/britfeel/

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Can't wait for the crusade edition.

Is a kit-kat a biscuit or a chocolate?

can we have a movie night now doxanon is back on his medication

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Dead, conquered country
Your people have no spirit and 0 desire to live

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Devon and Cornwall are secretly best friends

>>37602693
I don't understand what you're saying
Orange ale

>>37602697
>no spirit and 0 desire to live
Too right I don't

really like the OP image

hated it at the start of the year but you lads have really turned it around - good on you

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>get to the doctors
>they tell me I'm positive
No, not really, they said I didn't have an appointment despite writing it on the calendar before Eurovision started. Same thing happened to my sister. Have to call them on Monday now.
Fuck this gay earth.
Post waifus.

>>37602723
Oxfordshire is best county
Comfy countryside
High standard of living
Relatively good weather
Few poor people

>>37602590

Pakis out soon lads! Hahahaha. It's gonna be beautiful.

>>37602825
Brexit means more pakis you tit.

Going to start teacher training in September, what am I in for?

>>37602747
>they tell me I'm positive
HIV positive?

>>37602879
Fuck loads of bureaucracy

>>37602900
Yes anon, I have super AIDS now.

>>37602909
I thought you already had that?

Who here almost exclusively drinks squash? I'm 25 and i feel like a child drinking it but i love it.

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these lens wipes are so-so, they do a decent job cleaning but still leave streaks and stuff.

got some pre-moistened cloths too, haven't tried them yet

>>37602873

> Retarded paki who cannot read detected

Nowhere did I mention Brexit.

>>37602932
>squash

it's dilutey you yank

>>37602932
as long as it's Robinsons have at it

>>37602726

there was an anon that got really pissed of at everyone and started doxing other anons that joined /britfeel/ discord and steam groups and there's not been a movie night since

>>37602661
But the 1870s were better than the 1970s

>>37602938
Buy a cloth and a spray, you dumb fuck

>buy weed
>it's sativa

Well this isn't going to help me numb my pain.

>>37602693
Yes lad that'd be lovely. what do we all want to watch?

Have we gotten rid of the pakis yet?

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Give it to me straight lads, how autistic is this hat? I'm thinking about buying it.

>>37602959

good desu

you don't need a discord or steam group this is r9k not reddit

currently sweatting like a pig

who else /hyperhydrosis/ here?

>>37602938
Use those wipes along with a soft microfiber cloth la.

>>37603020
Why are you buying it now? It's summer

>>37603020
Very autistic
I want one

>>37603046
It looks comfy and I like it.

>>37603088
It's comfy and I like it but it's just an odd time to buy it

>>37603020
INUITS OUT OUT OUT

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>>37603020
very scott pilgrim

May has literally cucked a nation

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>urges to overeat are back

It is so hard to ignore. All my therapist said was "don't do it" which is just as effective as being myself desu. I just want a normal appetite~

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>>37602984
>>37603031
I had a pack of miceofibre clothes but they start adding dust and go streaky after 1-3 uses or they did for me at least

>tfw you'll never take advantage of tilde's desensitised gag reflex and shove your cock down his throat

>>37603186
>urges to overeat are back
You can overeat on my cock if you like

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Is it wrong that i like to play UFC2 just to beat up roasties on easy mode?

>irn bru extra
>no sugar

do i look like a fucking bender m8?

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>>37602959
I remember.

Still waiting.

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> 2 terrorist attacks
> Hung parliament
>UKIP support evaporated

Jesus Christ didn't realise the British public were this pathetic, stick a fork in us we're done.

>>37603186
Do it you deserve a good purge

>DUP politician Mr Wilson was talking to a member of the public, who said, 'Get the ethnics out', to which the East Antrim MP appeared to reply, 'You are absolutely right you know'.

Explain this one tory voters, We're going to have actual racists in power.

>>37603383
>> Hung parliament
What are you talking about

>>37603409
fucking FINALLY

get those STINKY paki rapists OUT NOW

>>37603317
Tried that the other week on accident, really wasn't feeling it

>>37602692
chocolate anon

anons help I don't understand and every other brit area is full of retards
how did angus robertson lose his seat
he's done literlaly nothing wrong in westminster and he lost to a literal who I don't fucking get it
Support can't be that fucking far down and the tories ran with ruth fucking davidson as their figurehead HOW I DONT UNDERSTAND

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Why do i never win the lottery its not fair!!!!

