ITT autistic things you do. >Going to bathroom >Get bored

>>38622087
LMAO, LOOK AT THIS FUCKING RETARD AND LAUGH AT HIM!!!!!

>>38622087

I only shit naked. If I'm in a public restroom, I'll keep my shoes on and my pants around my ankles, but my shirt still comes off

>>38622087
If I injure one side of my arm then I intentionally injure the other arm to balance things out

File: 1497301330867.png (319KB, 669x605px) Image search: [Google]

319KB, 669x605px

I practice smug faces in the mirror.
also I describe things that I do throughout the day in a high pitched cutesy voice.

>piss in the sink, it's very cold and comfy desu
>forget how to walk when I catch myself walking, looking like a complete sperg
>put soda in tiny jars so I can feel like I'm an elf and I'm carrying around potions, eventually drinking them
>put tiny black ants in broth, also comfy
>make bracelets from dead daddy long legs leg's
>bump into people when walking constantly

File: IMG_3405.jpg (59KB, 960x516px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 960x516px

>>38623945>>38623945
>pretend I'm a popular youtuber and talk to myself while playing video games
I think that's it desu

>>38622134
fucking kek, though i always shit without my shirt on

File: e51b42e100d5c1deba4eb7c6aa7c7ab6.png (72KB, 165x166px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 165x166px

Pretending that I have a presentation or talking to people when I am home alone. I am have not been diagnosed with autism yet, but I know that we all have autism in our hearts and minds.

File: hold on.jpg (70KB, 702x1024px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 702x1024px

>>38623945
>put tiny black ants in broth, also comfy
>make bracelets from dead daddy long legs leg's

>>38624132
Pretending is anti-autistic

>>38624346
It adds a bit of texture robot :)

File: 9ozKYrTf_400x400.jpg (30KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 400x400px

>i pretend i have a gf, all my family know about this imaginary girl and think it's real
>sometimes i tell my mom "hey mom, im gonna hang out with my gf, see you later"
>"ok" she says
>go to some lonely places to sit and listen to music for 3 to 4 hours

lonely places i mean an abandoned factory that i found, some parks away from house and sometimes an Oxxo (mexican seven eleven, it has this tiny tables so i buy skittles or chocolates and eat them alone)

>tfw when this gonna be what im gonna do on my 19th birthday (27 of august)

I make scenerios in my head where someone I know is talking to me and I reply to the thoughts out loud so people would think that I'm talking to myself.

>>38622134
This is what I was gonna post, but I avoid shitting in public restrooms at all costs

>>38625102
You don't have a gf beacuse your too busy posting about not having one, instead of raping the frail old woman next door.

File: tired_eyes.jpg (29KB, 900x338px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 900x338px

>wake up
>turn on hot shower
>put towel on floor
>sleep
i also stalk cute girls on instagram

File: 1493241792611.jpg (56KB, 645x773px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 645x773px

>>38622087
>Using my belly as a drum, I mostly walk around in my underwear
>whenever I'm outside, ride a car, bus anything outside of my room I look for potential sniper spots or places I'd imagine someone sitting at with a weapon
>when I stealthfap I don't bother to go and get TP because I'm afraid of getting caught so I cum on my hands and smear it over my legs and belly
>after taking a shit I stand up and wipe
>whenever my normalfag friends say something stupid or something wrong on discord I make a face of disgust/disdain and pretend to look at someone with that expression
>caress the wall next to my bed with my hand like I touch a girls cheeks and pretend it's a girl because I'm starved of sexual interaction (KHHV)
>shitpost and get a huge grin on my face whenever someone replies to my post, sometimes it has almost hurt because I think it's so funny and I cannot stop
>pretend I'm a warrior with a spear (using a broom stick) and that I'm in a war or some similar scenario
>almost only drink water

>>38623945
How does one tie a bracelet out of spider legs?

Also what does any soup taste like

>Drink a lot of water
>lie down on my bed
>Shake my belly and listen to the liquid my tum tum make noise

>>38625153

The overwhelming majority of the time I'm the same way, but if it's really, really, _really_ bad, like "If I don't take care of this right now I'm going to shit myself" bad, I buckle.

>Talk very passionately musing on a subject as if I'm speaking to a lecture hall of people but I'm alone

>>38625444
I do that when I'm taking a bath. Usually I think I should write a book about my thoughts, but I cower at the thought that it would certainly be a disaster.

>>38622087
I hug my pillow to feel less lonely.

>get super comfy
>sudden urge to shit
>shit pants

>>38625242
>wake up
>turn on hot shower
>put towel on floor
>sleep

Wut?

I tend to walk around my apartment for no particular reason. I just stand up from my pc, do a couple circles around the rooms and continue doing whatever i was doing.

>>38623992
i do this too
also i sometimes walk around thinking out future conversations, i whisper what other people say and i think what i would be saying back to them.

>>38623945
>>38623945
>make bracelets from dead daddy long legs leg's

Sounds edgy desu, you must tell us how or take a pic.

>birthday
>Turning 19
>Go to pub expecting a lot of people to be there and get a couple free drinks cause it's Saturday and I know a bunch of old guys there
>Get there
>0 people in there
>Decide fuck it and get as drunk as I can
>Get a free drink from bartender cause I know him
>Pass out on bar for 20 minutes
>Leave and head back home about 1 am
>See bus stop and decide fuck the normalfags
>It's a wooden shelter bus stop
>Piss all over the seat and shelter while mumbling fuck normies and other stuff
>guy walks past and ignores me
>Stumble home and annoy brother for a while then pass out on my bed

Not really autistic but i was pretty sad

>repeat something that makes someone laugh so o can make sire om laughing atbthe right thing

>buy oven cooked pizzas but dont ecen cook them just literally eat it straight from the pack when unthawed

>straight up have conversations with myself vecause its the only way i can organize my thoughts under stress/duress

File: 1496865873624.png (86KB, 223x244px) Image search: [Google]

86KB, 223x244px

I pretend to be a non-vocal autist with a sub-70 IQ. I intentionally failed an IQ test for the purposes of roleplay. Outside of my room everyone thinks I'm completely disabled, despite studying geography, history, and literature in my NEET time.

>>38623572
>practice smug faces in the mirror.
>describe things that I do throughout the day in a high pitched cutesy voice.
Cute!

File: z39c12tmjhbz.jpg (33KB, 720x695px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 720x695px

>Accidentally kick wall/rock/whatever while wearing boots
>Feel nothing because steel caps
>Say 'ow!' anyway out of habit

Make weird humming noises when there's silence, do weird repetitive movements

File: 1498676610562.jpg (61KB, 512x512px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 512x512px

>>38622087
Prime taste my dude.

