Psychological Support

Evening Medman

I need these threads. Letting it out and venting is something I haven't don't in a while and is therapeutic for me

>>37935002
Hello Facet.
Just got off of FaceTime with the female.
What's going on with you

I can see the sense to that, sure. I had a bit of an up and down myself. I felt on top of the world for 2-3 hours. Then I felt a real resentment for anyone else being around and was desperate to drink. It was, at one point extremely hard to resist. It would have felt better to cut, and I came close but resisted. I should point out that I haven't been a cutter since my teens. Still, that compulsion was there.

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>tfw failing my classes
>tfw mostly apathetic, slightly amused

ayy lmao

>>37935053
Was that as part of the bipolar disorder? In my limited knowledge I thought the up and down ranged over a few days and not hours?
Sorry to hear about the cutting. I've done it myself when I was at a low but didn't get satisfaction from it. Is it the pain that makes you feel better? Where did you used to cut, if you don't mind me asking these

im in a weird place right now. been shitting blood for a while and waiting for doctors appointments.
googling to learn about butt stuff is a really exhilarating experience. my emotional response switches between laughing and butt stuff and severe anxiety thinking im as good as dead.

also been missing these threads, good on you Medman for starting them lately

>>37935190
I don't have bipolar, but I likely do have BPD. That has some crossover; you're correct about bipolar cycles. BPD is much, much more rapid with a turn-around of between a few hours and at the maximum, a few days. That's not all that's amiss with me, but when it comes to mood that's the gist. It's also far more interpersonally focused. In this case it was more or less a pinpoint hatred for the person I love. I feel fine now, and I'm happy she's here.

As for cutting, it was mostly more forearms (though a certain event meant that one arm was off limits beyond 18) and earlier than that it was all over my shoulders (for interpersonal reasons). It's a distraction but I like the idea of defacement; the same sort of satisfaction you might get from scribbling on a test paper. Plus, the pain itself is distracting. It pretty much always follows that whatever I'm feeling is far more painful than physical pain so cutting provides a focus. Because I decided to stop with that, when things get bad I tend to just smash my head into walls now.

>>37935053
How are you feeling currently? What did you get out of cutting? Honestly, I've only ever done it for attention or in very half-hearted suicide attempts, but I have burned myself for the sheer pleasure of it. I find the sensation of slicing my own flesh unnerving, but burns are interesting.

>>37935519
Answered my questions, I suppose.

How are you my fellow anons.
Recently I've been discovering that the way I was raised was not normal at all and my mom was pretty much abusuve towards me. I don't remember much of my childhood desu but I do remember frequently thinking how I couldn't wait to get out my house or grow up.
How have you anons dealt with childhood abuse as adults?

>>37935529
>>37935559
Hi meta. As you can see, I'm tippity top. You?

>>37935571
That's a difficult question to answer. I can only say that putting distance between me and my parents has helped, trying to put plans and systems of control in place, and therapy have been the best answers I've come up with.

>>37935519
Not sure why you had bipolar, seems I was left with the wrong impression. These cycles are known to me with substance usage all too well. You ever thought about taking some form of speed so you can keep feeling good and not crash? Don't get me wrong I'm not reccomending it, the cycle is terrible. It's good that she's still there Facet.
Funny, I used to cut on my shoulder as well. As for the head smashing - would you say that's mostly in the momment type of release or do you spesifically seclude yourself to do it?

I can somewhat relate to that as I hit my head with my fist whenever I do something stupid or have regrets, I try to be alone when I do it though but it's mostly in the momment.

>>37935685
I'm drinking malt liquor, listening to this silly sensationalistic Hollywood conspiracy documentary, lamenting missed opportunities, and feeling sorry for myself. I feel pretty tired of being this person with these same thoughts swirling around in my head again and again. Nothing much to fucking do about it but embrace all that acceptance shit.

