I'm usually able to quantify

>>38806328

What were the circumstances of her having sex with the horse? Was it abuse? Curiosity? How far did she go?
How old was she then and how old are both of you now?

If you're able to imagine how she felt and in what position she was when she did it, you might find a way to forgive her / accept it.

>>38805889
I've felt the same way, just like what's the point? I'm scared of the day that comes when I die, will it be fast and violent? Will I even know I'm dying? Will I be old and feeling the life leave my body as I become nothing?

Shit is scary, but it's something everyone has to face. Other people are getting on with their lives and I don't know if they've had the same realization or if they've just never even thought about the end. Shit keeps me awake some nights as I think about regrets and past mistakes that have lead me to where I am now. People I've hurt, opportunities I've squandered, stupid decisions I've made that ripple into the present I'm in now.

I think we just need to worry about living life and pay no mind to death. It's not like you feel anything after death. You get this finite amount of time and you're aware of it so why waste anytime sulking about it. Make the most out of the time you have left. It's never too late to do anything. Shit doesn't really take off until you're 18 anyway honestly. So if you're like mid twenties then you're not too far behind. You still have plenty of time to feel out things and figure out where you want to go in life. It's never too late.

>>38806301
i'm not afraid or anything my body just can't do it lol never could for some reason

>>38806353

General feelings of unrest? Anxiety? Nervousness?

The feeling that you don't know where you're going in life?

>>38806343
They're already proud. On the outside, I'm a great guy - just graduated from an elite high, going to study law next, and I have a reputation of being a thorough and dedicated boy since I was 8. Problem is I can't handle discussion, or laugh, with any of them, or even other people. And they have a false idea of who I am - I abhor work, I abhorred that school, and law was never my first wish. Third thing is I simply can't do it. I have this problem with people. I can't connect. It's as if you put me in a Brazilian family. I feel like a complete stranger even when I know they'd love for me to more present.

This hurst especially hard because of my grandparents. They're getting quite old and they haven't gone mad and I know it won't last. And I'm an only son, I don't even have someone else to make them feel better.

OP back again. Sorry it's late, I gotta go.

Im not sure about anything anymore

>>38806430
Thanks for your time, best wishes

>>38805413
I have accepted that I am never going to find love, romance, or any kind of affection from a woman and I had a dream last night where I was sobbing uncontrollably and I had another one where I got rejected by three different girls. Has my subconscious also accepted the fact that I will be alone forever? I am in the stage of acceptance but I still feel like maybe my biological imperative wants the longing of a woman. Am I just in denial?

>>38806424

OK, they're proud of you, but what would YOU really like to do in life?

It's your life and you should listen to family / friends for useful advice, but in the end, you're the one holding the steering wheel.

If you decide to study something you abhor, I'm afraid you'll regret it, which might cause you to quit your studies

Law isn't your choice.

>>38806500

I think that you're being consumed by your emotions. Why will you never find love / affection? how old are you?

>>38806506
In my dreams, I want to be a rich politician, at home or abroad. Or I'd like to live in America. But I know this can't happen anymore, with the way I am since a year or so. I was always on the fringe, but I feel I've really crossed a limit. Right now, I feel completely empty. All I want is eat, jack off, shitpost and play videogames (by my age my granddad was in the navy)

>>38806400
I guess the feeling of aimlessness, but that's never particularly bothered me before even though I was very aware of it. I'm just not able to settle into anything, whether it be college or work or whatever, every chore kills my momentum like a car that keeps breaking and flinging my head on to the wheel. I imagine most people do these kind of tasks without really thinking about them until they almost become like they never happened once they're done for the day. I just can't settle in and it feels like there's always a big timer over my head of wasted time when I'm finally free from them. Which, paradoxically, makes me even less interested in doing things worthwhile with that time. Maybe because I don't like interruptions or thinking about going into work tomorrow kills my mood. Can't say.

>>38806582

I too, long for a carreer in politics. I want to change the worl dfor the better and contribute to a good, healthy society and uplift the spirit of my peoples.

What country are you from? Also, why America and Why can't your dream happen anymore?

>>38806531
>Why
Because I have improved myself in every way that you can name (with the exception of earning a lot of money, im on the fast track to that though) and yet it's still not enough to get a date.

>How old?
I'm 25 and have never kissed a girl, so I think that giving up is a normal reaction.

Thanks for replying

>>38806389
Dying doesn't scare me on the whole, dying without having done anything meaningful terrifies me.
My concern is more with my life and how I can achieve the things I want from it. Right now I'm pretty much in an ocean without a compass. I've got some overarching goals, but zero direction on how to get to them. Every time I think I have a way to do it a combination of elements from my life or my own consciousness shit all over it.

