Psychological Issues #101

>open e-mail account
>see yahoo news
>Chesty

I wasn't a fan of the band at all, but I knew of his past. I has a sad now.

Ah man, the theme fits perfectly. I feel extremely relaxed and tired now. It is because I raged a lot a couple hours ago, but still.

How long did Coats pepe mastery last yesterday?

>>38501249

It lasted until the end. Coats is awesome.

What happened with your rage?

>>38501290
Yeah despite his peculiarities he is pretty cool.

As for the rage, not much happened. I just raged and raged and raged. And now I'm just tired and my head/face hurts.

Been on memrise for a while know. I was actually thinking about asking some of the others ITT if they'd like to learn some language together. It gives you motivation when you seem some other people who didn't just stop doing it. And seeing as many people ITT don't have much to do and could use a project. What do you say, guys?

>>38501454
>I just raged and raged and raged.

Explain what that means, in detail.

Projects are good ideas, go for it.

Helloo

Feeling confused and am also sick and very hot. Could use some help organizing my thoughts and also assurance that you're gonna be here for a while.
Also I lurked on the special 100 thread for a while but was feeling way too ill yesterday to post. Anyway, congrats about that!

>>38501556
Don't know what to tell you. I watched this video

https://youtu.be/tbBcxOcoZ_4

From there on it was a wild ride. The typical shit.

>>38501653

Dan, tell me what you DID.

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>>38501577
Ayy posted too quickly. Missed the not on dutey part

Here's one of my favorite Pepe's in honor of the 100th

>>38501659
The normal stuff.

Some screaming, some punching myself in the face, hating everyone, hating myself for being inferior. Did this for about 90 minutes and then I was just so tired. I just don't care about anything right now. Just waiting until it's late enough to go to sleep pretty much.

I guess you expected me finding some good activity that calms me down, but it's not that simple.

>>38501653

Dan, if you take those shows seriously, just consider that it's most likely scripted crap and that people who participate to this aren't there in earnest. It's easier than hiring actors, and cheaper, and people are into reality TV, but I doubt there's much real about it.

People like watching cruelty and harsh stuff, but it feels fake to me, as opposed to some other shows MTV had, like Made, and that other one where a best friend revealed he/she had feelings. It's a completely different feel from Dismissed or whatever it's called.

Don't take it seriously.

In other news, I think I fucked myself for a semester already. I was told the deadline was August, but it says December, meaning I'm already a semester behind.

>depression.jpg

>>38501725
Well yeah the show might be fake, but height is quite important in real life.

About the deadline, it sucks but now you have more time to learn on your own.

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Hey guys, fucking sad right now...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd9OhYroLN0

Fuck I hope it's not true

>>38501663

I'm available for chess.

I joined that lichess thing. It looks cool and has sweet exercises.

Hey nick, still thinking about my sexual "inability". I really dont know when it started. Maybe something is repressed to much that i'd rather call myself asexual than acknowledge my desire towards those things.

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>>38501712

I expected what you listed, but there's probably more you're not telling me.

My mood is shot. The semester begins in August, but the deadline is already past, it seems. I will only be able to start in December. The deadline is the 15th, so no hurry.

>lost 6 months

For some reason, this has brought me down.

I will try not to bring you guys down. Just play chess with me and I will be quiet.

>>38501148
Hey Nick. Had severe migraines, felt sick, and my legs felt like they were going to break like twigs when sitting in my chair. Been trying to fight off these feelings. Think it had something to due with the Kraft Mac & Cheese I was so happy to finally eat.

It wasn't worth it. It was a bowl of water with pasta. How do other people get the cheese on the Mac & Cheese? Mine was cheesy water with pasta in the water. Somehow I messed up microwavable Kraft Mac & Cheese, yet I am supposed to be able to cook.

Going home in an hour in a half, then guitar. Lately I have just been putting along, not really knowing what I am doing. I have a problem where I forget all I learned immediately afterwards.

>>38501826
No no no. He's not on patrol tonight friend. Sorry. Just relax and bee yourself and it will be ok

>>38501874
>He's not on patrol tonight friend
Oh, then i'll leave.

>>38501249
For quite a bit, but I calmed down near the end due to having to bounce around from place to place.