>>37935518
That sounds really bad. Something diet related? Drugs or somehin? If there is no trigger you can think of Id really be concerned.
>good on you Medman for starting these them lately
Thanks, I'm also in a bad place and a rollar coaster and a bit desperate. Letting it out helps.

>>37935772
Certainly it's in the moment; when what I call 'psychic noise' gets too intense. I've taken speed during university when I've had university deadlines. There was a horrendous crash but imo it was worth it.

>>37935794
There probably is an alternative. Let me know if you find it.

>>37934985
i've been depressed ever since the girl of my dreams harshly rejected me what do

>>37935831
i am really concerned, but it's probably nothing serious at all. intellectually im like 95% sure it's nothing to worry about. especially after my extensive researches and the fact that they keep me waiting for so long between appointments.
but when i worry about my health i cant suffer the loneliness, so i tend to get stuck on it.

where's your roller coaster taking you?

where is nick? the threads are not the same without him desu

>>37934985
I'm schizophrenic, but I've been having issues with possibly being a transfag. How do I tell if this is delusions or genuine feelings of dysphoria?

>>37935976
Take it from someone who's dated a schizophrenic who believed for years that she was trans but snapped out of it, it's probably the schitz talking.

>>37936031
I get that, but there's been certain signs my whole life that predate the onset of my schizophrenia. That's where my confusion comes from.

>>37936064
That's what she said as well.

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I'm circumsised and restoring my foreskin will likely take over a year, feels bad man.

>>37936146
This is something for which you must never forgive your parents.

>>37935915
Text her and call her and spill your spaghetti everywhere. That's what I'm doing. You might feel better though, one of those things where you could think of it as "the situation is fucked, lets see how more fucked I can make it". At least it could be entertaining. That's terrible advice but you might have some fun with it that way.
>>37935930
Surprised you're relatively calm about it. If I ever shat blood id be panicking. Maybe it's just a desensitization thing.
>where's your rollar coated taking you ?
Really not sure at this moment. Maybe I'll ruin everything, maybe I'll build something. I'm hoping that I'd at least come off as a more self aware and knowledgeable and experienced person after all of this

>>37936271
Why should I hate my parents? I'm sure if they knew better they wouldn't have had it done. It was just very common in the 90's for boys where I live. I blame the medical industry.

>>37936339
Roller coster*
Holy fuck fuck phone posting

>>37936373
They mutilated their chilld's genitals.

>>37936415
To me it sounded like he just got circumcised

>>37936146
>foreskin restoration meme
>>37936415
>fixing a penis is "mutilating" it meme

You people are disgusting.

>>37936415
It was done by a doctor, probably away from their eyes. Hospitals make crazy money off circumcisions. I refuse to hate my parents after all they've done for me.

>>37935794
Hey meta, just have this stupid unprovoked feeling that you don't really particularly like me

Not sure if this is the right thread for this but whatever

So I never feel at peace/content/relaxed unless I'm on something with some sort of sedative affect like alcohol or opiates. Hell I've even resorted to taking a few benadryl to just feel calm. Otherwise I end up being awake for 24-30 some hours before I feel tired enough to sleep

Anyone know what I can do for this or if there's any sort of medication to be on?

>>37936339
>Surprised you're relatively calm about it
well i've been so anxious and my stomach have hurt so much i've struggled i eat for the last few weeks. but that's just emotions, and i keep them on the inside. intellectually i know that most likely everything is fine.
i also wish i could let my emotions out, seem like it would hurt less that way.

in hindsight, the only experiences i've came away from without growing are those where i've tried to minimize damage instead of just letting this go as they may. even really heavy shit have been positive when enough time has passed

>>37936471
It's not a meme, people have done it as far back as Ancient Rome. You obviously can't grow back the lost nerve endings or parts like the frenulum or ridged band, but you can recover most of the sensation.

Also that's terrible b8 and you should feel bad.

>>37936483
You don't have to hate them. You can love them but still hold them to account for their misdeeds. If you love someone you do not let things fly without them at least having apologised. They owe you that much. I'd rather have my little finger chopped off desu.