>>38625256
>after taking a shit I stand up and wipe
>almost only drink water
How are these autistic

File: 1488937232048.jpg (137KB, 323x454px) Image search: [Google]

137KB, 323x454px

>>38625798
>I pretend to be a non-vocal autist with a sub-70 IQ. I intentionally failed an IQ test for the purposes of roleplay. Outside of my room everyone thinks I'm completely disabled, despite studying geography, history, and literature in my NEET time.
A very particular situation.

>squat
>jiggle nuts

>noone is home
>Cock head to the right, as if glancing at a camera
>AHHHHHHHH

>running up the steps, glancing like above, slam fist on arm of chair or just any violent random movement
>KILL (number, large denomination; or simply all) NIGGERS

>Slap surfaces, yell gibberish or just grin like a mad man.

>Gibberish is sometimes about smoking crack, yell variances of smoke crack everyday, imagined releasing a mixtape under the alias crack monster

Once was slapping between the fridge and the handle, yelling smoke crack everyday. Didn't realize mom's boyfriend was home who actually smokes crack

All this combined with just about every other thing in this thread. Sound like I have tourettes. Only do this when alone, not diagnosed with anything

>>38622087
>go to bathroom
>turn on tap but dont wash hands, just want people to hear it.

>repeatedly press the lock button my keys causing my car to beat. Do this late at night for hours.

>make weird bird noises.

>have arguments with myself outloud when in the car or in my room.

>interview myself as if Im a champion.

File: C__Data_Users_DefApps_AppData_INTERNETEXPLORER_Temp_Saved Images_1491061523120.jpg (103KB, 900x1200px) Image search: [Google]

103KB, 900x1200px

>pretend I'm a civ leader in front of a mirror
>imagine I'm a starving soviet worker or North Korean soldier when I'm hungry
>banepost to myself irl (bonus points for that one, since I mutter to myself in English which is not my mother language)
>open multiple tabs of cute anime girls and threads on /c/ and just browse through them while listening to music
>after a good (or bad) civ or eu4 session I can spend hours imagining how my country could evolve further
>since I was 14 I've had this world in my head in which all adults died for some reason and children up to 18 took over; I still sometimes come back to this world and imagine battles on the streets I walk on, politics, day-to-day life and such
>browse 4chan on a phone
I'm not diagnosed but I sure feel like I have some sort of mental retardation.

>>38625899
>tfw I'm like the guy in that pic, but nostalgic for 2011 and early 2012

>>38625678
I do this too, especially when I'm really bored or concentrating hard on something. I end up lying on the floor sometimes too before I catch myself

>walk around my house and randomly say NO BLACKS ALLOWED in a stern monotone voice

>See younger brother
>Say "oi, you know this is a BLACK FREE ZONE (in above voice)
>He's white like me

>Randomly say THIS IS A BLACK FREE ZONE, sometimes to my dog
>Have to actively suppress this when in public

>Don't actually hate black people

File: 1475364573666.jpg (127KB, 789x792px) Image search: [Google]

127KB, 789x792px

when i'm really tired and sit on the shitter, i sometimes start rocking my head up and down and also hit my thigh lightly with my fist

>>38626159
>since I was 14 I've had this world in my head in which all adults died for some reason and children up to 18 took over; I still sometimes

This except it's pretty much been evolving around, or with different elements from whatever anime or video game I was into. Mostly Halo and Naruto. You must be way more complicated then me or something

>Taste a little of my pee when it's a funny colour to make sure I don't have diabetes
>Chew on undigested bits of plant in my poo (like seeds and stuff)
>>They actually taste like the normal food with a bit of a nutty flavour overlaying
>Cut my body hair with rusty, sharp pliers and create little hair piles
>Pull hairs out of my body and squeeze out what sebum/blood I can from the folicle
>Have an imaginary bf
>Sleep in my cum and imagine it's my bf's cum
>Eat my toenails in hopes to increase their gold content
>Roll my liquid snot around in my fingers and on my hands until it collects enough skin to become rubbery, then flick it in my relatives' beds
And probably more.

I haven't figured out how to ask someone if I can pet their dog. I know that you just straight up ask, but I can't bring myself to do it.

>>38622087
I decided to learn Middle Egyptian; rn n km.t
It is going slowly at the moment...

>>38622134
I too shirtless shit. I tried it after watching the seinfeld episode where george did it and the comfort is too good to resist.

>>38625334
I hate it when I can feel liquid sloshing around inside me, gives me the willies.

>>38626098
Did this a lot when I was a kid, also did "cock-ups". I didn't know it at the time but I guess I was training my pelvic floor muscle.

I talk to myself and pretend I'm a popular twitch streamer while playing video games.

I also listen to music and act like I'm performing live in front of thousands of people when nobody is around.

>the effects of being lonely

File: 1500746446927.jpg (4KB, 206x219px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 206x219px

>shit backwards

File: e4c6a202efb6bb4b48e1bff276abbb43.png (6KB, 390x470px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 390x470px

>>38626315
LOST xD
I also say stuff like this at home and am really worried that it will slip out in public and that some black guy will hear it and beat the shit out of me

>>38625798
Underrated post. This man is a hero. I've always wanted to do this.

How do you keep up the act around your family, etc? Have you been doing this since you were a kid?

>>38626912
i'm interested too


kuhkjuhhfytf

>>38622087
I cuddle in my bed and pretend I'm a little baby animal with another girl baby animal

>>38626912
>>38627502
I saw Gilbert Grape around the time when I was five and started imitating DiCaprio's character and never stopped. His retard babble was funny to me. I've become so good at it that I have to stop and talk to myself in my room normally to remind myself that I'm not actually retarded. My parents don't know any other me other than the retarded me. They've broke down crying before when I do something retarded in public but I'm draped in so many levels of irony that I don't care.

>>38622087
>get home
>rip belt off and yell "LET IT RIP"

>>38623992
I've been doing this for the past few years. I still havent gotten the courage to make a YouTube channel yet.

>>38625678
It's actually good that you do that. Sitting for too long causes the risk of you getting blood clots in your legs to rise in the long run. Your autism is helping you.

Run my bath deliberatly too hot and sit on the toilet as if the bathroom is a sauna or some shit

File: 1444274197068.jpg (192KB, 1276x716px) Image search: [Google]

192KB, 1276x716px

>have long meandering conversations internally with people I may have to interact with (coworkers, strangers on the commute, classmates, etc)
>repeat these conversations and certain points in these interactions with different choices like my life is a visual novel and I'm trying to get 100% S rank completion

Whenever I drink water I intentionally dribble it or sip it so that half of it pours onto my chest.
When in public I have to stealthfully pour it under my shirt so it wont leave a wet spot

>>38622087

> Go to the bathroom for whatever shit.

> Look myself in the mirror.

> Start doing stupid faces.

