Why aren't women funny?

>>38129342
Humor is derived from pain. The only thing that a woman does that is even remotely funny is pregnancy, and even then they get all uppity about it.

>>38129342
if you werent so focused on fucking them. ie not a virgin you'd realize theyre just as funny as anyone else.

>>38129414
Where are the female George Carlins, you fucking faggot?

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>>38129342
Sarah Silverman is the only funny female comedian imo. She might be the funniest female on earth.

>>38129441
>thinking George Carlin is funny
>thinking your opinion matters


>haha le people are so dumb i'm so enlightened fuck all of you xD

Carlin in a nutshell.

>>38129511
>hurr durr I'm funnier than the guy from the first episode of Saturday Night Live
Please say something else. I want to see how stupid you are.

There are plenty of funny women. I'll agree that women are less encouraged to be funny so there are less of them, but they exist.

As far as professionals go, Chelsea Peretti, Lauren Lapkus, Claudia O'Doherty, Maria Bamford, Mary Holland and Jessica St. Clair are just as funny as the men they work with. And That's just off the top of my head.

And just a kind of unexpected note, but most Jane Austen novels are surprisingly hilarious.

>>38129448
>I'm a Jew. POOP
So hilarious.

>>38129408
Not necessarily pain, but self destruction and making fun of oneself.

Men can talk about something goofy and stupid they did and how they hurt themselves and spin it around into something funny because of evolutionary psychology.

Men are expendable in nature's design. Men are biological waste that serves to exist for hard labor and hunting then dying alone.

Women are not expendable in nature's design. Women are precious that need to stay alive to make babies since one man can impregnate many women.

Women do not self depreciate. Women do not talk about how ugly they are because their lives revolve around looking as good as possible. An undesireable woman is a useless woman and she is cast out of the social group and starves to death alone.

The gist of it is that women aren't funny or comedians because they think too highly of themselves.

The only kind of jokes women are capable of producing revolve around their husbands or vaginas. Either that or they interpret men's humor of self destruction as simply outright mockery of others, and mistake attacking other people as "humor".

Well, women are good shitposters. And I know this for a fact since my ex gf years ago would shitpost and get guys annoyed by the mere fact that she was annoying and a woman.

Women have a cringey normalfag sense of humor that is mostly confined to mainstream internet sites and TV. So when they come on sites like this, it annoys the regulars. How annoying they can be is funny enough.

>>38129575
She's a lot funnier than you. m8.

Can't think of any other funny women, though

>>38129342
women who say they're funny
aren't funny

unlike women who don't say they're funny

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>>38129676
I'm a doctor, not a comedian.

Christopher Hitchens made a cogent argument
http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2007/01/hitchens200701

>>38129638
>How annoying they can be is funny enough

How is that funny? That's not even bait. That's actual, legitimate, SHITposting. Not the sort of sneaky shitposting that's the modern day equivalent of trolling. I hope you dumped her and not the other way around because she sounds like /cgl/ cancer.

There are some funny as hell women, they're just ugly as fuck. An attractive woman could never be funny unless something in her past was really fucked up. Have you noticed the best comedians are ugly as fuck? They come from hell. You literally have to hate yourself to get up on stage and crack jokes.

>>38129556
>. I want to see how stupid you are.

Nice way to prove my point, faggot.
George Carlin fans are just stupid people who wanna feel superior to others.

the only legitimately funny girls i know of are either twitch streamers or girls who play video games

>>38129858
Maybe someday when you grow up, you'll understand that George Carlin is the comedian of the dystopian.
Here's the thread for you, kiddo. >>38128354

>>38129448
I'm going to go on record and say the only woman to make me laugh was Wanda Sykes one time.

Women can't create anything. They can only manipulate something which already exists. They can work well within a defined system, not at creating them.
They have no great philosophers, theoretical scientists, religious leaders, creative writers, innovators, pioneers of any kind.
So you look at female comedians and they're all predictable. Muh vagina, muh fat ass, muh crude humor.
They never tell a story that is uniquely funny by itself. It's always attached to something else considered comical and builds on that. This is boring and predictable to most. Aka not funny.

>>38129962
Its sad when the most notable woman writer is that hack jk rowling

>>38129998
There's also that Twilight bitch that figured out that sparkly vampires make vaginas twitch.

>>38130023
>>38129998
t. people who know nothing about literature

>>38130023
Yea but everyone except twilight fans admit shes a bad writer. She was literally a tumblr fan fiction writer that just threw some books together

>>38129342
because humor is taught. The girls that spend most time around guys, have brothers or are in a good relationship with their father are generally funny and i know a lot of funny girls.
But if girls spend most time around other girls, are being raised by a single mother or have nothing but sisters, chances are she wont be funny at all and you'll just want to punch her in the gut for every attempt at being funny.
Same goes for guys that hang out with only girls. They're not funny, they're just fucking annoying. Humor is a male thing and it can be taught.