I'd kill for even the tiniest hint of a direction in my life.

File: rokifeels5.png (659KB, 635x478px) Image search: [Google]

659KB, 635x478px

>>38806629
I simply love America, and I'm french. I also speak pretty great english. My dream can't happen anymore because I've shed the mask I long held in front of my face. I used to be eloquent and full of energy. I believed that my fate was that I would become rich and a senator or governor. But then depression hit. Or something else along the lines of social alienation and rejection. I became a no-life. Failed my grades. And I mean, I was never close with my family, but I tried to improve, and now I've given up on that too. So there it is. No dream, and no will. I know I won't make it. I'll never be good and competitive enough to be rich. I'll never have enough friends or charisma to become a politician. I hate everything now, from social media to blacks to society.

And this, right now, I feel like it will scar me for a long time

>>38806620

I'd advise to find a constant in your life, something which gives you power / energy.

It seems like you're stuck in the routine of life, which gives you lemons all the time. Everyone has lemons, but when you're low on energy, it can be very hard to swallow them.

Try meditation ( I know it sounds cheesy, but it can help you focus on what you really want and give the ability to clear thought)

>>38805413
I did a IQ test and I think the result is around 50

>>38805894
>reddit spacing
Piss of to r/incels lmao white people

>>38806729

It's good that you're improving yourself in a lot of ways, but social life is an important part of a healthy life. Do you have friends? How is the relationship with your parents / other family?

What is your personality like? There's bound to be someone for everyone. Especially if you're honest and an upstanding person.

I met my girlfriend in highschool and we've been together for about 4,5 years now. We've had trouble, a lot of it, though. Truth is, I almost lost my chance with her, because I was so robot that I couldn't believe she was interested in me and thought it was someone teasing / bullying / toying with me. The point being, at any point in life you can find someone attracted to you, whether or not they'll show it openly or the signals are very subtle.
When you have a general direction for what you want in life, seem determined and kind of open up a bit to people, you'll be a good way on to being open for a relationship.

yw for replying, i'm not OP, I came here to say my own concerns, only to have found myself taking over OP's thread after he's gone to bed

>>38806822

What are you talking about? I honestly can't comprehend your message

>>38806798

As you were able to create this sentence without any real flaws, I'd say your IQ should at least be 70-80+. Did you do an official test with a psychologist, or a shitty internet one?

Don't let such results get in the way of your happiness / goals

File: IMG_2567.jpg (69KB, 750x532px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 750x532px

Im kinda concerned about this girl who just got engaged with this 23-24 year old and they're having a kid together. She was in school with me, cute girl, had a nice nose and smile but I dunno man, it just bothers me that you would have a kid at 19 and engaged too. Like if she wants to do this in this economy then fine, have the kid, not really my problem but still it bothers me that a lot of people will do this when they have so much ahead of them

I dunno, all this has kinda made me wary of my own gf who said something about seeing how far we can get to marriage and that could be a red flag so for right now im just going back to stick to rubbers and anal if I ever get to fuck her

File: 1480003974886.jpg (55KB, 467x1166px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 467x1166px

>>38805413
Honestly, i dont know what i want from life. I have zero sense of identity and i try to find a glimpse of it by reading psychology, doing tests and analyzing dreams. So far, nothing. All my effort is for nothing. Even in school i believed that grades matters in the long run and i had a lot of hope about uni being a difference place. Sadly my hopes were crushed by realization that it was the same place as HS. I've been on gradual decline since then. Dont get me started on relationship matters because i'm 24 khv. I dont know what to think - whenever i'm unlucky or complete autist. I never had female friends or relatives in childhood, therefore i used to spend a lot of time with my young brother. There couple instances where girls were crushing on me but i never realized at that moment because of unknown reasons. I even ended up running from one chick and asking to reject me from another. There's something in me that i cannot understand. I was at my friend to celebrate a bit and see city fair but when i was going home on the train and looking to the sunny fields, sudden realization hit me that i wasted 24 years on absolutely nothing and i almost ended up crying at that spot. Why is everything so difficult to know.

File: IMG_5672.jpg (35KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 400x400px

Life has just became so dull, i do the same thing over and over without any purpose and even though i change environments it's the same job or study with a different mask and the vanity disappears once the smoke and mirrors are gone. It's like meta dejavu and it makes me want to cry, family cut ties with me way back and i've never even talked to someone to form a platoic relationship let alone one with mutual feelings of respect and love. The thought of doing the same rut of linear shit day in and day out like a mechanical servant for the rest of my life only to be snuffed out like a dim star in the night sky terrifies me but i don't know how to help myself.