Thinking about ordering a chinese lads. I usually just get the chicken curry but feel like something different tonight.
Anyone got any good suggestions?

>>37603475

orange roasted duck

>>37603413
you know that election thing we had?

>>37603409
PAKIS OUT
WAIFUS IN

>>37603421
We're all sorry you got bullied at school by pakis lad.

But please contain your autism to /pol/

Wish you all the best xox

>>37603517
tell me why we should allow an invading army to remain on our territory lad?

>>37603475
Crispy shredded beef, chow mein noodles, and some salt and pepper wings.

>you will never get in the female fake taxi

>>37603409
Thank god, racists are the only ones who have a desire to survive

Can't believe all the students are calling this a win for Labour.

Conservatives (who are still in power) will get rid of May and replace her with someone better. And we're now in a coalition with ultra-nationalist right wing Irish unionists.

>>37603409
>We're going to have actual racists in power.
YES!!! Finally!

>>37603601
It's not so much a win for labour as it is a humiliation for the tories. However you spin it, this makes them look really bad, which is tremendously ironic given their posturing about strength and unity.

>>37603601
eh, if we're going to have right wing economic policy a bit of proper conservativeism wouldn't be that bad. Other than the anti-gay shit it's probably an improvement.
t. third pos

>>37603601
>someone better

literally who? the tories have nobody who you can legitimately say is better than the train wreck that is May

>>37603650
>literally who?
Adam Afriyie :^)

DUP leaders have decalred that:-

Islam is a satanic religion.

Most Muslims believe in terrorism.

Gays are most likely to be paedophiles.

>>37603601
>implying that anyone in their right mind would want to be in command of this shitshow of a government.

>>37603670
all of those statements are true desu apart from the gay one

muslims are most likely to be paedophiles, with gays coming second

/pol/ thinks Corbyn won....

>>37603737
/pol/ tries to think a lot, it's endearing

>>37603670
And they're correct.
Hopefully theyre wise enough to start hanging pakis instead of just deporting them to cause trouble elsewhere

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>>37603650

based jacob rees mogg and his autistic son

>Call Corbyn a terrorist sympathiser and accuse him of being soft on terrorism
>Go into a coalition with terrorists

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would you eat her arsehole raw?

>>37603809
>would you eat her arsehole raw?
Yes

>>37603801
>unionists
>terrorists
Pick one

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>SNP lose 21 seats
>Mostly to Conservative

I guess indyref2 is off the table now then.

Lol can't believe Scotland actually won it for the Tories.

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>>37603847
Those scots are on our side

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>>37603847

limmy on suicide alert

i'm going for lunch at around 1pm in shepherds bush tomorrow if anyone wants to join me?

Friendship ended with Wales

Now Scotland is my best friend

>>37603887
I can make that, lad. Where were you thinking of eating?

>>37603737
Good thing I quit /pol/ months ago.

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It's crazy how the metropolitan areas can almost hold the rest of the UK ransom with a Labour government.

>>37602879
Loads of hours and a lot of stress for not a fantastic salary. On the flip side, also immense satisfaction if you genuinely do enjoy it. Brother is a teacher and he seems pretty happy

Pls be a good teacher anon. A really good teacher can really make a massively positive impact on a kid, especially if they're the sort that might grow up to become a robot

>>37603913

i fancy some tapas m8. maybe a few glasses of sangria.

>>37603934
I made a infograph showing educational levels to regions and put it over the political map of the UK.

Guess what the below the bell curve education areas voted for?

:^)

>>37603953
I've never tired tapas before, I'm up for it
Just don't make it gay

Lads my current sleep schedule is me falling asleep at 6am and waking up at 3pm

How do I fix this?

>>37603973

is this a serious fucking question?

>>37603967
Having a degree in queer studies doesn't make you educated.

Going to cut up some potato wedges in a bit then I've got a pack of those linda McCartney mozzarella burgers that I'm going to do on the George Formby grill tonight lads

>>37603475
chow mein all the way
Usually I go chicken, but get a mixed meat one if you like all the meats, I fuckin love them

>Want to kill my self this week.
>If I do it now it will look like I did it over political bullshit I don't actually give a shit about.

Guess I will just have to go on living for a few weeks.

