oh dear my life is over at 20

What do you mean it's over? You've barely even started.

>>37629771
My life literally ended at 22, I'm ready to pull the trigger now, 3 year later.

I'm 20 too and just got my first gf.
Kissing is nothing like that.
When her and I kiss I just suck on her bottom lip with my lips, and she sucks on my top lip with hers. It feels silky, but lukewarm, and there really isn't much of a taste to speak of, its just a very faint skin like taste. You'll be too busy focusing on the kiss to focus on how it feels to touch her elsewhere, and my gf doesn't wear much perfume at all so I hardly notice it.

It isn't nearly as mind blowing as your pic describes it. Its really rather mundane. It feels nice, but it isn't pure ecstasy.