>goes out with parents and sister for dinner to celebrate

Why not just say happy birthday anyways so you don't have to deal with it. It's not hard.

>I don't get them anything, cuz I don't really like giving or receiving gifts
It's not about you, just do something (anything) unless they are awful people

>>37809515
Just seems like a waste of money. I see them get random things, but never use them. *Looks at my Steam library*

during this time for me I give my mom 20 $ and say get him something, we usually get a card and I sign it along with whatever gift she decides.

wow our dads must have the same bday around father's day anon

>>37809573
I don't really feel happy buying people gifts but I do it anyway because it seems to make them happy and I wish I felt this feeling

>>37809030

Some people just need to hear it for confirmation and it really doesn't hurt to say it. My mother flips out if I don't say "I love you too." Just because you know how you feel doesn't mean they do.

>>37809573
Just seems like a formality. The idea of giving gifts sounds nice, but often times only works out if you really know what the other person wants, because you're close to them. Otherwise they're just telling you what to get them, and it loses the appeal. Sure, you could attach feelings to whatever object/item was given to you, but if it serves no practical purpose in your life, then you're more respecting the idea behind the gift, then anything.

My parents are religious. My sister gave my father one of those types of Bible books that get you through the Bible in a year. He probably has a lot of those. I doubt he'll go through and read it all any time soon. I don't agree that as long as an attempt was made, things are alright. No reason to make an attempt if it's not truthful.

And no anon, my mother's birthday was today, but it was also father's day.

>>37809030

This entire story sounds upper-middle class as fuck lol.

The best thing about being working class is that everyone is so uncomfortable with their emotions that you can get out of shit like this so easily.

>>37809030
if nothing brings you joy you might need to listen to your folks and see someone about mood elevators or something, because you might have real clinical depression

im glad your folks are concerned about your well being, mine never were, cherish that

>>37809732
Ya. My father is retired military.

All my siblings are far apart in age, with me being the youngest (20). Siblings would always fight, so I got used to just not talking to anyone in my family. I'm trying to not be a NEET cuz I feel guilty about taking advantage of my situation and also with not really having a relationship with my parents/siblings. They're probably not bad people. I just don't understand how to interact with a family.

>>37809397

He didn't say it because he didn't feel it.
He values authenticity and doesn't want to cheapen genuine moments by performing demanded rehearsed versions of them.

Brotip: the golden rule doesn't apply to us autists

Allistic are all egomaniacs and if you don't correctly read their mind it obviously means you are an evil asshole worse than hitler and stalin combined who hates them and specifically chose to not read their mind just to spite them. They will never have the same consideration for our feelings but for the sake of an easy life it's best to just give in and do the silly little dance they expect. We might be superior but they still outnumber us. the only other option is getting into a pissing contest to see who can lay on the better guilt trip. What do you get for winning this pissing contest? Everyone thinks your an asshole who hates them.

Fortunately we have gift cards now. The best time to say the ritualistic words are upon seeing them, departing from them, or while others are saying it. It feels uncomfortable but they don't understand this and just want to be in the spotlight. They could be taking a shit and would gladly except a happy birthday.

>>37809778
Idk if I'm depressed. More so disappointed with a lot of stuff about life, too lazy to fix things, and think too much about the meaning to life. I don't want to be nihilistic, but I can't find a way to live life that works.

They do care about me, but I just don't feel anything for them. I'd prefer to not have to see them.

>>37809664
>My mother flips out if I don't say "I love you too."

My parents do this at the end of every phone call and it's autistic as fuck.

We both always anticipate it coming, there's this awkward silence, and then they say it, with this really weird hallmark vibe, and then I say it in this monotonous, robot tone, and then it's over.

It's so uncomfortable, I can't imagine that they enjoy it or are blind to how awkward and forced it is.

Why do they forcibly extract these things from us? What do they gain out of it? I resent it.

They've forced it so much and we've both pretended to mean it so many times that the actual truth of it has disappeared.

>>37809030
This is what cards are for, anon. It acts as the symbol of "I acknowledge holiday" without requiring any real gift selection.

Bonus points if you do more than sign your name, like write a small note inside.