>>38501290
Thanks Nick.

>>38501454
And thanks as well. Interesting, I get mentioned here even when not around.

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>>38501148
Trying again, wrong name:
Agree on today being a relaxing day. This was my actual first day off since April. Have a demo later so have some of that back-of-the-mind stress, but still have an hour or so before I have to drive. When I'm on stage, I certainly draws the crowd's attention. Pic completly related

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>>38501807
Lets be sad together.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LvetJ9U_tVY

>>38501797
>Well yeah the show might be fake, but height is quite important in real life.

Yeah, sure, whatever you want. In real life, I see plenty of guys whose women are taller than they are.

But yeah, let's trust MTV.

LO is telling me about something in London. I could study from afar, in English, and I'd have to travel for exams. Will look it up.

>>38501807

It's true. See my OP.

>>38501845
>I expected what you listed, but there's probably more you're not telling me.
Well I argued with some people here. People recognized me even without my tripcode...

No need to be brought down by this. You can study on your own.

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>>38501454
Bad experiences in Spanish class, got straight As besides this one class, which I did perfectly for two years and then the third year faltered after coming back from my suspension. Since then I avoid language learning.

Don't have much more to post, but don't think I have shared many of my interests. Been listening to Prison of Desire, the first album from After Forever, a lot recently. Probably one of the best albums out there, interestingly enough also released on my birthday.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_4V462wDOo

>>38501826

You are sexual, but have intimacy issues. It's different. Don't think you're asexual. We need to find out what the issue really is.

>>38501860
>Somehow I messed up microwavable Kraft Mac & Cheese, yet I am supposed to be able to cook.

Did the cheese turn into water?

Are these guitar lessons?

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>>38501928
>vermillion

Why are you making me cry m8

>>38501892

At least let me answer that!

I'm here and I responded. Just not at the same efficiency as usual.

>>38502010
I dunno if you want to talk further about it right here or tomorrow. It's kind of a chill day for you.

>>38502010
I usually say I am asexual in reality when people ask. Easier to say I have no interest in all the stuff normies do than say I instead have desires that would make them afraid of me.

>>38502031
Indeed it did Nick. That was the problem.

Guitar lessons. Once a week.

Hey everyone. I'm between amused by the arrogance of university professors and disappointed in myself to have "failed" half exam. The part i liked. On the most stupid argument. Probably going to start drawing again and take a pause for a week from everything.

>>38502049
>I dunno if you want to talk further about it right here or tomorrow. It's kind of a chill day for you.

I know exactly what you're doing with this, please don't.

It's not a chill day because I'm massively depressed now. No fun can be had.

If you're the only one who needs my attention, we will be just fine.

Was there much contact between you and your parents? Physical contact.

>>38502070
>I usually say I am asexual in reality when people ask. Easier to say I have no interest in all the stuff normies do than say I instead have desires that would make them afraid of me.

That way, your reputation spreads and any woman who is sexual will instantly bar you off her potential plans, because a sexual woman needs a sexual man.

Not a smart idea.

As to mac and cheese, did you heat it too much for too long?

Bonus knowledge: microwave is shit. I never use mine anymore now.

Do you enjoy playing guitar?

>>38502106
>Physical contact.
Sometimes from mom and rarely from father. I rarely seen them "conducting" physical expression of love.
I'm not trying guilt-tripping

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>homeschooled till 6th grade, lacking in social skills
>move around a lot as a kid
>dont have many old friends
>go to college very far away for some reason
>isolate myself and start getting really depressed and lonely
>feel like I cant make human connection anymore
>think about killing myself almost everyday, no one actually cares about me
>finally start dating a girl from home this summer but I know im being way too clingy and feel so lonely without her
>have to go back to school and im worried that a long distance relationship just wont work

>>38502033
Care to share what's got you down today? Not sure if I'll be much help, as two people on the ground can't lift each other on their feet. But I'll at least be on duty and listen

>>38502186

Sometimes from mom, like what?

Medman, are you going to chess me?

>>38502240

Chester Bennington committed suicide. He has an abusive past and I don't know if he tried therapy, but I guess he didn't.

He struggled with addictions.

>dude commits suicide the day I want to register
>missed deadline

>>38502246
>Sometimes from mom, like what?
Hugs.

