Well, I got this night off and I will ask any quesitons you have about bouncing and stories. Please be patient with my responses my computer is garbage
Thanks!
>>37941122
Are you Gabe?
>>37941153
Nope!.
I believe you mean gabe newell?
I don't think you need a tripcode to answer people's questions
>>37941122
what kind of things do you bounce on?
was there a flood of people in your ranks back when nokia phones were shipped with the game of a similar name?
Which type of person is the most aggressive? Is it the one we least suspect?
>>37941122
I'm 5'7 130 lbs and have little dog complex where I get hostile around bigger dudes if I do this to you then try to understand and don't break my arm.
>>37941165
Its only for this thread and I will never use it again!
>>37941175
Lol, just at a multidude of Clubs. Mainly dance clubs, country and pubs
>>37941184
Its usually small young men with ugly girlfriends. Theyre insecure around others and try to prove themselves to their gf. Usually the bad looking men are chill and funny to talk to. Aslo some of the worst are small drunk females
How do you have the patience to deal with drunk people wanting to pick fights? shit sounds like it would wear you down after a while.
>>37941122
how do i get in when they are ignoring me hoping ill go away?
is there anything i can do?
>>37941198
No worries, im 6'4 275 but the toughest bouncer I ever worked with was 5'6 and he would knock out guys like me in a second and keep going. I dont mind man but usually bouncers are sized up by all people but if youre cool 99% we will love you and vouch for you
>>37941238
Either youre to drunk, or there is to much dudes in the club and not enough females, or perhaps you dressing down.
>>37941230
Usually you buddy them up and chat them like theyre your best friends and try to divert them. If shit does go down there is like 6 of us to break it up and a couple guys to create a path outside to throw them out
>>37941163
No, I just meant to ask if your name was Gabe.
>>37941230
Also to have the patience it just comes naturally, you become more confident and somewhat enjoy making peoples night better and preventing two people fighting over nothing
>>37941299
Oh lol, nope its John
>>37941122
bump
ggeg3
>>37941302
that made me think, best of luck to you John
>>37941524
you to friend, just if youre in a bar even when youre smash drunk and having problems go to a bouncer and just ask truthfully and honestly and 99% they will help you and get the other guy or problems out
>>37941122
How did you get your job?
Did your friends own the bar? or did they put a sign outside that said now hiring bouncers
Also have you ever played that FF8 spinoff, The Bouncer?
>>37941632
>How did you get your job?
Just walking around the bar area and asking if they needed bouncers
>Did your friends own the bar? or did they put a sign outside that said now hiring bouncers
see above, i guess they liked me
>Also have you ever played that FF8 spinoff, The Bouncer?
No i havent, what is it like?
If I suck your dick, would you let me go inside as vip?
>>37941689
Nope, I have women say that and show me their breasts for "favors" but its not worth it. I have a duty to treat each customer fairly and make sure the bar is run correctly so I cant abandoned my principles and duty to the owner
>>37941718
you sound so fucking cucked that it's not even funny
>>37941122
I am thinking of applying for a bouncer job.
My stats:
6'0
275lbs
3 years of Muay Thai, never competed but sparred.
Are my stats enough to intimidate a normal man or roastie to do as I tell them.
Whats the typical height of bouncers? Will they hire me for my height ( fraudable? ex telling them im 6'2 when boots)
How often do fights break out? What types of fights usually happen weekly? ex. Weapons; guns and knives, groups, typical drunken brawl?
Do women usually like bouncers?
Whats a typical night?
(will ask more later, thanks)
>>37941805
If you say it that way, but you need to realize that getting sucked off beside a grubby dumpster by some 27 year old bimbo is not worth loosing your principles and job because you wanted to get your rocks off. You could come in and do it off the job too
What would you do if someone refuses to shake your hand?
Do you prefer a pogo stick or a trampoline? Or are you a inflatable castle man?
>>37941838
it's not about not fucking the girls, just you sounding like a cucked slave samurai taking it in the ass from his jew master
>I have a duty to treat each customer fairly and make sure the bar is run correctly so I cant abandoned my principles and duty to the owner
>>37941815
Your stats are fine, once again the toughest bouncer ive ever met and one of the toughest men ive ever met was 5'6 140 and knock my ass out at 6'4 275.
At my bar typical height is 6'4, some are 5'11 and some are 6'11 450.
The thing is not being able to intimitated (although it helps) its the ability to socalize and talk to people and descilate the situation without violence.
The fights maybe once a weekend, ive had some when its 10 times a night. Most fights happen at the door, inside not so much. Most are just idiots punching sometimes bottles
Yes women love bouncers, im a college student and they make us wear tight black shirts and they come up to flirt, dance or kiss you but you can entertain them if you want but do your job first this is important some guys get so worked into the women they forget the guys dealing coke beside them or the women getting gropped.