>>38806749
I feel your struggles, man.

I don't want to be rude, but alot of things you're saying are mere assumptions. You might have good reason to make those assumptions, but they don't have to become the truth of your life. You're still in control of the steering wheel of life. You might say i'll never reach this or I'll never accomplish that, but in the end you have the power to change that. If you're able to motivate yourself enough, you can make that change.

Why did you want all those things in the first place? Think about how it made you feel when you wanted that all and how it motivated you in the past. If this doesn't work enough, try to combine it with current things in life that you want in order for you to live a fulfilling life

>>38806954
So, so many of our current societal problems could be ameliorated by young people just not fucking having kids before they're completely and confidently prepared financially, psychologically, etc.

Around 72% of black children born today are born to single mothers. Nearly three fucking quarters of black kids are growing up supported by a young woman working three different shitty jobs, while there's (most likely) no father figure to provide additional income and balanced childhood development.

No fucking wonder so much of the black community is poor and crime-ridden. Systemic racism my ass. Fix your culture.

>>38807128
>You're still in control of the steering wheel of life.
I am, but I'm simply empty. Nothing, no willpower to do this or that. I've tried already and I've been defeated. I wanted to be like that because it was simply my dream. I wanted to do good, to change the world, to make a mark on history, to be remembered. But now I think it's over. Here I stand at the beginning of my true life, with zero ambition.

>>38807142
I didnt even mention black people, the people im complaining about are both white

>>38807226
hahahaha what a stupid asshole

>homeless

jesus fucking christ this is so annoying. lucky a bought a massive jacket last winter

>>38807226
Alright, I guess I may have gone a little too far in the race direction...
I was just trying to use the black community in particular as a prime example of the consequences of teen pregnancy on a large scale.

>>38807335
>may have
log off and fuck off dude
way to own your shit, loser

>>38807220

I'm sad to hear this, anon. Maybe some time off will do you good. Move around to a new area, maybe do some odd jobs. Or help around a nursing home for the elderly and hear their life stories. Doing simple, but grateful work sometimes helps to find solutions for your problems.
If not, at least you helped some people who needed it.
(then again, I don't know how your family would react if you would decide to take my advice.

I have no friends, and nobody new I meet likes me or finds me fun/interesting.

>>38807378
I don't even want to work. Though I'll be forced to move into uni quarters during most weeks soon. I don't even want to change at this point. It would be too much of an effort

File: god that me.png (28KB, 516x210px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 516x210px

>>38805413
I feel like with all the shit that i'm dealing with right now, I'll never be able to get a boyfriend, much less maintain a relationship while trying to move past everything that's going on: college, mental health, transition.

What sucks even more is that I'm only attracted specifically to a certain type of guy (long hair, blonde, skinny, shy & innocent + virgin) & to top it off I'm a gay trans dude. Also,
I want to be able to play vidya with him &
talk alot about my shitty comic's worldbuilding,
but to find someone that's all of the above,
it'd be a gotdamn miracle lul.

Anyways desu I've given up on the idea of being able to get one until I'm pretty deep into college; I'm returning this upcoming semester so I guess I'll try to talk to people more & hopefully someone turns up sooner or later.

>>38807393

So you're going to go on with the plan of lawschool and see how it goes?

>>38807335

Well if your going to then at least use the south as an example because alot of southern states have the highest amounts of teen pregnancys

>>38807472
Yeah. I know its a good opportunity to make new friends and all...but its in one month. I don't feel ready. I don't feel like I even want to change. Lifes so easy now. I just retreat in my shell. Fuck it I've already tried once it didnt work so why try twice?

>>38807553

In one month I'll have my 3-4th attempt at studying university after spending 1 year to work on myself and fix my depression. I want to be succesfull this time and make it past the first six months / 1 year. If I fail, i'll be forced to just take a job somewhere and get training while in a job. This is hard, since I'm trying to work towards becoming dad-material for my girlfriend of 4 yrs (i'm 24

File: Sixth-Mass-Extinction.jpg (568KB, 1024x1517px) Image search: [Google]

568KB, 1024x1517px

Earth is experiencing a 6th mass extinction event that humans are responsible for and we are destroying the stable Holocene climate with our cheap fossil fuel addiction which will invariably trigger feedbacks such as the Amazon burning to tinder, the Arctic losing its ice, the collapse of the east antarctic ice sheet, and methane hydrate destabilisation causing hyperwarming, undersea landslides that cause tsunamis and anoxic oceans.