>>38502246
>>38502246
Sorry for the passive aggressive behavior. What where you trying to register for?
Yeah some chess would do me good. On mobile again. Anyway you could make it work?

>>38502129
>Sexual woman needs a sexual man
Well, it wouldn't work in that case unless she was twisted enough to have some extreme fetishes. I can't get turned on by the conventional. I rather stay a virgin than be with a girl offering missionary or some other traditional position only in the comfort of our bedroom.

>Mac and cheese
Followed what the instructions said. 3 1/2 minutes. Perhaps a few seconds more as I clicked the wrong button trying to figure out if 10 was a high power level.

>Microwave is shit
Indeed it is, one reason I wouldn't bother with one even if I had access to it. Just not worth it for the soggy, miserable food. I felt more sick eating that than months worth of fast food.

>Enjoy playing guitar
The hobby itself? I enjoy. But the NEETs always want me to be quiet because their babies are sleeping, so the only time I can play is during lessons. My guitar teacher is good, but has some flaws, and one of them is that he will often be playing to the point I can't really hear myself play. He also will usually think it is my inability to play something due to not hitting the right keys as opposed to muting something too much or some other subtle issue. But he teaches me to play music I enjoy, usually Metallica songs. The biggest limitation is that it needs to have a tutorial on Youtube, otherwise it is too much noise for him to understand, as he is more classic rock oriented.

There are potentially times that everyone is awake. But that is always the time my father will be coming over. He of course blames me, saying I should just play, when he would snap if I didn't answer the phone because he pays for it.

It doesn't help anyway that I like to make music, but get interrupted in the middle of what I am doing so that it is often a waste of time. Maybe it is OCD, but if I stop something I cannot easily pick up in the same place, I want to do something different. So I get a bunch of incomplete songs as opposed to actual fully functional songs.

>>38502240
Sad when I wouldn't mind helping, but am probably the least qualified based on the disaster of my first thread. I am a psychopath and say the wrong things. Plus I get easily overwhelmed. Neither of these qualities makes me that useful to anyone.

>>38502371
>What where you trying to register for?

Psychology degree.

>Anyway you could make it work?

Maybe, maybe.

>>38501712
Yeah fucking feel you brother. I'm having a rapid increase in self hatred and I'm taking it out on my family members (I have no friends anymore) or myself and I can't even watch a show or play vidya. Going to bed sooner than usually can't stand being awake.

>>38502403
>Well, it wouldn't work in that case unless she was twisted enough to have some extreme fetishes.

You'd be surprised.

> I rather stay a virgin than be with a girl offering missionary or some other traditional position only in the comfort of our bedroom.

How extreme is your lust?

>Followed what the instructions said. 3 1/2 minutes. Perhaps a few seconds more as I clicked the wrong button trying to figure out if 10 was a high power level.

Use the smallest intensity just to see how it goes. Size matters witi microwaves. If it's small, it'll cook faster.

>>38502403
>he would snap if I didn't answer the phone because he pays for it.

We've discussed this ad nauseam. I can't do it tonight.

>>38502452
Don't worry, considering your childhood it's completely understandable. Im curious as to how you label yourself a psychopath and also claim to not mind helping. Sounds contradictory to me. Or am I looking too much into it

>>38502288
Sadly i dont remember anything related with girls from childhood or the time i attended kindergarten.

>>38502456
Excuse my ignorance but I can't quite connect the dots here. How do the two event interfere?
Did his death heavily upset you?

>>38502582

No. It just looks like a bad omen.

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>>38502240
Today has been all kinds of fucked up, I went to the city I spent quite a lot of my childhood in.
Went to get my eyes checked, the doctor is from my family so I went with my parents for a little trip.
I havent had my eyes checked in years
When we got to her she didnt even recognize me. From what I understand she was already supposed to be in retirement but wanted to stay for a bit longer in the hospital.

Ofcourse the talk about health began, how half of my family is getting old and having serious problems and I started realizing how old I got from the times I used to go there in summer

And to make it worse this fucking happened
>>38502281
The day i think about how old I am how my childhood just slipped away, one of my biggest childhood idols commits suicide.

is this fucking real

>>38502603

I was very affected by Robin Williams, in 2014. I really grew up with him.

