help!!!

>>38646154

put a camera up, idiot

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>buy one of those tree face things
>shoot them the next time they go near it
>claim defense of another

srsly though just run them off your property with a shotgun or something

>>38646312
Yeah but how do I catch them though? The trees are in a blind spot of the house

>>38646397
Your only option is to go full tojo and wait in a spider hole. Plant like 300lbs of tannerite, wire a pipe bomb to a remote detonator and blow them the fuck up.

>>38646154
just lay down cardboards with nails sticking out of them around the fences the keep jumping over
or glue barbed wire to those fences

Tell the parents that they need to beat the shit out of their kids.

>>38646154
>be u
>c smol kiddos
>sense that shits are coming
>use sticky hands too clim tree
>se kiddos
>they hurt tree
>me think hard
>"if tree good, and they hurt tree, they bad"
>several happy with thoht
>kidoss luk around
>i sense fear
>use rear limbs to jump down
>"dont hurt tree"
>hmm
>wat rong
>my leg feel funny
>now leg dont feel
>i prowd of my sense, now i have none
>but kydus rin awaaa
>tre sef
>tre hapi
>i hapi

>>38646154
You have a right to defend your property when someone trespasses and uses weapons to assault you and your property. Since he's going there to kill you, but he keeps thinking you're a tree, you have to kill him with a hammer when he's on your property.

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>>38646154
kids will be kids, i used to burn shit all the time when i was a young lad

>>38646154
Put down some kind of animal trap, a bear trap maybe.

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OP, all these other suggestions are stupid. Here's what you should do.
>wear military surplus camouflage
>smear mud on your face
>hide under leaves and twigs
>wait for kids to come along
>blast them with napalm while screaming "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING COMMUNISTS YOU DAMN VIETCONG GOOKS"
>if you get in trouble just claim to have been having a traumatic 'nam flashback

Burning? Maybe you can try to play it off as he was attempting to burn down your house when you shoot at him with guns

>>38646154
Pour glue all around your trees.
I mean a fuckton of extremely thick, gloopy glue. Once they step in it, it'll ruin their shoes. and may even trap them.
You could also try a pitfall trap near a tree which is filled at the bottom with thick, gloopy goo.

Then there's the real zinger. Mix together the following:
>2kg hot chilli powder; the hottest you can buy
>1kg mace
>1kg cinnamon
>500g powdered cloves
>500g vinegar powder
Put it in a bucket and put it in a tree with a tripwire trap. When they set it off, it'll dump the mixture and leave 'em coughing and blinded. Just make sure you aren't in the UK, because here, criminals get the upper hand if they get hurt while breaking into your property; thanks, tories.