Typical night is just in certain spots in the club switching every 30 minutes looking over with the occasional checkup on weird people at kicking out people. A tip when you kick out people be nice but firm, if not they will just take the piss out of you
>>37941908
Yeah aint nothing bad about treating a customer with respect, the bars only as good as its reputation and we dont want bums around here
>>37941845
Shake that motherfuckers hand
>>37941880
trampoline with soap on it while bbqing
>>37941908
dude is just passionate about his job lol lighten up. for some people,work is actually fun
>>37941805
He's a cuck because he doesn't want herpes from loose whore? What world do you live in?
In your opinion, what kind of guy at a club is most likely to actually get laid? Is there a common theme or is it pretty random?
Do you see any interesting things happen, people having interesting nights, drama etc? Care to share any stories?
are gay clubs any worse/better/different than straight clubs?
Do you work with any Bosnian War Veterans?
Do you ever tell them that they need their teeth brushed with your Colgate FreshFist?
>>37941956
>In your opinion, what kind of guy at a club is most likely to actually get laid? Is there a common theme or is it pretty random?
most likely they come in couples so its just couples dancing, but reality is the confident guy who just goes for it. Ive seen jacked motherfuckers get shot down and later seen the girls making out with some neckbeard who looks like boogie (although alcohol does help). Its about how you present yourself, being this macho idiot or shy passive doormat doesent help either. Looks are a big thing but not as big as character and confidence
>Do you see any interesting things happen, people having interesting nights, drama etc? Care to share any stories?
Ive seen a womens period plop out and it was like a piece of beef smack the floor, ive had guys try to deal me coke when they know im the bouncer and laugh at them
Sometimes guys challange me to a fight so i walk them out back with them leaving the door first and just slam it on them
>are gay clubs any worse/better/different than straight clubs?
Havent been to a gauy club but theres people that say because its mostly gay men theres less fighting and competition towards women
>>37942016
Yeah sometimes, they often ask for wippings and promote BDSM lifestyles with buffet breaks
>>37941908
oh wow kid, did you really take the memes seriously?
>>37942042
>Ive seen a womens period plop out and it was like a piece of beef smack the floor
oh my god that's disgusting lol
>>37942121
ive also seen some fatties in the bathroom fucking, was scaring
>fat small dude runs into the bathroom with his fatter gf
>I follow in with a few other bouncer
>I pry open the stall with a mop
>hes on the bottom of the seat while shes on the top bouncing with him and her tampon is hanging out, both sweating like apes and drooling
>It smelt of the stinkiest ass gravy, taint and cum you could imagine
>I start poking her stomach with the mop handel and tell them to gtfo or i call the cops
>they run out and i never see them again
Holy shit this thread took a turn
>>37942183
>>I start poking her stomach with the mop handel and tell them to gtfo or i call the cops
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujPKPdyuNNg
>>37942244
Another time
>two petite gitls 5'1 and 5'3 fighting and rolling on the floor
>i dont feel like bending down and grabbing them, getting a fake nail in the eye
>grab someones pitcher of drink
>slowly pour it on the tangled mess of female rolling on the group
>they stop fighting and get up and look at me like i killed the blessed virgin mary
>i smile and ask them to leave
>suprisingly they leave and call me a dumb meathead and say that my mother is proud of me all the while everyone including the dj is laughing at them
i'm like 6'5 245 pounds never been in a fight. can i do this? i've been the doorman at 2 venues before
Have you been puked on? If so accidental or intentional?
>>37942244
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSJQEl5vcAo
>>37942387
>>37942387
Yeah of course size helps, but its about attitude and the ability to talk to people and create a good environment. But if shit goes down your size should help. But it depends on the club and area too
>>37942392
Ya once, some guy was wobbling sitting down and way too drunk so i brought over the garbage can and said hey man take a minute and wait and puke, cause i know you need to. So he shot up at like 1000 mph and barfed on my jeans and shoes. I was pissed but asked another bouncer to walk him out and call him a cab while i went home changed and came back
are you muscle or just fat?
>>37942477
i would say mostly musle, I mean my stomach is nothing but its not a pot belly but flat . I have a 36 inch waist and get called the hulk by girls.
Good read, OP. But wondering why you're on r9k. A bouncer seems like the ultimate chad. Do you hate all roasties?
Do you see a lot of guys getting cucked into buying drinks for roasties, who immediately start ignoring them when the drink meets their hand?
>>37942656
>Good read, OP. But wondering why you're on r9k
I feel some robots have a curiosity towards the "Chad" zones, plus i enjoying talking about the misconceptions.
>Do i hate all roasties,
yeah i do, there are some good women but they have been trained well by their husbands, and fathers and dont do this stuff.