When all your people die one after the other.

Since this is an off duty thread and I don't enjoy chess, I'm going to throw down a few tiles' worth of riichi mahjong information for beginners.

A written guide to the game:
http://reachmahjong.com/en/how-to-play-riichi-mahjong/

Basic strategy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcwmRszThBI

A flash version of the game that very handily has all of the rules at the bottom for you to browse at your leisure:
http://www.gamedesign.jp/flash/mahjong/mahjong_e.html

Historical mahjong anime set in post-WW2 depressed Japan. In terms of the game itself, it mostly teaches legerdemain and dishonest tactics:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLAunPDTeYA&list=PLmXt-aXJ7gdpEAtaEY4WIR9LzvjhUp_rZ

A three minute excerpt from the tragically unavailable 'Legend of Koizumi' - a mahjong anime about the president of Japan playing high stakes games against Chairman Mao and featuring Putin and Bush Jr. and Sr. among others:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLq7u2dyA3k

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>>38502501
>You'd be surprised
My fetishes aren't normal. Not even by /r9k/ standards.

>How extreme is your lust?
Enough that I would prefer it than not, but where I could only do it on the basis that I do not have to compromise. It isn't worth too much for me, it is like an extra benefit, but it is a nice luxury. Like riding in a limo, not really needed, but definitely makes you feel better.

>If it's small, it'll cook faster
I just followed the directions on the package. The package lied to me. I don't get why I needed to fill the bowl with water anyway, I didn't think Mac&Cheese was more water than pasta.

>>38502531
I know Nick, I know. Today is your rest day. Not trying to make it anything more, I just ramble.

>>38502545
It is contradictory, but Nick has said repeatedly that I need to accept I lack empathy and am a psychopath. For some strange reason, I want to help the other anons, I feel bad that they are in horrible situations. I just am bound to make it worse. You guys are part of a community I enjoy being with, so I don't like hearing you all are upset and would like to offer the best help I can. I like being beneficial to others, I just am terrible at doing such. You can't give people online many gifts, especially when afraid of my father finding out they exist. Yet I love giving gifts, to see others happy. It validates myself, gives myself meaning. I just am so terrible at it I am better off not trying.

>>38502711

I will admit that this made me laugh. Showing LO.

>>38502722
I am glad you have these threads to share with her.

>>38502722
>Showing LO
Wait what? What did I miss here?

>>38502603
Hey Atlas! I don't think it was that you grew up, it was that you grew out! Ba-boom!

>>38502711
>I need to accept I lack empathy and am a psychopath.

From what I can tell now, it may not be exactly that. Your understand of life is so warped that it may not be the same problem as for a psychopath. For instance, you have no problem knowing how your father will feel about anything.

So don't think of yourself as a psychopath. You're a seriously out of touch person but through no fault of your own.

>>38502772

I don't share the thread, just the pics you make.

>>38502800

We're in touch on a daily basis. This isn't new.

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>>38502893
>Don't think of yourself as a psychopath
Interesting. Especially since it would line up with ENTPs.

I have no idea if I have emotion or not. I like to think I do, but I am entirely confused.

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>>38502840
Hey, youre probably right, I used to be super skinny when I was a kid
Actually I got quite fat with my depression, before that I was thin
My ex-girlfriend used to tell me that I looked like a concentration camp survivor
Come to think of it she had pretty dark humor

>>38502893
>Your understand

Your understanding. I hate this keyboard so much.

>>38502923
Well, regardless, I am glad you enjoy the pictures. As I said, I enjoy making crudely drawn art, though it usually is hard to when we are talking about psychological issues.

>>38502947
>I have no idea if I have emotion or not. I like to think I do, but I am entirely confused.

I've never met a psychopath with OCD.

CALLING META

META, ARE YOU HERE???

>>38502955
I use a simple Logitech K120 at work, seems to suit my general purposes. Of course, at home I love to go with a Corsair K95 Vengeance.

Upsetting that most keyboards are going the way of fewer macros. I like having them on hand. I tend to like "potential" capabilities so that I am not limited by what I do on my computer. Well, beyond my OCD of course.

