"Oh, Chaaaaaamp. I know you're busy with your friends

>>38743987
NOOOOOOOO I ALREADY TOLD YOU NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I AM GOING TO EAT TENDIES AND PLAY SOME WOW BEFORE MY CUMMIES AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOOOOTHING YOU CAN DO TO IMPEDE ME

GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT

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>>38744047
"Raise the LCL compression level to maximum. We don't have time to deal with childish tantrums."

>>38744068
*STARTS FLINGING PISS JUGS AND CUM RAGS AT YOU*

I. SAID. GET. OUT.

>>38743987
Father, I draw porn for a living. I've made more than both you and mom combined all while living the secret life of a comfy neet.

Don't give me that look, I made my own business and it's thrived. You have worked for 6 days a week fir the last 23 years.

I guess it's time to pack up though. I'll be moving out tomorrow.

*tips fadora while loading freshly cook spaghetti into wallet

>>38743987
Just keep pushing those cancermemes, 4cancer.

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>>38744257
"Champ, I'm doing this because I care about you -- and nobody cares about you as much as I do. You could either sit there and keep making excuses or man up and dig yourself out of this mess, and it's as easy as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. It's as simple as that, Champ."

>>38744068
W-wait I-I'm sorry I didn't mean >>38744096 s-sorry p-please come back

*wipes piss off floor but slips and lands face first in it*

Dad posting is quite funny t b h

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>>38744387
Poor Champ...

>>38744525
*crawls towards your direction soaked in piss*

I-I want to improve p-please help m-me

*slips again and falls on ground breaking nose*

*wipe blood off nose only to cover face with piss*

WAAAAAAAAH

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>>38744525

ET PHONE HOME-no desu, sempai.

Uishi! Baka! Baka de gozaru yo? De gozaru na!

>>38744946
The fuck senpai a lam a

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TO GET GOOD JOB, YOU MUST SHAKE THE HAND
SHAKE THE HAND

>>38743987
I can tell this is the same kid posting every thread because oh how many a's he puts in champ. Nobody says Chaaaaaamp, it must only be his autistic dad.

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>>38745395
"Champ, you could either sit there and keep making excuses or man up and dig yourself out of this mess, and it's as easy as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. I didn't raise a quitter, Champ."

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Fuck it. I'm taking the bait.

It really sucks that you guys sit here and mock this. Father's who act like this are actually trying to help your lazy crusty ass get up and find a job. The fact that you sit here in your basement and laugh at this, a father figure who is trying to help his son (or daughter) out is fucking depressing.

Stop thinking these people who tell you to get a job are doing it to hurt you.

>>38745613
Some people here are like that, but I just think its a funny meme because I can relate. I'm not being condescending.

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>>38745613
"Exactly, Champ. It's all about seizing the initiative and taking the first step. And it's as easy as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. What's so hard about that, Champ? Nothing. And nothing's impossible."

>>38745613
you know like all job shit is done online right? like if you go in person in a suit with your dad all you're gonna get is embarrassment and also told that you should just go on the website

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>>38745814
"Those online applications may seem convenient, but you can't get a firm handshake out of them, Champ. And a firm handshake is the key to getting a job. The only way to do that is to show up, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there."

YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD MY PARENTS DIED IN A FIRE YOU SHITHEAD

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>>38746128
"Chaaaaaaaamp, all it takes to get a job is to show up, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there..."

>interview a guy for a job where I work
>literally says he can't come in on Tuesdays because he has WoW raid that night
>hours are morning to early afternoon
>he can't come in that morning because he has to play a video game that night
And these retards wonder why they can't get jobs.

>>38746157
top fucking zoz

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*sees you walking into the store to apply, notices the spaghetti falling out of your pockets*

>>38745613

The mocking is about out of date fathers who think you can just walk into the nearest corner store and get hired on the spot by being chummy with the manager like its the 1960s.

That's not how the world works anymore.

>>38745613
Dad might mean well, but he's just behind the times and it's frustrating when he acts like getting a job is easy. My dad did this to me and it was fucking humiliating.