>>38622087
How long does it take you to go to the bathroom if you're getting bored? I'm a bit concerned OP

>>38625113
That's pretty much the case

>>38625242
Hey, I think you're me

>>38622087

Randomly shout Call of Duty 4 OPFOR voicelines,

"Almanteka mahmeyah!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-aXkfnHXIQ

>>38625242
i completely did that in middle/high school when i wanted to sleep more

>>38625654
He do

>>38629588
thats pretty hilarious, but man its crazy to think that this game came out 10 years ago this fall... and what an incredible time it was

oh how the time passes

>>38626363
>>Eat my toenails in hopes to increase their gold content

tf?

>>38629588
in mw3 survival mode there was always a guy in the first few waves that screamed something that sounded like "SENITALA" and i'd use to scream that randomly.

>>38622087

please be a girl and please be in london

I talk to myself when no one is around. I have engaging conversations. Like it's more enjoyable than talking to other people, because I don't have to hide anything. I can just be me. It's terrifying how much I like it.

File: 1438048870173.jpg (7KB, 220x182px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 220x182px

>>38625102
too noided

File: 1499566575095.png (3KB, 614x620px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 614x620px

>>38622087
Talking to my cat and waiting for its reply

>>38622159
fuq that is too close to home famalam sempai desu

>>38631852
One of the opfor guys in mw2 soundd like he's saying "Applebee's"

>Have conversations with myself about protecting my (3) friends
> I'll just set up a situation in my head and act/talk through what I would do
>I guess I do this so that I look badass when something actually happens and they finally accept me as a bona fide equel to themselves

>walk into the bathroom just to stare at myself in the mirror for a few minutes
>take really long showers; just sit in the shower and feel the warm water
>sometimes talk to my dogs like they're complete idiots
>have a kik group with a lot of my friends in it that we used to use; it's basically defunct now but I like to go in there occasionally and say shit post tier stuff
>sometimes when I'm really getting into my music I like to pace back and forth in my room

>Start thinking about some videogame, anime, movie or book that I really liked.
>Start telling the story half thinking/half mumbling from the very beginning.
>Think I am telling this to some unspecified person.
>Tell them about moments or things that I enjoyed about it because I thought they were unique and original.
>As I'm doing this start concentrating less and less about what I was doing and eventually walk around my house until I finish talking.
>Sometimes spend more than an hour doing this.
>If I'm bored when I finish, instead of returning to what I was doing before, I start talking about another series, or even just start again from the beginning with the one I was talking about.

mfw I do this using all the tones and expressions i would use while talking, even more, and taking questions and answers.

I really need some friends.

Used to crouch down and stick the heal of my foot into my anus. It felt good when you moved around

>>38622087
>Dance erratically by flailing my arms and walking in a circle when happy.
>Sit in my underwear and draw humpty dumpty and moon people and hang the pictures all over my bedroom.
>Check outlets and vents for small cameras in case the neighbour is spying on us.

>>38625817
>Cute!
Until you realize how I look like.

File: 1445695211329.jpg (48KB, 330x319px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 330x319px

>>38625798
>>38627732
top kek
this can't be fucking real

>>38625798
>I intentionally failed an IQ test for the purposes of roleplay
"intentionally"

File: 1501060225886-168678308.jpg (2MB, 3264x1836px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3264x1836px

>>38632998
>walk into the bathroom just to stare at myself in the mirror for a few minutes
>he doesn't keep a mirror on his desk to take hourly stares

>>38626159
The thing with adults dying and kids taking over is an actual book. Forgot the name but we read it in Jr high.

>>38633252
I got a mirror in my room to stare into when I'm on my computer. The bathroom one just happens to be more satisfying because it's bigger. I like both of them though.

>>38622134
>>38625153
>>38626547
>shitting naked feels good

Fuck no. Probably the most uncomfortable shit you could ever have. Feels fucking weird.

>>38625817
>cute

sure, if you're retarded from watching manga cartoons. I think it sounds disgustingly stupid

File: 1500283493175.jpg (8KB, 225x350px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 225x350px

>>38625784

>buy oven cooked pizzas but dont ecen cook them just literally eat it straight from the pack when unthawed

>>38625798
>>38627732
Dumbest lie I ever heard on /r9k/

File: crowcig.jpg (50KB, 700x523px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 700x523px

>Smoke cigars in my car with a collared shirt on with half the buttons popped open like I'm an 80's movie star
>Mumble out full-fledged conversations while pacing
>Go days without showering to build up a fine musk
>Stack piles of cans/bottles/glasses/plates in my room from previous meals like a fucking cartoon character

>scrape my tongue dirt off with my nails
>squish the dirt between my fingers till it dries
>sniff it until it turns brown and hardens
>break it up into small pieces and sprinkle it on my face
posted this somewhere else once

File: 1498190297647.png (49KB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 200x200px

>>38633666
>tongue dirt

File: 12282.jpg (35KB, 225x350px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 225x350px

>>38633682
the peach colored stuff on your tongue that appears when you don't clean it

>>38626612
do you suck shit through your asshole?

>>38633698
>when you don't clean it
>not always cleaning your mouth every day

Pretend I'm straight to my friends

>>38633722
it isnt that simple, anon

File: WIN_20170726_06_06_14_Pro.jpg (24KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 640x360px

>>38633666
oooooooooooorrrrrrrigiinananaal

File: WIN_20170726_06_06_57_Pro.jpg (36KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 640x360px

>>38633666
oooooooooorrriganooooooooooooooooo
arigonal arigonal arigonal

>>38622134
I always thought my housemate was retarded for doing this. Actually thought it's because he shat himself in school onc ein like grade 6 or something and that he has a phobia of getting shit onto himself now.

But fuck clearly it's "common" practice

I have trouble getting to sleep so sometimes I imagine myself in fantasy or anime worlds till i fall asleep

when i cook something i pretend like im in a cooking show doing commentary on it

>>38625771
are you me?
oregano originallo

>>38625798
what do you gain from this sort of behavior, anon?

>>38633830

what the fuck brush your fucking teeth nigger.

>>38622134
i do this too you aren't alone

>fart and then smell it
>shit and then smell it
>put my finger in my butthole and then smell it

>>38634326
i do
it just grows quickly and smells kinda nice

>>38622087
>Breathe

>Look somewhere random and lipsync to a song like i'm in the music video

>>38630342
Same, and at the same age. Eventually parents caught on, so I had to adapt. I could get some semi-conscious sleep just standing there under the water and leaning against the wall in the last two years of high school.

>sit in the same position for way too many hours not doing anything just staring into space.

File: 1500658869474s.jpg (3KB, 125x109px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 125x109px

i spend more time drinking the shower water than cleaning myself.

>>38623992
>tfw a friend or relative would come over and you all start to play video games
>doing commentary like "take this!" and making Karate "hi-YA" noises.
>anytime you're alone you're dead quiet.