Yeah ive seen professional athletes, rich guys and other high quality men get girls drinks and the girls fuck off, sometimes I feel bad for the guys and tell them they shouldent buy these girls a drink before and theyre getting played big time, sometimes they listen most times they dont. I try to encourage men too, that may not have the most like with women and come up to me and say wow bro youre huge and you have a beard how much do you fuck, i try to encourage them about before being a good ladies man you must be a good man and change and hapiness can only come from within, so i tell them to quit coming to clubs, workout and have a proper diet and save financially because these women are not worth it
Do you ever have to save the DJ or Bartenders from being harassed?
Havent been to a club in years but what is the best drink for the money (i know its all expensive to begin with).
>>37942893
>Dj
No hes a big motherfucker and was exmilitary and does kickboxing, sometimes hes helped us kick out dudes if hes bored lol
>Bartenders,
Sometimes people will be rude so i come behind them and polietly ask them to stop yelling and wait their turn, if they continue to disrespect the staff they will be kicked out
>barbacks (little guys who go around collecting bottles and empty jugs)
They get pushed around and teased mostly by roasties so, whenever a roastie hasssles one of my friends, i go to their table and ask them to leave or i will carry them out over my shoulder
Best drink to buy i probably go drink at home before you come and get a good buzz, and buy whatever the special is that night
>>37942949
>barbacks (little guys who go around collecting bottles and empty jugs)
>They get pushed around and teased mostly by roasties so, whenever a roastie hasssles one of my friends, i go to their table and ask them to leave or i will carry them out over my shoulder
People are just trying to do their job and these smug fucks go off on them ugh.
Christ, its like they never outgrew their highschool days of being an asshole.
>Best drink to buy i probably go drink at home before you come and get a good buzz, and buy whatever the special is that night
Yeah sounds best. One of the last times I went I only had a few beers and I realized how damn fast you burn through money.
>>37943155
>People are just trying to do their job and these smug fucks go off on them ugh.
Drives me wild, at least we can be cunts as bouncers but the barbacks do nothing wrong just cleanup and shimmy around the club cleaning and people pick on them. I get so mad at the people. So roastie was pulling on their hair like he was a creature or some pet for the amusment and i came behind her and grabed her wrist stood her up and told her, her night is over. Walked her out
Yeah you spend money fast, a good tip is to bring cash buy 3 drinks and tip a couple bucks on them
what are common bouncer hobbies?
what time you sleep in the morning?
>>37943236
Common, weightlifting, cars and pussy. I only have weightlifting, gardening, poetry, mountain climbing and reading about snakes
I got to bed at 4 on weekends, the rest of the week im at university
got any funny couple stories?
>>37943307
see>>37942183
ive seen couples melt down and i just laugh because i dont wanna play relationship superman with drunk people so i tell them to leave and take their drama outside or i walk themout
Aren't you worried about getting shot or murdered?
>>37941122
Tell us stories about Stacies.
>>37943268
Do you consider yourself a chad?
What are your opinions on the division between chad and robots?
Do you believe it to be a meme or you agree that some people are just cursed to be alone and unliked forever?
>>37943346
nah, we have good doormen and people that want to fight bouncers are usually pussies, but neverunderestimate them so you gotta be on guard,
>>37943365
Imagine your average stacy but really drunk and you get to tell her to smarten up, ites weird i tell her she cant do shit like bring the pool cue on the dance floor and grab it from her and she later tries to grind on me and hit on me, or the time some chick came from behind and grabbed me neck and i turned around and she went in for the kiss and i shoved her about 5 feet and she flew like a frisbee and hit the ground hard, it was just reaction to being taken from behind
>>37943415
I dont know, I bounce play college football and am 6'4 in america and have a good frame
I cant say on the perspective of "lower" people because ive never been their and its foolish to motivate others and give them bullshit advice, but for being alone I certainly think its harder due to the sexual revolution and hypergemous nature that is existing today with the feminization of boy into being nice to females. I dont believe to be alone and unliked but it is much harder for them, but out of it they can develop a love for a sissyphyssian struggle of life
>>37941912
>Your stats are fine, once again the toughest bouncer ive ever met and one of the toughest men ive ever met was 5'6 140 and knock my ass out at 6'4 275.
Those little fuckers are brutal, man. They'll tear you to shreds.
>>37943740
Man ive seen him knock out 4 guys my size in about 15 seconds and walk back to me and tell me joke, I swear on this it was the greatest and scariest thing ive ever seen. He was just so fast and quick
>>37943740
>Those little fuckers are brutal, man. They'll tear you to shreds.
One of the only fights Ive ever witnessed was my friend who was probably only 5ft9in who took on someone who was way taller; he punched him in the head three consecutive times and the third was so hard and fast the dudes head ricochetd off the side of the truck he was standing next to.
It was unreal
Fuck off, tripfagget
>>37941122
Have you ever sucked a guys cock to calm him down after he was making a scene and trying to cause fights?
>>37941153
Didn't know anyone on /r9k/ would know of Gabriel Morton.
>>37941912
>450lb
Sure you didn't mean 350 absolute max? This is what 450 looks like