>>37604004
>Mixed chowmein

ie all the left overs

>>37603876
the fuck are ye oan aboot

limmy has been on suicide alert for fuckin years now

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It's already happening lads

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>>37603934
Sunday Isabelle Carl and me will get what we want

>>37604028
If only lad, if only.

>>37604029
imagine having a butthole on the back of your head

>>37604014
doesn't really bother me tbqh famalam, if you're getting a chinese you're either not worried about healthiness of have given up on it and it tastes good.

Let's face it, May is a fucking cunt and ran a terrible campaign. And Jihadi Jezz would be the best politician in the world if he didn't love pakis so much.

>>37604001

That sounds proper class, lad.
I've got some fishcakes, and some pizzas in.

Gonna get really high, bake a pizza and eat it.
Yep, that's the plan.

>>37604001
>linda mccartney mozzarella burgers
m8 I'm a meat eater but those things are fucking top, good taste

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>>37604105
I brought this picture of you back from the future, lad.

>be modern student
>be pro-immigration, pro-refugee, pro-abortion, pro-lgbt
>never ever vote
>this time vote for the marxist socialist who promises eternal gibmedats
>celebrate the exit poll
>the result of your votes mean Angus Robertson, Alex Salmond, Nick Clegg & Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh all lose their seats, also killing the hope of IndyRef2
>the result of your votes bring in a nationalist, anti-lgbt, anti-abortion, euroskeptic, creationist, climate denier unionist party with ties to supporting South African aparthied as the decision maker also reinforcing the chances of a hard brexit
>there is a slight possibility of Ian Paisley Jr. suggesting that dissident republicans should be "shot on sight." during PMQs

Why is does my homemade booze give me a headache lads?

>tfw you btfo someone so hard that they leave the thread

>>37604151
methanol poisoning
you will be blind soon

>>37604105
I put a little bit of oil on the wedges then crumble an oxo cube on mate its fantastic.

>>37604121
Yeah lad I eat meat but I started buying them for on the bbq so I didn't get the shits and ended up getting hooked on em

>>37604140

That lad is far too high.
He doesn't even notice he hasn't cooked the pizza.

Oh, you silly munchkin. You've got to cook the pizza first!

I will remember to cook it, though it's a shitty asda one, so I might as well eat it raw.

Is Tyskie a decent beer?

jesus fucking christ just had an absolutely insane shit

was sat in my chair when I got that awful pain in your intestines like it's about to blow from a build up of gas

rushed to the loo and what came next will shock you. had loads of dribbley bits of shit come out, and then that build up of gas that caused me pain suddenly exploded out and it was like a fucking hand grenade, and following it was a torrent of liquid shit. stood up afterwards and the bowl of fucking painted brown

I literally don't know what's caused this, this sort of shitting only happens when I eat very rich food for the first time in a while, like delivery pizza or something, but I haven't had anything like that this whole week.

anyway, had to hop in the shower and wash my arsehole instead of wasting paper on that mess

>>37604215
its really good lad, try it

>>37604248
Are you lying to me? Is he lying to me?

>>37604215
it;s good for the price I can get it
quite high alcohol content

>>37604142
>be mummy may
>be unelected official with terrible authoritarian policies
>call an election you don't need to call
>lose multiple seats for your party and open the door to liberal hell because it's preferable to you
we can blame conservatives and liberals all we like but we all know it comes down to tessie being a useless old cunt

>>37604215
I drink it for a laugh, not bad at all and its a laugh after you've had a few pronouncing the polish scribbles

sczyztbriekmin and shit like that, I mean what a language

>>37604263
im not lying lad. its tasty and smooth

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St-Stop talking about it.
It's not funny.
This is going to ruin my life I have no fucking chance now that we've given May all she needs to ignore us again

>>37604302
d-do you just want someone to give your country attention, anon?

work in an hour

I managed to get 3 hours of sleep, but I feel worse now than I did before
god I hope it's an easy night

>>37604302
>Snp are down
>Cunts actually voted Tories
>Labour did okay
SNP should have just fucked off with the indy shite.

>>37604345
It'll be reyt lad we're all rooting for you

life is so tiresome

>>37604345

what do you do to earn your corn lad?

>>37604280
What price can you get it for?