>>37809732
Poor people are so weird.
>ummmm like that sounds upper mddile class xDD

Being working class is like totally first world problems lol, go fuck yourself.

>>37809030
We communicate with words to let other's know our thoughts. If you don't say it they can't be sure that you give a shit.
This day isn't about you, just fucking say it if that's what they want.

>>37809884

>i'm too sheltered to perceive class distinctions

How American are you

>>37809908
911%.
If you aren't American you do not matter. No one gives a shit about your classist shit flinging.

>>37809030

You're a disrespectful son. I hope your parents have you committed so they can go back to enjoying their lives again.

>>37809861
I've found it so weird that a friend of mine would be having a fight with their parents, but then a minute later saying "I love you".

"B-but no matter how much we fight, we'll always still love each other, cuz we're family"

...idk if I agree with that.

My brother used to be a bitch to me until he got into high school and became depressed about stuff. He'd try talking to me just because he was lonely and wanted to feel comfort in the idea of family. "But you're my brother... :( "
Yes. Biologically speaking, you are my brother.

He'd then run out of the room crying to my mother about how mean I was to him, but then turn around the next day and call my mother a bitch about something dumb, and then mess up our house.

>tfw father that abandoned family 10 years ago gets pissy when I don't talk to him on father's day
What the fuck is this shit

>>37809030
>don't ask for anything for my birthday
>don't remind people of my birthday
>forget everyone's birthday and holidays
>sometimes I'll forget what year it is so people assume I'm very absent-minded instead of a cold, unfeeling robot

>>37809873
Ehh. I'd rather just awkwardly say "happy birthday" or whatever. Always hate when I get cards myself. Too lazy to pick one out myself for someone.

>>37809941
I hope a family member tells you to kill yourself.

>>37809992
This is why they think you don't care. You're unwilling to spend 10 minutes at the store picking up a piece of paper and writing some bullshit in it, even though it is literally the easiest thing in the world.

You care about your emotional comfort more than theirs.

>>37810024
I don't disagree with that, but cards themselves seem like such a pointless formality.

Cards work best if you're trying to write out an actual message to someone, or if it's a group signing, so they can look back at all of the names. A lot of random traditions and formalities are just done to stimulate the economy. "Oh it's Anon's birthday. Let's go get a gift card, a card to put the gift card in, and maybe go out to eat too"

>>37809978
I used to get annoyed/sad when I'd see friends comment on Facebook wishing other people a happy birthday, but never for me, even though I'd do it for them. Now I've just stopped caring either way. Don't even talk to most of these people anymore.

>>37810107
If you're trying to avoid spending money, a handmade card is far more effective anyway.

Really, any personalized gift is. The value is in the time spent, not in the gift itself. For example, if you're good at woodworking, a decorative trinket will be well received.

>>37809941
Not disagreeing, but hey, I went out to eat with them. I could've stayed at my friend's house. Don't think saying one simple sentence should really mean so much to them.

Another side to this is that because I know it's easy to do, I'm just being stubborn and not saying it, even though I know they want me to. It's not so much as disrespect towards them, but disrespect at the way I'm "supposed" to act. I'd prefer something more genuine, but idk if I care enough about them to be genuine. Sigh. I feel bad for them.

>>37809030
Words are powerful OP. It makes your parents feel good to know that you love them and care about them. Unless your parents are shitty, awful people (which you never said so I'm assuming that's not the case), they deserve your love and respect. They're some of the only people that give a shit about people like us. Just say it anon, as normie-tier as it sounds. It makes them feel good, and they deserve it for raising you and caring for and about you.

>>37810211

I should've just said it when I sat down at the table. After that, I just felt too awkward to

>>37810211

Fuck off, no one deserves love. You can't dictate how someone feels.

>>37810255
I understand OP. I know it kind of feels awkward. I know you didn't mean any harm by it. Next time just let them know, even if it does feel kind of corny in your mind.
>>37810277
>no one deserves love.
If your parents have loved you and raised you your entire life and are solely responsible for you not dying of starvation in a ditch, then yes, those people deserve love you selfish faggot. For many robots, our parents were some of the only ones that were there for us and comforted us in our worst moments. I could see if OP's parents were abusive, callous pieces of shit like some stories I've seen on here, but, to my knowledge, they aren't.

