>Told psychiatrist I hate myself >Asked me what reasons

>>37899056
>her
you done fucked up

>>37899056
you sound like an attention whore who needs compliments to make yourself happy

You sound like a little beta bitch, and this female psychiatrist isn't helping.

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>>37899056
>what is low self esteem

There's a lot of people I absolutely full on hate and can't stand without any paticular reason, it's all about vibes
also pity yourself rather than hate, its better for you

>>37899056
>female psychiatrist
enjoy going to prison soon anon

>>37899336
>Prison
W-why would I go to prison?

>>37899365
>W-why would I go to prison?

whatever she chooses to accuse you of
maybe being a pedophile, or some severe mental disease that will cause you to kill people if you aren't locked up

>>37899365
Because you're government property and if you say anything negative about yourself, you will have a SWAT team go into your house and keep you from destroying government property by sending you to an asylum.

Lots of edgy teens think twice before saying "i wanna die lol" after their first ride in the back of a cop car from their high school to an asylum.

>>37899056
At some point in your early life someone was making you feel shame and guilt for no logical reason. You understood it to be illogical but also assumed the person saw you more clearly than you see yourself, so you believed that you were...
>fill in the negative phrases you use on a regular basis to hurt yourself.

The psychologist will work to identify what phrases you often use, and then tell you to counter those thoughts. This will brainwash you. But it's a positive brainwashing.

The truth is, you aren't as shitty or worthy of hate as you think. This is called cognitive dissonance, the holding of two opposing beliefs. You will get over this if you apply the lessons your psychologist gives you. The lessons will seem retardedly simple but take it all seriously even if she tells you to wear a rubber band on your wrist to be pulled and let go every time you mentally utter a negative phrase or word. You'll get better and better over time.

i would be able to give several reasons.

i could never go to a psychiatrist. normie psychiatrists couldn't understand the harsh reality of being an ugly subhuman.

>>37899411
>>37899437
These are some of the dumbest posts I've ever read. There's nothing I have done and nothing she could accuse me of that would ever get me arrested. I've already told her I think I'll kill myself eventually and not even that could get me put in a 72 hour hold because where I'm at it requires an actual plan that puts you in immediate danger.

>>37899441
Yeah, I always thought of myself as a logical person but in the last few years or so, emotion has really ruled over me. I'm not perfect and there's things I'd like to change but for the most part it really is just cognitive dissonance on my part. Thanks anon.

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>>37899519
The interesting part of this positive brainwashing you'll go through is that the opposing beliefs you have will grow or atrophy depending on which you engage more often with. Feed the self love, even if it sounds like lies and feels disingenuous to attempt. Starve the self hatred, even though you are the persona that knows and agrees you are worthless.

This will be a lesson in attrition and self discipline that will serve you well the rest of your life.

>>37899519
If you're a logical person OP you will change yourself and your life into becoming someone and something you can like.

If that's not possible just blame it on the human condition, which I believe is what the issue is. And there's nothing you can do about that since nobody fully understands it.

>>37899056
I'm the same way op. No matter how well I'm doing in life or how many things I can find about myself that I like I will always have an underlying intense self hatred. It's the root of all of my problems in life. I also think it's only natural. We were meant to be so much more. These physical bodies are pathetic. Our roles on this earth are petty. Anyone that can fool themselves into loving themselves is a fuking psycho in my opinion. Humans are a disgusting abomination. Everyone should kill themselves.

>>37900158
I think that's kinda what I tried to explain to her, was that I felt like my life was some sort of cosmic mistake and I was never meant to exist, I just had a hard time putting it into words.

Get off 4chan and don't be a whiny fayget

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>>37899056
read "Plato! not prozac"
it deal with the exact problem of having issues with one's self but thjey aren't connected to phisical things
i was going through the same thing, docs just looked up what symptons i had in the DSM and buttfucked me with meds, all with no results
at the end of it all i started thinking, thinking about myself, what made me feel that way? those questions led me to read this book, and ti worked wonders in helping me
it's hard to get help from outside when even yourself can't put it in words because words for such feelings do not exist

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>>37899148
>>37899186
Do not bully op
I will beat you up

>>37899056
God, I hate therapists. I know I shouldn't, and most of them are ok at their jobs but one terrible experience did it for me

>tell psychiatrist I feel terrible
>she asks me why
>tell me I don't know because my life seems perfect
>she continually asks the same simple question of why I feel sad, becoming more and more annoyed
>bitch I literally don't know, ain't it your job to find out ffs
>asks me about my family
>tell her they are great, because they are
>she gives me this really fake smile, and starts throwing out outrageous accusations of my family really confidently
>basically trying to find some shitty "oh i was diddled as a kid and ran over by a car" cliche to fit her preconceived notions
>too bad I had a stable, pleasant upbringing
>she starts asking me about my hobbies
>tell her I don't have any, I just sleep all day
>she's passive-aggressively accuses me of lying now
>fine, I play tetris
>she starts trying to find some deep meaning in that
>in TETRIS
>I just play that game an hour a week to distract myself from depression, but I dont even play it more bc it gets boring
>give up and start feeding her more and more bullshit
>lying non-stop, shit spewing out of my mouth at an unprecedented rate
>every woe-is-my-tragic-past freudian cliche she wants to hear
>oh look at me, I have 20 clearly-identifiable and common reasons for my depression, which I am listing to you explicitly
>she's the happiest she's ever been
>I'm lying so hard I feel like shit
>she gives me some flashcards and tells me to pick out a good quality I can identify with
>I go back to being honest and tell her I find no good qualities with myself
>she immediately goes back to being gloomy but fake smiling
>passive aggressively bitching that I'm making life soooo difficult for her
>bitch don't be a therapist then
>give up and pick "clean"
>she asks me why
>tell her it is because I shower
>she stares at me all annoyed
>I get up, leave, and feel the worst I've been for days