File: 1428163328855.jpg (7KB, 231x218px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 231x218px

>>38622087
>Piss in the shower or sink every night
>Check on the the fridge every 30-60 minutes to see if there's food for me to eat later.
>Can't walk in a straight line
>Mess up my sentences every time i talk
>Rock back and forth on my chair a lot.
>quote movie lines when i'm by myself.

It's not just me r-right?

>>38633347
Was it Lord of the Flies?

>>38634560
Water from your hot water heater isn't as clean since shit collects at the bottom of it.

>>38634613
Not same poster but no, lord of the flies is about kids trapped in an island, the book he is talking about is Gone (i think), wikipedia says that everyone older than 15 disappears and kids develop superpowers or something.

>>38623945
>put soda in tiny jars so i can feel like I'm an elf and I'm carrying around potions, eventually drinking them
thats pretty cool actually

>>38622087
>snaps and does finger guns in front of mirror in and out of bathroom
>randomly yells things i heard in anime no matter the hour
>randomly starts scatting and sounds like randy newman
>rolling head around/sway head back and forth
>walks around like a cowboy with spurs on and says either "its high noon, its twelve o'clock," or "this town aint big enuf fur the twos of us"
>makes car noises when i walk around the house
>use my headphones like a hairband

>>38635607
>when i see something funny i make these weird low pitches laughing noises where i suck air in
the last one is hard to describe

>>38635607
>>38635654
oh yeah i forgot this one but i have conversations with my mind in my head. Basically its like my body and my mind are two separate entities communicating through telepathy in my brain and i sometimes accidentally say we instead of I when talking to people

>>38631514
I heard from somewhere that most of the gold you absorb from food goes to your toenails.
I want to have sharp, metal velociraptor feet.

>>38633452
>>38633835
Are you fucks retarded or do you just not notice the shit stink that seeps into your clothes and hangs around you all day?

>>38626315
>>38626765
I have a black cat who is super friendly and meows a lot so sometimes i call her a nigger and curse at her and stuff in a monotone voice so not to scare her and when she meows back i pretend she said something to me and then i respond with another racist remark.
The big thing here is that im just like you guys in the fact that i dont hate black people and in fact i dislike people who do
>>38633718
kek

>>38634603
no, actually you're not

Sometimes ill randomly just start singing "god bless the USA" in a really deep southern voice and purposely tear up when i get to the part that goes "and ill gladly stand up"
The funny part is I hate America!

>>38626112
>>Slap surfaces, yell gibberish or just grin like a mad man.

You and me both senpai. I think that's the psychosis setting in. It's getting worse.

>try to do random impressions, including but not limited to: brian blessed, alan partridge, rik mayall, gordon ramsey, anyone from the undateables (especially richard), nigel farage, donald trump, shlomo shekelstein, joel from vinesauce, joel's dad etc.
>talk to myself a lot, doing what some anon earlier said which is reviewing anime and games to myself in depth
>do random anime and hentai noises like "iiya, yamete~"
>start slapping my arse really hard
>try to nut on my own face
>do a nazi salute whenever I crack open a beer
>sit there watching hitler and mosley speeches, saluting along with the crowds
>if I'm naked and I've gone for a piss, I walk around like a cowboy to stop my penis muscles from relaxing and dropping excess piss on the floor
>sometimes supplement this by walking around going "who you callin' pinhead"

>walk around my house acting out scenarios I have made up in my head, spinning, punching air, whatever I'm doing in my imagination
>usually me as a character in a book or video game favourites are DBZ, Inheratince Cycle, LotR, Star Wars
>mutter to myself all the while, what I would say etc
>mum thought I stopped but nope
>Imagine brutally bashing people I hate
>smile at myself all the time in mirror, make faces etc
>have entire fantasies in my head about my life in different scenarios
>constantly think about how I could have acted in social scenarios (torture)

File: 1501011892237.jpg (60KB, 596x471px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 596x471px

>>38622087
>get in the shower
>make the water freezing cold
>"i can feel the power of my ancestors"
>"i have to withstand the Test of The North"
>"I CHALLENGE THOU, GOD OF THE FROZEN SEA"
>run under the freezing stream while singing the theme of dovahkiin

>>38636273
Quality autism, the other day a girl asked me what do skin meant because I wrote it down, "uh it's from a game"

File: leland.jpg (60KB, 786x532px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 786x532px

Every time when cooking:
>sing Mairzy Dotes in the manner of Leland Palmer in Twin Peaks over and over

>talk about fitness with co-worker
>accidentally slip out "Auschwitz mode" when talking about former physique

File: 1489883548245.jpg (331KB, 753x707px) Image search: [Google]

331KB, 753x707px

>Always shower after shitting instead of wiping ass when at home
>Toss in japanese exclamations when I'm alone thinking out loud, like "ii ze" or "YOSH"
>Lean against the bathroom door while pissing to see how far I can step back and still make it into the bowl

File: 5541.jpg (61KB, 1000x800px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 1000x800px

Make this noise as a sign of relief for something

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0OTwiFMRoC2

I almost never take empty drinking cans out of my room and now my desk has about thirty ish just piled up. I have a steel plate on my table along with a hammer and when I get bored I smash the cans.

Also, sometimes when I am at the beach, I like to get sand and put it in my hair and then rub it out of my hair. I also do it with that fake dirt you find on turf whenever I go to the sports field next to my house.

since i have 0 motivation to do anything i make a list with things to do each one associated with a number and then i use a randomizer to let destiny decide what should i do

If I want to know if a letter comes before or after another letter in the alphabet (example is g before or after t), I have to recite the entire alphabet in my head.

I'm extremely slow at math. I've completed high school yet, I still haven't even fully mastered addition when it comes to big numbers like 143+234 for example

Sometimes I mix up letters in sentences forcing me to read them over and over again to understand them

>>38633718
No I sit on the toilet seat backwards, there's a bit of a step behind mine so I can rest my feet and have that semi-squat position to aid shitting and also I can place my phone on the cistern to browse the internet or watch videos, has made my shits 10 times comfier

Poo taking a while? Doesn't matter, I'll watch some YouTube or netflix

>>38637630
What's the longest you've ever been on the toilet watching videos?

Whenever I'm going somewhere (example my kitchen to my bedroom), I start counting down to when I'll get there. I make up some scenario like the entire world will explode if I don't get there in time or something.

>>38637650
like 40-50 minutes whilst i had the shits

>>38637780
Nice. One time, I watched the whole first Jason Bourne movie. It was great up until I finally got up.

>>38633830
Made me gag, you're fucking vile. Kill yourself.

>>38634347
Thats not autistic

>>38635732
Gold's soft as fuck though.

>>38627732
I don't even believe that

>>38632582
another guy in mw3 survival mode would very very clearly yell "run, spaghetti!"

File: meta.png (352KB, 500x376px) Image search: [Google]

352KB, 500x376px

>>38635755
haha, and checked

File: content.jpg (10KB, 128x193px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 128x193px

>>38637561
Did you read Luke Rhinehart's The Diceman?