>>37936499
What's wrong with Benadryl to sleep?
Non addictive and I use it myself

>>37936571
I'll take it in the middle of the day just for the calm/relaxed/cozy feeling

>>37936536
An apology won't bring my foreskin back. Neither will holding a grudge.

>>37936499
have you got an actually diagnosis or explanation for your problems? do you get tired but unable to sleep or so speedy that you simply dont feel the need to sleep for 30 hours?

>>37936528
No you can't, it's gone forever. Sure, you can be a freak and stretch out your dick skin, but it doesn't make it magically turn into foreskin. How would you even know most of the sensation is restored unless you're circumcised as an adult and then "restore" it?

>>37936605
They do not know that they did anything wrong unless you tell them. You show your love for them by making them aware and allowing them to take responsibility.

>>37936606
Well sometimes I'll feel exhausted but can't sleep, but after being awake for so long I start feeling manic and speedy and if that happens I can end up being awake for like 2 days.
I was doing that for a while then sleeping 14-16 hours, then within the past day i'm down to sleeping 5-7 hours and waking up early as fuck.

>>37936610
People have restored after being circ'd as an adult, they reported improved sensation after restoring, being comparable to before they were cut. It's not the exact same as being uncut, but I'll take what I can get.

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>>37934985
So far my life has been completely uneventful and dreary. It feels like I have, and still am, missing out on all the things you're supposed to do when you're young.

I routinely become hopeless and feel like a total failure. Nobody around me fully realizes this but it's only a matter of time before they do and I'm going to have to deal with the embarrassment.

>>37936653
you should get it checked before starting on medication. most likely it's only a stress or anxiety thing, in which case it would be far better to deal with that instead of medicating the symptoms away.

>>37936518
>i also wish i could let my emotions out, seem like it would hurt less that way
It dose. Doing it online with a bunch of anons you'll never see has no consequence

>>37936626
They're in their 60's, they're not having any more kids. Doctors here don't recommend it anymore. I was just born a few years too early. My dad would probably laugh his ass off if I told him how much it bothers me. I don't see a point.

>>37936723
Well I have been pretty depressed/anxious/stressed lately but at this point I'm willing to just medicate it away because I'm sick of it at this point.

I just want to feel comfy

>>37936733
this is a small vent, it does relieve much of the pressure, but i sorta want to go batshit.

>>37936784
>I just want to feel comfy
and such, the depression deepens


im going to sleep now

>>37936882
Good nite York

>>37936882
Sleep well York

>>37936924
finished almost all the Ali g interviews

>>37936987
Wow, you've really powered through those. I'll have to reccommend you some more stuff. Have you tried Brass Eye?

Present for a bit.

>>37937105
Thanks for your help earlier today. Did you get my follow-ups?

>>37936486
Not true, I don't have a problem with you. I genuinely wonder why you might think that I do. I'm not being attentive to this thread tonight, so any of my responses will be late.

>>37937158
No reason whatsoever. Just felt a feel and wanted to clear it up

>>37937128

I was reading them just now. I sent a short response also.

>>37937158

Hello Meta.

Good to see you.

>>37937022
That will be next on my to watch list then

>>37937105
Nick my husbando

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>>37937490

Always here for you, my love.

If a woman casually suggests you should visit her home, is she hitting on you?

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>>37937499
I'm your waifu now. Here's my pic

>>37937560
Not definitely, but be aware that it could be on the table

>>37937581
The house or the women?

>>37937581

She also accidentally gets in touch with me when we sit. I know she wants me, but I'm not interested, so I put some distance. I don't like doing that, but I'm not interested.

I'm a social ninja now. Since I have many interests, I always find something in common with people. I got closer to an artist, a musician, etc, simply because I did paint at some point and I did play music too.

I do incredible things lately.

I don't see the purpose in being alive.

Life is a pointless waste of time. Society expects everyone to fit in a social butterfly mentality, I can't just be
left alone to do what I need to do. Why bother trying when I can't be fixed? I can't do a social job or be around
people for too long because it's overwhelming. I'd end up running away, crying or getting violent.

