I've been an extra in every friend group I've ever been in
Just a third or even a fourth wheel
It's humiliating
How can I get better at friendships and how do I become a necessary part of a friend group
>>38559488
It never got better so after a year and a half I broke off all contact and became a shut in.
Life's good now anon. You're way more productive without friends.
Realized that my best friend wasn't really my friend, and that I was in fact just the back up plan incase all his other friends fell through.
Broke off contact with him and he never even bothered to respond or get in touch. Feels bad because we were friends for 10 years and talked every day, I thought he was my first true friend.
It doesn't really get better.
Most relationships are formed during the early years of you're life, everything after HS is just acquaintanceship and unless you achieve bromance with some guy due to him being a mirror of you but shit like that happens only in movies
>>38559528
I'm not sure how to respond to this
I don't want to be a shut in
I don't like it
I'm so close to Normie hood, so close to the good life I can almost taste what it's like to be cared about. And right when you let your guard down and dig into the group, then reality hits me and I realize I'm just a play thing for them, that if I run out of funny jokes or stories I wouldn't have a purpose in the group
>>38559586
Pretty much same here
>>38559488
I've long since graduated from Uni and I did an experiment where I stopped talking to everyone until they initiated conversation
Ended up with only 3 friends
>when your friend tells you you're his bff because he thinks your funny
>whenever i tell jokes no one laughs
>thats what he thought was funny
>mfw all i was to my supposed friend was just an entertainment piece to laugh at
I invited what are supposed to be my best friends to go karts and even said I had a coupon when I was just going to pay for them
They said next week a week ago and blew me off and when I asked what was gong on they were going to chili's
I asked if I could come and they said no in a nice way
What did I do wrong?
The worst part is when one of them asked why I was in the car when the driver was just dropping me off at my car
>>38559586
>>38559672
If someone is your best friend and you aren't theirs, there's already a huge problem there...
>>38559876
>all my best friend ever told me to do was to stop talking about myself
>proceeds to talk all about his life and his problems
>not even allowed to talk about work otherwise he gets upset
>realize that I'm the only one that asks him to go anywhere
>realize I'm the only one trying to be a friend
>>38559876
it took 3 people to make me realize this was not a meme
robots aren't made for interaction at all
>>38559488
You need to be wanted. Make yourself likeable.
There's a guy who always wants to hang out with me and be a part of our friend group. It's annoying cause none of us really like him that much but we tolerate him and try not to be mean.
We wrote like a wish thing for our friend group that we'd always be together and he came up and wrote his fucking name on too, what a joker.
My best friend and I are obviously best friends. People even ask if we're dating cause we're super close.
My good friends also think of me as a good friend.
Then there are those people who are acquaintances who I talk with and would gladly hang out with now and then. I'm sure they feel the same way about me (some want to get to know me better).
Friendships have to be of equal standing. If someone wants to move the friendship to a closer level, both people have to be on board.
>>38559488
>joined a small group of friends in high school
>hanged out with them in front of the library everyday during lunch
>went over to their houses and shit
>we even went to the same community college
>then one day one of the friends says that none of them like me
>turns out the friendship was a lie and that I'm not even a third wheel
>I'm the wheel out in the backyard that's old a deflated
>"friend" tells me the truth
>go home and cry
>haven't spoken with any of them for years
I don't know what's worse having "friends" who actually hate you but only one of them had the balls to say it to my face or being a loner...
>>38559924
Yeah, both parties need to make effort. That sounds like a guy I know.
He got upset when I told him he wasn't my best friend even though I thought it was pretty fucking obvious. I still talk to him about his life (mostly about mine though) even though I don't really care about him. He usually texts me first. He's like my backup text when everyone else is busy or sometimes I just feel like remembering old times with him.
Just wish he felt the same way about me. He shouldn't be so invested in me.
>>38559958
You sound like a massive turbonormalfag
just leave this board please
I'm the one thats part of the main friend group but not part of any of the sub groups. They'll invite me to do stuff as one big group, but while there they'll talk about what they did in their little groups. There's a set of friends who'll do this and another set who'll do that. I'm in none of them. I just come together when they all come together. Except this one guy will individually hang out with me every once in a while. Strangely, he's not the reason I fell into that group.
>>38560001
They both hurt.
