Suicide Thread

>>38026286
Not necessarily the end of the year, but my mom has terminal cancer so I'm gonna end it when she dies. I've already bought a shotgun.

bump for morbid ramblings.

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>>38026286
A year is a long time, folks. There's a lot of time for the world to change by then, or for you yourself to make a change. Think about it.

>>38026286
I often consider suicide desu.
Sometimes after a long day I take my belt off as soon as I walk in from work. I loop it with care, place the other end between the door and doorframe.

I close the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.

probably gonna be called a fag but id like to have the option to set a date and fall over dead on it. i have a double barrel shotgun and bought some 9pellet 00 buck shells from walmart but ive never shot one before excpet for one time in middle school when i gtook the shot out of one and hit it with a nail and now desu even though id like to fall over dead the thought of my head exploding and how loud it will be scares me and the possibility of pulling the trigger and laying alive for a few seconds scares me too or someone being able to keep me alive since my neighborhood has an ambulance station.

i probably have no rason to dislike life but i dont care for my parents much even though they let me live with them and feed me they just have nasty beliefs like theyre like "what ever you do dont bring home a girl who isnt white your father would disown you and never talk to you again" and they even belive god rides in a ufo and whites are the real Israelites and the jews who go to temple are offspring from satan doing eve and think that some jews or as they say "kenites" bake christian kids blood into mahtzo bread. they also dont at pork lol. even though they dont talk about it much it still pisses me off and most everyone around here would have something nasty to say about having a wife that isnt white. also moving ut isnt that easy when you work at a family job

sorry to rant

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Some days I pretty seriously consider it.
Life just feels so futile. Nothing we can possibly do will change the outcome - you'll end up dead at some point. Part of me wants to just get it over with and stop procrastinating, but the rest of me can't completely separate from my emotions. I couldn't possibly kill myself and leave my family to deal with the grief. They still love me, for reasons unknown to me.

I'm not necessarily suicidal out of depression like most, but just because I've realized how pointless living really is.

I still enjoy life. I enjoy socializing to some degree. I enjoy my hobbies.
It's just hard to put any real importance on any of it.

>>38026286
It's usually a daily thought for me. In fact, I can't think of a day when I didn't think about it. I have two methods I would do; gun shot or climbing a mountain and freezing to death.

I think I'm going to hold out until my birthday in January, and see if society collapses by then. If not, I'll probably die soon after.

>>38026840
do you think that there is a possibility that we could happen again somehow? i know how you feel about being futile and i feel the same way and hope this is all there is because living after some how would be hell.

are you not scared to kill yourself? the thought of shooting myself when i have it in my mouth even unloaded makes me realize that im scared of what it will be like

>>38026872
what kind of gun? would a shotgun to the fore head or in the mouth at 45 degrees probably do the trick? do you think youd even hear it go off and feel it happen? thats what scares me and the possiblity of an ambulance keeping you alive

>>38026911
I'm scared of dying outside of my control mostly. If I'm going to go, I want to see it coming.
I am also definitely scared of the aftermath, which is another reason I'm still here.

>>38026938
Plenty of failed suicide attempts end in brain damage, disfigurement, etc.

Imagine being exactly as you are now, but with no face, paralyzed and in diapers with just enough awareness to know what you've done and how much better your life used to be.

Not worth it.

>>38026938
I have multiple guns, but I would use either the .44 mag or 12Gauge. For either, yes, the barrel would be pointed at the roof of my mouth. I don't think I would feel anything if I hit it right, and sound wouldn't matter because I would die.

If they kept me alive, it would be to torture me with continued existence and I would continue suicide attempts. I wouldn't want to imagine what I would look like after taking either of those to the head.

