Hi I would like to talk about depression. Has anyone here had

>>38104758
>depression
>"has anyone here had this problem?"
>r9k

Nah
I doubt it

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>>38104758
>Has anyone here had this problem?
yes.

>Did you get over or are you taking the treatment?
last year i had some sort of a mental breakdown i hated my life and i wanted to die, i couldn't laugh, cry, concentrate, or enjoy anything, i felt like a worthless sack of shit all the time.
i stayed like this for more then a month until my mother recommended that i try to visit a psychiatric, i got prescribed some ciprlax and xanan, i felt change from the first day i was so fucking happy i was so immersed in a game that i couldn't stand playing for 10 mins i was very happy and even my anxiety that stopped me from leaving my house disappeared.
after the first two weeks on medication i had to up the dose but it had a negative affect it made me so fucking tired and i started going back to my depressed state i stayed like this for a month, i had to go to the doctor he changed my medication to zolfot,
Zoloft worked i wasn't tired 24/7 i felt okay but i didn't return to my normal state i stayed on Zoloft for 2 months until i quit cold turkey.
i quit because it turned out SSRI had a negative impact on a penis and could cause erectile dysfunction, the withrawl sypthoms lasted for a weak i felt some jolts in my body from time to time some wired headache and i was very tired,
after a week i was okay.

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I'm sure at least 90% of people on here have dealt with it in some way.

But I'll just talk about my experience I guess.

So my mom had always dealt with mental illnesses, she had really bad manic depression, and I inherited some of her problems.
Through high school I was never really happy, I had friends, but I just wasn't happy. But it never got really bad, I was never thinking about actually killing myself, but after high school I went to college away from home, and it started to get really bad, so basically my first year of college was really bad, and I felt like I needed to change something in my life. So I started to go to church cause I thought God could help me with my problems.
I decided to go to the Mormon church because my parents were raised in it, and everyone one in Utah went there.

So after a while they tell me that I can go on a mission, and that If i didn't go God wouldn't love me.

So I was pretty broken already and I hated school and Utah and I wanted to leave it, but I had no money, and the church would pay for me to go to a different country for 2 years. It sounded like a pretty sweet deal. So I figured I would go.

Should I keep going?

>>38105129
i still barely laugh and i can't even remember the last time i cried.

>>38105188
>but after high school I went to college away from home, and it started to get really bad
kek it was the same period for me as well, i was a normal human being until i graduated high school.
keep going anon

OP here

I don't cry but I can't get out of bed, I can't concentrate for nothing (study, tv, work...).. I just wanna stay in bed doing nothing. It's pretty hard to me.

>>38105392
>but I can't get out of bed, I can't concentrate for nothing (study, tv, work...).. I just wanna stay in bed doing nothing.
even after medication? you should stay on the same drug for 2 weeks if it still doesn't work or made you worse ask the doctor to change it, it's normal for a drug to not work you just have to find the right one.

>>38104758
>Has anyone here had this problem?
Four years and still going strong
>Did you get over or are you taking the treatment?
Wednesday will be my first therapy session after being on a waiting list for half a year.

Basically, everything started going to shit after I started secondary school when I was 11. In primary school I wasn't really bullied; a few times perhaps, but I don't think that had any effect on me.
In the first year of secondary I was one of the youngest and shortest boys. I also had buckteeth and a bowlcut. I went with two friends from primary, but they soon cut the ties and kind of turned against me - understandable, because they weren't really popular themselves. I wasn't bullied a lot - a couple kids got it way worse than I did - but I was excluded.

I think this destroyed any self confidence and self esteem I had. I stayed in that class for two years. I had to redo the second year, which meant I got all new classmates. Thing got better: I got one really good friend and befriended many others. I liked one girl and in retrospect I think she liked me back, but I was too afraid to act on it; my lack of self confidence made me fear rejection.
After that year, things started going downhill. I had braces until just before my 16th bday, which I was really self conscious about. I slowly stopped hanging out with everyone except my best friend. Around the time I turned 17 I was depressed. I wanted to kill myself but was afraid there would be nothing after death.
I quit uni within a few months after fucking up on pretty much every aspect of college life. I went to work in a warehouse until the start of a new uni year. I went back, but dropped out after like two weeks for various reasons. I didn't want to go back to work because I didn't feel like telling people I flunked out twice.

