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>10 months ago a cute girl starts to work at my workplace

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>10 months ago a cute girl starts to work at my workplace
>too afraid to talk with her about non work stuff, but we help each other a lot we have a great work relationship
>1 month ago I decided that i will man the fuck up and ask her out
>every single day at work I want to tell it to her my hearts starts to beat like a madman, I start to sweat and I can't even say a word
>today I decided to do it, I entered her office (I was so nervous that I forgot to knock)
>she is looking at me with a wtf face
>"what do you want anon?"
>heart starts to beat again, I start sweating for some reason I say this bullshit
>"well.......i thought I forgot my glasses here (I didn't even visit her office today before this) but they are not here bye"
>I closed the door and I ran away

Why the fuck am I like this jesus, she is probably thinking I am a fucking idiot it is killing me.
>>
it's not as easy as you imagine ever
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>>37605963
How the fuck are the normies doing it?
>>
>>37606030
it's easier when you're teenager with friends

the girls are thirstier for boys

then you become degenerate and meet degenerate girls as adult

idk how people hook up at work, I keep hearing stories of people fucking on the job through flirtation

cocky guys just get it.

some people have the mojo
>>
>>37605763
As much as it might seem that way, anxiety doesn't exist to sabotage you, it's a useful and purposeful emotion. Your anxiety is telling you that you're bad at this, you have poor social skills, and you shouldn't do this. Social skills are a skill like any other in concept, but there are obvious differences in consequences.

If you're shit at violin and you're asked to perform at a public recital, your heart will beat fast, your palms will get sweaty, your mouth will get dry, you'll feel nervous as fuck, and the adrenaline will derail you. If you're a virtuoso at violin and you're asked to perform at a public recital, you might get similar symptoms to a lesser extent, but it will feel exhilarating and the adrenaline will help you perform better. The same is true for social skills, which is why you can't stop panicking while more capable guys genuinely get a thrill out of casual flirting.

When you're learning any skill, you have to recruit your frontal lobes to learn and gradually, over time, much of the effort is automatized to more unconscious parts of your brain. A new driver might not even want the radio on because they can't distract their frontal lobes, while an experienced driver does most shit automatically so can easily carry a conversation while driving. You're shit at social skills, so you frontalize all your social interactions and spend too much time planning out social interactions and then overanalyzing during and after social interactions. Good conversation should flow naturally, but that means you have to have enough skill and experience to have automatized social interaction like you have for riding a bicycle.

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>>
>>37606259
If you want to become a violin virtuoso, you have to be willing to put up with years of hearing yourself screech away before you can start performing pieces beautifully. If you want to improve your social skills, you have to willing to put up with years of being embarrassed, rejected, and possibly humiliated before you start sounding smooth. Aspiring violinists practice every day, they don't just think about practicing, visualize it failing, and then not practice, but then one time, they really work up the courage to practice and then they realize they sound like utter shit so they stop. They just fucking practice, because they know it's a gradual process.

You need to practice socializing, and that means getting outside of your comfort zone and putting yourself in social settings where you can practice. Will you fuck it up? Yes, and it will hurt more than fucking up at violin will, but having good social skills is also a lot more important than being good at violin. It's your choice. You can continue avoiding social interaction to save yourself the anxiety, but you should know that your anxiety will only worsen over time. Or you can actively seek social interaction and confront your anxiety, knowing that gradually your anxiety will lessen over time. Nobody is going to save you, there's no point waiting for that.

- Reformed robot/late bloomer normie.

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