who /raised by narcissistic mom/ here? its almost 4am and if

Fuck anon, I'm sorry to hear that. I think my mom has narcissistic tendencies and I can identify with some of these (real shit at social interaction). I think the worst is feeling like I have to be her personal counselor. I just wanna be left the fuck alone.

You still live with her or the shit just really got to ya?

Everyone's parents are their burden.

How old are you? It seems like you've given this a lot of thought. Having a heart to heart conversation with your mom and dad separately and telling them what you just typed might give you some closure.

>>38633760
Bout to go to uni. I suppose its better to realize this at 18 than at 48. I just realized i literally wont function under these mental conditions in the real world for very long, just like you couldnt work for long if you had a slipped disc and never went to a doctor. But crippling autism and being poor have prevented me seeing a therapist so idk.
>>38633760
Ive talked with my brothers and my long time family friend (third brother basically) about this recently and it helped a lot, but i still cant get over this social retardation. That family friend is my only IRL friend and hes 7 fucking years older than I and hes gonna move for work soon.

My motto that ive lived by my whole life has amounted to "it probably cant get any shittier than this so just keep pretending to be a functional human and youll be fine" and its worked so far even when i keep getting proven wrong. But its not a good long term solution

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>>38633708
I strongly relate to this especially the constant judging and bitching about others mixed in with financial stress and lies

But I don't have plasticity around people, I'm the opposite if anything due to having what you call the "middle sibling treatment" i.e none and I ended up severely jaded

>>38634435
I would be jaded and cynical 100% of the time but for some reason i feel the need to at least try to work in new social situations, even when i fuck up every time and i end up worse off. Teach me how to give fewer fucks, please

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>>38633708
I wish I had someone in my family I could feel is on my side. I'm the middle child, both brothers are autistic assholes (I wouldn't be surprised if the older one had some Oedipus thing going on, because father is mostly absent due to his work), my mother is a narcisstic, loud, spiteful bitch and my father is too pussywhipped to hold any value as a role-model to me.
I'm betting my life on getting a job and being able to move out and sustain myself and starting life anew, because this place is a total cuckden and I wish to forget about my past.
I have no-one but anonymous imageboards.

>>38634579
Dont give up on your brothers, theyre the only two people on earth who know exactly what youre going through and you will need them when your back is against a wall. Either your mom is a spiteful narcissist or your brothers are autistic asshols, it literally cant be both. Theres almost certainly something you dont know about them; their autistic asshole attitudes are perfectly reasonable reactions to trauma they probably experienced before you were born or that you didnt notice. Trust me.

>>38634652
>Dont give up on your brothers, theyre the only two people on earth who know exactly what youre going through and you will need them when your back is against a wall.
Doubtful, most of my problems are due to their bullying. My older brother made me a robot, and my younger brother just made me sure that this is the correct path. My back is constantly against the wall just because they make sure I don't feel safe at home.
My older brother is only four years older than me, my younger one is 15 years younger than me. There was a brief time where I sort of got along with my older brother, but ever since my younger one became the most vile person I know, everyone's taking his side, I'm the only one going against the hive-mind.
My mother would probably be nice if it were just her and me. I just got the short stick, because I'm pissed of everyone's getting away with everything, and I get punished for trying to improve my life and instead they sabotage me.

I've tried to play their game or do things for greater good, and it all amounted to nothing when I was having a bad time in my life. I don't hate them, but I just wan't to sacrifice any more of my life to them. They're a much better functioning family without me too, afaik.

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>>38634539
For me jadedness isn't apathy, it's more like resilience.

Listen to what people say and ask yourself if it is relevant to your ultimate goal in life; tangentially, inadvertently, directly or opportunistically.
And listen to what you say, I feel I've mastered concise, stoic speech IRL. Imagine typography of the words that leave your mouth and then analyse it for accuracy and relevance.