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>>37900488

>go to psychiatrist
>"damn, i need help to understand what i'm feeling and why"
>arrive at the place
>literal first question is "what are you feeling and why"
>scream internaly
i swear to good some of these people..
IT'S LIKE THEY WANT TO GET BASHED IN THE FUCKING HEAD

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>>37900488
She must have forgotten that not all depression is situational. Sometimes it's a biological side effect of some event. Like, sometimes it only takes one small concussion to cause a person to develop life long depression, regardless that life for them hasn't changed. Or, if you get hit in the nuts too hard or just right, you have the chance to damage your ability to create sperm or even testosterone. From one blow to the nuts, the next week you feel fatigue and depression and you don't know why.

Biology can fuck you into depression just like getting diddled can.

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>>37900554
to god*
it's hard to type in negative 5 degrees

>>37900554
4-8 years of schooling and I'm left having to psychoanalyze myself for them.

>>37900554
I can understand them asking that in the beginning, because some people already know they feel and why, but still need help working through those issues.

My problem is when they clearly expect EVERYONE to be that sort of easy, role-model-type patient straight in. If you asked and your patient doesn't know why they feel bad, tough shit that you got a harder case on your hands, help them find out why.

Psychology is a scam you, retards. The only reason it's still around is cuz people buy the bullshit.

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>>37900652
the guy that i went to was basically

>ask obvious questions
>consults DSM
>gets absolutly BTFO because he coudl'nt find anything that matched my problem
>cicle back the the begining
and that's when he didn't expect me to initiate consult
sometimes i'd just not say a word until he'd asked me to and i swear to all that is holy, this motherfucker would let the time run out just staring at my face
like what the fuck man? didin't you study your ass off to be able to help every single possible case?

>>37900689
This
Meds only numb the pain
Docs are all sweetalk baiting you to say some shit like "i was abused as a child" just so they get a quick look in the DSM and fuck you over with meds

also >>37900284 got it right
Pratical philosophy is the key to understanding one's self

>>37900598
I suspect biological yeah, because my depression also mellowed out for no reason. But it was also kind of situational, because back then I had lots of "friends" but they were actually acquiantances. It took a while to realize (by myself) that true friends are people you can really connect to and feel good talking to them. Also I was in a kinda abusive relationship, but I couldn't see it for what it is. I broke up when I researched red flags in a relationship, again no thanks to her.

She didn't even bother probing in those particular directions, she was too busy pushing me to lie about the good qualities I find in myself, as if doing that will lift my depression. I don't know why she fixated on my family (and that I must be lying about them) and my supposed hobby, but trusted me completely when I said my social/romantic life was fine

>>37899056
Hate is an emotion. Pathos. Logos speaks to logos and pathos speaks to pathos. Logos and pathos don't speak to each other. Of all places, I got this from reading the Essence of Christianity by Ludwig Feuerbach.... the part about logos and pathoos speaking to each other and not the part about hate. It was in a discussion about why people believe in G-d. Anyway, your psychiatrist is wrong if she thinks emotions are rational, although logos can be used to control the pathos.

>>37899314
would you say vibes like a sybian?

>>37900488
lol, i hope you are aware how great your family is. i relate to this so much. i hope your depression will go away the way you want.

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If you're in the United States like I am, you will be arrested and sent to a psych ward if you are suspected of being suicidal.

I had to spend a week in a psych ward, then I was released by some poo-in-loo. My entire time there was fucking garbage. It was a detox clinic too, so 75% of the people there were street kids who were too young to go to jail. One of the nigs was actually 7'4", literally inches taller than a door, and kept fucking with me and then saying "ay yo, juss jokin' my man". My room mate was a feisty spic who literally pissed in my mouth during my sleep. I was given no treatment and no medication. Not only am I forced to go to a psychiatrist who's a woman, I am stuck with a $18,000 bill for literally fucking nothing.

It's awkward silence between me and my psych Jew every few minutes, and she keeps throwing cliche shit at me. She eventually got tired of me I guess and is referring me to some spic bitch 100 miles away. She said there will be lots of people to talk to while I'm there because it's a le autism clinic.

If I don't go to this actual autism prison as an outpatient, I will be sent to an actual autism prison and I'll have to pay for it too.

tl;dr: don't say you'll kys, because you'll have a really bad time

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>>37900915
guy, you write so well that i read trough your pust like butter trough hot knife. wow !! i like your style.