Tell us a secret.

>>38461633
I roleplay as Love Live characters when I am bored.

>>38461633
nah, just cause its an anon board doesn't mean i go around telling my darkest secrets lol.

I believe my shitposting on /r9k/ is changing the world for the better.

>>38461633
I sometimes wish I was never born

>>38461855
>What makes you say that? I bet you are a good person

>>38461901
I don't know man, I'm trying my best to stay sane but deep down I wish for a Swift end

I feel indifferent toward everything alot

>>38461633
I think I'm lesbian or bi

The only person I've ever hated is myself.

>>38462035
Have you tried having sex with another woman?

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>>38461834
As long as your shitposts are fighting normies and roasties, you are. Keep up the good work anon.

>>38461689
then don't reply???

>>38461633
here is my secret.
my mom and dad married virgins. she at age 29 he at age 38.
I dont see being a virgin a probleme.
I dont need a gf.
I need money instead. a way to make money.
I am Algerian. and very little you know about Algeria.

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>>38461664
Uh, how and where and why?

>>38461633
I once curbstomped a rabbit as a young man. I was headed down to a marina when I was about 14 to go on a boat and there was this young, possibly hurt or dehydrated rabbit dragging itself along a barely developed road in a housing tract.

It was definitely still alive and not mangled or anything. Maybe a hawk dropped it or it was diseased or just starving.

Whatever the case, I picked up that little faggot and curbstomped it before going on with my day like nothing ever happened. Never done anything like it before or since.

>mfw I try to figure out why I did that once in a while

>be about 9-10 years old
>little cousin is sleeping in bed (he's at my house)
>think it'd be funny to fart on his head
>pull down my pants and lower my ass over his face where my anus is almost touching his nose
>fart
>realize it isn't a fart
>liquid shit pours out of my ass onto his face
>he woke up, snorting my shit up his nose
>he vomits EVERYWHERE
>I flee the scene like some scat version of The Phantom of the Opera
>he runs downstairs crying and gagging
>hear mom scream
>hide under bed
>still shitting myself under the bed in small quirts
>mom found me

When I was around the age of 10 I had to give a urine sample at the doctor's and got a little cup for it, but I didn't have to pee so the nurse told me to take it home and just drop it off here whenever I wanted. So in the evening I filled the cup and forgot about it for a couple of days. When I brought in the questionable and smelly sample, the nurse had to explain to me that it had to be a fresh sample. Back then it didn't bother me much, but now the confused and just so slightly disgusted face of that nurse haunts me.

>>38461633
>be me
>highschool age hanging out with spergy highschool friends at a sleepover/LAN party
>we all decide we should try doing drugs since the hosts parents will be gone for the weekend
>we buy some xanax and a pound of weed from some mexican guy at our school
>have a good time for a bit playing WoW and CSS
>eventually we start smoking
>our first experience with drugs
>start being rowdy retards
>we pop xanax and order pizza
>at this point things fall apart
>we start grunting like cavemen and wrestling/rough housing with eachother
>start shittily playing our band instruments
>we play a half baked version of gurren lagen OP with my trumpet, a flute, ukelele, trombone, and a violin
>pizza comes and i open the door
>he peers in at the mess of a living room we have
>smiles at me and says to have fun
>hurrr ok hahaha
>eventually around 1am everyone starts to tucker out
>i turn off the anime blarring on the tv
>everyone is passed out around me and i decide i should get ready for bed as well
>suddenly im really horny
>before we go further just know that i am not a furfag
>the host of the LAN has a small dog and is walking around sniffing at leftover pizza
>soooharrrrd.jpg
>pick him up
>bring him into the bathroom with me
>he doesnt struggle
>pull my pants down and have a throbbing erection
>try to stuff my dick in
>the dogs sphincter is tight and i cant fit it in
>eventually the dog is twisting around to see what im doing with his booty hole
>he shits a piss colored liquid onto my dick
>eugh
>let him out of the bathroom
>wash my dick off in the sink with bar soap (lol)
>jack off
>exhausted i clamber back to the living room and pass out on the couch

>>38461633
I harbor pedophilic attractions towards children of the opposite sex and struggle with cognitive dissonance to keep these feels in check.

So far I've done a good job at repressing these attractions.

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>>38463075
jesus assraping christ anon

>>38463075
i hope this is bait or you're a fucking retard

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>>38462956

be moar origanigal faggot

>>38461633
My secret is that I am fantasyzing with Taylor Swift at the moment

wtf

>>38463273
right with you anoni

I like to erp

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>>38463345
Want to be the girl tonight, anon? I'll dress you up extra pretty.

