How are all you guys still virgins? I seriously don't get

>>37714621
I guess that's your sister.
Alabama?

Even cockroaches have sex

getting laid is not the end all

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>>37714621
>tfw she's a squirter
dicklets and brainlets will never get it

>>37714644
Even cockroaches can get laid and you can't. LOL

>>37714644
Well the alpha ones. The weak ones die a depressing sexless life on their backs in some shitty factory.


You ever see a flipped over cockroach on the floor or ground, give him a handjob, he's dying because lack of sex.

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>>37714621
>Well get ready cause I'm gonna

Damn dude bet she got so wet reading your erotic role playing

Im a fat manlet which makes me subhuman in womans eyes desu

No point in even trying to lose weight

>>37714621
>Lump me
>Ruhl big

Dude what

>>37714686
Everyone can get laid. The ones who aren't don't try.

>being such a loser you have to go to /r9k/ for sexual validation

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>>37714621
>Spank me and pull my hair
>You are lit

>>37714621
>posts a literal roeastie

>>37714621
>Doesn't post face

Besides we don't care to get laid, we care to be in a loving relationship

Saged, go fuck yourself opie

>>37714621
I absolutely despise hookup culture.

>>37715465
t. Can't get laid

You wouldn't despise it if you were actually attractive and could get laid regularly

>>37716217
Notice how that's the only retort you people ever have?
"He doesn't like to do drugs, he must not be able to get any!"
That's what you sound like. Your hookups are as hollow as your brain cavity.

>>37714621
im very awkward. a coward. a total bore to be around. im very awkward, creepy awkward. and years of excessive masturbation has made me worry about my ability to get and maintain an erection.

>>37714686
..he did kinda walk right into that one didnt he.

>>37714621
I'm a 34 year old virgin. Give me some tips good Chad?

>>37716753
not an argument senpai

My point stands, you wouldn't despise it if you could get it.

>>37718449
I could easily kill someone but I still despise murder. Not suicide though, you should strongly consider it. It's easy to do, so you should love it!

>>37718494
Nice to see you're still avoiding the point, just like the bitter virgin that you are. It's pathetic how sour grapes you guys are.

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>>37714621
>le emojis xDDDD
>Ur Lit
>using nigger terminology
You couldn't have made it more obvious that you're disgusting norman scum. Either that or this is all fake.

In either case, leave my board now/

So this is what it looks like when a retard tries to sext...

>>37714621
this tbqh
I was a non virgin before I even started posting here lmao

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>>37718994
>muh nigger terminology
>muh normans
>I'm such a special snowflake guys

>>37718926
why the fuck are you here then? holy fuck gtfo

>>37719206
/soc9k/ isn't for virgins anymore

>>37719194
>defending this Norman
You can leave too

>>37714621
yeahhhhh so you remember that southpark episode where they read the adventures of scrotty McBooger Ballz? Thats what your text exchange sounds to this here autist

>>37718926
Well then if you're soo cool and sex is sooooo easy for you why don't you fuck off, clearly you're insecure if you feel the need to validate yourself on the internet, or maybe you're just some self-righteous faggot who's deluded himself into thinking he can 'help' people. Go fuck yourself.

>>37719206
Why are YOU here? This board just isn't for pathetic losers like you and I think pathetic virgins like you need to wake up. Most of the dreaded "normalfags" you guys hate would be more than happy to help you guys but try to drive them away like the scum you are.

>>37719393
Bro, I'm just here to help some of my fellow guys out. I know some of the people here have been pretty down but I don't think that should stop them form learning the way. If you guys just got laid a bit more and had fun with people you wouldn't be so resentful and could maybe learn to enjoy life.

>>37719472
NO ONE ASKED FOR YOU FOR ADVICE OR HELP LMAO LEAVE. SAVIOR COMPLEXED FKN FAGGOT

>>37719546
Well fuck you bro. Enjoyself loathing and jerking off to anime while never knowing the touch of a woman and what it's like to be loved.

Peace brother, I'm >>>/out/

>>37719472
there is literally nothing you can do to help anybody you arrogant faggot

>>37719472
How the fuck do you think you're helping? You just posted a picture to stroke your ego and berated people for not being able to do something that's soooo easily. You haven't helped anyone.

>>37719660
You will die a slow, painful death after everything you thought loved you abandoned you.

Wait, why does OP think that a girl sextexting is the same as getting laid?

There are tons of sluts that love to sextalk people on the internet. If that is what you called getting laid then damn I'm a fucking chad.

>it's another Chad thunderdick thinks it's as easy for everyone to get laid as it is for him episode

>>37716217
The people that hate it the most are religious and have a bunch of kids though, they definitely get sex

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>>37719472
>being this fucking retarded
this has to be a bait

>>37720171
He's not even a Chad. He's just some faggot with a superiority complex who got a dirtt text for the first time in his life and that's convinced him he's set forever.