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>>38026286
I have no reason to live. I've come to recognize that humanity has no ultimate purpose to exist. That means,no matter how hard i try to lookand fill this void in life it'll never be done. I'm fucking miserable because i can find no significance in anything in life. The truth is I'm already dead inside. I live in this monotonous, grey existence where I observe the outside world, clinging to every little thing they have trying to find some meaning for their life only for me to realize its all in vain. It probably isn't healthy to be 21 and hoping every day that i die in my sleep or on my way to work, or that the drugs and alcohol finally give me enough courage to put a bullet in my skull. The truth is, i dont fucking know how to be happy.
I wish i was never born.
I wish i was already dead.

>>38027008
What is worth it, normo friend? I really want to know what is worth not even attempting to get out of this hell

>>38027009
is it a bad idea to use a side by side 12 gauge with 9 pellet 00 buck? especially if youve never shot one before? and even if your aim wasnt perfect what do you think it would feel like of course aimed back at the brain, think you would feel your head expand?

im not suicidal and wouldnt be ballsy enough i just like to know though

>>38027027
He meant it's not a good way to commit suicide, there's a high possibility that you'll end up paralyzed under 24 hour monitoring and you'll have still be in the same situation you are now except you'll never be able to commit suicide again and you'll have to wait like 70 years until you pass away naturally.

>>38026373
Why not kill some mudslimes or niggers instead. See if it feels any better. I promise you. Nothing makes man happier than collateral damage.

>>38026938
Unless the ambulance is right beside you when you shot yourself, shotgun to the head is one of the quickest ways to go
http://lostallhope.com/suicide-methods/statistics-most-lethal-methods

>>38027167
do you think youd feel it or hear it or would you probably be dead by then

>>38027112
Bad Idea? no, I wouldn't say. Double barrel costs too much, a simple single shot would work. Double barrels don't shoot both at once. 00 would be good, or a slug.

I can't imagine the pain, and you probably wouldn't feel anything at first. You'd probably go right into shock or something. However, to avoid being resuscitated, I would just go to the woods or something and bleed out if I have to

>>38026286
i think about it on and off and have thought about it since i was 16 (21 now)
my daily life is fine but its just a fucking slog and i dont see it getting any better. i feel like if i get drunk enough and had a shotgun laying around i'd do it, but every time i start to plan it out and think about going to the store to buy what i need it gets a little weird for me

>>38027115
You realise that shotguns have like a 95 percent kill rate among suicides? Pretty much the highest, if not thee. I'd risk it, but make it sure safe by going FAR away from any populated place and actively hide my body from sight, then shoot.

>>38027217
i was meaning i have a side by side and it has two triggers and dry firing it thy can go at the same time

also if you live in a subdivision with an ambulance station as a neighbor would it be a risky thing to do it in your backyard?

i know it may sound like im going to but im really not, sounds stupid but even though im scared of trying it i like to know its an option

>>38027211
you would probably feel the shot but wouldn't feel any pain afterwards idk if that makes any sense that's just how I see it

>>38027211
I figure you'd register a force for a brief second and feel the force on your ears

>>38027285
Oh, my bad. But yeah, double barrel or not won't matter. I would get as far away as possible before attempting, or barricade yourself in your room/apartment.

I've been practicing dry firing my guns against the roof of my mouth for a bit now. When the day comes, I should be able to do it.

I wish I could easily stab my own heart or something, but ribs and sternum are hard. I'm Ausfag so guns would be a lot of effort, but even if I had easy access I don't like the idea of having your face blown off, that'd be kind of shocking to friends/family. I think the least you can do is preserve your face so they can at least look at you.
I'm not actually planning my suicide, but right now it feels like an inevitability some time in the future.

>>38027369
one more thing then would 9 pellet buck be good enough and do you think that even if you didnt hit dead on the brain somehow someway, youd still die and probably be unconscious after pulling the trigger?