>Talking to a friend on Skype
>topic of heroin users come up
>he says "I dont get why they put all that shit into their bodies, all its doing is killing them"
>tell him thats a bit hypocritical since hes a smoker
>gets super defensive about it
>awkward silence follows, he says hes got stuff to do and leaves the call

>>37602960
>Child marriage
>Homosexuality outlawed
>Right to carry arms
>Right to duel in public
>Blasphemy laws
>Disease and plagues

what did the he mean by this

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>>37604320
Not really.
I'd like for us to be forgotten about so we can focus on our own issues and shit. If we could just accept that no, we're a small country and the effect we have globally will and should be minimal, maybe we could start working towards making this place less shit.
>>37604353
The SNP were elected on a manifesto that said brexit, if it happened, would make them re-evaluate everything. It happened, they re-evaluated, then they tried very, VERY hard to get the smallest thing from westminster about brexit, fucking anything that would mean we kept maybe an iota of the many fucking benefits we get from the EU.
And then we got fucking nothing so there was no option other than to call for a referendum because the SNP can't influence UK politics to that level, and westminster didn't allow them to influence Scottish politics because they don't have the fucking powers needed
fuck

>>37604431
I'd end up carrying around a pistol and then challenging every non white I see to a duel until I die

>>37604419
You are right, he is a fucking hypocrite.

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>binge eat
>go to bathroom to vomit
>normie sister and boyfriend standing outside talking

Hurry up and leave normans!

>>37604419
What if they don't mind that it's killing them? I hate the assumption that life is worth living

>the SNP polarised their voter base so much with the second referendum that we got a Tory government

And I thought I couldn't hate them more.

>>37604419
but tobacco and weed are SOOOOO NATURAL mannnnn

>>37604449
Don't do it Tilde, this is a blessing.

>>37604419
>tell him that's a but hypocritical since he breathes oxygen.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxygen_toxicity

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Anyone up for film night?

I've got dungeons and dragons on my google drive, downloaded it when it was up for vote fucking yonks ago and meant to watch it but never did.

Jeremy Irons hamming it up like a damn fool.

>>37604449

do you think he's creampied her today tilde?

>>37604445
you'd die within the hour you virgin lmao

>>37604527
I'd take a few with me

>>37604502
>Jeremy Irons
>Thora Birch
>Richard O'Brien
>Tom Baker

It's amazing what camp tripe you can produce when literally nobody gives a fuck

>>37604151
Are you the lad that made booze by leaving fruit in your room corner?

>>37604502
I recommended that movie back then! It's a fucking riot, I love it so much.

>>37604490
angry smoker detected

>>37604502
Reminder that ducks have dicks like corkscrews

reminder that women would rather fuck ducks than you

>>37604543
Camp tripe is the most banter worthy though, it's true.

>>37604564
Good choice lad. It's a right laugh even though it's a shit fest if I remember it right.

is lily allen the worst human on the planet?

>>37604449

I really hope you just said this as a joke, you were doing so well.

>>37604636
I dunno I think ISIS might be a bit worse lad

>cancelled going out tonight with some girls and my mates to finish playing my eroge VN

the absolute state of me

underwear reeks of cum and urine but I'm debating whether or not I should go for a walk or not...

>go to my private spot in the woods i use to lay in the grass by a stream and think about where it all went wrong while listening to music
>remnants of a fire and some cans of cider on the ground

guess i cant go back there anymore in case some normies turn up. why cant i have anything

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>>37604681
Made the right choice lad

>>37604681
Which one lad? I've played almost everything that's been translated.

>>37604731
>why is public property allowed to be public reee

>>37604731
Heres what you do ladio, leave a full bottle of lucozade or something there, guaranteed one of them will drink it

But poison it before you leave it there

new zealand getting btfo by some pakis in the cricket lads

>>37604731
mark your territory, lad

>>37603876
THE DEATH TOLL RISES

>>37604681
VN's are so boring though

the disabled one /v/ made was good though

>Get called a racist
>Tell them that I have a black gf

Always shuts the fuckers up 2bh

>>37604449

Did you try not being a fucking spastic? Like actually legitimately try?

Because as far as I see it you just binge eat then post about it on 4chan so people will give you false sympathy which just makes you do it more.

stop being a faggot for once in your fucking life.

