If you are the one who chooses how you feel regardless of your circumstances (so you can "choose to be happy", as they say) then what's the point of being nice to people, and what's the point of working hard to accomplish things?
Whether you treat people like shit or are nice to them doesn't matter, because how they feel is their choice, not yours. Therefore courtesy is worthless; you may as well be a dick. Or be courteous; it doesn't matter.
And accomplishing goals doesn't matter either, because whether you fail, succeed, or don't even try, your happiness is just about "choosing to be happy", regardless of how things turn out.
It seems to me that the idea that you choose whether to be happy/sad/angry is a notion that leads to absurd consequences if we entertain it.
Because being genuinely nice makes me feel good.
Ask a psychologist yo.
Personally, it's a lot of work to go to the trouble of pissing people off.
I'd rather just not.
So I don't.
>>38546564
It MAKES you feel good, or you choose to be feel good afterwards?
If being happy was a choice then everyone would pick it
>>38546579
But if the "you are the one who chooses how you feel" line holds true, then it's literally impossible for you to piss anyone off.
You do whatever act, and they are the ones who choose whether to get pissed off about it or not. You're not forcing them to feel one way or another; it's totally on them.
That's why the way I'm seeing it, this "Just choose to be happy, just choose not to be angry, just choose not to be sad" advice is a bunch of bullshit.
>>38546534
kindness is a virtue to me
>>38546534
My emotional state, as you said, is a choice. When my fiance and I broke up, I chose not to wallow in depression. I chose to build a home gym and channel my energy into working out.
That said, some choices are easier than others. When I get to work I can choose to take the elevator or I can choose to walk up the stair 21 floors. That second choice is available, but it wouldn't be easy. Both choices would lead me to the same goal.
It's the same with how I treat people. I can be an asshole to everyone and still be happy. But it takes more work to get to that happy feeling. Conversely, if I'm nice to people it's pretty damned easy to stay chipper.
>>38546679
>My emotional state, as you said, is a choice. When my fiance and I broke up, I chose not to wallow in depression.
Why would anyone "choose" to wallow in depression? Maybe you just weren't all that depressed compared to someone who does wallow.
If we go on the assumption that depression feels bad, why would someone choose a bad feeling, instead of a good one? That doesn't make sense.
>>38546676
But, again, if people choose how they feel, then really the way you act doesn't have a bearing on it. Whether someone chooses to feel good in response to an act of yours, or bad about it, is completely up to you.
If we can choose our feelings, there really is no such thing as kindness.
>>38546643
I get what you're trying to say.
In the end though, I think being happy is arbitrary.
Emotions shift so often that worrying about the choice is akin to worrying about the direction of the wind.
>>38546774
>Whether someone chooses to feel good in response to an act of yours, or bad about it, is completely up to you.
My mistake. I meant to say "completely up to them".