>>38747280
post greentext


organisms

>Go to the bathroom really quick
>When I come back my dad is looking through my computer
>Ask what he's doing
>He says it's his right to see what I'm doing because I live under his roof
>Can see him getting close to... that folder
>Don't try to argue because I know it's only going to make things worse
>I have pictures of me dressed in girl clothes and fucking my ass not well hidden
>My dad is very conservative and has said he'll kick me out if I'm LGBT or an atheist
>Waited in the living room for what seemed like an eternity
>Dad finally comes in, a stern look on his face
>"Champ, I'm disappointed, but it's nothing that working can't cure. Get your clothes ready for tomorrow, Champ. I'm driving you around town to look for a job, and I won't take no for an answer. Remember to walk in there and ask to speak with the manager. Look him in the eye, stand up straight, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. It's time you got out of the house and started working for a living, Champ."

glad my 50 something father recognizes his experiences are in the past. He's even hooked me up with connections via his own friends 4 times now and not a single one of those could even get me a fucking interview.

Now a days they just keep telling me to apply for more shit than whatever I'm already applying to.

>>38746971

All the jobs I ever got were this way though, it really depends on how good of a normie impression you pass.

>>38745613
It's a quite good intention with a rather poor execution. This memes are mocking the poor execution, not the intention.

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>>38747416
Exactly, Champ. There's nothing that a little persistence, confidence, and a firm handshake can't solve.

>>38747309
>sitting in my room playing dark souls
>curtains drawn, complete neet mode while my brother is out with his friends
>Dad opens the door and sees me disheveled
>"Anon, you have to get a job this summer, you're not allowed to sit on your ass everyday"
>makes me print out a fuck load of my pathetic resume
>only previous job was volunteering at a summer camp for two weeks
>go to a bunch of stores
>luckily dad stayed in the car
>ask random employee for a job
>says he'll get the manager
>wait for an eon, holding my manilla folder trying not to sperg the fuck out
>manager shows up, tells me to apply online, and takes resume
>probably went straight in the garbage
>tfw the exact same thing happened every time

Eventually I would go inside, browse, and go out and tell my dad I asked. Less embarrassing that way.

>>38743987
Dad, why did yoy become the Trivago guy?

>>38747416
Yeah, okay gramps

>>38747445
Damn. How long ago was that? Did you evetually find a job or are you still neeting it up? Has your father given up or is he still persisting?

My dad is not that dumb fortunately. He keeps telling me to apply to anything and I shit you not I've done it. They just won't call me for an interview.

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>>38745814
>because filling out applications are online, that means you should never ever follow up in person
>follow ups are retarded, if Im the perfect candidate they should be able to instantly see my application out of the monthly-filtered pools of randoms
I too, enjoy these memes, but the core concept of following up on job applications is still important, and you shouldnt dismiss that because kek fonneh maymay

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>>38747492
"Champ, you could either sit there and make excuses or man up, put on some elbow grease, and dig yourself out of this mess. And all it takes is showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there? It's as simple as that, Champ."

>>38747475
I'm in uni, it was during summer vacation. I'm pretty much a hikki when I'm not at school, I haven't been outside in at least two weeks. He gave up after I had to wait 40 minutes for a three minute interview at a GameStop job fair.

>>38747516
Memes aside, how do you get past the stupid original filter by repeating the same shit everytime? Man this bloody filter is a meme.

I'm not a boomer, dad. Originally.

>>38747503
>but the core concept of following up on job applications is still important
how? If they didn't call you for an interview then you're calling in as a literally who.

Hell even if you go to the interview they tell you "well call you if we have a position for you". Trying to follow up is basically assuming their waiting to see who wants the job bad enough as opposed to just hiring the the best guy from the first batch that has someone pass the requirements their looking for.

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>>38747549
"It's simply a matter of persistence, Champ. And all it takes is showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you wanna work there. What've you got to lose, Champ?"

>>38747587
Get out of character and answer the question REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>38745613
>tfw I went job hunting together with my dad on his car in the past few weeks.
I love him so much.

>everyone sprouting the "only the resumes that are sent online get looked at!" Meme every time this thread comes up
>i got my last two jobs from handing out my resume in person
>one was seven years ago, the second was two months ago
>took me three weeks to find a job in between getting fired from the first job and getting hired again

My resume was the exact same each time. Outside of adding my last job when i got fired from it. Not sure what i did right as i sperged out on each interview i had

>>38747821
why did you get fired? What job was it? What's the new job you got?
post greentext

>>38743987
Getting a job is mostly about timing. Some jobs I've gotten on my merits and exp. but the good jobs are about random chance. Like someone just got fired and they need that spot filled. I guess I've gotten pretty lucky I suppose

I found a dishwashing job in a pizzeria and have an interview today, any dishwashing robots have tips?