>>37604848
you can still be racist with a black girlfriend

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>>37604765
Sabbat of the Witch lad
>>37604819
Katawa Shoujo? I don't think /v/ made that one lad

Look at all the leftists on normiebook demanding recounts and petitioning, Stacey's are bitching that DUT don't like abortions which threatens their party life style.

>>37604874
Good on you son

Iv been playing through Euphoria, having some pretty guilty feeling faps to that one

>>37604852
Its all fiction anyway, just ignore it

>>37604889
staceys need to go back to being burned at the stake

tilde lad, i need to know if your sister has been creampied by her bf today.

can you ask for me?

>>37604848
>Get called a racist
>Tell them that I have a black gf
>Get called a normalfag.

You missed a step guywithgf.

>>37604861
Just because we play cotton picker and the farmer doesn't mean I'm racist.

>>37604874
Are you playing in nip?

>>37604897
Try Starless next lad, I honestly did some of the best wanking in my spank career whilst playing it.

>>37604962
>Try Starless next lad
Already have, that was a pretty wild ride
>tfw your futa wife cucks you by impregnating herself instead of letting you do it

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>>37604889
>>37604913
Here's one from a local Chad but similar posts have been cropping up all over.

>>37604995
>tfw no ending where you find pure love with Marisa

Possibly the only bad thing I can say about the game

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>>37604914
I really appreciate your post anon and I'm so proud of you for asking!~
It's hard to say since I've been wage slaving but I think the last time was two nights ago!~
It makes me want to overeat because I'll never be a roastie like her dessy ~

>>37605049
why don't you binge eat the cum out of her vagina after hes done?

>>37605049

thanks tilde m8

this will be recorded in my creampie log

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Goooood evening, /britfeel/!
How are you all doing today?
What's keeping you busy?
Anal or Oral?

Hope you're all doing and feeling well today and are enjoying yourselves no matter what it is you've done today!

Despair husbando, how big is your willy?

Also is the anon who is a homosexual around?

>>37604626
Mallards are really sexually aggressive and have the biggest dicks.

Apparently many female ducks have genitalia the reverse of the Mallard dick to prevent MALLARDED.COM scenarios.

Then again, having a clockwise dick in a world of anti-clockwise females is a sort of metaphor for the Robot experience really.

>>37605043
>inb4 those two vans of postal votes were all conservative

>>37605101
>not "no matter who it is you've done today"
Weak, lad.

>>37605043
>Successful, happy, intelligent Chads are left wing

>Bitter, unhappy, stupid 4Chan losers are right wing

Hmmm....really makes you think

>>37605101
More void trembles. Please bring Len back

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Goooood evening, /britfeel/!
How are you all doing today?
What's keeping you busy?
Anal or Oral?

Hope you're all doing and feeling well today and are enjoying yourselves no matter who it is you've done today!

Despair husbando, how big is your willy?

Also is the anon who is a homosexual around?

>>37605101
Pretty good, nothing is keeping me busy
Oral, please

>>37605043
DUP have ties to the UVF and even via that, Saudi military intelligence who used them in some arms deals for Islamists in Pakistan in the 90s. These are the people telling Theresa May what to do now.

You might say that part of a peace process is moving on, if you can't let the men of violence stop being men of violence, how can you have peace? If only the Mail and The Sun hadn't banged on for 15 pages about Corbyn being a terrorist sympathiser on the basis of stuff that happened 40 years ago yesterday.

Hate having a penis sometimes, its so distracting

>>37605225
fuck off please poleaboo

>>37605219
Re-invasion of the republic then? Very nice

>>37605146
>Chads
>Happy

Lol chad has to work 60 hours a week as a security guard to pay stacies child support.

>>37605262
That's not a Chad.

Unless you're a student, you need to make 35k minimum to be a Chad.

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>>37602747
>Post waifus.

Is it better to host a website in The Cloud or just get a dedicated VPS lads

(asking for a friend)

>>37605219
It is outrageous that the government is cosying up to terrorists. First the Saudis and now this.

Really puts attending a memorial for dead IRA guys in perspective.

>>37605305
>a dedicated VPS

>>37605155
stop being so gay len

it's triggering my lack of bf feels

>>37605288
I feel this is a class issue. I know plenty of Chads who wound up being security guards and night shift workers in chicken packing plants etc.

The thing about working class Chads and Staceys is that by the time they are 30 they both look and act like they are in their mid-50s. Its already over. Being a normie is not necessarily all robots think its cracked up to be.