I'm now a 20 yo neet until september. I think my depression is at its worst since I was 18 because I don't have anything to distract me from it. (1/2)

>>38105535
(2/2)
I don't feel anything. I'm lonely and isolated. I become discouraged shortly after starting things. Lately my appetite has been dwindling: I don't really feel like eating enough anymore and I'm losing weight. I still want to die, but there are too many reasons (family, faith, fear) not to do it.

I just want it to end.

>>38105531
No. I've been using it for 9 days. I'll wait for 2~3 weeks before the next appointment.
I'll hope lexapro work well with me.

>>38105535
I hope the therapy help you.
I regret not having started treatment before. Enjoy while you're still young and treat this depression.

I have been contemplating suicide for about six months. For about three years my emotions have felt dull. Recently I am almost unable to feel anything. I can't laugh or cry. Been drinking and experimenting with drugs lately. Probably gonna off myself soon.

>>38104758
>has anyone here ever had this problem?
Yes.
>how did you get over it?
Hospitalised at a mental institute. Went in very quite and shy, got out agressive as all hell. Anger-fuse non-fucking-existant. Snap qt everything, incapable of communicating without making the other side uncomfortable, feel like shit because of it, not going back to being depressed because i dont want to go back to the institute, instead be angry and sad all the time, start going to gym, eating healthy, pay more attention at work, still empty inside. I could fucking kill an ego-fuled chad trying to impress his stacy without even trying because martial arts n shit.
>conclusion: an institute will NOT help, they replace your already existing problem with another, in my case depression with excessive agression.
(side note: staryed enjoying rape porn. Dont know if connected)

>>38105587
I feel the same but I realize that's not me, it's only the depression "talking", It's all due to the level of serotonin.
This feelings is normal but with therapy and meds to regulate our brain chemistry, we can change.

>>38105188
So I get ready to go on my Mormon Mission. I was actually really excited about it, and so was my family.
I got everything ready and put in my papers to go. I waited a few weeks, and finally I got my mission call, I was super happy about it, all my family and friends came over to watch me open it up, they all guessed where I was going. So I opened it up and I got called to South Africa, I was super excited, I think it was the happiest moment of my life. I just wanted to leave super bad and experience life, I wanted to be like Indiana Jones I guess, I wanted to go to weird places and eat weird food, and almost get killed.

So I left my home in Utah and went to South Africa, to get trained to be a missionary. They have a training center for new missionary's called the MTC for kids to go to.

Fast forward to the first day doing missionary work, I get my companion, he's a 18 year old who looks like a clown, he seems pretty weird.
He picks me up and we go to our area. It's a town that looks like it had been built in the 70's that had been taken control of by Africans and run down. It wasn't the harsh African wildernesses that I had hoped for.

So the next few days and weeks we spent teaching a bunch of drunk idiots about the Book of Mormon. Most of them didn't even speak English properly. When we weren't doing that we were at gas stations passing out pictures of Jesus.

So it's hard to explain my self here, because this is when I started to get really bad, I was super shy and wasn't good at talking to people, so doing this made me really uncomfortable. Like to the point that I would have to keep myself from crying, I hated so much. I think it's the closes I will ever come to facing my biggest fear.

I really didn't want to go home though, my parents were super happy I went, and told me how much better their life's had gotten after I left. They thought God was blessing them. I didn't think that going home was really an option.

>>38105805
>>38105852
Thanks fellas. I hope you get better as well.

>>38105896
try to fight the shyness, fighting it helped me get over my anxiety, it was awful at first but it started disappearing little by little.

I've been dealing with severe depression for 10 years. I've seen half a dozens of providers and therapists, been on literally every single medication, have been committed as an inpatient to psychiatric hospitals three times, and have even done electroshock therapy. Nothing has provided lasting relief, I'm thinking of overdosing on fu-f someday.