>>38502954
Dark humour is often the best anyway. Have a pipe at this, it might cheer you up. One of my favourites.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RM8EVIbNxk4

>>38503047

I have a Das Keyboard with custom keys, because the layout in Switzerland is:

qwertz

Unique.

>>38502923
You're right, I'd just forgotten. my bad

I can go on my laptop if you still want to play nick

>>38503055

Good thing he switched than Yank accent. Where is he from?

>>38502975
>Never met a psychopath with OCD
While I can debate if I am a psychopath or not, I feel a lot more confident about OCD.

My favorite game is Thief, a game where I collect things. I can even make myself miserable in my favorite game due to getting obsessed over finding some hidden object. I am terrible at finding things in games and yet have OCD to find them. Yet have learned to also be paranoid that the level is broken, yet at the same time feel horrible if I use any outside help to figure out the answer.

Needless to say, it is often safer to do what I know anyway because otherwise I will run into this vicious cycle.

>>38503125
Glasgow. That's in Scotland. Basically the rough part, and Edinburgh is the posh twat part. It's also where I got my tattoo underage. So that's Glasgow.

>>38503076

You haven't forgotten, Hero. I don't usually mention much about LO. You couldn't have known, don't assume you're at fault. You did nothing wrong.

>>38503064
Not bad at all, it seems to work well enough. Cherry Keys I see, either blue or brown. I personally like extremely sensitive keys, so I love reds. I must say I have never really tried the other keys, but they don't sound as ideal due to requiring more force. I wish the Platinum was as good as the Vengeance (6 macros, coming from 54 that feels like a joke), I am curious how good Silent cherry keys are.

>>38503142
>My favorite game is Thief, a game where I collect things.
jfc, this
even in ARPGs where it's physically impossible to collect everything, I try to reveal 101% of the map including all the easter eggs and secret locations
it's just no fun curbstomping bosses when you are overleveled from all the digging you do on your way there

>>38503142

Video games make for OCD hell. I hope you continue the video thing, Coats.

>>38503187

Glasgow... I know all about Glasgow! I had a teacher from there and I've read Lanark, mind you.

>>38503242

I have blues, I think. Clickety ones, for writers. In retrospect, I'd get the same keys but minus the clickety sounds. I'd keep the bump but that's about it.

>>38503259
Was he actually from Glasgow or were you just taught by a junkie you couldn't understand so you made the natural assumption?

>>38503250
This is pretty much me in every single game. FPS titles I will collect ammo and use the weaker guns "to save the powerful stuff for the end boss" to the point I easily overpower everything. RPGs I tend to collect every item I find and sell it, I love selling things, to the point I usually break the bank at some point. Elder Scrolls Arena I was able to just spam potions near the end due to having so much gold. Daggerfall you couldn't do too much with gold after a certain point, but I did get a house and a boat just to get them.

Plus my biggest gripe with Doom and earlier FPS titles is that they expect you to spam every wall to find Secrets. This triggers me as I will need to spam every wall and probably will miss the wall I need to spam, resulting in literal hours of me getting stressed trying to find a Secret. All the more devastating when I Noclip and find out the Secret didn't even work and was literally impossible to get. Makes me want to give up sooner. Then I give up sooner and hate myself because it turned out to be fine and I just missed something. I can't win, either way I get stressed.

>>38503353

Ha! She was the purest Scottish woman I've ever known.

I miss her.

>>38503105
>>38503376
Beepbobbeep

>>38503055
At first I thought hes speaking some dead language
But it turned out good, I love dark humour

Also made me remeber my favourite comedian
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo9pU1q8sy8

>>38503374

Ubisoft cure my slight OCD. Far Cry 3 had too many diamonds and Assassin's Creed 2 also had too many treasures. After ten hours of doing nothing but collecting that shit, I gave up.

>>38503250
>Revealing the map
Actually I have that problem too. Luckily it only happens if the minimap is visible on the screen, like in Morrowind, which is luckily too recent for me to play. One miserable memory of that game was that every time I restarted to "play the game the right way", I would have to map out the entire city of Vivec, which was a pain to walk around in and talk to everyone for the potentiality of new information (even if I talked to them all before). Maybe it is good I don't play more recent games, it seems it makes my OCD even worse.