>Imagine how your life could be for hours on end
>Imagining yourself as someone else for hours on end
>Imagining you rocking the school with your band , even imagining the lines you will sing
>Fap to gay porn only to become straight again afterwards
>Worldbuilding a manga you made up in your head

>>38622087
>post unironically on pol

>>38623992
I do this with everything
Even when im going to sleep i talk to myself like im on youtube

File: Remember.gif (2MB, 450x450px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 450x450px

>>38625102
>>tfw when this gonna be what im gonna do on my 19th birthday

Oh fuck I didn't need this feel right now.

>>38626315
me too
>act like a racist white person from the south, say FUCKING DIRTY NIGGER and shit, all ironically
>think of myself doing something but imagine it's someone else
>play with imaginary cats
>if see a picture of a cat move the cursor over it pretending I'm stroking it
>pretend I'm a speed runner, say I'm getting really bad RNG here folks etc. when fucking up
>re-read posts I made and pretend I'm someone else reading them
>when waiting for a web page to load, blink eyes slowly until it's loaded
>when watching a western cartoon or movie imagine what the japanese dub would sound like
>watch video of people arguing and start getting worked up
>prefer to eat standing up
>panic when phone isn't in pocket, even if I'm just using it
>watch porn with the headphones off when no one is home

>>38625899
Same
I just say ow when something touches me out of habit

>>38638999
I do all of these.

>re-read posts I made and pretend I'm someone else reading them
>watch video of people arguing and start getting worked up
>prefer to eat standing up

I... I didn't know these were autistic

>Dig in my ear or navel. Sniff th3 finger I used.

>Sleep on the couch even though I have a nice soft clean bed.

>Prewrite a thread in my head a try to predict what anons might post in it. Never post it though

>If I get a reply to any comment I go back and read mine and giggle when I realise it was funny enough to get a (you)

File: IMG_2031.png (29KB, 640x400px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 640x400px

>talk to myself like im recording a youtube video all the time
>always turn on the shower when i shit

>>38626124
>turn on tap but dont wash hands, just want people to hear it.
Aw crap. Same. Also
>Turn on the exhaust fan in the bathroom to cover up fapping/late night snacking
I thought I was being clever.

>>38639105
I always give myself an enema in the shower after shitting. Haven't used a single square of tp in about 6 years.

File: 1497847254009.jpg (29KB, 489x467px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 489x467px

>>38625784
>buy oven cooked pizzas but dont ecen cook them just literally eat it straight from the pack when unthawed


FUCKING WUT

>>38633347
The Dead by Charlie Higson?

>>38638999
>watch porn with the headphones off when no one is home

When I was a kid I'd take my laptop to the basement and connect it to the home theatre and watch porn on the big projection screen with surround sound whenever my parents were working out of town over the weekend. Good times

>>38639255
we didn't get a TV with HDMI port until I was 18. But before that I'd burn hentai galleries to DVD and put them in the family TV and put it on slideshow.

File: 1473788454443.jpg (376KB, 1600x814px) Image search: [Google]

376KB, 1600x814px

>Search up a walkthrough of a game with no commentary and act like the playable characters, this is my only form of exercise.
>get obsessed with a single hobby for a couple of months then never pick up that hobby ever again
>pretend that I am in a WWI trench when I am trying to sleep and for some reason that helps me
>Became real life Hardy Dent, using a random number generator for almost every minor decision

>>38639272
I keep a collection of vids and mostly pics numbering in the 10 GB range hidden in the directory of a game on a 1 TB external HDD. I named the folder "bin" so it doesn't look out of place in the rare event someone opens up that game directory.

>>38622087

Go on long naked runs at midnight

Listen to the intros of songs on repeat. Not the full songs, just the intros. I usually never really enjoy anything after the beginning

File: images (2).jpg (10KB, 443x332px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 443x332px

>>38626159
I banepost too LMAO. My dad was pissing me off today so I just turned to him and said "First I will break your spirit, then your body"

File: images (28).jpg (25KB, 390x377px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 390x377px

>>38632385
>waiting for it's reply

sometimes ;if i need to remember something,i burn myself while reciting it
it works

>>38622087
>Whenever I'm home alone I was walk around to make sure no one is here
>imagine myself having a conversation with a friend and summarizing a anime or movie
>dissect anime and games
>over think shit sometimes
>always make sure I'm not being autistic in front of our cameras
>OCD of how many times I can do something, is used to he so bad that I blinked in sets up to 1,3,5,8,12,15,16,18,20,22,24,25,30, etc.

>>38639970
First thing I do after waking up is check the garage to make sure my mom's and sister's cars are gone

>>38640043
Most of time I can tell because they're loud and my room is the closest to the living room.

>chew and swallow a 5 pack of gum every day, sometimes more

>Shout out random Japanese video game voice overs in my head. Most of the time from Naruto
>Tap foot making a song as I work
>Go on walks at midnight and none times out of ten, end up taking off clothes somewhere and jerking off or walking around pantless
>Pretend I'm being ganged up on by a group of Ninja's or something while I'm alone like in the movies
>Used to pretend I was a car and make engine noises in my head.
>Make these weird noises that range from a low gutteral growl when I'm angry (my friend told me I sounded like his dad's Camaro) to a weird high pitch whine when I'm sort of sad.

>>38622087
>talk to myself
>eat boogers
>dance around when something goes my way
>check outside to make sure nobody is around if i leave my house
>avoid all social media
>listen to classical music
>observe my shit and try to remember what meal that probably was
>hey arnold theme song is a track on a mix cd in my car

>>38626315
I adopted the bad habit of yelling "FUCK NIGGERS!" really fast when something bad or shocking happens.

This really only comes up when playing video games because I go to great lengths to control myself.

>>38633043
I feel you. The only difference for me is that i've started to have intense political debates with myself and I get genuinely mad at myself because I just can't see my own point of view.

And then I forget the entire "conversation" and wonder why i'm so worked up.

>don't take my medicine (anti psychotics) until I get super triggered.
>take them regularly for a week before I stop.
F*ck this world. F*ck politics. F*ck kids.

File: 7e7.png (44KB, 270x200px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 270x200px

>>38633912
Same desu. Also whenever I play potential scenarios in my head, I imagine them as an anime episode.