What's important to know also for this story is that I don't believe in the Mormon Church and I never have, and I have pretty mixed feelings about God.

So I was doing something that I hated for 14 hours a day 7 days a week. And I was trapped there for 2 years.

But it wasn't all bad though because every Monday we got to email home, no one really emailed me but a girl I liked from high school. Every Monday she would email me without fail, and she would tell me how much she looked up to me, and how much I meant to her and just stuff like that. So even though I was horribly depressed, I still could survive because I knew that when I got home I might have a girl waiting for me.

>>38105188
>>38105896
>>38106388
So I made it a year and than I think I just started to have panic attacks. I was super emotional unstable, I hated living, I honestly wanted to die, but.......... I still had those sweet emails from that cute girl, to give me some strength to make it through the week.

But I started to get really sick mentally and physically, I thought I might actually die from Africa.

So one Monday I decided to tell that girl I liked her, and that I wanted to date when I got home. So I waited had to wait a week to get the response from her, so next week rolled around and I read her email and she said "Wow I'm flattered but I don't think I could ever do anything with you homie".

After reading that Honestly felt like a was dead, like I couldn't feel anything for a second, I had spent every night just looking at pictures of her so I wouldn't kill myself, and I knew that it was all pointless. I had nothing to live for anymore, I knew God wasn't real, no one cared about me, and the one girl was just emailing me because she probably felt bad for me or something.

So I decided I should just kill myself, I went in the bathroom and I started to cut myself. I was ready for everything to just end. But I was taking a long time in there and my companion started to get suspicious so he walked in and saw me. Anyways he called the mission president I got sent home, and now I'm home.

This was like 6 months ago, I'm living at home working a shitty job, I have no friends and that girl won't talk to me. I'm kind of giving up, no one understands,. Every time I meet a girl I scare her away.

What is it actually like to not have depression?

Does everything just seem amazing or what? I'm not even sure I have depression cause I don't know what the difference between normal and depressed actually is

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it just grew into me, like it is just a part of me now. once i accepted it, it was easier to live with

>>38104758
>Has anyone here had this problem?
yes
>Did you get over
No, I just haven't died yet
>or are you taking the treatment?
no

>>38106584
>Does everything just seem amazing or what? I'
that is the opposite of depression
the symptoms are you will stop enjoying things you used to enjoy, you will be tired most of the time and just want to sleep with no interest in anything, you lack of motivation, feeling worthless and probably start wanted to die.

>>38104758
>Did you get over or are you taking the treatment?
It's scientifically proven that you can't "get over it." You can distract yourself from it, you can take meds to artificially alter your state of mind which for some people isn't a viable option, but you'll never truly be over it, it'll always be in the back of your mind.

>>38104758
I've said this countless times before but I had heavy depression and tried everything but nothing worked until I took a hefty dose of acid (wasn't even trying to medicate, just have fun) and during the peak of my trip my friend told me about some embarrassing shit he used to do any it made me realize for the first time that everyone has their fears, anxiety, doubts, memories they want to forget, etc. and that I was wasting my life worrying about my own. Now I take every opportunity that comes my way. I still get depressed every once in a while but I cannot remember a time in my life before that trip where I was a generally happy as I am now.
I'd probably have killed myself if it weren't for that.

holy fuuuck I feel so fucking bad

I just saw an old friend when I was out, just walking around. I wish I had said hi and reconnected but we didn't talk to each other.

I hate this I hate being alone I feel so fucking awful.

>>38106430
Desu you should email that girl and tell her you were in a shitty situation and having her as a friend was helping you through it. I mean what are the risks? You're not communicating with her anymore and you could at least have her back as a friend if she's sympathetic.

>>38106430
You had a dynamic life and it has exhausted you. Also, don't place your purpose on a girl. Humans are egocentric and eventually any relationship would turn in a static oftenly collapsing mess. Do what you like. Focus on the small things even if they are buying a burger or drinking some scotch on a lonely night. The core of the problem is you focusing over the things you see as negative. The moment you start focusing on the small things or your ambitions, instead of your ""problems"", you will find peace.