>>38026286
> mental health is deteriorating quickly - anger problems are getting worse, and my stuttering is getting worse
> mom is mentally ill and showing signs of early onset dementia
> dog I had for 8 years killed by drunk driver
> manic pixie oneitis is dating a nigger and now acts like one
> can't enjoy previous hobbies (vidya games, art, etc.) due to minor brain damage from a previous failed attempt
> can't get a car/license due to the above, therefore I can't do anything
> physical health is deteriorating - horrible dental health. breath constantly smells, can't be close to people

>>38026286
Does anyone else not think they deserve to live

>>38027423
Yeah, 00 or a slug, but honestly, probably the 00. The distance between the muzzle, your brain, and the skull wouldn't be enough for the 00 to really open up that much, but it should still cover more ground than a slug. If you somehow fuck it up, you will bleed and either be picked up by an ambulance to live a life with a fucked up face and probably brain damage or you will bleed out, if you secure your location

>>38027506
No, I just don't think I was meant to live. I obviously lack whatever it is the vast majority of people (normies) have that keeps them going. Deserve is one of those words I don't like to use, much like "need"

>>38026748
Its fine everyone needs to vent from time to time. As for the shotgun method, its the quickest and most reliable method of suicide so you're in luck - the pellets will turn your brain to mush before you even hear the shot. Although to maximize effectiveness you'd want to aim for the forehead and push your head against the barrel to prevent the shot from being less deadly in case you flinch.

I got all this from lostallhope in case you want to check it out. It can help with proper suicide techniques so you don't fuck up. Either way good luck and I'm sorry you got stuck with a whack family

>>38027641
thanks man, im not gonna kms but i just like the thought of "hey i know a painless way out" and thanks for reply i appreciate it

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I hung myself last thursday in a wooded trail at a local park. My vision was just starting to blur and blackness was creeping from the sides of my eyes when a random police car checking for teenagers drinking (usa) patrolled the area and shined a light right where I was so I bolted. Now am contemplating trying again in the next few days since my courage was interrupted. Either that or check myself into the hospital OR pretend that it never happened.

Feel free to ask more details.

>>38027746
damn man i wouldnt have the balls to try hanging myself so youre more of a man than me

what kinda cig did you smoke before hand? i like filterless camels. i went to disneyworld with my mom and theres like no where to smoke there. apparently you can get fined 250 for smoking on the balcony and my mom started griping at me so i didnt smoke anymore there

seriously though id suggest not hanging yourself because i know it has to be painful ws it?

>>38027856

everyone has their preferences in how they want to kill themselves. personally, i like hanging because its really easy to do. would never want to OD , drown myself or jump off a building for example.

i like how you knew i was smoking cigs beforehand, i suppose its cliche but it felt good to have a few final smokes. I had marlboro southern cuts, would recommend.

it wasn't that painful, i did a partial suspension so feet weren't off the ground (that'd hurt a lot more i figure). don't get me wrong, it was not comfortable at all but wasn't excruciating.

i was finally ready in that moment. truly calm. and the fucking random patrol car stole it from me.

>>38027925
i hope you dont do it, sounds stupid but id hate to know a bro put himself through that. wish you the best.

how much do you smoke? i smoke a few a day, i dont believe its as bad as people make it out to be. The general air quality that is in most peoples homes isnt even that good. I work around diesel trucks and in winter theyll run them some indoors and that has to be not good for you but no one cares. And changeing brakes you have a black inner nose afterwards so a little smoke isnt a big deal imo

occasionally though i can get an itch in my throat so ill just chew

> be me 19, depressed since 14
> heavy drinker since 16
> somehow smart at math
> have a gf that's pretty and funny
> only female friends (about 5)
> decide to kill myself on my birthday of this summer if I'm happy

>>38028050

thanks i guess. my mother recently asked me if i could find a medication to change something about me (i'm bipolar) what would it change and i said "to make me care again". but i really don't want more god damn medication.

i quit for 3 months and just started since i tried hanging myself. obviously i didn't give a fuck about my health at that point so now i'm back on the habit. usually smoke 3-5 a day but last night i smoked like 11. never chewed before but i met these norwegians who gave me a snus pouch and that was pretty good.

>>38026748
I'm so envious. Americans have it so easy. You just buy a gun and a couple of bullets and no one blinks an eye.