My life is so dull there's nothing worth telling. I fantasize about killing myself, but am too much of a coward to act. There's an incredibly cliche one.

>be me
>in first grade
>we're all sitting down in our chairs listening to the teacher teach some dumb shit
>i recently discovered the greatest invention to a man, the fap.
>i didnt think it was much of an issue, didnt think it was weird or anything
Okay so theres this big rug in the corner of the room where the whole class is called to sometimes to solve math problems
>instead of going down to the rug, i decide to jack it right there in my chair
>the teacher notices me with my hand in my pants going to town
>"anon! stop doing that! get up and wash your hands!"
>calmly get up and go to the sink on the other side of the room and wash my hands
>sit down on the rug and continue on with my day
>i dont know if the teacher told my parents or not, i hope she didnt
>this incident has never left my mind until now, and i'd like to keep it that way.
i still think about it to this day. ready2die

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it is illegal for you to step onto the moon.
how dose it feel human.

I once had sex in the missionary position for sole purpose of recreation.

>>38462989
Don't worry about it anon. I work ing a lab and as a10 year old they probably needed to do a metabolic screen which only has 24 hour stability. Most other tests are fine for even a week old specimen.

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>last month
>Taking a nightwalk
>Walking towards a nearby church
>See two guys hanging out next to it but don't think to much of it
>One guy looks at me and I get nervous
I'm autistic, awkward and easily frightened, every time I see someone on the street and it's just me and them, unless it's a really old woman I get nervous, seriously I could think I'm about to get shot by a skinhead and then think the black guy near me is going to kill me, I even thought
>He stops me and asks if I'm gay
>He asks me again if I like boys
>He says something along the lines of "I have dick sucking lips" or something to that affect
>Tell him I'm going to leave
>His friend is completely occupied with something else
>He asks for a high-five
>Awkwardly high five him
>He starts laughing and saying "YO HE'S SUSPECT AS FUCK"
I honestly wouldn't have a problem sucking his dick
Also this wasn't the first time something like this happened, one time a mexican guy wanted me to sit down next to him and then a year or two later this older guy wanted to go somewhere private

>>38461901
None of us are good.

>>38461633
I got naked on omegle and had other guys jerk off to me

Oh yeah also I peed my bed after a night of heavy drinking, that was well embarrassing

>>38461633

God is real, and he loves us all, that doesn't mean he can't dislike you more for being a certain way. He feel as though he made me almost like a black hole of negative emotion, drawing even those around me in, as punishment for wallowing in selfpity.

It's pretty obvious I'm going to hell as of now, even when it seems like I'm going in the general direction of heaven, he makes it obvious I'll at least have to face some repercussions while I'm still on earth.

Sometimes it's comforting to turn away from him and blame him for my mistakes, but then I have to make up for it twice over when I accept my mistake. I just wish I could get rid of my paranoid delusions of people trying to talk to me through the radio.

Even if you don't believe in God, try asking him to prove he cares for you, and is actually there, be as humble as you can, you don't really have anything to lose from the experience.

>>38462035
Of course, another woman who thinks they're gay. How fucking original. Please just kill yourself you uninteresting cow.

"I don't fit in, maybe it's cause I like girls sort of." Boo, leave the board, I heard a thousand young, I'm so qwerky cunts say this in high school. Attention seeking proto-normies

>>38462040
I think the problem is with the world, not me. This shithole is just not decent enough.

I was sleeping (...actual sleeping you fuckers) with my mom up until the age of..idk..12? Like up until 8/9 it was regular more or less since we didn't have too many beds and idk I was used to it.

Later when I was like 12-13 I called my mom to sleep with me cause it was comfy...the problem is that around this time I discovered masturbating so when I was sure she is asleep I was masturbating.... I guess she knew but idk

I unironically listen to very edgy anime songs, but switch to nigger music when I have to leave my house.

>>38463906
Post your lips senpai

>>38461633
When I was about 6 a guy showed me his dick while we were playing some sport with other friends.
Nobody saw it, but my friends made fun of me when I told them.
It's relieving to share, nobody else remembers (not even that guy)

>>38463075
You're just using pot to try and make an excuse for your retarded behaviour. And that is retarded. Nobody does stupid shit on pot except ramble on about stuff or sit around all day doing nothing. You've either never smoked weed or you're a total faggot.