Almost every entry level job around me requires socializing and if I can't socialize in a context of meeting tons of
people a day and have expectations on me to complete a job I could easily fuck up then how am I supposed to get
a job? Why does every say just treat it like a job as though it's something trivial when you're getting paid for it and companies advertise it
as though you need to be amazing at everything?
Like being confidant, talktive happy, hard working, decidcated, fast learner ect. It's just a fucking lie, I can't do any of that stuff so how is it fair
that society condems me for not conforming to something I'm not capable off? Most people aren't that they just want money, that or they expect way too much
out of people.

Society only cares about what you can do for it. Correct? So why doesn't it simply kill people who can't do just that?
Wouldn't it be easier to just kill me rather than allowing me to be a burden? If a tree doesn't produce fruit you would
just kill it off wouldn't you? Why are humans any differen't? Me dying would be doing me a society a favor. You
can't say that to anyone though because otherwise they assume you're attention seeking or doing it for pity so
you can emotionally manipulate others. Don't go against the herd mentality and dare say how you feel otherwise everyone
will just insult and berate you. My friends don't understand and neither do my family they only act as though
then understand so they can undermine how you feel. 'Well I have it hard too, why don't you just man up?'

To be continued.

>>37937617
What instrument/s

>>37937630
Do you emotions control your entire life? Are you afraid every day worrying about how you have no future?
No! So shut the fuck up trying to relate to me with your bullshit. You have a job and you can function in a day
to day society so don't act thought we're the same.

Doctor's don't help. They give you some drugs and then just fob you off not telling you what exactly is wrong with you.
Tell me what the problem is and fucking diganose me with something or don't fucking bother. But no, because unfortunaly
we are overpopulated and health care is incapable of supporting a bunch of people who aren't okay with a system that
condems a large amount of the population to doing boring monotonous garabage that only serves to give me money.

Woopty fucking doo, I get money. To do what with? Pepetuate a meaningless exsistance? Repeat the same arduous process day
in and day out? How is that fun? How is that fufilling? How do people find purpose in doing something so meaningless?
If anything it's society that is deluded, thinking this is worthwhile.

Money is only useful when given in high amounts. Otherwise it's used to pay bills and sustain yourself and as a result
you can't hope to save that without subjecting yourself to bullshit for long periods of time. You can learn how to drive?
So what, you need tons of money for insurance and a veichle anyway. So you can get a job slaving away and make it a little
easier? Wow, what a great incentive.

I think people just stay in a veil of ignorance and it makes sense. Why confort the shitty nature of reality when you
can act as though life is great because acknowledging that life is shit means destroying the entire foundations
that make you life worth anything mean jack fucking shit. Objectively life has more bad things in life than good.

>>37937646
This world in a prision. Life looks beautiful but it's all just a deceptive facade where most of that life is controlled
by money. That's why I'm apathetic, because there is no point in being motivated or fighting against it when all roads in
your life lead to the end. Death is the only way out and I don't have the balls to do that so this cycle of suffering
will perpetuate itself indefinatly until I snap and kill someone or my coping mechanisms for life (what little I have)
run out and I truly have no choice but to end it all. I have to suppress how I feel to function in a day to day society
but I can't keep this up forever.

This isn't my fault. I didn't ask to be born nor did I ask to be this way. It's society and it's expectations that have shaped me into who I
am. I am merely a byproduct of society.

>>37937630

You need to learn to socialise and enjoy it. Once the fear is gone, you will enjoy it.

>>37937644

Piano and guitar. I learned alone. I improvise a lot. Give me a piano and I'll improvise for hours.

>>37937677
>You need to learn to socialise and enjoy it. Once the fear is gone, you will enjoy it.

I can socialize. I just can't do it for prolonged periods of time and around multiple people who I won't form a strong relationship with.

