what is on your mind r9k

>>38700139
A lot of thoughts racing at once, thinking about everything from my future to my genetic shortcomings. So much that I can't really focus on anything and just let time slide by not realizing when another day is already gone.

skree skree

I never explained how weird i really am to anybody.
I have serious mental health issues and cant articulate that in a way a counsler will follow.
Or even care to listen.

>>38700139
I just found out that that store I have been working at for three years is closing down. It's the first place I have felt normal. I made many friends and am super upset I have to leave them.

how I need to change my major
how I'm about to still be khv at 20

and general sadness related to those two things

how I should fap because I'm bored

and that I wish I asked a girl for a second chance before I cut her off

>>38700162

what genetic shortcomings desu
>>38700199
why can't you articulate them desu

>>38700139
I clogged 2 toilets today - 1 commercial, 1 residential.

>>38700295
Manlet, dicklet, brainlet... They aren't horrible, maybe even average or above some, but I still feel inadequate. Add to this living in a 2nd world country, being kinda poor, lost all friends because of problems and whatever and there you go. Meh, I don't feel like saying more. Thanks for asking anon.

gonna be living in my car soon, so i've been autistically planning every detail and obsessing over it

I'm 5'8" and hate being short

I need a job. I hope I do we in college. I want to make investments. I want a small comfy cheap house. I want to furnish it perfectly with comfy furniture. I want a qt bf. I want to die.

I'm trapped in Riverside and have no money and my phones gonna die soon. Send help guise

>>38700432
i'm 5'6 and should have been aborted desu

>>38700359

I'm smart but I'm still a brainlet because I suck at math so no high-paying job for me

I'm a dicklet too but it doesn't matter since no girl will know what it looks like

>>38700569
im 6'2 and I still hate myself

>>38700543

there are no cheap houses but there might be qt bf. Are you gay/trans or a gril

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>>38700139

Trying to collaborate with multiple r9k op squads. Shit is hard.

>>38700648
probably a grill, a gay/trans would probably want a masculine bf

>>38700648
Gay and there are cheap homes in the midwest

>>38700730
well nvm them

I am ashamed
I met this cute introverted girl and met up 3 times, I think she likes me too.
Now yesterday I went out with colleagues to celebrate holidays.
In my drunken autism I sent her somr gibberish and a video of a guy picking up a kid and throwing him away

Its fucking over Im sure when she reads the messages she will think I am some dumb drunk failed normalfag

I had my first of what I'm pretty sure was an anxiety attack today. Felt extremely dizzy, heart racing, trouble forming coherent thoughts outside of general fear. Fucked me up for a few hours, for the first time I felt genuine fear at the concept of walking outside.

Nothing in my life is actively bad but that's it, I feel like there's nothing in my life at all. All my attempts at trying to progress have failed, and I feel like I'm just wasting my time while everyone I was friends with is moving forward with their lives.

I'm pretty sure I'll get past this, I like to think I'm pretty good at persevering. But I'm slowly losing hope of finding real freedom and long term happiness. I just needed to vent this somewhere where people might understand.

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>>38700139
The girl who ghosted me on tinder.

>>38700139
I want to spread a girls innie vagina lips and penetrate her pussy, I also want to lick her pussy and see her in pleasure while I find out what vagina tastes like. Sucking on her titties and massaging them would also be real nice, would also like to try out the 69 position.
>tfw none of this will ever happen
>tfw will remain a horny KHHV forever

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I have pre purchased a bunch of movie tickets. I live in a small town and normally the theater is dead quiet so they have no doorman to check tickets.

I am worrying if I need to go to the counter and present the ticket or if I can just walk in as I already have a ticket and they told me what cinema the film was in when I brought them a week ago.

I don't want to seem autistic going to the counter, and I don't want to be banned for walking into the theater and them thinking I am sneaking in.

The movie is next week.

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>>38700139
I want to get an job brother

>>38700139
>what is on your mind r9k

Jews.
I'm fucking sick of Jews.

>>38702641
I think about this stupid shit too. Makes me want to kill myself. What happened.

i just cut ties with a girl who's been distant and flakey with me, and both of are pretty fucked about it and i really regret it because she was my closest friend but I'm not going back.
She would constantly ignore me or flake on plans we made so when I cut her off she sent me paragraphs upon paragraphs about her confusion about it, apologizing, and seeing that she was being a bad friend but fuck that man. She treated me like trash for the better part of a year, I'm done with it.