>>37605349
There's no such thing as a working class Chad.

>>37605338
>lack of bf feels
just add people on steam from here, its not that hard

>>37605324

It's VPS dedicated to one thing

Shut up, you know what I meant

>>37605067
I really appreciate your post anon and I'm so proud of you for suggesting that!~
I really like giving back to the britfeel community after you've all helped me over the past three years and I'd like to invite you all to creampie my stacey sister and let me binge eat the seepage!~

>>37605077
No, thank you anon! I really appreciate your post and I'm so proud of you for starting a new hobby!~

>>37605381
Yeah I know. I was saying get the dedicated VPS

>>37605391

o-oh

sorry

Thanks lad

playing Wario Land 4 on an original GBA, modded with a backlight

what y'all playing

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>>37602747

the quite nice lad

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>>37605390
Thanks tilde! you are such good motivation!

Will you be my boyfriend and force feed my greggs sausage rolls?

>>37605437
Neat. I got that for free on my 3ds. It's pretty fucking good

>tfw working class poorfag
>thinking about buying our council house
>get valuation done
>620,000 bennies

haha wow

>>37605365
This. The working class don't have Chad we have Big Dave and his Steph

>>37605452
Hmmm. Where is your council house? I might buy it

>>37605468
east london m8

>>37605453
Yeah the only exception is someone from a working class background who works as a trader in the City or something.

>>37605443
>Greggs
It would be nice to have take home sausage rolls I can't even think start to think about the coin he could make if he had friends

>>37605450
sure is, I got stuck twice though because dumb
I love how Nintendo put GBA games on virtual console for a brief time and then removed it for no good reason

they can play advance games on there but why let us

>>37605437
oldschool runescape, it's pretty comfy

>>37604004
I did actually order a chicken chow mein. It was pretty nice, if very salty. Feel like my hearts going to give out after all that.

>>37605516
The Ambassador program was nice. I like seeing zelda fanboys demand minish cap on virtual console but I got it for free

Found out yesterday that there are false paedo accusations about me going around the area.

How can I prove to people it's not true?

>>37605602
>How can I prove to people it's not true?
You can't. It'll burn like a wildfire

>>37605602
Hope you're not lynched by the locals anon

>>37605602

Are you a paki?

If so, well, they're probably not false accusations.

>>37605602
How did this start lad? Afraid to say but rumours of this nature kind of stick with someone for life

>>37605602
Move anon, it's too late.

>>37605611
>>37605642
It already has. An old friend of mine when I was at school turned up at my door yesterday and asked me to come in.

I invited him in and he explained to me that people in the local pubs are talking about me in this way.

After he left I phoned another few people I went to school with. They said they'd heard the same thing. One of the guys I phoned, his mum answered, and even she confirmed it.

I don't even know what has caused it.

>>37605624
Me too. I phoned the police station and they just said "we'll keep an eye on it." I'm sure that means they'll do fuck all until I've got an ice pick in the back of my head.

>>37605639
No. White UK straight.

>>37605649
I can't afford to move anywhere.

>>37605602
>>37605661
you in two weeks

MOVE

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2478285/Innocent-man-burned-death-vigilante-neighbours-mistook-paedophile.html

>>37605602
there's no smoke without fire lad

>>37605661
Anon you need to be in another county asap before you get a brick through your window

Hell make use of the EU and move to Bulgaria or something. But if your local community has collectively decided you're a nonce, then it will only take a tiny thing to set people off.

>>37605691
haha so people say they went too far but it was just bants

>Amazon logistics parcel has been "out for delivery" for 1 hour
>need a wee
>must be able to answer the door at a moment's notice

Also what the heck are they doing delivering on Friday evenings? Has this happened to anyone else here?

>>37605661
have you ever seen the movie "The Hunt"?

>>37605691
This is terrifying. I wonder if I can borrow some money to move.

>>37605697
I am high functioning autistic. I suppose this is the "fire" that has caused this "smoke". I have no sexual interest in children. The ironic thing is that my sexual interests are totally contrary to the accusations. Rather than being attracted to young girls, I am actually almost exclusively attracted to older men.

>>37605702
A brick through my window isn't what I'm worried about. More concerned about a brick through my head.

Any ideas how I can move without money? All I get is my autism bennies and it's not enough to go anywhere. Do you think I could get a US visa for autism?