>>37937692
I'm a piano guy myself
Ever wrote anything? I've made a few scrapes but never actually went through with writing

>>37937694
>I just can't do it for prolonged periods of time and around multiple people who I won't form a strong relationship with.

Train. Be in the moment, ask questions and listen. That'll go a long way. Most people will talk a lot, and those who won't will not need much socialising, so you're fine either way.

Remember: you never know who will become a great friend until you give it a try.

Practice, observe. But yeah, focus on questions and active listening.

>>37937614
>The house or the women?
Which would you prefer?

>>37937723

Yeah, a lot. I recorded stuff. Some is even on YouTube. I might be able to find some.

>>37937771
You don't see a house on a table everyday so obviously the house

>>37937766
I have anxiety and can't simply think in the moment. I have a desire to runaway, panic or punch someone in the face when put into certain social situations.

Doctor's don't help other than prescribing drugs and not telling me what's actually wrong with me.

>>37937820

We need to work on your confidence. Are you scared to disappoint people you speak with?

>>37937780
Link me to your channel so I can criticize you

>>37937859
>Link me to your channel so I can criticize you

I don't care for criticism. I'm not on the level where criticism means much. Not sure I can find it, though.

>>37937846
Yes. I get immense pressure put on me when doing any job because If I make a mistake I'm scared of being shouted at, that and keeping up the facade of being a social butterfly.

I'm also have a perfectionist mentality.

>>37937885
That was meant as a playful figure of speech. I'm in no position to criticize anyone

>>37937890

Sounds like people-pleaser syndrome. Usually from parents who didn't value you as a person but valued you based on acts, and only if you did something well, and it probably never was quite good enough.

>>37937903

My response sounded harsher than I meant. I can't find the video.

>>37937997
I don't need a psuedo intellectual evaluation on why I have deep seated issues anon.

The pressure I put is on myself because society is an abhorrent piece of shit where you need to beg simply to put cans on a shelf for 8 hours a day.

I have nothing to be motivated for in life and my parents resentment of me is growing fast.

I wonder if it's too late to become a pro wrestler

>>37938038
>I don't need a psuedo intellectual evaluation on why I have deep seated issues anon.

No, you need an actual reason for it.

>The pressure I put is on myself because society is an abhorrent piece of shit where you need to beg simply to put cans on a shelf for 8 hours a day.

I've never had to do that, so no. I worked menial jobs but always kept respect for myself and for the task at hand. Whenever you say "society" and it's negative, think twice, because it's usually biased or untrue.

What would you change?

>>37938084

It's not. Get back in shape, and you're good. You're a good actor and you did martial arts. It's all you need.

Plus I really want to see that.

You could put your real bio as your fake one, and nobody would ever figure it out.

>>37938132
Society is negative because if forces expectations on people. All jobs in my area are fast food or retail and unfortunately there isn't many decent retail jobs either.

Your respect for yourself means shit. Society cares about what you can offer and that's that. If you can't be a normie like everyone else then you're fucked.

>>37938147
You've got a point there. It was such fun, after all. Being theatrically dastardly is about as good as it gets.

>>37938180
>Society is negative because if forces expectations on people.

You're expected to do a lot of things, but so is everyone else, thankfully. You're expected to follow the law, etc.

> All jobs in my area are fast food or retail and unfortunately there isn't many decent retail jobs either.

Have you taken steps to get a better job?

>Your respect for yourself means shit.

Without it, you will not get much in life, including other people's respect and the motivation to improve.

>Society cares about what you can offer and that's that.

In exchange of which you will receive what society has to offer. I'd advise you to stop using the word society as it makes things very monolithic and simplifies beyond what is justified. Say "people" and see how it changes.

Also stop using "normie" because you don't know who's a normie and who isn't.

Dysfunctions don't have to make you fucked permanently. You can turn them to your advantage.

>>37938218

Do it.

PTSD Monsta: raised in a death camp on the moon, PTSD Monsta is a ruthless opponent who murders Pokemons for lunch.