>>37714621
>you are lit

Get the fuck of my board and never come back you stinky normie

>>37714621
>two phones

>>37719472
bait for the bait gods

>>37719472
This is the shit I still come to /r9k/ for

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>"you are lit"
>Being so inexperienced you dont mention in full detail how you will please every part of """her""" body
Actual Chad here. Did you like just lose your vcard little buddy? Ok cool you had sex but honestly man bragging about it is not only 10th grade tier, it makes you look incredibly insecure not to mention doing it anonymously on an online Thai Cuisine tasting forum..

>Numerous women show interest/throw themselves at me over the years
>Totally sidestep them because it makes for a funnier story to deny a chick than to get laid

That's seriously it. When I was a teenager I made a kind of mental note to do whatever I thought would make for a funnier, dumber story later in life, and this is the result. I have had a chick push me up against a wall and tell me she needs "a good fucking", only for me to totally reject her because I thought it would be funny to see her reaction.

It was hilarious, by the way. She looked like she was about to explode.

You posted this on Reddit you absolute fucking faggot. Neck yourself.

>>37721607
Doing God's work anon holy shit. Got any good stories?

>>37721655
A bunch, though I've relayed them here before and people never believe them.

>Meet a chick through the internet
>We hang out in real life a bunch, drinking and watching movies at my place
>Months of this pass, it's clear she's trying to get into my pants to piss off a guy she knows
>Never falter, act absolutely clueless whenever she makes an advance
>Shut down any discussion of sex we have
>One night get a call from her at around 10PM
>She's tipsy and needs somewhere to stay
>Bored, nothing to do, decide to give her a lift to her place
>Drive and pick her up
>She goes to sit in the front seat of my car
>Stop her and make her sit in the back seat
>Halfway on the drive to her place, she changes her mind and asks if she can stay at mine for the night
>Whatever
>Whole drive she is talking about how horny and touchy feely she gets when she's drunk
>Tell her that's inappropriate
>Get to my place
>She immediately heads for my bedroom
>Grab her
>Turn her around
>"You can stay in the guest room"
>Her face looks a mix between offended and confused
>Make her sleep in the guest room and drive her to the train station the next morning at 7AM

It was fucking worth it.

>>37721565
>Thai cuisine tasting forum
Fucking lost it holy fucking shit

>>37714621
I'm a manlet (5'7"). Got any tips for me?

Don't say stupid shit like go for short girls. They can already get Chad's dick whenever they want, they don't have to stoop to the level of manlets.

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>>37714621
>you are a lit

>>37721743
today on things that never happened
larping is bad for you mentally, i hope you don't believe any of these stories you're peddling

>>37722423
Wear clothes that fit, groom, attempt to gain lean muscle mass. I am 6'4, my best friend is 5'8 and I can say through our discussions that the worst thing shorter guys can do is try to compensate for something they are insecure about it. Just look good and everything else will follow

>>37722466
I said you wouldn't believe it, and you didn't. What can I say? I feel like most robots would never be in a situation where a woman is physically close to them, so they find it hard to believe that other people actually have romantic/sexual misadventures.

>>37714686
cockroaches can rape, thats not legal for me to do, even though plenty of animals do it.

Rape should be legal if you get away cleanly. It would force women to actually have providers, not be blatant sluts, and would lead to better relationships.

>>37714621
>you are lit
What the fuck are you doing here?

>>37714621
>haha i'm so much better than thes virgins that i have to compare myself to them
You aren't fooling anyone.

>Spank me and pull my hair
>You are lit
You need to work on your erotic roleplay ability.

>>37719472
>pathetic
>losers
>self-righteous
>scum
>Bro, I'm just here to help some of my fellow guys out.
> If you guys just got laid a bit more and had fun with people you wouldn't be so resentful and could maybe learn to enjoy life.
Yeah, you're really helping us out here by calling us scum and claiming to be "saving" us, yet you hardly try to actually understand us at all.
Fucking normalfags I swear to God why must you post here? Either lurk and learn the "culture", or GTFO. Also, fuck you to all the other robots who gave this faggot (you)s. Idc if this post was over 4 hours ago I needed to say somethig.

>>37722423
The same thing as tall guys need to do to attract girls. Confidence, humor. At your height it's easier to look good, so if you are a skelly or fatty hit the gym. Also upgrade your clothing to one or two levels nicer.

>>37722934
Proving his point.

>reeee fuck you normie I want to be unhappy and a miserable piece of shit stop trying to help me

>>37714657
There is something comforting about feeling a jet of piss hit you as ur railin ur girl