>>38503259
I thought the main point was just seeing I needed to confront it and get anxious. Maybe I should watch more of the series.

>>38503307
Indeed, blues sound like a good overall balance. Reds are known for being ridiculously sensitive, some people can find it too much of a pain if they are prone to hit the wrong key. Perhaps it is due to years of training on computers, but while I can hit the wrong keys, I generally have some sort of control, especially once in a rhythm.

My main flaw is typing. I only can do 70 WPM when going at top speeds, usually it is more like 50-60. Ironically a lot of people in school thought it was fast, maybe because I only use my index fingers and never learned "proper typing methods".

>>38503449
It's bizarre to me that some people can't understand the accent, but there again it's quite impenetrable if you're not used to it. I dated a woman from there about a decade ago. Will give your guy a look.

>>38503376
Fair enough then. It's nice that you have such fond memories of people.

>>38502596
That's because you should never be a certified psychologist, so give it up already and stop making these threads

>>38503449
Ah yeah, I know Bo Burnham. I find him a touch hit and miss but there we are, different strokes.

>>38503374

You should play in a room with me. When the OCD attacks, I physically tackle your ass outta there.

>>38503469
I probably would break down from the game, going crazy looking for those last few diamonds and treasures. Not being fan-made, I would give it more chance and not look it up. The most I have done consecutively is 5, but I often will just continue each day until I get it, ranting the entire time.

I don't handle the hunt for hidden objects well. I panic and start getting mad at the game for making it into a hidden item hunt. My OCD means I can't ignore it, yet I appreciate the complexity that something is hidden. A conflicted mess.

Guitar lessons, see you soon.

>>38503413

Get thee on lichess.org!

>>38503514
>Fair enough then. It's nice that you have such fond memories of people.

I wanted to put my penis in her haggis.

Just kidding. I really liked her.

>>38503548

Have fun.

Y'all should get a lichess.org account. Some other anon from the thread is there, it's pretty cool.

>>38503514
Yeah well my english might be on a level where i understand people talking with me in person but not crazy scottish people. I managed to catch maybe two words from the start

>>38503532
Ive watched the whole "what." multiple times already and I never got bored
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejc5zic4q2A
I love this guy so much, hes like that little tragic character from some book, he makes amazing jokes but he also gets quite deep sometimes and I nejoy that in comedy the most
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQTZVnDE2Qw&t=1s stuff like this

>>38503699
what. was a very good show, his other material less so

I'm Nick1982 on lichess.org.

Not shilling.

Just... join...

OPandhisthread.jpg

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>feel like I'm slowly becoming more paranoid, most likely from being anxious all the time

What do I do about this?

I feel like anxiety is impacting my intelligence too.

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Can only feel comfy after smoking weed, i guess this is how to be addicted to something, makes you feel good and you dont want to stop

>>38504251
I literally started like 2 months ago to smoke weed and it helped with my anxiety, just dont smoke before you want to do something that involves thinking, you will feel even more stupid because you cant focus

>>38504251

Give me examples.

>>38504270

Find another feelgood experience. Some cool vidya or meditation.

>>38504329
>be in restaurant
>waiter takes my cup off the table and refills my water without me asking twice
>immediately start thinking it's poison or something before dismissing the thought

>feel like anything my parents give me could also be poison before dismissing the thought and enjoying it


This, alongside what I feel like is me having a harder-than-usual time at comprehension and decision making, is what spurred me to make this post. I don't do drugs or smoke as of now, if that's worth anything.

>>38504480

See if this persists when you feel better.

Trying to learn a second character on Tekken. It's alright. It's an odd experience since all the familiar button combinations mean something different, or sometimes nothing at all where things that were previously meaningless are now key. Pretentious though it sounds, it feels like language.

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>>38504329
I already "meditate" in the shower, by that i mean i try to think of stuff to keep me at peace. Weed helps me when i leave my bubble and it actually makes me genuinelly laugh at stuff instead of pretending
Nothing else makes me happy

I realized last night that my severe anxiety is probably partially linked to depression caused by this need for everyone around me to be happy.

