Hello, r9k. I've been both a long time lurker and poster,

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Hello, r9k. I've been both a long time lurker and poster, both on this board and among many others. I've learned too many harsh truths about the world around me, mainly through intense red pilling and personal experiences and observations. I used to hold basic conservative/Republican beliefs, but lately I've noticed that I'm beginning to shift in the direction of National Socialism, something I don't necessarily see as a bad thing but it's impairing my thinking. I'm at a crossroads in my life right now and I feel as if I don't leave this site soon I will probably kill myself, drop out of society or just give up all together.
I love you guys and I'm being completely honest when I say that. The problem is that my thinking and attitudes toward modern society are beginning to affect my actions towards others, primarily in social situations, and this site isn't helping me that much in the social department. Plus, I'm gonna state the obvious, this place kills people. Slowly, but surely. Although I am young enough to not have completely wasted all of my time on here, I've invested a good portion of my being and time into this site, and it's killing me.
I intend on leaving for a while (inb4 you're here forever), and I understand that I will be back. We all will. However, I want to do something for you guys. I want to spend enough time away from here and on my own that I can prove to you all that there is something out there for all of us and that life isn't necessarily as gloomy as most anons on here make it out to be. I'm seeking adventure and experience, but primarily a chance to redeem myself from all the wasted time.
I will return and inform you all of my progress. If I can do it, you can, too. If I can't, I guess I'll be stuck here with the rest of you, waiting for death to take me.

I need to make my life right, robots. If I can't do it, then I don't know if any of us will make it.