>>38463221
I agree. I think it's probably the latter.

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when i was in 5th grade we sometimes went to eachothers houses and grinded dicks together and other gay stuff. no actual sex tho. did it for months.

thank god i moved away

>>38465326
That's not happening also I'm pretty sure he was just joking with me, my lips are pretty normal.

>>38465598
Please post them, senpai.

>>38465675
I'm black so it's not even worth it.

I got Really drunk at a strip club and I ate out a stripper during a private dance. She told she'd fuck me for the price of four songs but my credit card got declined

>>38461633
I still love my soulmate but can't have sex with her because it's physically impossible for two perfect soulmate to have real sex and all I want in life is her at least physically and mentally

I get super fucking depressed while I'm high and drunk

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I once masturbated on my school's baseball field on a Friday night in December because I was lonely and depressed. It was snowing too.

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This shitty board is slowly making me want a qt trap bf, i have never even haf homosexual experiences or thoughts before this

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>>38462009
I don't know about you but I'm shooting .22

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I have a huge sissy humiliation fetish, and to sate it I go to /trash/ rp threads and wait till the gay crowd comes online to find someone to bully me with their cock. I'd never tell anyone about this ever, not even a future bf because it's embarrassing and makes me a failure as a man

I once ghosted an Anon with a very cute body who was super into me because he was super uggo. I just couldn't handle it, his body was amazing but his face looked like someone smashed it with a bat. I saw him earlier tonight posting in a trap thread and saying he always gets ghosted by people and felt really bad for a bit.

It's my ultimate fantasy to be Guts one day, he's a perfect man in my eyes. I've taken it to an autistic level, I wrote down every line of dialogue in the lost children arc (my favorite) to repeat during my conversations, I'm taking long sword classes, and a sewed myself a huge black robe cape thing.

I'm so fucked up

>>38462889
I thought you said you were 17? What are the chances that two different robots curbstomped a rabbit in their youth?

this situation right now

instead of going out and getting chick fil a I'm at home shitposting on r9k. why?

because I'm scared of being spaghetti at chick fil a

lol

>>38463144
Keep up the good work, anon. It's easy for normies to dismiss people like you as evil but in fact you have proven yourself better than most. It's not what you can't control that matters, it's what you choose to do and not to do.

I used to write every single day, in a diary. I used a cipher program I created to make the text inelligible, and anytime I wanted to read it I would use the incredibly hard to find program and run the the text through it.

>>38466876
You're not a true robot. A true robot would brave the spaghetti to get tendies (and probably fail, but at least he tried). You can't even say you tried.

>>38461633
I have a whole box of sort of gothic clothes and accessories (incl. black nail polish) that I occasionally wear when nobody is around. I'm sure my family knows about it because they are nosey fucks who go through my stuff when I'm not around, but I don't wear it openly around them because if they broach the topic I'll have to have a whole conversation to explain I'm not a fudge packer. This must be what cross dressers go through.

>>38467084
Remember anything especially juicy from there anon?

When i listen to my music I have a really autistic dance where I just walk around and twitch a lot basically. Also when I play my Xbox I do a little bit of twitching. The biggest autistic part about me is that I usually have background music in my head for certain situations and shit like that. I swear I'm not autistic though nobody ever notices. Except one time my niece caught me twitching while playing my game and she just stared at me baffled, luckily she's only like 10 years old so she'll forget, she hasn't brung it up since.

>>38467154
No, It's too embarrassing. I was in a delirious state when I wrote in it most of the time.

I like to masturbate outside in the woods. I don't do it nearly as much now as I did when I was in high school, but I can't truthfully say I've stopped. It isn't the thought of getting caught that makes it exciting, more like just being completely exposed to the open air. Although I will admit to harboring fantasies of catching a girl doing the same thing and "lending her a hand." I know it's kind of degenerate because I could get caught and have to register as a sex offender, or a kid could see me, etc, which is mostly why I want to stop altogether.

>>38467232
>I usually have background music in my head for certain situations
You should work in video game development, anon.

I want to make music that people like more than anything else.

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one time I faked sickness to get out of going to school

I tried an enema and it feels pretty great even if it's disgusting

>>38461633

theres several to choose from, i guess ill choose this not-so-recent one then.

so, i am a very obsessive person, i always have been. in 5th grade, i had heard about hitler, and read a bit about him in the basic books they had in library. i was obsessed with nazis when i was fucking 10, and im mixed race so i realised that it didnt make much sense.

i cringe bad at these memories because i was trying to convince others to like this too, and this was almost all i thought about. my obsessions did change to many other things though, luckily.

