Autism

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Cont
>about to turn when I feel soft hands grab my wrist, I'm diamonds again
>"come in the water with us anon! " goddess 1 beckoned
>goddess 2 is splashing water on my brother
>she pulls me to the sea, much like a siren from the epic of Homer
>shit is prairie doggin from my asshole
>manage to break her grip and sprint
it's too late, boys, this is it
>in head, convince self that if I pretended to sit and watch the sunset they wouldn't notice
>as gracefully as a ufc fighter slamming an opponent I hit the sand, and wiggle my bathing suit so my ass is barely hanging out, pressed against the sand
>pinch a wretched loaf, my god it was big
>loaf is directed towards my feet, sliding down my inner thigh as I push
>raise bum and shake so it frees itself
>family and others amazingly don't notice the unholy abomination I was planting on the beach.
>Pretend to be done and quickly yank shorts up, casually walking off
>think I'm in the clear when goddess 2 yells "UM, DID SOMEONE SHIT IN THE WATER"
please God not now
>family is looking in disgust
>I try to match their level of disbelief, but goddess 1 sees through my lies
>"why would you shit on the beach, anon??"
She is beautiful and a detective, I must have her
>family turns to me
>notice shit stain on thigh
>notice raging preteen boner
>look into dad's eyes and realize that he has disowned me

I still think about killing myself over just that.

Tell me some embarrassing things anons. I need to feel better about this

>>38527733
probably be better if you killed yourself

>15
>visit family friends with mom and sister
>has cute daughter I was friends with as a child
>holy tits batman
>we hit it off and chat about bands
>managing to hide my power level thus far
>mom call for me and anonette from other room
>she has been telling the friends about how I did Tae Kwan do
>they ask me to do my routine
>"yes, now I get to show her how tough and disciplined I have become", I think to myself
>get in the center of the room
>do a low bow to anonette, I must show her the most respect
>flail, punch and kick the air
>forget the rest of the routine
>eventually stop and bow to show I am done
>parents applaud out of pity
>sister's side are in orbit
>anonette won't look at me
>spend rest of visit playing with the animals while sister and anonette avoid me

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>>38527733
This is not even funny. 4/10 OP is a tremendous faggot.

I tried to fuck my cat a couple of times when I was younger

i feel like my entire life is just one big bout of autism

>>38528435
>>38528404
>>38528385
>>38528351
>>38527879
>>38527749
Holy shit
Samefagging THIS hard in an attempt to get replies
This fucking board is going to shit because of people like you

Lol op just got btfo

>>38528488
who fucking cares if I samefag? just because I want to keep my thread alive? i'm sorry that i'm trying to put actual content on this board instead of the 5 million trap/britfeel threads that get posted here everyday. i'm why the board is dying? no fuck off, people like YOU are the reason why this board is dying you stupid fucking autstic cuck

>>38528619
>trying to justify samefaggery
lovely summer we havin

>>38528619
WHAT THE FUCK THAT ISN'T EVEN ME, I'M OP AND I DO NOT SAMEFAG

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>>38528619
>>38528655
both of you attention whores fuck off, I'm the REAL op

>>38528619
Fucking pathetic
Please kys

asjfsaffa

>>38528619
hey samefagger there already a thread up

>>38526662

/derailed/

Gg everyone, see you on the next thread

No one even liked my story :c

>>38528619
>>38528655
...just stop.

You're just making it worse.

>be OP
>love cock
>start an autism thread
>posts bad stories
>replies to self to get people in
>gets called out
>autism thread is a tribute to autism of OP

JUST
USTJ
STJU
TJUS

>>38527733
>obsessed with number 9
>one day jerk off for 29 times
>whenever I'd accidentaly hurt myself I'd do it again 8 more times

>>38528870
>implying that you aren't op trying to cover his ass right now

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>>38528619
what you got against brits having feels anon?

