>walk into club >see this what do?

>>37908332
"What, you hoes like what you see?"

Leave because I have no business being in a club in the first place.

>>37908332
Break out tec-9 and go to town

File: FE.webm (1MB, 486x720px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 486x720px

>>37908332
yo check these stats

>>37908332
I would walk out because I'm highly intimidated by their gazes.

>>37908332
"y-you too ladies!"
>walks out the building through the back entrance

>>37908428
>tfw did this with dota because cousins forced me to club

>>37908332
Walk right up to the table, look at all of them and say "hey how's it going?"

Approach the girl in the white shorts immediately.

>>37908551
They look at you and say "move out the way, you're blocking Chad"

turn 1080 degrees and jerk off

File: 1452657443213.jpg (102KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

102KB, 600x600px

>>37908332
>implying I'd ever walk into a club, pub, or bar in the first place

fuck your club pubs m6

>>37908332
>look behind me
>notice chad
>put hands in my pockets and stumble away

>walk into club
why would i do this?

If they are just looking at me like that I walk up and say hi and wait for an explanation or for someone to say something then go from there.
Probably one of them will rub their butt on my peepee ("dancing") and then disappear so I go home with mild blue balls

File: 1495850505739.gif (593KB, 350x264px) Image search: [Google]

593KB, 350x264px

ignore them and go straight to the bar to get drunk

File: 1498217782955-b.jpg (29KB, 480x640px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 480x640px

>>37908332
Throw a stack of one's into the air at start dancing. At least one of those hoes will be drunk enough to spread her legs.

File: 1453053264451.png (881KB, 640x721px) Image search: [Google]

881KB, 640x721px

>>37908488
I was forced to go to a strip club with some Chads and two other guys from my DND group (long story), we brought our laptops and set them up on the table to LAN Warcraft 3 (this was before smartphones were a thing). Security came over after like 10 minutes and asked us to put those away or leave.

I paid $40 to watch naked girls dance for 2 hours and it fucking sucked, I remember being so uncomfortable and impatient for it to end, the music was so loud my ears hurt, I literally wished I was at home playing WoW.

I honestly wouldn't go to a strip club for free these days unless you paid me, I'd rather watch some 360 MMD or MMD in VR. My family is concerned I don't have gf but I'm still not sure how to tell them that 3D women are not important to me?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFBEZvukqAA

>>37908332
scope out which drink to slip the rufees into

>>37909662
>never played tabletop
>never got into MMOs
>never had the opportunity to experience this type of hell
I'm so sad.

>>37909662
Faggot. GOod job dissapointing all your ancestors up until this point

>>37908332
>turn 360 degrees and walk away in original way

>>37908428
>grinding best girl and precious cinnamon roll Olivia in a club
My nigger

>>37908332
Wonder what fucking alternate dimension I've wandered into where there's more girls in the club than guys

>>37910160
ladys nights are crazy some clubs in a city near me have it all drinks for girls are half the price
so almost normal prices for grills
it actually works well for the buisenesses since it gets girls in the club and then betas come and buy drinks for the full price for the sluts

>>37908332
*unzips Glock*

>>37908332
Now this is how everyone of us REALLY would act:

>Look at the girl that attracts you personally the most ( for me far left)
>She looks with her bitch look disgutingly back to you
>You immediately move your head from her looking like a fucking retard
>You start believing that she maybe liked how you look
>Go into a corner trying to look at her from a position where she can't see you
>Think whole night about if she looked at you because you are disgusting or weird (yes) or if she finds you cute (no)
>Go home after the party check her facebook and fap to her pictures

>>37910503
how would you find the facebook of a random girl?

>>37908428
That party look lit af tho

>>37910503
>she makes a face at you
>make a face mocklingly back at her

>>37910528
pure, weaponised autism probably

>>37910558
ya, I've gotten exceedingly good at finding random people's fb's with just a first name, or even without a name.

90% of people here would just get out immedialy.
If you have no balls to talk to them, why would you have balls to make a rampage?