>>38636108
I relate so much to this post ;-;

>>38622134
>constanza.png

>watch Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy repeatedly, in varying order
>meticulously analyze every visual, musical, and narrative theme, and every character relationship I can observe, drawing parallels between the films
>empathize with every character, reading between the lines to decipher their unspoken motivations
>cross-reference everything with my encyclopedic knowledge of Batman comics
>unironically come to the conclusion that Nolan is a master filmmaker and Tom Hardy's Bane is the greatest Batman villain of all time

>spout random phrases to myself without meaning to, which have no relevance to whatever I'm doing or thinking about
>"kill it," "you lied," "get out," "I did this," "let it happen," et al
>never do this around other people

>drink either wine or malt liquor all day every day

It might be more than just autism tbqh

>>38640932
>don't take anti psychotics
>start fantasizing about different characters taking hold of my body and killing women
>start to take anti psychotics when i start to feel i might actually commit a crime
>rinse and repeat
One day I'll be famous

>>38622087
>tear out beard hairs whenever idle/nervous
>reach certain point where beard isn't salvageable
>shave what's left of beard
>desperately want a full beard
>begin growing again
>repeat cycle for years
I think it has to do with thinking of the past/future instead of being in the now.

When I need to shit I hold it in for as long as possible while also letting it get really close to coming out and then clenching it in because I love how it feels.

>>38638999
>pretend I'm a speed runner, say I'm getting really bad RNG here folks etc. when fucking up
As someone who speedruns I do this too but it's cuter because you don't.

File: 1456167262373.png (229KB, 357x415px) Image search: [Google]

229KB, 357x415px

>Have conversations with myself
>Similar to the above, I'll have full on discussions with myself on how I'm going to approach a situation
>I'll tell myself to shut up
>Either fail to make eye contact, or give someone an unrelenting stare
>Hold my pillow to fall asleep and imagine it's a girl
>I dwell on "mistakes" I made in conversations for years after the fact
>I try to practice how I would defend myself, and how knock over someone who tried to attack me despite rarely even going outside
>I hate reflective surfaces, I used to be so bad that I would turn my monitor around to face the wall when it wasn't in use
>I often go weeks without showering
>I often think noises I hear outside are people trying to break into my house, yet I've never suffered a break in

I'm sure there are other things that I'm forgetting.

File: live with.gif (47KB, 306x469px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 306x469px

>When I feel lonley I pretend streamers and youtubers I follow are my friends.

>go to mall or any place where you can push the door open
>use foot to push open door by putting heel in front of it then by stepping you push the door open
>still put my hand up to make it look like I'm using it to open the door but I'm not even touching it

>>38628209
I'd watch your YouTube channel anon

>>38644015
It would probably be easier to just be a twitch streamer. The interaction is direct so it could help with lonliness but then again communicating compared to just posting and waiting for comments can be difficult for some.

>>38625798
You dont 'fail' an iq test
What /lit/ do you like to read?

>>38622087
I Pretend im on a cooking show when making food, and explain everything I do.

File: 1500515438730.jpg (258KB, 876x2048px) Image search: [Google]

258KB, 876x2048px

>>38622087
I open public doors by putting my hands under my shirt and using my shirt as a glove.
I wish I could explain it better, but it looks autistic.

I also have to wash my hands anytime they touch somebodies hand

>taking a shit
>say "moe moe kyun" out loud and put my hands in the shape of a heart
>time it so that i say the "kyun" right when my shit plops into the water

video related
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvuyLWPHsj8

>spread my ass with my hands while taking a shit

>>38626112
I been there, but a roommate heard me.

>>38637313
Thats crumb rubber usually from old tyres and will probably give you cancer

need to start titling these threads, "Im too naive to realize that i'm not unique whatsoever"

>>38638751
>Fap to gay porn only to become straight again afterwards
i do this too ironically of course

>>38626315
I was doing this before the black exterminator knocked on the door to my apartment. Asked him to come back in 15, got dressed, and fled the scene.

File: 1450141737570.jpg (77KB, 540x960px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 540x960px

>Google immage search qt celebrities and just stare at them for ages, imagining life together while listening to music

>>38625256
>>when I stealthfap I don't bother to go and get TP because I'm afraid of getting caught so I cum on my hands and smear it over my legs and belly
...
what?

>>38625784
>>buy oven cooked pizzas but dont ecen cook them just literally eat it straight from the pack when unthawed
Dude...

>>38625784
>>repeat something that makes someone laugh so o can make sire om laughing atbthe right thing
Are you having a stroke here?

>>38625256
When I stealth fap I jus come on dirty shirts and Chuck in the the dirty laundry pile.

>act out meeting internet frineds irl when taking walks, i say both of our voices out loud
>lay on furniture like a cat
>un-ironically ree when scared/mad/triggered
>make random noises when a conversation dies because i dont like awkward silence
>moan in my sleep

>walk around in my underwear with my rifle and pretend like im clearing rooms in a warzone

>>38622134
A friend does this and i tried it several times, i dont feel any difference

>>38639970
>Whenever I'm home alone I was walk around to make sure no one is here
I do the same, no idea why.
Also me:
>search the house for active recording devices whenever alone at home
>stare at the mirror for minutes while I imagine myself in a "Lenin pose"
>imagine a heist/robbery whenever forced to go to a store

>>38622087
I make a bets with myself over small things and pretend in my head that specific peoples lives are at stake over the outcomes.

>>38622087
I have a categorisation system for letters, when I read a word I have to rearrange it to feel satisfied.

>>38641977
You're an above average sized dude.

File: 1498939791937.jpg (20KB, 354x347px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 354x347px

>>38622087
I randomly laugh and talk to myself multiple times through the day. my co-workers kinda got used to it after I said I do 'pills'.

File: download (3).jpg (12KB, 201x251px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 201x251px

>>38622101
Youre the one whos retarded tbqh. Dont you feel ashamed that you didnt get a reply despite being the first one to reply to OP and that the next anon after you has lots of replies?

>>38634355
that is a fucking yeast infection you got there boi fucking go to the doctors

>>38622087
oh boy here we go
>strip naked and poop on the floor on a paper towel sometimes
>collect armor and run around the house and yard in 95+ lbs of kevlar
>mowed the lawn with a bomb suit on because of wasps
>shit in the shower when constipated
>clip my nails absolutely evenly
>can't fall asleep until at least 2AM so listen to music and fap
>be under the covers and smell my own farts
>think about girls a lot
>never do anything with my old friends, they never contact me
>make things with the wrong tools out of metal in my basement

File: 1500959675231.jpg (41KB, 391x386px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 391x386px

>>38622087
>talk to myself all the time
>talk like im streaming when i play vidya
>make reaction pic faces in the mirror
>sometimes look somewhere and make a reaction face like im in the office

File: IMG_0851.jpg (21KB, 461x352px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 461x352px

>>38627826
Are you the same guy from that other thread? Or is there someone out there who's on the same level of autismo as that other guy?

File: 1497300571931.png (103KB, 217x320px) Image search: [Google]

103KB, 217x320px

>>38648217
>sometimes look somewhere and make a reaction face like im in the office

I have big ass wall mirror next to my computer and I do this to myself every time I read something funny. I just did this while reading your post.

>>38632385
What would you do if it responded, anon?

