How do I brainwash/hypnotize myself into committing suicide?

>>38371009
be a fucking retard and shitpost about how sad and pathetic you are everyday. say you're going to an hero and one day your retardness will finally catch up and you will realise how much of a retard and failure you're to think that you can brainwash yourself into suicide that you will finally commit suicide. success.

>>38371009
I was at a point where my body started freaking out, there was this happening

Ive had this pain in my chest all day, I sat at the train station all alone and when the train drove in this pain started automatically to fill my whole body, it was like the train killed me, drove over me, I freaked out and thought I would lose controle over my body and went fast home in fear

How I came Top this point is not recommentable, pain, loss, shit life and also to complex