>>37910528
>Stay close maybe you hear her name
>Go to the Facebook Event page and check the people who liked/attended it
>Check people you may know on Facebook, it will give you people that were on the same location with you the last day
>Memorize her girlfriends and check if you know some of them, find her via them

>>37910668
damn you earned that fap

>>37910593
>90% of people here would just get out immedialy.

This

>>37908332
look behind me
originar

File: 1496072732843.png (859KB, 720x960px) Image search: [Google]

859KB, 720x960px

>>37908332
>turn 180 degrees and fuck off
>wonder why in the hell i decided to go to some club if i could be comfy at home browsing the chans and watching my chinese cartoons in peace

>>37908332
*pull g18 out of holster*
hey girls, you don't look so intimidating now

*Salutation nod*

>>37908332
>"which one of you is buying my drink?"
>most of them say nothing
>at least one laughs and gets it
>not the one I wanted
Black hair, white shirt, blue shorts(is the best)
>with the tension broke, I can now move to the bar
>over pay for a bottle of beer
>zone out and wish I was home
>look over and see that the girl that laughed, is staring
>force a smile
>she looks away
What did she mean by this?
>go for smoke
>3 hits into cigarette, the opens
>it's her, with two other friends
>pull out my phone and easedrop
>"just ask him for a lighter."
Continue? I have time to tell a tale.

>>37911146
>3 hits into my cigarette, and the door opens*

>>37911146
sure why not
just dont make them do the dinosaur

notice almost all are women. LOL these bitches are starving for chad.

>>37908332
Light the place up

>>37908332
>find a seat near the walls and sit down alone

File: Konata_Izumi_Good_Job.gif (353KB, 350x197px) Image search: [Google]

353KB, 350x197px

>>37911146
yes pl0x
origin01olo01ool

>>37908332
Load the shotgun.

>>37911219
OP here, trust me they're not

>>37911219
They're strippers and prostitutes, m8

>>37908332
Seriously, if you're not a tall guy how would you walk up to and talk to this group of girls?

>>37911173
Very well.
>"Hey, I left my lighter in my car and was want to know if I ca-"
>hold lighter for her
>tiddily diddily tip my fedora
>"thanks."
>a moment of silence between us happens
>we can overhear her friends giggling and mummering
>Me: "Can I get my lighter back?"
>Her: "Oh... Sorry."
>Me: "Its cool... So.. Have you ever been here before? It's not that bad."
>she sees that I'm finally trying
>but now she's a bit hesitant
>Her: "Yeah, this is my third time. It's Alexa's birthday." She says, pointing at one of the two girls that followed her.

I don't know where I'm going with this actually.. Someone tag out!

File: lurking.jpg (125KB, 900x429px) Image search: [Google]

125KB, 900x429px

>>37911504
keep going
oriii11111iiig

>>37911504
>another anon suddenly comes around
>has a gun in hand
>pushes you inside
>people start screaming
>anon shoots in the air to silence the crowd
>finally he speaks
>everybody get on the floor
>everybody do the dinosaur

>>37908332
I'd wonder why I walked into the club

>>37911635
Alright. I found my resolve.

>Me: "Oh, I see. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALEXA!"
>She turns to look at her friend, while smiling, that I just yelled at, to see her reaction.
>her friend looks confused, but acknowledges me with a "t-thanks."
>The way that she turns back around, in a stutter motion, to look at me makes me realize something.
>she is already drunk, or at least buzzing
>Her: "What's your name?" She says in between puffs of her cigarette.
>Me: "I'm Anon. My friends call me "Anon." What's yours?"
>She smiles from my autism, but is still somehow with it
>Her: "My name is Holly." "Thank you again for your lighter, by the way."
>Me: "No problem. Oh! While I'm thinking about it. Why were you all staring at me like that, when I walked in?"
>Holly: "Oh, (she laughs) we thought you were going to be one of our friends we were waiting on. I bet that was weird for you, huh?"
>Me: "Not really. I'm use to being the center of attention.
>I say this in a joking tone, not to be taking seriously
>She laughs and puts out her now finished cigarette.
>Holly: "Oh, a stud I see. Maybe you can show me some of that confidence on the dance floor."
>Me: "maybe I will." I say smiling.