>>38560024
OP asked for friendship advice, who better to give it than a turbonormalfag?
Is there any hope for a robot if even making friends here is impossible?
>>38560079
Yeah, you're "that guy" that is good to chill with but never really makes an effort to do anything with anyone and isn't worth getting to know better.
Sorry to drop it on you like that. Probably nobody would care if you left the friend group. Try it and see for yourself
>do an experiment to see which of your "friends" want to really get close with you and stick with you by not initiating any conversation, looking forward to growing closer with them
>tfw nobody talks to me, and some even block me on social media.
Fuck them.
>>38560141
>do this with my online friends because no irl friends
>3 months go by
>login
>1 message
>@everyone
Just remember, there's always someone out there for everyone.just kidding, life isn't that nice
>>38559868
> invited them to go karts
Is thus weird for sophomores in college to do?
Was I too forward here?
>>38560079
>Tfw you only have a group dynamic and no duo dynamic relationships
>>38560083
>They both hurt
no post has ever been so true
>>38560193
No, that's normal fun. The problem is that your friends aren't really your friends. Sorry.
>tfw have no friend groups, just individual friends and you can tell sometimes when those friends invite you places, the other friends are annoyed I've come.
Ah well, at least it isn't always like that and some of them tolerate me. And also that these friends actually invite me to places and insist that I come.
I always say yes these days as I've had friends who've just given up trying to invite me as I always used to say no.
But yeah I just have individual friends, no groups.
anyone else like screwing around with peoples emotions to make them attempt to apologize to you and beg for your sympathy?
>girl says joke that could be considered offensive
>I don't care really, but I pretend I'm hurt
>She keeps apologizing and begging for my forgiveness when I ignore here to the point she's crying according to a friend she used as a middleman to contact me
>I enjoy seeing her cry
Am I a horrible person? Does anyone else screw with peoples emotions?
>>38560141
>>38560170
Neither of you are worth talking to or becoming friends with that's why. And probably you never tried becoming friends with any one person.
>>38560193
No, it's not weird and you weren't too forward, they just don't like you. Better to rip this bandaid off now and hurt for a while.
>>38560193
tell your "friends" one last "fuck you" and never speak to them again.
>>38560273
I try to improve myself, but all my attempts just make things worse.
>>38560226
>I always say yes these days as I've had friends who've just given up trying to invite me as I always used to say no.
Why do people say no? Honestly. I'm trying to be your friend and get to know you, three strikes and you're out.
How are you gonna decline my invitations then ask me to hang out two months later when I already have great friends that I would choose over you?
>>38560310
Because when people ask, they're just asking to be nice, not because they actually care.
>>38560287
How do you try to improve yourself?
>>38560273
What the fuck is this 'worth' supposed to be, outsider?
>>38560364
People don't see a friendship with you as fun or fulfilling. Of course, depending on personality, some people might be your best friend while others would avoid you like the plague. If everyone thinks that way about you, though, then the problem is you, not them.
>>38560358
>get new job
>lost 100lb
>learn how to socialize but still awkward
>started working out a little
>reading a lot more
>taking walks every night before bed
>try different tactics on people to see what works and what doesn't
>nothing is good enough or nothing ever works
>always the outcast in any setting i walk into
I can talk to people just fine, but people are all the same. My coworkers don't ever talk to me, I'm always the one that has to say good morning to them. Sometimes they'll just ignore me.
I'm just so tired of people. Everything is so fake and constantly changing, there's nothing I can be sure of anymore. People are two faced cunts and I don't want anything to do with anymore.
>>38560409
why the hell are you here outsider? You don't know shit about what it's like to not be liked. Go fuck your blonde girlfriend or whatever.
>>38560409
I already know this, but when whatever you try doesn't work, that's when you just need to sit back and say that it just wasn't meant to be. Some people are just more likeable than others. Some people are just as hateable.
>>38559488
>friends
obligatory NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORMIE
>>38560310
I used to say no out of panic. They'd invite me to new situations or new places and there'd always be new people. So I'd panic and just say no, and stay in the comfort of my home.
An example of this would be going to a bar. Got invited twice and I said no twice. I'd never been to a bar, wouldn't know what to do, be full of strangers etc. I panicked and I guess I wasn't emotionally ready so I just declined to stay home. But then I'd kick myself for saying no and be left out. So I kind of built myself up instead afterwards.