>try to pronounce words like a japanese would
>pull out my pubes and my ass hair by force
>talk to my friends on facebook about how good was my last masturbation
>take out my buggers and roll them on my hand so i can throw them away even when i'm around with my friends, i'm trying to stop doing that shit tho
>have massive random boners while walking on the street, i deliver food on a completely erect state so i start to stutter in fear people notice
>sometimes drool while playing guitar
>clip my toenails and leave them on the ashthray
>open my asscheeks to feel how my farts come out smoothly
>talk to girls with absolutely no topic for conversation but keep insisting the next day even if they stop talking to me
>make multiple plans with different friends on a friday night just to go to sleep early
>cut the corn on my toes with a scalpel

shit i wasn't so self-aware of my autism until this thread

>>38637313
take those suckers back for some quick cash

t. an alcoholic

>>38645067
We have a camera in the living room. I'm a bit paranoid about sound taps and stuff too.

File: 1461885383058.jpg (54KB, 604x453px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 604x453px

>>38623945
>>put soda in tiny jars so I can feel like I'm an elf and I'm carrying around potions, eventually drinking them
>>put tiny black ants in broth, also comfy
>>make bracelets from dead daddy long legs leg's

>start singing the beginning lyrics of I'm Blue to myself when I'm alone

>>38644326
Same only i pull open doors with my hand covered by my sleeve. Same with pushing carts, and i also wash my hands every couple hours

File: IMG_0779.jpg (58KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 1280x720px

i have a girl cat and a boy cat and like 10 times a day ill look to the girl cat (her name is kitty dont ask) and I'll say "Hewwo kitty, we can be fwends!" like what puff does in that old wow machinima illegal danish

>always wear socks
>eat food with gloves on
>eat fries with a fork
>walk on the balls of my feet
>drive with my hands on 8 and 2

File: IMG_2836.jpg (936KB, 2662x2662px) Image search: [Google]

936KB, 2662x2662px

>close all blinds
>plant pic of my waifu somewhere in house
>watch porn home alone
>strip off naked
>go room to room in my house like I'm SWAT clearing rooms
>holding my cock as a gun
>pretend to keep updating people on my radio as I search rooms and masturbate
>see waifu
>"target spotted, over"
>burst in the room screaming "GET DOWN GET DOWN" and cum on the pic
>"we got a dead suspect, over"

>>38625798
You have made it meet brother.
Very inspirational DESU I have been working on the same thing except I want to learn the c language.

>>38622087
I practice boxing punches while taking a dump.

File: 1484003638533.jpg (41KB, 564x467px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 564x467px

>talk to myself as if i am talking to another person until i snap out of it and tell the "other person" to shut up
>Make random poses,hand gestures and facial expressions to my screen while i am reading posts
>Think about other peoples conversations until i think of a way to dispute everything one person said,sometimes even continue to conversation by making the other person answer my dispute and than dispute everything i already made up for the other person to say
>Imagine myself as other characters whether fantasy or real life and live out their lifes in my mind
>Randomly walk up to a mirror and stare myself completely lost in thought for a couple of minutes,can't remember what i was thinking when i snap out of it
>Lose myself while i listen to music,start moving randomly,and it is getting progressively worse.At first i would just hit my table with my hands,then i started throwing my self at the bed,then i started to drive around the room in my chair and now i start to get up and walk back and fourth until i snap out of it.

>run up the stairs on all fours
>sometimes pretend I scored a winning goal/touchdown/3pointer and act like I'm celebrating to the crowd
>talk to myself about music I'm hearing for the first time like one of those reactor channels

I work in an office and most of my incredibly secret autism comes out there.

>extremely piss-shy, can't go when there's anybody else in the bathroom and resort to frantically muttering the Fibonacci Sequence to distract myself
>pluck a single pube and drop it on the floor next to the urinal every time I take a piss
>barely hold in the urge to yell "YO WHAT THE FUCK" if I hear someone's shit splash into the water

>randomly spurge out and say racist things out loud or just make strange noises when alone
>describe my cats to themselves (like "you've got 4 paws and 2 ears and 2 eyes and whiskers and youre gray and white and soft and have a tail")
>if i leave my home for anything even just to take out the trash I must shower first thing when I get back
>leave empty plastic water bottles all over my home
>pick all of the green skittles out of any bag of skittles and throw them away

>>38654104
Oh I forgot one
>randomly break out into really shitty basically gibberish "rap" songs like: "yo im a gangsta nigga yeah rapping and doing drugs everyday uh ye im a real ghetto gangsta" etc

>>38639152
You remind me of the one thread about a neet who got exposed because he enema'd into water bottles after not being able to shit normally. Somebody please find it

>>38654246
Well not exposed kek his mom found out

File: 9649649696.jpg (26KB, 600x396px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 600x396px

>>38652106
Posts like these are what keeps me coming back to 4chan.

File: im an anime gurl on the inside.jpg (79KB, 488x694px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 488x694px

>>38623572
I found your facebook.

File: 1480484753827.png (31KB, 720x644px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 720x644px

>>38622134
I remove socks pants and underwear when I shit, but that's because I squat on the toilet, shit pass better.

>>38625444
I do this when I'm high and hiking in the woods while larping as Jordan Peterson's, desu.

File: KEK9.png (98KB, 200x203px) Image search: [Google]

98KB, 200x203px

>>38625798
If this is true please stop pretending to be retarded and go talk to your parents like nothing ever happened, their reaction would be priceless.

I know that sounds mean as hell but you're so deep into it you might as well pull that off

File: 9c14f529a484dede2e2cf776145cf1a93203bc6ebc109babe7f6b5291972e46a.png (216KB, 393x391px) Image search: [Google]

216KB, 393x391px

>>38625256
>whenever I'm outside, ride a car, bus anything outside of my room I look for potential sniper spots or places I'd imagine someone sitting at with a weapon

File: images (24).jpg (16KB, 307x478px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 307x478px

>>38622087
Will randomly do pic related when at home. I even resemble young Adolf Hitler.

File: ci9Dldw.jpg (22KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 640x480px

>>38625798
You could have posted a more relevant picture.

File: 1500771024229.jpg (64KB, 720x540px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 720x540px

>>38625798
You're going to suffer for that later. The worst people to do this to is your own family. You aren't smart for knowing useless trivial facts that you can't apply in real life.

>>38633043
I do this but I'm too insecure of my own voice so I whisper.

When I'm outside late at night I take my shoes off, weather permitting, and walk barefoot.

Randomly out of nowhere i just start singing about dicks

File: serveimage.jpg (29KB, 320x320px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 320x320px

Back when I was in high school I listened to music and pretended I was singing it in a talent show at school.

>>38655732
>Willies! Willies! I love Willies!

>>38627732
Holy fuck anon, if this is real you're a hero and an absolute legend. Include me in the screencap.

