>struggle through high school but get into decent university

>>38685223
You tied it wrong, dummy

>>38685246
I probably did since I did it in a rush when I got home.

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>>38685223
You seem to have a decent amount of motivation riding a bike 12 miles. I get that you're probably apathetic like most robots. Work on that. I stopped drinking milk and that helped, although nothing is a cure all.

I can't convince you not to end it, honestly.
Just know that a little obscure community full of social autists on the internet will miss you, even if we'll never personally know you.

See you (maybe) Space cowboy.

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>>38685223
If you kys, you won't just ruin your mom's love and money, you will ravage the years she has left.
Wait for her to die, then kys.

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just kys yourself, I want to do the same

>>38685223
>Why can't I do anything right? Why am I so pathetic? Talk me out of it or finally convince me to end it because I'm sick of living in this half-assed limbo.

Reading your green text, I'll tell you one thing, you've made it further than I have. I'm 26 and never worked, never had a relationship, and lost all my friends sometime after highschool. They all grew up and moved on so quickly, they had everything planned and strived for it. I had no plans, no will to do anything. I got through education, got into a psych ward myself after a failed suicide. I'm a really shitty person and I need to end it. For some reason I think I'm too good to just jump off a high building. Why can't I just do it? I've been in this place since I was 16. 10 years later, nothing changed. Am I doomed to continue this shit existence until I die of a heart attack or something? I really wish my life would change, worse or better -- probably deserve the worse option. If I got caught doing something illegal and went to jail, it'd probably be an improvement on this pathetic waste of oxygen I am. I really am a shitbag, I can't wait to die.

Good luck in finding your way OP, I sincerely hope you don't end up like me, but as I said you are already nowhere near my level of patheticness, you probably can continue to make something happen for yourself.

http://www.strawpoll.me/13559325
http://www.strawpoll.me/13559325
http://www.strawpoll.me/13559325

Holy shit i didn't realize the time post, he might actually do it guys help!

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>>38685443
>Why can't I just do it? I've been in this place since I was 16. 10 years later, nothing changed. Am I doomed to continue this shit existence until I die of a heart attack or something? I really wish my life would change, worse or better -- probably deserve the worse option.
I've thought the same basic thing so many times. If only taking action was as easy as self loathing.

Oi op don't do this man u still got hope and just bee urself

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Plz kill and post pics after

>still in school
>thinks he's at the bottom

Go get some friends so you can have help when you need it.

>>38685223
Don't do it. Sure life is pointless and you won't be here for very long, but that's also exactly why you shouldn't give up just yet. Living another 50 years is so miniscule in the grand scheme of things that there isn't really any point of dying just yet. You might as well keep on keeping on while you can. There's no coming back from death, but there's always a way of coming back from life.

>>38685599
I'm only technically still in school. The friends I do have already graduated or will soon and are moving on with their lives and careers. I was supposed to be in the same situation but I'm behind and in debt, and past actions (or inaction, rather) indicate that I don't have the mentality necessary to fix myself to a level I'd be satisfied with. Either my own standards are too high or my abilities are too low, but it doesn't really matter which is the case.

>>38685223
How did your bike "Break down" OP?

>start looking for a new job
>hug your mom when she gets home today (optional)
>tell her about your day
>tell her you've started looking for a new job
>keep on keepin' on

You can do it man. Life, that is. It kicks us all in the butt. Some, like you, sometimes harder than others.

>>38685568
>>38685443

Get some help guys. Talk to your parents, grandparents, friends. If you don't have any of those then speak to an authority figure - police, hospital staff ect.. If you don't feel up to that either than at least call a helpline or visit a website.

Life is so precious and you only get to live it once, though some would disagree about the latter. You're both typing on this site, on computers with electricity, probably in a warm home. There are millions of people in this world who have none of those things but they're determined to keep living.

Fortunately, I haven't ever felt this way myself, so I'd be lying if I said i understand what it's like. I do however have a story to share.

>working one night (emergency service)
>called to address of a suicidal male
>no answer to knocking
>kick door in, find suicide notes
>guy has written down where we will find him
>speed to location
>find him hanging from a bridge

This shit has stayed with me for months and I'll never forget his face. It really fucked my head for a while so I took some time off.

>cut him down
>still warm to the touch
>begin chest compression
>20 minutes goes by
>time of death 22:43

No matter who you are, what your background is or what you're good at there is no end the amount of strangers who would step in and try to put you back on your feet. It may feel like nobody cares about you but that's just not true. Not for one second.

Please get some help. If not for yourself then do it for the poor person who will probably end up finding you. Don't put them through that. It is possible to fix yourself but it's tough and you cannot give in. Keep powering on like the kids who don't have food or electricity or somewhere to sleep.

Go and find your mom and give her a hug. If she's not home then go hug your neighbour. Hug somebody and tell them how you feel.

you know, a few years ago i had a suicide attempt. what really hit me hard was seeing my mom and sister crying their eyes out. it made me feel so rotten and selfish, that i could cause them so much pain and worry. i hate myself for that. maybe its not healthy, but now i feel guilted into living.

>>38685795
Well I haven't ridden it a lot yet so I think I might've screwed up the gears somehow because the pedals kept "catching." I powered through most of it, even though it made me embarrass myself a few times along the route (I nearly turned myself into a tranny by almost smashing my dick with the frame while stumbling through an intersection after a stop). Eventually I did crash (just on a bike trail) and it bent my handlebars sideways. I didn't have the tools on me to fix them because I'm an idiot and didn't plan ahead.