I said yes to a small house party, then a bigger one, then the bar. Thats what worked.
>>38560310
I always feel like I'm a bother and a waste of everyone's time, so I decline anything that would help me because I hate myself, only to beat myself up over it later. It's a vicious cycle and I can't escape.
>tfw you are the one that introduced everyone in your friend group to eachother and were the main guy in the group but now you keep hearing about them doing stuff together and not inviting you
>>38560277
>>38560273
>>38560225
Are you guys sure?
I've invested 4 years into this friend group, it's all I have
I'm not sure I could just say goodbye like that
>>38559488
just be yourself, you silly
>>38560694
"You know you're a robot when..."
>>38560826
We're sure.
Cut them off. You'll get a harsh dose of reality realizing they were never your friends to the point you'll want to shoot up their houses out of anger. It's happened to all of us.
But don't worry, it's like a rite of passage for robots for this to happen to us.
>>38560826
>I'm not sure I could just say goodbye like that
You're friends sure can, though.
>>38560881
oh shit nigger wat r u doin
>>38560916
I'm just telling it like it is. It's why I have no friends.
You fags try too hard to be "normal" to fit in, that shit doesn't work. it'll only put you at very low level normie position most of the time.
Guys just b yourself
>>38560502
How did you know she was blonde though
dont bother.. the people you think are your friends will eventually jew you as hard as possible. friends are over rated garbage/
I don't want friendship for anything more than having activity buddies for things that can't be done alone e.g. board games. When you're past college age you outgrow the need for social validation.
>>38559876
This is the boat I'm in rn. It fucking hurts but I know I'll die without human contact
>>38559488
>tfw when previously first/second class friend
>all friends hung out at my place
>made plans with me first or invited me everywhere
>became depressed and a shut-in
>now a third/fourth class friend in the very few relationships that i have left
at least i still have strangers online that will take time to call me a faggot occasionally
>>38560694
>When the loser you invited into the friend group tries to push you out of it.
OP here just to say I'm out for the night
I have work at a summer camp where I'm hated
I don't know why I created this thread
It's not like I expected answers to my loneliness, I guess I just wanted to talk about it with you guys
Anyway, goodnight
>>38559876
>tell best friend that she's my best friend
>she tells me she likes me a lit, but sort of avoids using the word best
>sister in law calls me
>"and she asked me to be her maid if honor! And I was like, wow, I barely know you, you weren't in my wedding party. Like, I have so many good girlfriends so what is even wrong with this girl!"
>realise if I ever did somehow get married this would happen to me
>tell "friend" that it hurt my feelings that I was begging for a shoulder to lean on when my sister ruined my brother's wedding
>no replies
>"you're acting like a friendzoned guy, just because you're nice to us doesn't mean friendship tokens are gonna fall out."
>you retard that us exactly what friendship is
The only good advice he gave me was that when you post heavy feels in a grouo chat, a sort of bystander effect occurs where everyone assumes that everyone else will console you so they don't have to bother.
>That one old friend who became a normie and always insists on dragging you along to places and trying to normie you up much to his other normie friends' chagrin
>That one old friend who suddenly rapidly changed and you just drifted apart from them.
>>38561394
Samefag.
>friends mention camping
>sounds fun!
>try to organise trip
>no responses
>try it with other friends
>"anon, I'd really like to but I'm moving that week and my cat will be upset."
>are you fucking kidding me
>none of them go camping
>i go hiking alone
My brother is a turbo normie and he says you gotta make it "easy" for people to hang out with you. "Yeah, nbd, just some people coming over." That way, if people bail you don't embarass yourself and it's easy for people to show up on a whim. Which sounds nice except how the fuck do you broach topics that require planning and effort from people?
>be me
>had a big friend group
>it was all good desu
>one guy gets increasingly cunt like
>another guy does too
>both think because they have girlfriends they're great
>berate and mock the rest of us
>get annoyed
>decide I've had enough of this
>stay at home instead of going out
>they begin to notice
>get message that I'm purposely avoiding them
>I'm not dealing with that crap desu
>Fuck right off mate
>eventually gtfo
>lost I'd say 6 "friends"
Never get normie friends lads.
They're shit and will fuck you over.