Falling asleep. Bye bye

>>37938228
>Have you taken steps to get a better job?

I got a useless meme degree. I need a job now, that is simple a matter of fact

>Without it, you will not get much in life, including other people's respect and the motivation to improve.

Society only cares about what it see's.

>In exchange of which you will receive what society has to offer. I'd advise you to stop using the word society as it makes things very monolithic and simplifies beyond what is justified. Say "people" and see how it changes.

So society as a collective doesn't judge you for being a loser for not having a job? Society doesn't discriminate against people by expecting all people to be social butteflies for entry level jobs?

It is society that is the problem.

>>37938247
Thanks, but I'm pretty happy with my persona. It involves a lot of scuttling. You'd be surprised at how much scuttling I can do. It freaks people out. Which is, of course, the point. Got the idea from Condemned 2.

Brilliant game by the way. My favourite first person game. It involves beating junkies to death with a bedpost and drinking cleaning alcohol to stop the shakes.

>>37938383
Ok, night Nick.

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Hey guys.

My blood feels like it's on fire, my stomach and liver feel like they're melting from gut acid, I've got this incredibly terrible sense of dread, sorrow, and anxiety eating me up from everywhere, and I wanna cry!

I can't seem to do that for some reason and I've just been poker face staring into my desk with the random concerned grimace/forced smile. I kinda want to drink to see if being drunk will force something out of me, but every time I try to take a sip my entire body gives this weird primordial, mute shriek that tells me to spit it out. I also can't say I'm really stressed by anything immediate. Work is fine enough as usual, school is coming along fine, and I just ate dinner. I'm not even in debt.

I'm starting to get worried! May panic any time soon! Anyone deal with something like this before?

Go to the goddamn hospital, you don't need armchair psychology you need a doctor

>>37938433
>I got a useless meme degree. I need a job now, that is simple a matter of fact

If you provide more detailed information, it will cut things short, else I have to ask again.

You could always get another degree. I'm doing just that soon.

>Society only cares about what it see's.

This means nothing. Society is a very general thing and you very rarely have to deal with it directly. You deal with people, and people care about everything, not just what they see.

>So society as a collective doesn't judge you for being a loser for not having a job?

Within that society, many people are unemployed or have been unemployed; those won't judge you for it, since they know what it is. The rest also knows it can happen to them, or anyone. Most people won't judge you for being jobless, not in today's day and age. Any mature person working knows that.

>Society doesn't discriminate against people by expecting all people to be social butteflies for entry level jobs?

It doesn't. If you're socially awkward, however, it'll be part of your profile and with any teamwork you'll be considered less advantageous, especially for team work.

>It is society that is the problem.

No, it's you. Your socialising skills aren't very developed for now, due to psychological issues. That's not society's fault, and it's completely mendable.

Humans are social animals, you need to give yourself that good socialising stuff that makes you feel happy.

>>37938444
>Brilliant game by the way.

What? What game?

kek be praised

>>37938517
>If you provide more detailed information, it will cut things short, else I have to ask again.
You could always get another degree. I'm doing just that soon.

And incur even more debt? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Are you fucking stupid?

>This means nothing. Society is a very general thing and you very rarely have to deal with it directly. You deal with people, and people care about everything, not just what they see.

People care about the service they are being provided, that's it.

>Within that society, many people are unemployed or have been unemployed; those won't judge you for it, since they know what it is. The rest also knows it can happen to them, or anyone. Most people won't judge you for being jobless, not in today's day and age. Any mature person working knows that.

Friends and family will and that's all that matters.

>It doesn't. If you're socially awkward, however, it'll be part of your profile and with any teamwork you'll be considered less advantageous, especially for team work.

So basically every job nearby? Thanks for confirming I won't ever be employed

>Humans are social animals, you need to give yourself that good socialising stuff that makes you feel happy.

Fuck you. I don't want to socialize with people. People are cunts and given the opportunity I'd kill everyone on this planet. Nobody cares about you being nice they only care about what you provide for them.

