Why am I isolating myself from everyone I know and care about?

>>38385044
I do the same. I feel the same.

To nice to put our bullshit on other people, and don't really want to deal with the full weight of other peoples baggage. Porcupine syndrome.

>>38385044
anon my man, the problem isn't your behavior being disconnected from your desires. You may not like the thought but you WANT isolation just as much as you want someone to care. The problem here is that isolating is a million times easier to accomplish, so you have to take some time to step back, analyze and prioritize what you really want. The conclusion could be dedicating certain days to one cause or another, rationing out your socialization so you don't feel that desire to isolate take over, or simply giving up on one pursuit or the other. But you gotta make that choice, and the longer you take to come up with a gameplan the worse it's gonna get for you.

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>>38385044
>tfw I've lived like this for a while and now the only friends I have are my tulpas

It's called Schizoid Personality Disorder.

You say you want more than anything for someone to care about you but that is bullshit, that's just what you've been sold, it what you see the rest of society having. The reason you shut yourself in and distance yourself from people is because deep down you don't really want anything to do with anyone else as you feel the most comfortable when alone.

How you feel right now is expectations that society has dug into you from a young age, they're not your true feelings. Your true feelings are wanting to stay away from people and be by yourself. The pain you feel is not because you don't have anyone, the pain you have is because you aren't successful in what society says you should be successful in (like having someone love you).

If you actually wanted to be with someone that badly you would not shut yourself in.

I am diagnosed with SPD, the thought of having other people in my life is only just a thought, brought upon by societal norms and expectations. I know deep down having a GF/Wife/Kids/Friends is an impossibility for me, because deep down I know I don't want it, because I know what I am like and what I really want, which is to be alone all the time. It took me a very long time to realise this fact, but the pain you feel (despite choosing to isolate yourself) is simply caused by others imprinting how you should be onto you, it's not your actual real desires, needs and wants.

It took me 10+ years of self imposed isolation to realise and now I am a much happier person.

i feel you.

i don't feel like i'm interesting enough to be worth someone's time. like any form of affection to me would be superficial and arbitrary.

>want people to care about me
>feel guilty when they do, wish they would stop
can't win

:( same anon help

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I used to do the same with my friends and I still kind of do. I have a group of friends on Discord I used to talk to a lot in highschool, but during the summer after my first year of college it took me 2 months to finally get myself on it and talk to them.

I'm not exactly sure why I didnt ever go on to talk to them, they are some of my best friends and I just decided to focus on my own thing and not ever communicate with them.

Now that its the latter half of summer tho I'm trying to start focusing on the friends in my life because I recognize they are the most important things I have. They aren't something I want to lose and I want to grow with them and create memories with them instead of just smoking and playing videogames all day by myself.

My advice to you, try to reach out to some of your closest friends and try to hang out or just play some online games with them. Even if its been forever since you talked to them they will be more than happy to do so because they miss you probably as much as you miss them.