>>38685845
100% back this.

>>38685851
Whenever I try to tell people how I feel they just take it as a joke or downplay it

>>38685858
As an /n/ fag I'll have to ask for bike pics.

>>38685912
Then you're speaking to the wrong people. Call a helpline, there's no shame in doing so.

http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

>>38685912
>Whenever I try to tell people how I feel they just take it as a joke or downplay it
Because if you say you have cancer you get all the sympathy in the world while depression is seen as "just smile more!! XD XD"

The stigma of mental illnesses sucks. My wife has depression and I've seen how it fucks you up. Every day is a struggle.

>>38685845
>>38685900

If OP is depressed, he'll just find this laughable. If losing the will to live changed your fundamental nature, then I'd recommend depression to everyone.

>>38685968
what i hate about those helplines is its usually someone reading from a script, literally. they have a script on what to say to you, and how to reply to your suicidal statements.

>Talk to your parents, grandparents
If my family cared enough to give an ounce of love then maybe I wouldn't be in this situation.
>friends
I'm on /r9k/ partly because I have no friends or social life.
>speak to an authority figure
They're still strangers despite their, and initiating something like that sounds troublesome. Normies don't care about someone who's suicidal, and they will only provide superficial pity.
>call a helpline
Seems superficial to ask for help from someone who gets paid to do that, and gets my details while doing so.
>visit a website
Again, I don't want superficial pity from someone who doesn't know me. Anyone can offer pity without actually meaning it.

>>38685928
I had to lock my bike up at a park near where I crashed so I could get home. I'm going to pick it up later tonight when my mom gets home with the car that can actually carry it. The only saving grace is that it's a nice area right by a trail with a lot of people that pass by so it should be ok until this afternoon. I'm about as opposite of an /n/fag as one can get so it's no doubt a simple or obvious fix, and a result of my inexperience riding long distances.

Your suicide will only cost them more money. The ambulance, funeral expenses, etc. Opportunity comes to those who seek it

>>38685223
>riding a bike twelve fucking miles to get to work
If you're that retarded then you don't deserve to live.

You're supposed to keep supplies if you do try to do that, so you can replace everything that might break on the bike, using your supplies.

>twelve miles
That's harder than your actual job most likely. I knew a guy that biked three miles to work and he said it wasn't worth it, though he got shit hours.

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>>38686017

>call a helpline
Seems superficial to ask for help from someone who gets paid to do that, and gets my details while doing so.
>visit a website
Again, I don't want superficial pity from someone who doesn't know me. Anyone can offer pity without actually meaning it.

Most helplines are run by volunteers. Samaritans, for example. Just do it.

>>38685997
>hug your mom
Most would find that laughable in OP's case, at least.

She'd think he's trying to manipulate her into not kicking him out, and acting like a child, rather than an adult like he should have been this entire time.

Please read this website OP, its helped me every time ive been feeling suicidal

https://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

>>38686085
I need the money (and the exercise too) and it was alright for the 5 or so miles I made it, but you're absolutely right in that I was retarded for not packing any tools or other supplies in case of an emergency. Story of my life though.

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>>38686145

Listen to this guy, or find a copy of the Peaceful Pill Handbook on archive.org. 8ch /suicide/ has good advice & links.

Yeah kys.
People act like life is such a big deal. If you don't want to keep going, in your hands is the power to end it all.
I feel sorry for your parents but you have to do what you have to do.

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>>38685223
>Got kicked out of college for crippling depression
>Head of my department told me that I need to switch because obviously it was because I was trying to get the wrong degree
>Nope had nothing to do with the fact that the college was built next to a Native American ghetto, no one wanted to be there, and it was fucking high school and middle school all over again

>>38685223
>shit existence

>>38685223
Should've been prescribed amphetamines
Literally popped them a few days before an exam and would get A, A-, or B+ at the absolute worse

>>38685223
>capable of working a job for more than a few hours
>thinks he has problems
Go fricking kys yourself

>>38685443
>lost all my friends sometime after highschool
Fuck you. Why did everyone but me had friends in highschool?

>>38685223
not sure if it'll make you feel better but i want to kill myself every day. i just can't seem to be able to do it.

if i survive i'll probably turn into stephen hawking. if i die it'll be a massive burden on my family and the couple of friends i have. it's a lose lose situation.

i had a thought recently, if i'm dead, nothing exists right? without my consciousness nothing exists. therefore if i died, my family wouldn't exist anymore?

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>>38685325
>kys yourself
>kill your self yourself
wat?

>>38686853
rip in piece idiot

>>38686799
no, they'd still exist, grieving

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OP here. I took some time and read some of the things people recommended and followed various links and other pathways around the internet about the subject, and I'm feeling a bit more calm now. Don't get me wrong, my shit's still all fucked up, but if there's one thing that has convinced me not to kill myself it's this: people who want to commit suicide are fags (myself included). Seriously, re-read my OP. I sound like a whiny fucking faggot, and that's still not as bad as some of the dick suckers on Reddit that I found. I'm sorry about bitching and moaning and promise that if I ever feel like killing myself again I won't act like attention whore and will just do it or shut the hell up.

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>>38685223
Live-stream, faggot.