> tfw talk with a person > seems friendly enough > play

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Don't ever stop caring anon. Don't give the world what it wants. Don't let them rob you of your warmth. Its important to care.

Just care for the right people..

>>38098242
>How do I stop caring and becoming attached to people?
By having mentality that people come and go and believing that you're going to meet even more friends.

>>38098242
Why not enjoy the friendship while it lasts? Nothing is meant to last forever.

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>>38098316
Quite the warm spark You've shared Yourself, most admireable.

>>38098242
Story of my life. Things go wrong, moving, abandonment, every connection goes nowhere. I've gotten very withdrawn from it and tend not to really talk to people much anymore, I keep myself occupied and try not to think about it. Especially because of how fake and pointless a lot of communication feels, and everyone is so transient. You lose everyone at some point, things die, connections die, you will die.

It might sound good to emotionally isolate yourself because of it, withdraw and stop caring about others. I did it and I'm not sure if I would have done differently now. I think I'm kind of broken from all my experiences and I'm kind of cold to people. You learn to manage, keep occupied, not think about things. Sometimes if you end up making a friend you can even feel good hurting and ignoring them because you don't give a shit and they do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEvZX-u4cGg

If anyone would like to hear it out.

>>38098417
>try not to think about it
Yet you want connection, in the end you're running away from yourself.

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>>38098417
>Sometimes if you end up making a friend you can even feel good hurting and ignoring them because you don't give a shit and they do.
I don't see why not see to eachothers wellbeing, sometimes happiness and joy of others is ours also.
That dear ones, as scarce as they are, fade in and out is a different matter, as far as I'm concerned no excuse not to keep looking to the heart's content.

>>38098448
Maybe, but if I'm running, it's hard to stop and it feels good. I've accepted things.
>>38098475
I find it hard not to push away even those people now. I think you're right, but if you do the opposite and shut everyone out completely, at some point it feels impossible to do anything else and you don't want to. Somewhere in my heart I know it's kind of a bad idea and that I've hurt a lot of people and I'm hurting myself, but it's usually hard to believe it and I can't think of any reason to change, only the same reasons and logic that lead me to distance myself from others in the first place.

>>38098572
>I've accepted things
No you didnt.

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>>38098358
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind it that much when a friendship ends. Well, I want it to last, but I know it can never be perfect. What hurts the most is when the person just disappears and strings you along. I guess the only thing that makes me happy is that it made them happy to have my attention during the time and tell me the things they knew would make me try even more.
I'm just a bit tired of being discarded when people end up feeling good. I also went into a habbit of not sharing my problems with them, since when I do the people tend to not comfort me, don't give any advice, ignore me or flat out say "i'm ruining the mood". So it's always just me comforting them while I sit and rot in my own world, not wanting to be a burden.

>>38098316
> Just care for the right people..

I always think that that person is the "right person", but it's never the case. I guess I should fall for people so easily, shouldn't get as attached, but continue to care. I do it to myself.

>>38098585
If you say so. I am who I am and I made my own choices and chose everything that lead me to where I am. I chose the life I have when I could've done something different. I really feel a lot more at peace than ever, like I'm not struggling, relaxed.

>>38098242
>How do I stop caring and becoming attached to people?
Don't. Find someone else. Repeat until you find someone worthy of your attention. It's how things work, sadly.

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>>38099389
I'll just work on me not getting too attached to someone emotionally. Maybe i'll continue with talking to people who have a crisis and go back to volunteering on the suicide hotline and other places. Never got attached to anyone there, but it always felt good to just care for the person that's having problems

Again, it just kinda feels lonely since i'd love to be cared for aswell, but maybe i'm not so good or worthy of it

>>38099467

Im honestly in the same position.

I seem to be the one always asking the questions and being invested in others whilst they generally answer and never ask back. I seem to be putting the effort in most of the time and they just seem to lose interest.

If you want to talk about it here's my discord Edonice#1587

>>38099467
I get easily attached too (I'm a very clingy person), so I know how you feel.
>maybe i'm not so good or worthy of it
I doubt you aren't. It's just difficult to find someone who gives you enough feedback.

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>>38099542
I mean it's not like I stalk the people or anything. I jsut go out of my way to help them after a few days of talking to them and getting to know them. Sure, if I don't like the person or if they don't like me, then it all stops. All good. I never lead them along on some fantasies and shit. But what's annoying is when the other person starts going on and on about how much they care, but never show it. Never put the effort. Then just disappear into nothingness.

Still, maybe it's creepy to some and maybe I push too much without noticing it.

>>38099542
Being clingy sucks, I'm >>38098417 and I think a lot of why I've gotten so withdrawn and try so hard not to care for others is since I care for them so easily. I have really crippling bpd and mental health issues.

It's interesting what you saying even if you're good enough, it's hard to find someone who gives enough feedback. I think this is often how I felt. Like maybe things are fine for someone else and they think they are doing enough? But to me it's easy to see people as not caring at all and then kind of devalue and want to abandon them. So it's easier to mostly withdraw and emotionally isolate myself. People are overwhelming in their underwhelmingness.

>>38099588
I don't stalk people either. I immediately stop talking to them as soon as I notice less feedback. I get depressed afterwards. I'm also very paranoid and always think the other person is not enjoying talking to me or thinks I'm annoying (I have very low self-esteem).
>>38099615
>But to me it's easy to see people as not caring at all and then kind of devalue and want to abandon them.
Exactly how I feel, anon. It's one the reasons I'm lonely all the time.

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>>38099615
> But to me it's easy to see people as not caring at all and then kind of devalue and want to abandon them.