Like thinking about things that I had no part of that made my parents sad makes me incredibly anxious and upset. It has cost me sleep a lot the past few months. I need to figure out a way to train myself not to care as much about other people's emotions. Sure life is hard as fuck for my parents (My sister is really struggling at life in general, both my mom's brothers are dying) but at the end of the day I need to stop sacrificing my happiness for them. They have made it through worse.

I took two days off work because on Tuesday I was so broken down I wanted to literally cry during work for no reason at all. I have been struggling hard to concentrate the past week (I have a desk job that I HATE but am stuck in), and suddenly I found myself holding back tears with no provocation. The worst part is I can't help feeling incredibly guilty for taking time off as my team needs me. Work isn't allowing paid personal days (It's a long story, the company isn't in financial danger and my job is safe, but we are restructuring and they had to put a hold on ANY PTO).

Another issue is that I have too much fucking debt. My parents convinced me to go to college and I have student loans. I needed a good car for a long commute so I have a car payment, now medical bills, and rent. Furthermore in the span of a month I had to have $2000 of work on my card and had to be hospitalized for a week after having a severe allergic reaction to medicine and now I have about $1500 in credit card debt. My family didn't teach me shit about managing my finances, and made it seem like all this was normal. Not until after college did I learn having this much debt isn't just a "part of life". I can easily pay my bills (Take home about 565 a week, I pay $1300 all together for my bills). It's just I feel gross having credit card debt.

>>38504856
I just needed to type all this shit out. I should probably see a therapist or something, but I cant get the energy too.

After work I just crash and play video games and eat shitty food till bed. I have self medicated with food for so long it's not even funny and I am a fat fuck because of it.

I donno thanks for listening if you bothered I guess. Just typing this out made me feel a bit better

>>38504856
>>38504890
Oh and best of all I am INFP (Or else the 4 different personality tests I took over the course of my life were all wrong)

Do any of you guys play vidya much? I know coats does. I recently got portal and half life for $2 so I've been doing that, usually dota though

>>38504856

Consider whether you value yourself through what people think of you.

I'm doing short work tonight.

>>38504890

I did read. Keep typing things out if you feel like it. There are countless lurkers who enjoy the thread just to read people's problems.

And secretly wait for me to get angry and entertaining.

>>38504997

I'm INFJ but my P is like 1 point away from a P.

>>38505006

I used to, until my computer died.

Need a new one.

>>38505259
S A D B O Y S I want someone to play games with I only have 3 friends and they sometimes will but not that often. I have 50+ people on steam but all of them are people I added from dota games and they ignore me

>>38505351

I'll add everyone once I get a new computer.

I dream of having a TF2 server filled with mentally ill motherfuckers. And play all night long like it's late 2007.

Good afternoon everyone.
>>38505006
>Do any of you guys play vidya much?
desu I vidya all the time.
>>38505351
I generally don't add people from 4chan though. I can't trust anons with my usernames.

>>38505006
Playing Tekken as we speak. I play video games most of the day every day tbqhwy

>>38505438
Nice actually tf2 was in the package during the sale with the other 2. Sounds good to me too I hope you get a new comp soon

I'd tell you what I'm doing but it could backfire, so I ain't sayin nun or nothing until I'm done.

>>38506059
Hmmmm. Curiouser and curiouser.

>>38506510

Not that much. I'm watching a movie. I don't want to get spoiled. That's all.

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I'm back. Demo went well, but a certain someone showed up so I swung my damn sword way too damn hard and busted my hands. Any tips for anger management, when the person responsible for throwing you into a rage shows up?

>>38506746

Analyse your anger, see if it does anything to feel it. Something like that.

Dat manly hand.

>>38506746
Not needed, friend. It will toughen up your hands.

>>38505259
If you come to japan i'll bring you to a video game bar..al you can play old school nintendo

How do I stop hating people? Every day I go on facebook and look at all those people and it makes me mad and full of hate

>>38506984
Stop going on facebook go climb a mountain

You'll realise that people who spend more time taking nice looking photos, are just spending less time enjoying the actual moment

>>38506970

That sounds cool.

Oddly, one of the last times I was at my parents', they had bought that mini NES thing for Christmas. I got to replay games I had once played as a child. Weird.

>>38506984

Learn that the only competition you have in life is yourself. You're not racing with anyone else. It's just you, what you do and what you don't do.