>>38747712
Not OP. The filter is.shit, that's it. What kind of explanation are you looking for?

>>38748088
yeah for work shoes, get crocs, you won't go home with wet socks every night.
also i would get my own dish apron, the ones they provide tend to be extremely cheap and uncomfortable, the straps are usually shoe strings.

>>38744396
This desu i love it

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>>38747840
The job i got fired from was being a cashier, receiver, and stock clerk at a Shoppers Drug Mart. I got fired for applying Shoppers points to my card. The greentext isn't too exciting

>got the job in 2010, after a year of looking after being fired from the job before that
>put in 110% because why not
>they start fucking with my schedule, almost demanding i come in on my days off, etc., after a while
>they do this to me over the others, probably because I'm too agreeable for beta for my own good
>they basically dangle carrots in front of my nose to agree to this - saying that I'll get weekends off and not follow up on it, etc
>i was also the only one tasked with heavy lifting (primarily wheeling heavy seasonal stock uphill around the mall), so it was physically unsafe
>it was kind of okthe first few years, but got worse about a year and a half ago
>instead of getting another job or questioning it, I do something stupid
>start applying Shoppers points as a way of getting back at them
>this started around Christmas last year
>they caught on in April
>showed up one Friday i was supposed to work a closing shift, to be called into the office
>youre fired.jpg
>take my stuff gave them what i was supposed to and left

In retrospect, i should have just started applying for stuff before i was fired, but whatever. Working at shoppers was pretty shitty, though. Worst seven years of my life.

The way it worked out, it looks like i left one job and went to my current one.

I now work at a local grocery store, doing nights. The job's easier and safer.

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>>38748088
"Champ, it's simple: Once you've gotten there, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. No need to complicate things. You've got this, Champ."

>>38748635
Do you not now what an interview is? Seriously dad how old are you again? We have to do interviews these days, multiple interviews at times even...for basic restaurant jobs even if you got referred there by the kitchen manager (that was the case for me with my last job).

A handshake is just a pleasantry, its not something you trade for a job these days dad. What else could you trade it for back then?

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>>38748706
"Champ, you could either sit there and blame your problems on other people, or you could man up, pull yourself up by the bootstraps, and seize the initiative. All you've gotta do is stroll in there, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. It's as simple as that, Champ."

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"Of course we're still going to Chick-Fil-A after this, Champ. I know just how much you love their Sweet Tea and Chick-N-Strips, but we've just gotta make several stops along the way first. Turn that frown upside down, Champ. You'll never reach the higher branch if you don't jump. Now it's as simple as going in there and asking to speak with the manager. Look him in the eye, stand up straight, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. It's as simple as that, Champ."

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>>38744316
>tfw some random dude cares about forcing a meme more than your dad cared about helping you get a job
Why'd you give me these feels OP?

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>>38749471
"Champ, all you need to do is show up, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. Just like I showed you. You've got this, Champ. I know you do."

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So... how's the job hunt going there, Slugger?

>>38750739
I've got the job dad! I'm gonna be an Aircraft Technician in the Navy! I shook the recruiter and the Rear Admiral's hand and said "I'd like to work here"

>>38751635
Great champ great, so what else did you shake? *licks lips*

>>38751684
My head yes to an enlistment bonus!

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>mfw this is actually starting to get to me
Shit's cutting fuckin' deep because it's so fucking true.
Guess I'm getting dressed tomorrow and shaking some hands...

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>>38752478
"I know it's tough being away from your friends on that simple image board, so I'll drive you -- and we're not turning around until someone hires you on the spot. Remember the basics, Champ: Show up, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. It's as simple as that, Champ. You've got this."

As stupid as this meme is, I wish I had a dad who cared about me as much as handshake dad clearly cares about his son

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It's all in the handshake, Champ. A FIRM handshake.

My dad just stumbled into my room half conscious and said dy'e get job? Didn't have time to reply before he continued on his two hour long rant about nothing as usual. Normally he would piss himself and I'd drag him into the kitchen.