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Just realised I should be dead lads. I had a shitty series

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Just realised I should be dead lads.

I had a shitty series of life events happen to me and I took up drinking. Was drinking about half a litre of vodka a night at points. Culminated with me pissing on the carpet outside an old friends apartment after having drunk like 13 bottles of heavy beer and more than half a litre of vodka. I'm trying to quit now. Worked out my .bac from that night and it would have been at 0.4, which on the sites I looked on said that that should have been enough to easily put me in a coma. Like easily. I fucking hate my life, but that's a scary thought and I thought some of you might find it interesting.

pic unrelated, but also is pretty much me at this point
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>>38377563
I tried to kill myself and the only reason I'm not dead is because I didn't realize the safety on my pistol was on. I walked away with a new appreciation for life, is exactly what didn't happen. I wish that safety was off because I will probably never build up the courage to do it again.
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