>>37938539
Condemned 2. Fucking great. It was Xbox I think. You can probably get a port or something now though, it was ages ago. Creepy, atmospheric and brutal. I love a first person hand-to-hand game. He's no martial artist either, he's just a panicky drunk. So, you know. I can obviously relate. Anyway he was a cop but went completely off the rails because of seeing great and terrible things. Cthulhu PTSD.

>>37937105
Hey Nick I have a story to tell you, and I was hoping you could figure some shit out.

You guys gave me a lot of confidence in my art. I've made more recently than I have in a long time. I still have my moments of doubt, but I've been reading up on discounting the positives and other cognitive distortions and ways to cope with them.
Hopefully one day I can make this my job or at least a very lucrative side-hobby. Right now I'm trying to get faster so I can finish more commissions and in a timely manner. I'd like to make merchandise as well.
Thanks lads. And good luck to all the others in this thread.

>>37938936
Post your art.

Oregino Commentio

>>37938936
Better luck to you my friend. I only wish I was here sooner so I could've seen your story.

>>37938963
I've posted it before. I don't want to be an attention whore.
>>37938966
Thank you. It wasn't a very long journey, but I feel like I've gained some self confidence I needed.

>>37939134
>I've posted it before. I don't want to be an attention whore.

Just post it. I've never seen you before and just want to see if you're good or not.

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>>37939134
Never mind I found it.

Wow it's pretty amateur anon. Honestly I'd just give up if I was you and that's coming from a guy who got his artwork destroyed on r9k.

>>37939205
If pic related is the artwork you're calling shit then, fuck off you troll.

>>37939389
I said it was amateur. No point arguing with r9k robots since they have no taste, that work would only be fit to be in the beginner thread in /ic/

No need to false flag due to being defensive.

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>>37939142
Fine. I think I showed one of these recently in /ic/ but I did a bit more work on it, so it should be ok.

File: merc_wip.jpg (571KB, 916x1100px) Image search: [Google]

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>>37939389
>proportions fucked
>composition is shit
>what is perspective?

>inb4 post work
pic related

>>37939436
Far right is okay but you've still got a long way to go.

Not to discourage you like that other anon but I think if you keep at it you should be fine.

>>37939205
>>37939421
Never said I was a master. With practice I'll get better.
I'm even starting to study my fundies and stuff like color theory now. Before I probably would have been upset by your comment, but it's ok anon. Thank you for the drive to improve.

File: Ship.png (2MB, 918x1224px) Image search: [Google]

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>>37939436
Nice work. Here is some of mine.

Nite nite from me

>>37939589
That's some really nice work, Karl. Keep it up, I'll definitely follow you for inspiration.

I don't know what's wrong with me but I'm worried. I don't seem to have any real sense of self and i never really have. In the past it didn't bother me so much but now its almost unbearable thinking about it, i don't know who i am. I can be social but it feels inauthentic a lot of the time even when my words ate genuine. My mood constantly changes and i can't focus on anything. Right now I feel fine but this morning I was seriously thinking I had to kill myself. This happens every day. There's always a sense of dread in the back of my mind and I constantly have intrusive thoughts. Everything seems to get worse when I my headaches get bad as well.

I feel like I'm on a downward spiral and I'm just so tired of being like this. Not being able to really connect emotionally with anyone.

>>37939699
Not much point really since I don't know how long I've got left, I just finished my illustration degree and can't find a job. I guess it's my fault for choosing it.

Honestly just keep art as a hobby, it's not worth trying to do it as a job.

>>37939421
>>37939448
I don't really give a shit. I was just doing it so I could tell someone to fuck off.

File: tumblr_olzvyxDON51uk0gtuo1_500.jpg (94KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

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what do u mean like
u don't feel like ur in ur own body
or u don't feel like things are fun anymore
or u think everyone's lying to u
or ur faking being happy
like what does "not being urself" mean

>>37940853
Who are you replying to and what are you talking about?