>>38027211
No, bullets (2500 feet per second) travel at about twice the speed of sound (1125 feet per second) and nearly ten times the speed of your nerve impulses (330 feet per second, but it varies depending on which nerves). So you wouldn't feel a thing before your brain was eviscerated. The only thing to look out for is reacting to your finger pulling the trigger, if you instinctively flinch the bullets might be less precise

>>38028405
i just was thinking like what would a hole do anyways i didnt see how it would stop your brin t first but i guess it causes trauma

I don't know if Im ready yet. I've been planning for years but I don't have the balls to do it. I just think of what my family would do if i'd do it. I sometimes feel happy but that's just temporary. I can't have a relationship because I feel like the other person is fading away even thought they love me 100%. I really wish I was ready. I fucking hate life.

>>38026748
your parents are pretty based ahahahhah

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>>38026286
>too poor to afford a painless method
>too pussy to endure a cheap method

Fuck this

I couldn't

Even though I feel depressed as fuck I simply can't justify wasting such an opportunity

The fact I even exist is fucking phenomenal, thinking about how I can use my fingers to put my thoughts out and display other people's thoughts right in front of me whenever I want on demand is just crazy.

I think something and my skeleton inside me can move to then communicate around the world instantly, how can this be anything short of a miracle.

There's little kids in India living off rice covered in flies while sitting in mud huts using rags for clothes. They'll probably die before they even get to be as happy as I am right now surrounded by anything I want on demand.


I can literally just get anything I want (within obvious reason), apart from another human life or things you can't buy like human relations.

You get nothing when you die. The second it ends for you everything you ever knew is deleted, life is temporary. It's a solo mission as depressing as it sounds, you're not even actually feeling anything from other people, your brain is just telling you that you are.

The balance of the world has somehow reached a point where I was created into a civilization where I'm the largest Predator and we have fucking space satellites sending my thoughts through a fucking plastic brick metal brick thing with lightning or whatever the fuck sending electricity around to other people.

Idk what the fuck your problems are but they can't possibly outweigh how beautiful life is.

>>38026286
I will commit suicide when all and I mean ALL hope is lost, for example if I end up in a dead end job and there's no way to go back, with no gf or nothing I will kill myself because I failed at life and I don't care about life at all, I know how deep and cool existing is but seriously I now feel like I'm here to accomplish what I can and want otherwise there's no point, we all die in the end

>>38028579
If I'm planning to kill myself for realz I would sell everything and try to get the painless peaceful method, I don't like the whole bloody thing

>>38026373
>>38026748
>>38026840
>>38026872
>>38027018
>>38027369
>>38027418
>>38027488
>>38027589
>>38027746
>>38027686
>>38028176

Listen robots, if i said it gets better tommorrow or even next week i would be lying. But you will edventually move out and away. You will leave the negative places and sights and people that constantly reminded you of past tramuas.
I know how it all feels. I put a 12 ga in my mouth and pulled the trigger, but I put the shotgun in the wrong barrel (double barrel) and I cried myself to sleep.

If your not going to wait, atleast think of what I did and think of your mammas eyes seeing you gone, think of her watching your casket going down into that deep dirty hole in the ground.

>>38028899
nah man im not gonna i just like thinking theres an instant way to go

would a 12 gauge with buckshot explode your head especially if it was both barrels?

Life is so boring.
There's no real liberty of action
I think I'll buy this helium tank and kill myself at New Year's Eve

Botched circumcision with absolutely 0 feeling in my dick. I'm visiting Dr. Shekelstein's house before I go.

>>38026938
>probably
12ga will explode your fucking head. Every single failed attempt was from them using a bad angle. If you put or angle the barrel to your soft palate it is 100% unsurvivable. You'll be gone before your body can even register that it's been shot.

Not this year but there is no other way I will go out unless i get hit hit by a bus or something.

>>38029722
what about to the hard pallate? id want to make sure that the brain is fucked bot just the top of the spinal collum

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>>38026286
Probably gonna hang myself near this creek. This world just isn't meant for me.