I cannot speak to anyone about this
I work as a fucking truck driver and feel guilt every day for my fossil fuel burning

I tried to make my boss switch our trucks to electric trucks and now all the other truck drivers bully me. They call me 'Mr Electric Fag' and smash my belly with electric plugs, which hurts badly. Also they forced me to eat circuit boards a few weeks ago because 'I love electricity so much'. They also make me keep pictures of gay robot porn in my truck for some reason.

I am scared and everyone laughs.

>>38807690
Top kek right here

there's a beehive in a gap where the roof meets the siding outside my room. I can hear them when the AC and fan is off and I don't know if they are tunneling or what

Kinda stupid, but accidentally blew someone off today. For whatever reason, I had thought we were meeting wednesday NEXT week. We're on for next week now, but they went out of their way to do this and now I feel like absolute garbage. Im gonna show up next week with a cake and let them know how sorry I am, but fuck, I really feel like a piece of shit. I've never just blown someone off like this.

File: 1501443138687.jpg (105KB, 661x699px) Image search: [Google]

105KB, 661x699px

I want a gf who would be a female version of me

File: dubbl d.png (30KB, 121x121px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 121x121px

>>38807985
>tfw female me would be too good for male me

I can't stop thinking that it's too late for me. I've been massively depressed for about 8 years now. I barely got a job 2 years ago and I'm trying to get back on track. But every time I think about what I need to do I feel like I'm 10 years behind. Every day there is this lingering feeling of dread. I can barely read anymore because I'm constantly assaulted by these negative thoughts. I can't remain where I am, but I don't have the drive to do anything about it anymore.

>>38807621
I plan to stay in uni no matter what, since it buys me time with family and gets me gibs from the government

>>38808080

Ok. I wish you good luck with that. I also hope that you'll find the motivation to start building your dreams again

>>38808106
Same to you originarion

File: 1501415846103.jpg (99KB, 723x691px) Image search: [Google]

99KB, 723x691px

>>38805413
I want a girlfriend who will excessively coddle me and love me but I don't know how to get a girlfriend and I think I've been left behind in being able to socialize and I'm a painfully shy guy, I don't enjoy trying to seek girls outdoors - it's just not my thing.

File: 1499708767861.jpg (23KB, 283x281px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 283x281px

>>38805413
i have really bad acne on my chest that ive had for years and years. i can never take off my shirt in public, so i cant go swimming. im always conscious of it in public and have to get t-shirts with tight collars, and it discourages me from getting a gf that i could probably get if the acne on my face was a little better.
i wish i could get it off my chest (get it?)

>be 18, graduated high school in June
>have girlfriend by some insane stroke of luck
>I like her but I wouldn't say our relationship is very healthy
>there was a girl in some of my classes
>let's call her L
>she's really fucking pretty, like easy 9/10
>I always thought she hated me
>I always thought she was just some roastie
>towards the end of the school year, she randomly started talking to me
>kind of tentatively talk to her, try to get an idea of what she's like
>not really a roastie at all
>she's really smart, really likes reading and science
>wants to be a marine biologist
>adds me on snapchat, I still don't know where she found my name
>we end up talking all the time over summer
>learn that she like actually unironically wants to kill herself and is depressed
>says I'm the only person who she feels comfortable talking to about it because the rest of her friends just scold her and act like she should just stop thinking that
>my girlfriend is NOT okay with me talking to her
>always accuses me of cheating on her
>gets fucking crazy about it
>actually have a pretty big fight over it yesterday
>she says I'm getting too close to her
>we've never even hung out, I keep trying to say there's nothing between us
>she gets mad and goes home
>last night, I'm just driving around because that's what I do when I'm thinking
>L texts me that she went with her sister and her friends to this shopping mall area and her sister is eating but L is just wandering around the closed mall
>She thinks shell get killed or something, etc
>Eventually she says something like "you should come here and talk to me and the homeless people"
>I'm actually pretty close to there, so I go there
>Walk around with her
>Eventually her sister comes and gets her at like 11:30
>she texts me this morning
>Hey thanks for coming out there and walking around with me last night, it really means a lot to me
I can't tell my gf, and I don't even know what to think. But it was good to write that all down here.