>>38703010
Stick with it, and after a month or two you won't care. But you'll hate that you don't care. Or at least I did. But then even that fades. And now I'm alone.

But maybe alone is better than being a doormat, I don't know.

Considering changing my major in college, but I don't know if it'll actually change the things I hate about my life

gave up on trying to sleep again. fourth night in a row. insomnia 1 anon 0

im drinkin beers and stupid rappers are across the street on ketamine and i hate living in winnipeg but im drinkin beers and smokin weed so all feels good but is not well i hate you all you fucking dirty humans edge lord 1000000

I'm working on a song and I wanna add a tapping solo. I can't pull it off tho. I feel so shitty. Been playing guitar for years, thought a simple tapping solo would be easy but I can't get the timing 100% right.

>>38703144
email me ill do it for you

Sitting here on a Saturday night with nothing to do only to find out my friends are out together. Can't help but feel they're completely indifferent to me. They're not some shitty friends I met recently either I've known them my whole life. I always consider just not initiating contact and seeing how long it takes them to even say hi. But I always break. One of them went through some tragic shit and it's pathetic to think about but I feel like if something similar were to happen to me I'd be on my own.

>>38703193
Nah I will survive. I have infinite time on my hands after all.

>>38703210
no. email me.

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>>38700139
i missed out on a chance to get a top tier job, i would've never had to worry about money again.

but instead i chose to masturbate, drink beer, and play vidya. now i'll stay poor like an idiot

also god damn do i want to impregnate the fuck out of Mei

>>38703210
Join my botnet anon

>>38703246
[email protected]@suckgod

>>38700975
How about you tell her you were drunk and apologize, instead of giving up like a dumb drunk failed normalfag.

>>38700975
>a video of a guy picking up a kid and throwing him away
what was the gibberish by the way familia

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>>38700139
It's like a black hole. Everything I do feels futile. All I can see with every word I speak, every action I take, is just my dead lifeless body. All I can feel is my consciousness disappearing. It's freaking me out and sending me into constant adrenaline mode. I feel helpless and it's starting to spread into objects and other things that exist. Everything I see and touch, it's sort of like I'm the King Midas of despair. If I see something more than once I start to dread it's existence. I start to associate objects with helplessness. It's like everything that exists at this point only makes me feel sick to my stomach. I feel so alone. The worst is my bed. It feels like a coffin filled with maggots every time I lay down to go to sleep and all I can smell and taste everyday is my own rotting. I don't feel alive. I feel no pleasure or relief. Just a foreboding all encompassing emptiness that will never amount to anything but my death. The walls are closing in closer and closer every day. I feel it. I feel every tick of the clock. I feel the ghosts and the devil on my back. Right now all I want to do is scream and freak out and have a complete breakdown to get it out of my system and try to fight the inevitable and say fuck you to my own brainwashing and programming, but I can't. I'm dead where I stand. I'm a malfunctioning machine. There was never any freedom in the first place. I don't even want to be alive, I just don't want to be dead. It's a curse to be born into this cycle. Death is the only freedom from the human brain prison system, that is the only hope I got left.. I'll find out soon enough.

>what is on your mind r9k
Her, again.
Wishing I knew what I could have done better, pondering if there is a way to get it back. Waste of time, but I can tell that to my brain all I want and it still throws her name up like a faulty printer.

My dream from last night
>at some kind of party
>girl from high school is there
>suddenly grabs me and pulls me to the bathroom
>pushes me on the toilet
>both start undressing
>dick is a bit shy and wont stand up
>grabs it and rubs it on her pussy
>dick is diamonds now
>rides me for a while
>goes for a blowjob
>say my dick smells a bit
>ok no problem
>wash it quickly in the shower
>about to proceed
>wake up
But the feeling of pussy was really weird, like it felt better as when you cum but it was a constant feeling and way more powerful and it was felt on only my dick, not the whole body. But I'm not really good at saying how it should have felt. Still a khv.
It felt really nice, I mean the general feeling of it all, not the sex, like someone would care about me. Now I'm just going from sad to kinda happy because I felt that but I know I probably will never feel it irl.