>>38129342
>>38129998

And they both ripped off some other source material. Twilight is shitty fan fiction. Harry Potter is just high school with magic nazi wizards. There's no creativity in either. She didn't build a world around magic, like Tolkien for example, she just inserted some magic into an existing world.

>>38129342
Because there's generally no social pressure for them to be funny, they are accepted regardless. Men are expected to use their personality to entertain, women are hardly even required to have a personality. Really attractive men usually aren't funny either.

>>38129763

>How is that funny? That's not even bait. That's actual, legitimate, SHITposting. Not the sort of sneaky shitposting that's the modern day equivalent of trolling

It's shitposting and trolling, considering some of them do it on purpose and others just naturally have it ooze out. But other way it always works.

>I hope you dumped her and not the other way around because she sounds like /cgl/ cancer.

She was nice. She was great actually. Not /cgl/, she was a feminine type into martial arts and girly things. I could go on and on describing her but she was a mix of shy and extroverted. We broke it off because she was moving somewhere else for school and I'm not naive enough to think she wouldn't be getting fucked constantly there.

They don't need to be funny/charming. All they need to find a partner is a functioning fuck-hole.

There is no use. It fucks up their social dynamics within their female group. Because you're creating extra competition. It's far better strategy for women to just concentrate on their appearances and wait for the Chad to strike.

Guys im not just saying they choose not to, im saying they physically cannot do it.

Men are funnier because they need to be. Women value humor in a partner. Men not so much. In fact it could even be a liability for her if she's even funnier than her prospective partners. Men tend to feel insecure if a woman has been bowled over laughing hysterically all the time and he can never do the same to her. It's like she has the power.

Women value humor. One of the first things you hear a woman say about her new guy is "he's so funny". Humor is very important to men. It's a major part of how men woo women in the first place.

They don't innately expect a punchline. They unconsciously don't know what they're reading is a joke until they get to the end. So they have a low threshold for humor because they're more surprised (and they think dum/simple things are funny). This is because women have to be more serious about the real world because they birth and raise the species.

It seems like the vast majority of female comedians talk about nothing more than one night stands, children, or their periods/genitals. You can boil their stand-up routines down to in-jokes only other slutty women would get. Are most women utterly incapable of humourous social commentary or something?

>>38129414
lady detected.ssssssdsdsd

>>38129342
Paula Poundstone is pretty quick-witted on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me

>>38131367
>Poundstone identifies as asexual.
Doesn't count

>>38129612
Ellen's standup is pretty funny.

>>38131811
She is a lesbian and lesbians tend to have masculine oriented mindsets.

>>38130077
I can agree that her writing is not the best, but Harry Potter has actually a well defined universe by itself.

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Greetings, international NERF Warriors.
Today we strike back, operation foam.
Remember your training, and keep in mind:

It's Nerf, or nothing.

>>38131977
Newfag spotted, this isnt /b/

>>38131915
Its derivative garbage written for 8 year olds, dude.

>8 year olds

>>38129612
Fuck off roastie shill

>>38129342
This reminds me of a really hilarious bit that Patrice O'Neal was talking about on the Opie&Anthony show I think.
He was talking all about standup comedy and censorship, PC bullshit and "where the line gets crossed" etc. and he segued into a bit about how the truth is that comedians get up and tell a joke and if it is funny then the audience laughs but if the audience doesn't laugh it is not funny and the comedian goes back to the drawing board. But then Patrice mentions being heckled by women for telling sexist jokes or something and he got into this whole philosophical thing that women "DON'T KNOW funny" it's a man's job to be inappropriate e.g. funny and it's the woman's job to keep him in line and say "that's not funny" he explained this is the perfect balance in nature and stuff

anyways every time I think about women and comedy I hear Patric's voice in my head "YOU DON'T KNOW FUNNY!"
man I miss that guy ;__:

>>38131915
The fuck are you talking about?
It's literally just our universe with some nonsensical magic thrown in.
There are no rules unless there need to be for plot armor.
There is no reason the unforgivable curses are unforgivable.
She created nothing but quidditch and even that makes no sense.

>>38132406
I have to agree.

I loved the books, but a great exercise in world-building they are NOT.

Worst example: If it was possible to defeat Voldemort the way Harry did, no one could ever possibly be a dark wizard and the entire threat category couldn't exist. The first time someone died fighting him "to save others" then all his powers would be gone.

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theyd rather comparew asses than be like the rest

>>38132391
this is actually the bit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjIuPSuYSOY

fucking hilarious