OP here.
Sorry, I can't do this anymore
I'm going to run out in the front of a fucking bus

>>38634968
We're on the same wavelength of autism friend. That process runs through my mind every time i open my mouth but i fail in execution; i keep forgetting that if i want friends i have to sip at least a pint of codeine cough syrup a week and tell fucking everybody about it. I really really really hate tooting my own horn but im nothing if not concise/articulate IRL. I can maintain a convo reasonably well, im just a teensy bit too autistic by normalfag standards so nothing ever lasts.

>>38635026
Real OP here.
I would totally run out in front of a bus but i keep fooling myself into believing things will get better and that thousands of people have experienced what i did and have overcome it. Plus id feel like a pussy if i did.

real OP here, I've changed my mind, turns out my mum has big baaaaApppy zoooo WEEE MAMA!
haha life here is great don't worry about meguys

>>38636248
it boggles my mind to imagine the greasy unkempt faggot who thought this was a funny thing to post. are you also the guy who posts "MUMMY MILKIE" on /ck/?

>>38633708
My mom has been indirectly called a narcassist to me by my parents therapist (licenced psychologist, now my therapist cus a la suicide attempt and hes the only good one they know). Look up Othello Syndrome.
>accused my dad of cheating and used that as an excuse to abuse him emotionally and physically for 5 yrs untill he filed for divorce.
>Also now extending divorce artificially and accusing him of hiding money while her house gets built so she can waste lawyer money to spite him (and prevent him from getting approved for a loan)
>Older sister always got in screaming matches with her since my mom was awful to her
>Always called her a bitch or slut, but never directly (i said you are ACTING like one not that you ARE one)
>Didnt understand until around 12 why my sister hated her.
>Constantly tried to emotionally manipulate me into trying to get my dad to confess.
>golden child until i started telling her to leave me out of it
>i was super open emotionally before, now i can hardly cry ever even when im hurting really bad + occasional psychosis
>spent hour drives home from school telling me what evidence she found that day, how terrible my dad was
>and if i tried not to listen, how terrible of a son i was for letting him treat her like this
>never directly touched me, but often intentionally started fight around me or brought them to me to guilt me while she was crying cus somehow it was my fault
>told my dad after he pushed her away once for grabbing him and clawing at his back and taking his keys while he was trying to get away
>"call the police, see which one of us they will believe"
>tfw cant feel anything when i see my mom cry or feel her hug me except anxiety and tense while i try to figure out if its genuine or if shes trying to manipulate me

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>>38636600
Whoa calm down there bobby
Before you get dabbed on son

Yeah mine was all fucked up too. I was apparently too distant for her liking when I was really young so what she would do it take me to the grocery store when I was really little and she'd ask me to go get something from a different aisle. The second I got out of her peripheral she would run to the other side of the store and hide from me and I would freak out and start crying. She did this about two hundred times over the course of my childhood and the sickest thing is that she refuses to acknowledge she did anything of the sort. I've brought it up several times as an adult and she'll smirk at me and go "Anon I have no idea what you're talking about, don't be such a drama queen ;^)
I got a ton of stories if anyone wants to hear em

>>38633708
my mom has always taken herself way too seriously

I've only incidentally seen my parents happy together, the rest of the time they were always distant. I often felt like a surrogate husband, for example every time I was out with her it was a "date", and she usually made me hold her arm because "that's how to treat a lady", even though it made me uncomfortable.

And then she'd go and be extremely snide and smug
>"yeah, mm-HM. You can smirk all you want. Yeah"
That's my nervous tick and she likes to point it out in that condescending way as if she has me all figured out
She does this all the time and wonders why I don't like talking to her

I was emotionally enmeshed with her up until I was around 19, I now see that she did this to make it easier to manipulate me. I have a niece that she's already trying to do this to, even though she's only several weeks old and lives overseas.

I have a list of this on my computer


The worst part of this is that almost nobody irl takes you seriously if you open up about having toxic parents because society seems to have a very black-and-white view of parents, as in if they're not doing anything illegal then any complaints you have about them are automatically invalid.

>>38633708
literally my exact life
wew

Are we the same fucking person?
Holy shit I have literally your situation but dad left, I don't blame him