I don't like being here.

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i'm a numb husk who spends my empty days thinking about killing people and jerking off to traps

>>38466567
>chick lean
gross

When I visited 4chan for the first time I made a paedophilic post. I wasn't getting replies fast so I replied to myself. This is when we had post I.Ds in every board. Which I didn't realise until I saw my second post. I still didn't get a respond and It wasn't even on a orange board.

I think I might have AIDS or at least HIV positive but I'm too scared/lazy to find out. Either way I've already made peace with it which was easy since I'm a piece of shit at heart and probably wasn't going to accomplish much with my INTP small-dicked turbo autismo existence. I'll just ride the wave until it stops and drown and get eaten by sharks.

>>38461633
i still pick my nose and eat my boogers. im 25

>>38467128
wrong

a failed normie would have tried and spaghettid

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I wish I was born a female but am too shy/ashamed/hateful of myself/whatever to even try to crossdress for a day or so. I download all of the guides and pictures I come across here, but like everything in life I'm too scared when it actually comes down to it.

Seduced a relative into having a kid with. It's a secret between us.

>>38463906
I*od ?

>>38466644
lmao
you're really cute
what's your contact

>>38461633
Well, since you asked

>be me
>be in Kindergarten or 1st grade
>class being led all over for shit as usual
>eventually led to bathroom
>all the boys line up at urinals and some go to stalls
Back when I was little, every time I had to piss I would just drop my pants because only piss regularly in my own house.
>standing there at urinal, child brain doesn't work out how other kids just whip out their dicks without dropping pants
>decide 'fuck it' and they fall to my ankles
>firmly plaster hand over my bare ass because I don't want the others staring
>walk out after hiking pants up since the big round kiddie fountain is placed outside the bathrooms so teachers can observe proper hygiene
>approached by teacher and asked if I showed my ass to the others
>casually tell her I pulled down my pants to pee
>told not to do that again

Looking back on it, I find it pretty funny.

A good female friend of mine told me that when she was only 14, she sucked a guys dick.
I myself don't really have any secrets that are bad. At most I have furry porn, anime, hentai, tentacle porn, and that's basically it.

Oh, and I secretly want to kill any human with an IQ below 100. I want to kill those born with disabilities. This human race does not need anything holding it back.
Imagine where we would be in that world though. . .. Everyone is smart(ish) to an extent and having no disabled people (except those who had accidents later in life) would be a lot better.
Just think about the millions of dollars we put towards them and think how we could use that money elsewhere.

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>Pretty close with cousin cousin
>had sleep over, slept with her in her bed
>Had erection, dick poked her.
>I'm pretty sure she knows but didn't tell anything.
>mixed feeling of guilt and excitement
>few weeks later second sleep over, same story but I'm unnaturally more physical with her
>cuddling and spooning
>dick is hard, but too scared to initiate anything
>eventually morning comes, we both didn't sleep
>no words about it

We used to talk a lot and hang out from time to time. Now she's avoiding me and it was months ago. I'm afraid to talk to her about this, I'm sure I've made her feel uncomfortable and want to apologize. She was my sole female exposure.

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>>38469455
what jobberino do jew have? I'm guessing you networked into it?

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>>38461633
I cross dress as Harley Quinn on Halloween, because some of the old men spank me on my ass

>>38465738
Stupid nigger post your lips

>sex dream about my mother
>extremely hot
>wake up with raging erection
>masturbate to idea of banging my mom

i have told friends about the dream. but i will never admit to voluntarily masturbating to it.

>>38469990
I once had a dream about raping one of my close friends and threatening to kill him if he told anyone. I get hard whenever I think about it even though I don't find him attractive.

>>38469874
post post ?spank me on my assHarley Quinn

>>38464039
I had a similar phase when I was like 12, except it only lasted a couple weeks and I didn't jack off.

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I'm incompentent in most of common, everyday things that even an 8 years old have no problems dealing with.

I'm in my mid-forties & have yet to have
my first kiss.