>>37908332
>turn around
>leave with great haiste
I don't give my seed all Willy nilly. I would not want to deal with the constant, pathetic begging from the jizz hounds. My baby batter is for strong, intelligent women. But only after passing a series of grueling test, both mental and physically. When they've proven their worth, they may take their place at my side as my loyal companion, and spawn vessel.

>>37912068
what delusion and fantasy...

>>37910528
Most clubs hire a photographer, then they upload the pictures to their website/jewbook, you find her and then you masturbate. Not that hard desu

>>37912107
Welcome to /r9k/ new friend.
My comment was not original.

File: tipsfedora.jpg (106KB, 1200x794px) Image search: [Google]

106KB, 1200x794px

>>37912071
>I don't give my seed all Willy nilly. I would not want to deal with the constant, pathetic begging from the jizz hounds. My baby batter is for strong, intelligent women. But only after passing a series of grueling test, both mental and physically. When they've proven their worth, they may take their place at my side as my loyal companion, and spawn vessel.

>>37912107
Honestly. This was as close to "realistic" that i could do. Otherwise, it would have ended after she asked for a lighter.

>>37912068
This is really sad and pathetic. Please continue.

Become extremely uncomfortable and try to ignore them. While walking to some place where nobody notices me.

>>37908428
how would somebody go to such place and not get a seizure and virtigo from such annoying lights? and dehydration from it being crowded? staying athome is the best

>>37912230
But its entertaining, right? That's all that matters. Actually, that doesn't matter either. I just felt like typing it.

>>37912280
they are all drunk, high or both

>>37912321
It is, continue pls

>>37908332
>aim
>pull trigger

>>37912321
It's sad and pathetic because there is no chance of this happening. But I come on r9k to feel sad and pathetic, so good work anon. Keep going.

>>37908332
It's not the Pulse Club but it'll do.

File: party rocking.png (6KB, 264x191px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 264x191px

>>37908332
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIOOwhmkoLo

I PARTY ROCK IN THE HOOUUUUSE TONIIIIGHT

File: 20170623_165026.jpg (346KB, 898x887px) Image search: [Google]

346KB, 898x887px

>>37908332
Posting this just to reverse image search it desu senpai

File: 14c2af8efbbd446efbb3b10cce595b43.jpg (41KB, 640x633px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 640x633px

>>37912071
>My baby batter is for strong, intelligent women
T-this is a pasta, r-right?

>>37914058
The whole post is OC famalam. I'm filled with a weird pride that you thought it could be.

File: 14141.jpg (9KB, 158x200px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 158x200px

>>37913993
never stop shitposting this anon, you cheer me up even though its shit.

>>37912068
somebody else continue i want the escapism

>>37908488
laptop? how do you have decent wifi in a club

>>37909075
Is that celestia vega?

>>37911380
You'd go up to one you have the biggest boner for and hit them with a one liner, perform some banter while making eye contact and trying to be as blowhard as possible, then you get dancing, grind on her, and when you're both wasted you fuck, maybe get STDs or get her pregnant (~5% chance) then never see each other again. Repeat ad nauseam every other night for 10 years. You now have the life of the average degenerate normie of today.

>>37908332
leave.
As myself why am I in a club.

>>37909200
that's a very accurate answer of what a normal person would do

File: 1487016086230.gif (473KB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

473KB, 320x240px

>>37908332
A 360 then teleport out of the room.

>>37908488
You're full of shit. It's easy to say "No, I don't feel like going outside today, go without me."

>what do?
Be charismatic and interesting as I'm high on 150mg of MDMA

>>37916760
yeah!? I would turn 30 degrees to the side, then teleport 340 degrees to the right, look up and say "my planet needs me", tip my fedora and teleport to fucking China. meets some cuties at da beach and fuck 'em and eat noodles

>>37908332

Give me a minute

Walk over to the bar and get drunk af

Then don't get any pretend like I had a good time and feel increasingly suicidal

>>37909662
40 is chump change for strip clubs m8. Last month my buddy and I blew like 800 bucks on one strip club alone and that doesn't count all the bar hopping and shit we did. And we didn't even get a half hearted handjob either.