I'm guilty of this aswell. If I feel that i'm the only one asking questions and making sure the person feels nice, asking about their day and trying to expand on discussions, I just end up leaving. Now, I don't need them to reply to me every day and write books. That would be silly to request it would be nice, but it would be kinda good if they wanted to talk about themselves and me sometimes.

The classic way of how things progress is I end up writting huge messages, where I talk about my day so it seems interesting, asking them about theirs, trying to motivate them and all that. Then the person replies with a "yeah, that's amazing" and that's it.

>>38099681
> I don't stalk people either. I immediately stop talking to them as soon as I notice less feedback. I get depressed afterwards. I'm also very paranoid and always think the other person is not enjoying talking to me or thinks I'm annoying (I have very low self-esteem).

Exactly same feeling

>>38099681
>Exactly how I feel, anon. It's one the reasons I'm lonely all the time.
It's kind of funny. The result of fearing abandonment so much I abandon people pre-emptively and tell myself they don't care anyway, which they often may actually not and have put in as much effort, but who knows. And then when I abandon them and don't hear a word from them, it assures me they probably didn't even notice.

I think I get the same sort of paranoia about others, I'm always really conscious about conversation and interactions. Like I intellectualise it all in my head and try to make sense of it, whereas a lot of people seem to just do it.

It's all a vicious self-fulfilling cycle I can't break out of I guess, and all I can do is justify it and repeat it. Over and over and over.
>>38099720
I know what you mean exactly. I can do something and it feels so amazing and I want to write about it and tell someone else how nice it was, and ask them all about what they were up to, but I'll probably not even get much in response.

It would be nice to have someone you could really invest in and do everything and not worry about. Like a best friend you can share everything with, no drama, etc, but it's all so impossible and I rather withdraw than try and be disappointed again and again.

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>>38099761
> but it's all so impossible and I rather withdraw than try and be disappointed again and again.

This is how I feel usually. Personally i'd just love a friend to motivate and that motivates me in return. I don't care if the person is a "normie", has friends, has a social circle. If they're better or worse. I just want them to be capable to understand feelings, self doubt, self hate. To talk and so on.
To play games, do banter, share my problems and listen to theirs.
And if the person was into gamedev, that would be the absolute bomb. If we could do gamejams together and dev together that would be just amazing.

>>38099852
I'm into programming. Where are you from, anon? M-Maybe we can write code together..

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>>38099963
Europe. My programming is script kiddie tier. I just use game engines for micro games and i'm a gigantic amateur. It's still fun to do.

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>>38098242
One day all you Discordfaggots and Steamfaggots will understand how childish and autistic you look from outside your drama circlejerk. Keep crying over getting ghosted, it's the nature of your shitty culture

>>38100037
> you have to be like me
> you have to talk like me
> everyone that doesn't think like me is bad

But good luck with whatever you're gonna do, anon. not sure why you have the bitterness, but I hope it passes.

>>38100001
I'm from Europe too. I know how to program in C (first year of CS). I don't think it's that hard to learn.
Have you ever tried to learn a language?

Attachment has to be a mutual thing.

>>38100057
The bitterness comes from seeing one of the boards I frequent constantly bombarded by two main types of garbage threads, shill/bait-type threads and your cancer. I'm not trying to say you have to be exactly like me or anything but you have to understand how fucking toxic you lot are, at the very least find some other site to cry over your latest """breakup""" on and leave /r9k/ alone

>>38100063
Yeah. Right now I just use c#. I also know some c++. Will be actively studying and learning a few languages soon, hopefully trying to get a job with it aswell if I don't fall apart for the xth time.

>>38100094
That's cool. I used to program in C++ in HS. I also used Unity in the past, fun times.
P-Post a throw-away if you need a friend (I desperately need one), I'll be back in 15 minutes or so.

tfw no one ever got attached to me

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>>38100150
I use Unity now. I try to use it daily, but generally i lack the motivation. Would be nice to do a gamejam or make a mobile game or something like that.

Plop your discord here
[email protected]

>>38099852
I feel the same way, it makes me kind of sad reading since even though it sounds like we'd get along, I'm too hesitant to really speak to or open up to anyone.

I'm not exactly into game dev, but I've enjoyed some programming and designing things is really fun. I like creative hobbies. I've done a lot of modding for games and stuff like that.

It's good to have fun with it and enjoy the creative process for its own sake, people get too caught up in the results sometimes.
>>38100192
>tfw

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In a similar position
>talking to a girl
>"flirting" she's progressively showing cleavage (we were on snapchat)
>we agree to hangout the next day
>exchange numbers and tell her to call me when she's home
>no call
>I call her later that night but she doesn't answer
>still no word
Why does this happen? If she isn't interested then why would she give me her number and agree to hangout? It's so confusing and it hurts because I started to care for her and I thought she was the one, but I guess not

>>38098602
The part about people not caring about your problems. The people who care about your problems, give you advice or comfort you, those are the ones that stay around. Also, dont force yourself to be likable to everyone, you're just gonna attract people who wanna take advantage of you.

>>38100249
Ahhhh I know this fucking feeling

> talk to a girl
> want to be friends
> she's the one to initiate love stuff
> she's the one that tells you about wanting to have a relationship with you
> says she'd drop everything to come to you if only she had the funds
> give her the ability to do it, funds are not a problem. Living conditions would be provided while she's here
> she instantly bails and starts avoiding you

Why? Why do this? I'd be more than fine with friendship. Why give the hope and then crush it?

>>38098242
any online ''friend'' that talks to you about their irl problems is a faggot and you should ghost him.

>>38100395
I'd ghost you bby anyday

>>38100204
not that anon but I sent you a message. Are you still around, by any chance?

>>38101282
Yeah, was away for a bit. I replied to it