>>38463897
That actually helped. Thanks anon

There were these two girls in high school that I had gym with. I thought they were both cute as fuck so of course I was scared of them. I finally gain courage to talk to them and I asked them if they were sisters (to me they looked kinda familiar)

One of them says "do we look related" and starts laughing. I felt mocked. I dont remember what happened after that if I responded or if I just walked away like a bitch. I do know that I rarely spoke to either of them again despite thinking they were cute

I wont keep it a secret I will let you know when I get another qt gf again hopefully she will be a qt blonde this time

Show us some proof anon

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>>38461633
>8 year old niece gave me a lapdance out of nowhere for no reason and wouldn't stop even when I told her to

>>38471043
all in due time.
I can't want to rub it in desu

>>38466806
I've heard of this kind of shit before, not terribly uncommon I guess.

I haven't spoken to my ex-gf in about 2 months, but it's her who I think about(in a romantic way), who I wish I could get a second chance with, who motivates me to actually
stop beeing a fucking potato, but then Anon, you and I have spent sooo much more time with one another 100x more, why don't I feel this for you, and I think it is because we
lack that physical conetion you get in a IRL relationshp, and it just makes me think this "love" you say you feel for me is just platonic; how could you just forget
and move on from your ex when you still hang out with him every fucking day in this shit hole, when you are reminded of him constantly, it just doesn't make sense to me.
Your relatinship with him doesn't compare at our relatinship you guys were intimate like I was with my ex, if she and I still had that same constant conecction you both have I would never
move on, and I would continue to feel as I do now, which I think will eventually subside as I'm no longer in contact with her, but you see what I'm getting at?
I just don't buy it Anon. I'm sorry.

>>38461633

I genuinely think the world would be better off if we created social systems that prevent psychopaths from taking power

>>38463906
what does suspect as fuck mean?

>>38472708
Suspect of being gay.

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>>38464039
oh good. i was expecting you'd say you masturbated thinking bout your mom

>>38466420
probably b8 but .. dam i hope you changed your ways anon.

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Sometimes I randomly get thoughts of being very submissive. Kinda jog it around my head for few.

Then I realize what's going on and say,"What the fuck is wrong with me?"

>>38461633
I watched softcore porn with my 9 year old sister once (I was 11 years old)
I broke a bird's wing once and locked it in an abandoned shed because I was scared of the consequences
I almost strangled a guy in elementary school because he hit my leg with a skateboard
I bullied a retarded kid in kindergarten

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>decided to visit a brothel one day
>insane urge to piss as soon as i arrived
>greeted the guy at the reception and asked if i could use the bathroom before meeting the girls
>says sure and i go relieve myself
>come back and see girls
>2 disgusting old asian girls with one having fucked teeth and a third white girl that looked like a 30 something druggie
>say sorry but i'm not interested
>indirectly abusing me saying I just wanted to use his bathroom
>bailed out after saying sorry several more times

I'm actually surprised at the standards. I expected something more from the city or at least closer to it and not the suburbs.

I hide how suicidal I am because I can't afford to go to a ward or even go on meds.

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I have a small circle of somewhat extrovert friends that are all decent people although I complain about them online (espcially here) and talk about how normie and shitty they are. In reality I'm actually the shitter and I just hate being around people and I'm shit at social interaction and having to communicate with them at all. I feel comfortable being alone yet I want the company of a good friend or two but without having to constantly talk, and still have them enjoy having me around and be up to hang out even after a month or two of no communication. I want people to talk to me but only when I want to talk to them

fuck I hate myself

>>38469582
Kind of had a similar experience
>4th grade in a catholic elementary school during recess
>while other kids were playing outside, stayed indoors with another boy and a girl
>somehow we talk about our genitals
>me and the other dude show our dicks to the girl
>she shows us her pussy
>end of recess and go to the bathroom
>whole ordeal made the other kid so horny he was pissing at the urinal with his pants down to his ankles with his bare ass showing
>other kids in the bathroom wondering what's got into him

Pretty sure some of the sisters/nuns running the school saw the whole thing too but they didn't say anything kek.

haven't seen a vagina in person since then and I'm a 24 y.o virgin considering getting a hooker for my bday in a couple weeks

>>38463960
>try asking him to prove he cares for you
How about you try proving your "god" exists?

I, for one, chose not to believe in any of that bullshit. And all religions are bullshit.

>>38473700
>I want people to talk to me but only when I want to talk to them
I can relate. Talking to people tires me out (with the exception of having a conversation regarding a particular topic I obsess about); I can only handle dealing with people to an extent until it becomes painful.

I also have a difficult time switching between tasks, so if someone interrupts me when I'm working on something, the cognitive work-space I had built up for the task deteriorates.

>>38463477
This probably applies for almost everyone in here anyway.