I wish I could save you all, but I can't.

>>38030168
I'm socially awkward, I have a slight stammer, no job, no friends, not even a fucking girlfriend.
What am I exactly benefiting in? It's just pure agony.

>>38026286
Just got done self harming 30 minutes ago. anyone ever just slash their wrists, I take blood thinners. I'm thinking hard liquor, a good song or something a nice dinner then I just zip the razor down my for arm. I might do it soon if shit doesn't change. I feel like I have no soul these days and really don't care who suffers from my death, they should have cared more.

>>38028176
>Has a gf
>Suicidal
Fuck you.

whoever wants to help somebody on the east coast...

well

i have 2500$ but where i live (east coast canada) getting a gun is nearly impossible. black markets are too heavily regulated by socialist police state

I want to go chill with an american suicidal anon, and blow through 2500$ doing anything we fucking want, eating what we want, hookers to finally lose my virginity

all i ask in return is that you supply a gun and ammo so i can shoot myself afterwards. fuck, il give u cash so we can get a nice remington to blow our brains out. ill go first tho if u wanna keep the remaining cash
pls

add me on discord
i want out of this mortal coil

noodles#0553

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Guys
You'll be ok
Seriously

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>>38030944
fuck you leatherman

I have peyronies disease and testicular cancer in my right fucking nutsack

fuck
you
to
hell

This is the thread to ask.

Have there ever been any families where 2 or more siblings have killed themselves? I mean, obviously, there have been, but I was just wondering how that would weigh on the mind of the parents. Would they agree that they've fucked up majorly in raising them?

>>38030944
t. bluebill

>>38031065
In a few years my mother might experience that. My older sister is a complete failure and my life went downhill since Dec last year.
Poor woman, doesn't deserve such pain. Guess I'll wait for her to die so I can go right after.

>>38026286
Eh, suicide seems like such a bullshit answer to whatever problem you have. Do I think about how cool it would be to never have existed? Yeah, obviously. Yet, I can't quite convince myself that suicide is the way. If there's an alternative to make your life bette , which there almost always is, than suicide is a stupid meme to fall for. Plus, someone has to find you and clean you up and bury you.
I guess the only time I would ever kill myself is if I had ABSOLUTELY no one in my life that cared about me or that I cared about. It faggot tier shit to say that other people matter I guess, but I love my parents a lot and they don't deserve to carry whatever mental pain I'm to much of a pussy to carry myself.
Plus, I'm afraid of fucking up and being brain dead or retarded. So toil in life I guess.

>>38030900
Which state I'm in new Hampshire
Oregano might I say

I'm a 5'6" babyfaced manlet, and I've been disrespected/not taken seriously for pretty much my whole life. Women treat me like a cute little kid, and not a potential partner. I have zero sex appeal. I finally got my first gf earlier this year (I'm 21), and she ended up coming out of the closet as a lesbian and leaving me. She told me that she would close her eyes and pretend that I was a girl, during the sex. No one has ever wanted me, and no one ever will.

I am going to college right now to become a teacher, but I am totally dissatisfied with my work. My grades have gotten worse, due to my depression. I'm not going to enjoy my life. I will never find a woman who wants to be with me. I have all of these dreams about getting my teacher's certification and going to places like Japan or Korea to teach English. I'm probably too autistic and not resourceful/confident enough to ever do anything interesting like that. I've thought about dropping out of college and joining the Air Force or something, to get a set of balls and a better work ethic, but I don't think that anything can fix me at this point. Fuck my life. I will die alone. I need to end my life prematurely before its inevitably sad conclusion.

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>>38028899
>tfw you desire to commit sucide comes from existential angst rather than emotional problems
I'm not going to commit suicide any time soon but i think about it constantly and i don't see that changing in the future. I've pretty much decided that as soon as I see signs of me not being able to take care of myself anymore I'm just going to end it all. If i haven't already from finding life pointless.