>>37810446

Most of us are robots because our parents sucked and exacerbated our autism.
Also the idea that people should somehow be forced to feel love because muh morals is turbo autism.

Telling someone they have to love their parents because they fed them, are you fucking serious? You're acting like people are dogs.

>>37810150
That's the spirit! I like to buy myself something nice on the week of my birthday and I appreciate it more because I know what I want. It is nice not having to risk your happiness in the hands of others.

>>37810446
>>37810507
I'd say it'd make more sense that they deserve our respect, rather than our love. Can't force someone to love someone else. Things are seen as weird or disabilities just because they deviate from the norm. Families might generally love each other because they're used to being around each other all the time. For me, I haven't really spent much time with my family, so it seems weird to assume things just because we're related. The bond was never there

>>37810591
Sounds good to me as well.

My mother would always get upset cuz I asked her to return random stuff she bought for me as a kid. To me, it's just recognizing that I know I won't get much enjoyment out of whatever she bought me, and returning it because I'm conscious of being wasteful with money. To her, I'm a selfish and disrespectful child

>>37809822
No. He's just autistic.

>>37810778
Would be interesting to see what a psychologist would make of me

>>37809030
Stop being obstinate and autistic, OP.

>>37810846
Psychiatrists diagnose mental illness, anon. Not psychologists. Psychologists just exist to talk about feelings

>your family got butthurt because you don't give a shit about ass kissing and going through motions

that's all i see here. this is why women are so successful also. they don't mind LARPing with people to get what they want.
i physically cannot LARP because my conscience attacks me for not having integrity.

File: b291263b8165f0a9ea8affc51f4bd507.jpg (27KB, 852x480px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 852x480px

>>37809030
Im scared of saying happy birthday too, what the fuck went wrong with us?

File: 15355134563.png (717KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

717KB, 800x600px

>>37809030
>>37810210
You are fucking retarded. Shit like this is the reason why the robot culture exists. Such an egocentric society. "It's all about me!" Kill yourself my man.


>>37810012

I hope you kill yourself non ironically. People like you are worse than SJWS,

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you guys. I bought my dad a sushi lunch for today and he enjoyed one of his kids picking up the tab for the first time.

Just think about it for ten minutes and do something. Dad just wants to see you care.

File: gfs_53389_2_10.jpg (59KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 1024x768px

>>37811694
Im too embarrassed to even say happy birthday to my father

>>37811867
Maybe it's time to do something that will make him proud. I was a shitheap from my teens through my mid twenties but now I'm actually on track my dad seems to like me most of the time.

>>37810255
Based off of your posts in this thread i think it might be helpful for you to try to see a psychologist in order to talk about your lack of explicit affection for your parents. Having a generally pessimistic view of the world (your being disappointed) and not having the motivation to try to rectify any issues in your life with tones of nihilism is exactly what described my situation when i was depressed, and having a professional to talk to made a world of difference for me and it may for you, at the very least its worth a shot as theres potentially huge upsides with downsides being only monetary in nature in comparison. I think it's also important to hop around different psychologists to try to find the best fit for you. Obviously bringing this up with your parents will be hard but i think itll be easier if you keep in mind that it could become a really positive turning point for you and if anything i think your parents would feel a sort of joy/relief in the prospect of you seeing somebody to try to better your emotional state and outlook on life.

Side Note: Seeing holidays as essentially a consumerist facade is, even if true a lesser part of the story compared to the fact that it is also a day of sentimental importance to those that love you and care for you. A big thing i learned is that i had the tendency to zoom out the scale of things to a detached, purely utilitarian/materialistic and impersonal and unemotional viewpoint when I had a sense of total nihilism as an adolescent but as I get older I sort of double back to see that there's not ever just one scale with which it is important to look at things (i.e. economically, mothers day as a day of consumerist significance versus individually, being the day devoted towards remembrance and appreciation which for mothers emotionally goes a very very long way for them, or can go the reverse as youve seen today