>>38528886
>implying you aren't op trying to look like an astute observer pointing out someone else who may be op

>>38528876
Two number nines a number nine large a number six with extra dip a number seven two number fortyfives one with cheezw and a large soda

>>38528889
Brits are literally subhuman

>>38528938
Thatll be about tree fiddy

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I'M TAKING OVER THIS THREAD NOW

>autistic things you did
Believed in a just and happy world/life

>>38528994
why are you still trying to bump your own thread op? everyone already knows it's you

Idk if this is autistic but I pick my nails in the car and put the flakes in the side of the seat next to the console. I went to clean my can and the guy shows me a mountain of nail pieces in my car,disgusted with me

>>38529015
I just got home dude, but whatever. How do i know YOU arent the samefag? HMMM

>>38527749
>She is beautiful and a detective, I must have her
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

I really can't tell if op is just so gay he has to reply to all of these comments and shit or if people are just accusing other people of being op.

Fuckin sage

>>38529067
There are 12 anons in here. Just look at the bottom of the thread faggot.

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>>38529053
oh shit i've been discovered

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>>38529067
sounds like something op would say to divert the attention from his samefagging being pointed out

>>38529015
>>38528886
>>38528870
>>38528838
>>38528734
>>38528733
>>38528642
>>38528514
>>38528488
Why are you faggots being such assholes to OP? He just wanted to start a thread and read some interesting greentexts. This board was made with OC in mind and you assholes are intentionally trying to stifle it. I don't get it.

Instead of bitching, why not post some stories of your own? Fuckin christ.

>love the smell of cat piss as kid
>would go to cat litter box to take whiffs, it would make me dizzy
>my grandma caught me multiple times
>still love that musty ammonia smell

>>38529142
>>38529150
sure is weird how these replies were posted almost directly after each other, huh?

>>38529142
Samefagging this hard
You are really struggling to get this thread on track huh op

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>>38529142
>still pretending to be OP
nigger op is sitting next to me right now. stop embarrassing yourself

>>38528619
I mean he's right, threads die without samefagging.

That aside what is it with all you retards blowing opportunities due to bodily functions getting the best of you? You're the master, not your sphincter

>>38529275
>justifying samefagging
guys, I think we may have found the actual op of this thread

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>15
>at restaurant with dad
>sitting opposite of eachother
>"hey anon the girl behind you keeps looking over, I think she likes you"
>tell him to be quiet but know that he wont because its my dad
>I was right
>get up and leave
>outside I realize I'm pretty far away from home
>spend 2 hours walking home instead of going back in there
the girl probably heard what he was saying but atleast I didn't have to see the disgusted look on her face

>>38529292
But you won and that's the important thing

You are all such gullible faggots
OP wanted you to reply to his samefsgging because he wanted people to argue with each other about who was the real op
Holy shit you took the b8

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>>38529416
nice to see you're still trying to cover your ass op.

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>in the 4th grade
>playing with some friends at recess and remember that I was wearing swim shorts under my jeans because I was going to go swimming with my brother afterschool
>tell one of my friends
>"Hey I'll give you 5 dollars and buy you some soda if you pull down your pants to reveal you trunks infront of all those people"
>I was a retard and did it
>everyone laughs except that ONE girl
>the kind that always fucking snitches
>get brought into the principals office and he asks if I've been "showing my private parts in public"
>laugh hysterically and he yells at me to shut up
>say I was wearing swimming trunks that go down to my knees and it was a joke
>he asks me to show him
>do it
>still get grounded at home because they have to call regardless

This was really autistic.

What's the difference between being a strange kid and having autism?

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>>38528954
confirmed burger faggot

Just let this thread die it has nothing of substance omg

>>38529822
How's the new Dr Who going britfriend?

>>38529822
How does it feel to have a bunch of refugees living all around you

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>>38529499
>he asks me to show him

I used to catch grasshoppers and pike their heads on pine needles like some kind of fucked up post apocalyptic savage. My parents found out and sent me to therapy

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>>38530000
HOLY QUAD ZEROS BATMAN

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>>38529142
atleast 90% of /r9k/ exists out of normies, what did u except?
just calm down bruh

>>38529886
tv is for normies
>>38529928
I wouldn't know, I live in the comfyside. Not a refugee for atleast 20miles.

Today, I bought a mix tape from an Estonian girl downtown, just because she looked cute.
I am autism personified.

>>38528954
Oi dare ya ta say that to moi face ya cunt. I'll focking smack ya one right in tha mowf.

When I was a kid I used to ask other kids to press their bare asses in my face. Only got 2 takers out of the whole daycare