You can forget everyone else when it comes to accomplishment, because nothing they do matters compared to what you do or don't do.

Go be awesome now.

>>38501148
Peaceful cuisine is a fun youtube channel. The owner ryoya makes some really comfy and relaxed videos about cooking, fixing his bike, DIY and shit. I really enjoy watching his videos
https://www.youtube.com/user/ryoya1983
https://www.youtube.com/user/peacefulcuisine2nd

>>38507045
Didn't read whole thread but i think you're down because you missed the deadline to register for school?

>>38506864
>Analyse your anger, see if it does anything to feel it. Something like that.
Well I guess anger is the wrong word choice. I have to avoid looking at her to keep from doing/saying something stupid. Her presence is enough to almost send me into a murderous rage.
>Dat manly hand.
Thank you? Not sure if sarcasm.
>>38506866
My hands are tough enough. I can usually swing the sword for 1-2 hours without a mark. But when I'm raging, I go way too hard because I can't feel anything but anger.

>>38507210
So you're a kendoka I take it?

>>38507176

Yes.

It was my happy project, doorway to a new life, and now I put a dick in it.

Realistically, it's only six months in delay and it's not like I'll have nothing to do. It just annoys me.

Mood went down and I'm upset. Depressed and alone.

>>38507210
>Thank you? Not sure if sarcasm.

I'm dead serious. I always comment on your manly hands. If you saw mine, you'd understand I'm not sarcastic at all. I have womanly hands. You have some serious grabbers on you. It's cool.

>>38507247

You're the real weeaboo in this thread.

I like it.

How come you like Japan so much?

>>38507288
Don't know how I missed this. No wonder you're off duty. Shitty luck. How is the film?

>>38507288
what was it thatyou wanted to register for?

>>38507288
I missed my university deadline and had to wait a year. spent that year doing odd jobs like bussing and retail because nobody cares about art where i was from and i literally had 0 chance.

Towards the end of ny time in university i realised i could self-apply for exchange programs abroad and not be in shithole shitapore. the deadline for every program was.....over :"D
"Next year" i wouldn't even be a student anymore so I can't apply.

I still ended up okay

>>38507316
I find aspects of the culture fascinating and I like their media. I wouldn't consider myself a weeaboo but maybe I am. If nothing else, they have a sense of identity and pride that they strive to preserve.

>>38507247
Not quite, different path. But I am a martial artist, yes.
>>38507300
Well thank you.

>>38507317

I found out after I opened the thread. Next deadline to register is in December. At least I won't miss that one.

>>38507318

I wanted to study for a psychology degree, a university program for people who can't study full time, like people with jobs, sports people, or artists. You work at home, there are online courses and things like that. The degree is worth the same as the regular one.

god damn my life makes no fucking sense, it's all a sad joke

I've watched the butterfly effect yesterday and I cried when he was with the blonde girl at uni because I envied him so much

>>38507394
>like people with jobs, sports people, or artists. You work at home, there are online courses and things like that.
What do they have other than psychology?

>>38507362

I agree with that. I need to read more about the discovery of Japan. They were discovered by great people too, the Portuguese. I love Portuguese people. All the ones I have ever met, and there are tons here, are awesome.

>>38507422

A lot. All the main ones.

>>38507441
Email me a link?

>>38507434
There was a film out not too long ago that might well be to your taste: Silence (2016). About missionaries travelling to Japan in order to convert the heathens to Kirishitan-do. The Catholics and Portuguese were all over that.

>>38507481

Why?

I took 32 seconds for that.

It's nothing special, just the usual subjects you can study at a university.

>>38507666
Cus i might wanna look idk

>>38507718

It's all in French.

How do you guys find the thread? By the picture or do you use ctrl f ?

I hesitate to use different images in case you guys go by the pic.

>>38508046
For me, it's CTRL+F

>>38508046
I go by pic, but I'm rarely here. I usually pull it up during work and lurk best I can, unless I'm running the /qst/.

FUCK SHE'S HERE! She followed us here to where we play cards. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck.

Nighty.

>>38508187

That's the way.

>>38508046
If I'm not really feeling like complaining about something I'll see the pic and drop in. If I'm actively trying to find the thread to seek help I'll ctrl-f.

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Buenos noches everybody.