>whenever I remember something really awkward I uncontrollably start speaking my thoughts aloud
please tell me I'm not the only one

>>38625113
That's not autistic anon

File: 1492009903897.jpg (236KB, 800x800px) Image search: [Google]

236KB, 800x800px

>>38626159
>open multiple tabs of cute anime girls and threads on /c/ and just browse through them while listening to music
Good hobby, when I was at my lowest smoking weed every day I would just do this for hours, usually with overly sentimental anime or game soundtracks playing

File: HORRIBLE.jpg (119KB, 655x578px) Image search: [Google]

119KB, 655x578px

>>38626363
>Roll my liquid snot around in my fingers and on my hands until it collects enough skin to become rubbery, then flick it in my relatives' beds
I do the first part but not the bit about the beds.
Pic related, my face reading your whole post until the end one

>>38633990
A free pass in life.

I like to stare my self in the mirror and do whatever I want to do, I think "Alone there's no one to judge you so nothing is really considered weird"

I use the blunt end of a needle to scrape out the dirt under my fingernails and then smell it, i love the smell

File: hSmiCf_I_400x400.jpg (17KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 400x400px

Balancing soda cans on my asscheeks whenever mom buys a 12 pack because inspired by this picture a few months ago.

>>38637625
You're dyslexic.

File: 1500853501618.jpg (45KB, 512x512px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 512x512px

>>38633098
>pretending to be another anon
I am quite cute if I do say so myself, which I do.

>I can't stop usi g my hands like trump when I explain shit
>Run my finger over asshole after wiping to double check its clean
>deliberately ignore people no matter how close or what they're saying for no reason
>dress like a retard

>>38623945
Eating ants make you stupid, anon. Either that or it makes your memory bad.

>>38622134
I did this when I was a child because once I somehow managed to shit on my t shirt.

>>38622159
So if you lost your right arm would you cut off your left?

>>38622087
>home alone in my sweat pants
>start singing in very low voice to myself and doing retarded leg movements and hand flailing trying to imitate dancing

>when ever i am at the cash register, ATM or anywhere i need to wait where there is table/surface next to me i tap my fingers to the device while waiting for the transaction to complete

>Tell jokes to myself in my head in public, somethings randomly bursting into laughter when i think of a really good one
>Then coughing a fake cough and trying to act like nothing happened if someone saw me laugh

>Squat in the shower and piss
>Grab my dick and try to make shapes in the air with my piss

>Sit at my computer desk, tap my knees while waiting for replies, loading or anything

>Walk to the fridge, open it, wait there for awhile, forgot what i was supposed to get, close the door, return to computer, remember what i wanted and get back up to get it

>At the toilet, take my shirt off and move the trashcan under my feet
>Lean forward and try to force the shit out to make it go faster

>Ignore people making eye contact with me even when i know they are trying to make eye contact with me and talk to them without establishing eye contact

>Blurt out randomly what i actually think when it is very inappropriate (learned over the years im the only one who does this among my friends)

>Feel the urge to laugh when someone is pouring their heart out, mourning or crying because "haha her face looks funny when she cries" goes on in my mind, actually laughed at my grandpas funeral when his brother was trying to tell a heartwarming story of them going fishing together, they hate me now

>One time pissed on my chest in shower to see how it felt because "the water will wash it away so who cares, im going to scrub myself off anyway"

>Have imaginary arguments inside my head where i try to make both sides win the argument, aka i roleplay as 2 different view points to try to understand other people

>>38636849
Everyone does this
original

>>38637625
I do all of these too, but I read fast, so I never assumed I was dyslexic.

File: 1369500239059.jpg (18KB, 510x430px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 510x430px

>>38622087

>be 15
>be real dumb shit
>make ramen that is really overcooked (i didnt know better back than)
>saw that the neighbor was looking through my window so i wanted to scared her, run to the room where the computer was laughing like saggi the dark clown with my ramen in hand
>tripped over a rolled up area rug, causing the ramen to land over my right hand causing burns

mfw when my mother walked in on the aftermath

>>38635884
lmao I do that shit with the southern voice too and I'm not even American

>wrestle with pillows
>make up storylines inside my head whenever I'm walking long distances and continue developing them from wherever I left off at the last walk
>pretend I'm a streamer / vlogger and talk to myself constantly, especially when playing videogames
>pretend I'm being asked questions about different shit and start debating with myself
>cook and eat naked

File: IMG_20170621_150837.jpg (31KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 400x400px

>>38625102
Hey I also become 19 on that day.

File: 1483208964882.jpg (208KB, 510x624px) Image search: [Google]

208KB, 510x624px

>>38625654
>>38629452
>>38630342
>>38634476
I started this in 5th or 6th grade. Eventually learned to use cold water and bring my phone as a snooze alarm basically. The most comfy thing ever is to bring a fuzzy blanket with you in winter, get naked, and lay on towel with blanket over head next to active heat register. It pushes the blanket up, I call it a heat tent.

>>38633666
You are fallen, son.

>>38658858
I never thought to take a blanket, thanks.

File: 1462418565799.png (817KB, 2560x1440px) Image search: [Google]

817KB, 2560x1440px

>>38625102
At least i am not alone on that

>>38622159
I do that with all parts of my body. Like if i pull a muscle or something in my left thigh I'll actually punch the right one so it evens out.

>>38625678
yeah i do the same, it's mostly automatic, no direct input from my part

>Keeping on living and not hanging myself

Whenever I'm in bed at night, I imagine that I'm sharing my bed with someone else, a woman. I'm careful with my arms, in case I accidentally nudge "her" or something and sometimes I rest my arm on the other side of the bed, like I'm spooning "her". I sometimes get too careful not to hog all the covers in case "she" gets cold and gets angry at me. I know it's all in my imagination though.

File: 1423621874553.jpg (25KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 480x480px

>>38622159
Man I thought I was the only autistic faggot that does this.

>>38637625
>I still haven't even fully mastered addition when it comes to big numbers like 143+234 for example
I'm shit at math but it didn't take me that long to come up with 377.

The real issue I have is with handling money. I work as a cashier and it's automated most of the time, but then there are those few moments where I need to actually calculate shit in my head and I'm fucking terrible at it. It makes me feel so stupid. I'm definitely above average when it comes to English but with math, I'm pretty sure I'm less than average.

>>38628671
I do this too but sometimes i pass out on the floor

>go on 5 minute long rants about fallout 4 if someone mentions they liked it
>look at the ground whilst walking in town and get fixated on plants and stuff
>interrupt conversations with unrelated stuff
>sweat buckets when in new social situations

>>38628671
>>38660117
what if i run hot showers but regularly sit or lie down in the bathtub and just relax

File: image%3A2555.jpg (78KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 1280x720px

>I think that anyone who posts a anime pic is cute no matter what they said in their post

File: Wojak Nip.jpg (33KB, 540x583px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 540x583px

>>38625153
literally me senpai
>he doesn't shit naked and use the tissue as a disposable "cumrag"
>he doesn't sit down in the shower for max comfy