>4 years ago i renewed my license and I realized i could barely pass the vision test
>when i looked into the machine the left side was blurry, i paused for a second and squinted my left eye and was able to pass
>i was relieved that i was able to adjust but in the back of my mind i thought "you have 4 years before you feel like a nervous wreck"
>well, a couple months ago i started to look at the expiration date on my license
>realized that my eyes are probably worse and there is no way i will pass
>this was about 3 months before the date
>google what takes place in an eye exam
(i have never had one)
>uncontrollable anxiety boils in my stomach
>the thought of someone looking into the interior of my eye and finding something wrong makes me recoil
>put this thought on the back burner of my mind
>approach the two week point and I have decided that i will go to a wallmart vision center to get an exam
>do not drink the night before because i assume they will be able to tell
>park at the wallmart and walk in
>walk past the vision center and scope it out
>anxiety wells up inside me
>walk around the store acting like i am shopping
>make a couple passes and get the courage to walk in
>"hey i was wondering if you guys take walk in (i could never call in an appointment) appointments?"
>"no, the doctor does not take walk ins, would you like to schedule one?
>i mumble out some words involving not knowing when i will be available next, take a business card
>drive home relieved that i did not have to take an eyetest with a doctor, buy a 24 pack and some eggrolls
>mere days before they deadline and i have a day off from work
>i have been telling myself this is the last chance to get some glasses and pass the test
>get drunk again and rationalize that i can just get an early morning appointment at lenscrafters on a work day
>apparently they make same day glasses
>2 days before my license expires and i have convinced myself that some glasses i bought at a thrift store which happened to improve my vision will allow me to pass
>today i wake up after a night of chugging beer and stare into the dirty carpet as my mind races
>i realize the day has come
>my irresponsibility has led to this
>i could have gone to the eye doctor months ago and got this sorted out
>i put the thrift store glasses in my pocket and make sure my faucets are not running before i leave my apartment
>drive to the dmv
>say a quick prayer before i enter
>grab a ticket for service
>number 32
>my number is called and i say i need to renew my license to the clerk
>"all set, just head over to the wall for the vision test" she smiles
>i am a husk devoid of thought
>press my head into the machine and the letters on the left side are so blurry
>squint just like last time and i am able to pass
>my life has been consumed with worry for the last month and i just procrastinate and walk in on one of the last days
>feel relief wash over me