>>38808365
she only wants to ride your dick because you already have a gf

File: JUST.jpg (8KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 480x360px

My retardation. I immediately go into self preservation auto pilot when someone tries to interact with me or comes near me. I cover my face or chest with my arms and flinch anytime someone moves near me. I am very easily scared and assume I'm going to get hit half the time and sometimes instinctively run away from people or hide behind people. I'm very scared of conflict and avoid it by any means necessary. I went into rage a lot when I was a child/baby, attacking my parents in their sleep and saying stuff like "I'm going to fucking decapitate you fucking cunt" and did stuff like throwing forks at their heads and constructing rube goldberg machines all over the house to torture them. After getting bullied relentlessly to the point of becoming a mute I was put in therapy but they couldn't even get me to make eye contact, speak or move. My grandma forced me to go. I left for good after they kept trying to get me to raise my arms in a "power stance" while laughing their ass off as I got so embarrassed that I nearly passed out. I look like a lizard and have a nervous tic where my face morphs into something reminiscent of Great Teacher Onizuka when I'm embarassed. Every conversation I have is just me absent mindedly repeating words like "fuck" or "shit" and stuttering and mumbling stuff or making weird sounds that people don't understand until they realize I'm retarded and walk away. I slowly inch away from people as they talk to me until I'm all the way in the other room with my headphones on listening to the loudest noise music I can find to drown out their voice and all I'm thinking about is the quickest method to get away from them without them realizing. I've adopted to carrying these exploding rocks with me that I throw in the other direction in case someone talks to me so I can distract them and make an escape. These days I just run away or powerwalk out of the room or across the street yelling out "DID YOU HEAR THAT?!" or something that doesn't make any sense.

File: 1501511527138.jpg (148KB, 1020x759px) Image search: [Google]

148KB, 1020x759px

The only two friends I have are dating now, when we three are together they keep being lovely to each other and it makes me remeber how lonely i am, and now they are leaving me alone a lot

>>38808428
I don't know if she knows I have a gf, I've never really mentioned her because I don't like talking about it

I just got a warning for a post from yesterday on this board for asking, "Is anyone out there?" in a thread. Apparently it counted as a self bump, even though it wasn't my thread, and I was talking about suicidal thoughts with a few anons when suddenly they just left and didn't return. I bumped the thread because I was previously getting help and wanted to know where to go next and instead just got "Fucking kill yourself." before the thread died.

Even the robots have forsaken me.
Feels bad man.

>>38808478
Ik that feel, the one girl I really liked said she liked me but wasn't ready for anything else, a month and bit later she's dating my best friend, feels bad man

Drug addiction and a shitty job
I do (for a normal person) copious amounts of some pretty raw cocaine. I work at a shitty fucking grocery store and keep looking for something better, but I'm not qualified. I am tired of being broke, and my work stresses me out so much I have to go get fucked up every night. It makes me feel strongly suicidal and I hate it, but its also so hard to stop because I'm terrible at coping with stress.
I live with another couple and they are the type that are either fucking or fighting with each other 24/7 so I usually come home to that then walk the dog for a couple hours and go to sleep.

i accidentally drank spoiled milk and now i dont know what i sould do, i tried to drink other stuff but nothing helps

I molested my 73 year old aunt 2 months before she die

i feel horrible since

>>38808804
How long ago did this happen, anon?

File: 1499590396232.jpg (261KB, 1409x2048px) Image search: [Google]

261KB, 1409x2048px

I feel nothing but emptiness and anger
every day I wake up to spend the entire day waiting for it to be tomorrow, so I can do the same thing
As soon as I find the motivation to get out of bed and do something I will kill myself

>>38809034
I'm a bit younger but really similarly worried my dude, I've heard "if you don't be like what you do in college/university/workplaces you at least have figured out you don't like that and and move on," maybe that's of any help, ik It made me feel a bit better about not knowing, Also sunscreen by baz luhrmann has some pretty good lyrics about that, gl anon hopefully you find something soon

>>38809034
Hey man I'm in your same position but I'm 18 (still have 1 year of school left though).
You shouldn't have said you're 17, that'll just get you banned.
I really have my heart set on mechanical engineering, because I really really like cars and engines and anything mechanical. Sometimes I feel like creating a living out of something that's just a hobby right now might not be the best idea. Some people say "if you love what you do you never truly work" or whatever but I think that's bullshit. If you make a job out of something you love, you'll just end up hating it because it's not for enjoyment anymore.

File: Paul-Rudd-Oh-shit-im-okay.gif (1MB, 400x225px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 400x225px

I like my job, life is going pretty good but man I really wish I had a gf again. I miss cuddling, kissing, and all that cute stuff. It's so hard to find and meet people these days, especially when you're new to a city. Feels awful man, I just want some cuties to talk to me at the very least.

>>38809353
>I feel nothing but emptiness and anger
>every day I wake up to spend the entire day waiting for it to be tomorrow, so I can do the same thing
Pretty much this except I get out of bed to play vidya and watch anime all day to keep my mind away from my concerning lack of motivation, growing apathy, what a failure I am, and how much I hate myself.

I have always had the dream becoming an animator, but I don't know if I'm good enough.