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I need some serious advice and this is the first place I'm coming because you guys make up the vast majority of my social life. inb4 normie get out
>Be me
>20
>physically attractive by almost all standards
>I lift weight 4 times a week and the other 3 days I do abs and cardio
>manager at a small business and going to community college part time
>always praised by my professors as the end of the semester about my potential for success
>very hard working (I've worked at my current job for 6 months and I'm already in charge of people who have worked there for multiple years)
>Use tinder to have strictly sexual relationships with girls (we basically fuck and that's it)
here's the problems
>I have literally zero friends
>people don't like being around me
>I try to fit in with people with what I perceive to be small talk
>after a while if the relationship goes nowhere I get resentful and stop talking to them all together
>regularly get called a dick, pretentious, rude, condescending, arrogant
>I don't know why but I just come off as very short to people, like I don't want them bothering me
>this is escalated ten fold at work because I'm trying to get shit done as quickly as possible and I'm often under a lot of stress.
>I've never had a relationship with a woman I've met in real life
>girl at my work had an obvious crush on me
>we set up plans to go on a hike
>she canceled day before (she had a legit reason)
>after that I started ignoring her and basically being a huge douche bag to her.
>realized I'm being a fucking dick but pretty much too late. Ruined a possible relationship with a girl I really liked
>can only be semi-nice to people if I'm putting in an extreme amount of effort which isn't always possible.
also relevant: Before you faggots asks me why I'm even here: I was a virgin until late last year when I finally fucked some whore from tinder within 20 minutes from us meeting.
How to fuck do I fit in?????
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>I get resentful and stop talking to them all together
Found the problem.
The world doesn't owe you anything, just be kinder to people, at least you can deserve to be resentful if things go wrong then, at the moment you're being a jerk that is getting what comes to you.
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>>37783171
I get frustrated by social interactions extremely quickly, it's hard to act as nothing happened when you get stood up.
>The world doesn't owe you anything
I'm aware of this, that's why I work my ass off in many aspects of life, when I don't see results I get pissed off
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>>37783138
>come off as very short to people, like i don't want them bothering me
then you probably are actually like that. you need to ease your demeanor and keep all your impatience, shortness, and irritation inside. You need to maintain a calm demeanor even if you're in rage mode. in essence, stop being a little shitbag.
>no friends
some of us are lucky and people invite us places. if you want to have a social life, become a nucleus of social activity. arrange a party and invite people. be the go-to guy for entertainment.
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I think you need to seperate the one dimensional attitude you have with work and studies (that are successful in this area) with the three dimensional beings that are other humans and their emotions and social interactions and relationships and all that.
While being inflexible in your work ethic gets the best results there, you beed to become flexible to the flaws that most humans have in order to realise/show empathy for them and build emotional connections with people.
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>>37783979
>you beed to become flexible to the flaws that most humans have in order to realise/show empathy for them and build emotional connections with people.
I don't fully understand this. What would this look like in an actual social interaction?
for the record I desperately want people to like me and be around me. I honestly try. I'm almost always the black sheep in any social circle I encounter, therefore I'm almost always ostracized in group settings.
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>>37784295
Im no expert on this shit, but heres my guess of an example
>girl has to back out of date for decent enough reason
>you see it like a supplier failed a delivery you need to your store that would restock important and on-demand items
>get pissy about it, when you shouldve understood humans are imperfect
again this is my shit guess at what it could be.
Also try not to show desperation when building up relationships, i know you might feel it but thats not the way forward
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>>37784577
Yeah but how would me being empathetic help me in that situation?
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>>37783138
be thankful you are good lucking,
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>>37783138
Read books, learn from them, sperg out trying to use the techniques you learned and refine them. Do you have a smartphone? Buy 'The Charisma Myth', 'How To Win Friends & Influence People', read some articles on girlschase.com. That's what I did in the 11th and 12th grade and I became normie status and everyone loved me. Then I graduated and it all fell apart, I'm trying to get back to the 17-year-old me.
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>i can have it all in life but i'm a piece of shit to everyone for.. reasons
Why is anyone giving this faggot advice? Die in a fire normie scum.
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>>37784295
Therein lies the problem mate. You can't make people like you, humans don't work the same way machinery or technology does. You seem like the kind of guy who likes things set and dislike changes to the plan or spontaneous occurrences, you like predictability. Excellent mind set if you are in the business world, and from what you said you are doing alright in that regard, but people are different and trying to find the secret formula for social interaction is a complete fallacy. My advice? Don't take yourself so damn seriously man. Try and go on more dates from some random chicks on tinder just to get some practice in and try to understand them, instead of you pushing the idea of how amazing you are into there faces, it will never work. Also, look around your work and see if you can understand what everyone is thinking, if they are in a good mood or a shitty mood or whatever, maybe even ask how their home life is every now and then. Keep practicing at these things and try and show some legitimate compassion to those around, and you will eventually make friends.
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>>37785293
Most useful post so far, thanks anon
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>>37785332
No problem. Also you if you are serious about actually making friends and expanding your social circle, leave this site and never come back, it will only weigh you down like a fucking anchor.
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