>>37605750
Yes, the Danish one right? Great movie. That was a little different though - he was a kindergarden teacher and a specific child was accusing him. As far as I know, no specific child has made an accusation against me, and I have no access to children anyway.

>says she endeavours to update me on my application next week
>this was four weeks ago
>check the site and the position is still unfilled

Just tell me yes or no for the love of Jesus

>>37605691
How does even happen in the UK. Set on fire wtf

>>37605791
>I am actually almost exclusively attracted to older men.
Get an old boyfriend then

>>37605661

Your fucked then lad.
Make sure your ass is lubed for prison.

>>37605791
>Any ideas how I can move without money? All I get is my autism bennies and it's not enough to go anywhere.

You'll get bennies in another town anon

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>>37605791

> I am actually almost exclusively attracted to older men.

I found a great date for you.
He'll satisfy you in bed, AND no fucker will mess with you while he's with you.

>>37605804
because pedos are the great bogeyman

the media whip up public hysteria and then you have lynch mobs responding with attacks on innocent blokes like >>37605691

>>37605305
I have a VPS, but it's not really designed for hosting a websites.

>>37605661
So how many days until this plot has some retarded unrealistic twist just like all the other ones?

>>37605810
I don't know anyone, and trying to meet guys in the local area would probably be very difficult now.
>>37605812
I don't think there's any chance of me going to prison. The police were very nice and they said there was no suggestion from them that I am a criminal. But it was also clear they aren't willing to spend resources to protect me.

>>37605830
But how do I get the money together to get a deposit on a flat and stuff?

>>37605856
I don't understand what this means, are you talking about the film the other anon mentioned? At the end the child admits that she was lying.

>>37605872
>I don't understand what this means

Anon believes that you are like poleaboo, a frequent poster in this thread who had an equally outlandish story of woe who dragged that story out for years with increasingly bizarre plottwists which he adamantly claimed were real.

In a nutshell, without proof, nobody believes you and we're only playing along because it's friday night and we're bored and lonely

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Welcome to the weekend again lads!

As ever, Saturday is the last day of the week for me so I'm inviting people out in town once again. It'll be around 1730 in town once I get off work. The designated pub seems to be The Angel Inn, but I'm open to other suggestions as always.

I remember there was some interest in taking up the food challenge at Meat Liquor, which revolves around eating a burger, hot dog and chips covered in jalapenos within 12 minutes. 25 quid if you fail, free if you succeed. If this is what we go with, I'll avoid eating all day to work up a sufficient appetite. I don't plan on losing. Pic related is the challenge.

Finally there's karaoke and free shots down the Bridge Inn gay bar if you're feeling adventurous.

Let's have a show of hands. Last week fell through, and it'd be a shame to make it twice in a row. If there's a pub you'd rather then feel free to speak up - Angel Inn seems a bit busy anyway.

https://youtu.be/qN4ooNx77u00000000000000017

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Sorry desu lads, I let you down~

But six days is still pretty good! last time was four so next time should be even longer desu! and I think this time was mainly caused by the fact I ran out of fluoxetine as well. Going to try even harder to go a whole week desu!

I really am sorry to all the lads who believed in me. Hopefully 7-8 days is possible~

>>37604904
>fiction

I wish it was desu~

sorry my handwriting isn't nicer,
not sure if it will even be visible because my phone's camera is awful

>>37605049
ignore bullying impostors desu!

>>37605910
My story isn't anything like poleaboo. Also his story didn't have any bizarre plot twists.

What proof could I provide for this? I didn't record any of the conversations.

>>37605945

gross

Sort yourself out and clean your room

>>37605910
Its less thinking of Poleboo and more the other characters who stick around for a week or so before getting called out like like the guy trying to bang his mum or the service station bender.

>>37605923
>12 minutes

At that point it isn't even about appetite, it's just about sheer speed.

>>37605945
Come on lad we didn't need to see that
Good job breaking the record though

>>37605962

Don't worry. Police will have.

Go there and ask for a statement.

>>37605981
Does that mean you're feeling brave? My personal best is a bolognese made from 500g of beef mince in 5 minutes. I reckon I could hack it.

>>37605973
>before getting called out like like the guy trying to bang his mum

if you mean me (i tried to give my mum a massage to lead to sex) then i didnt get "called out" and i didnt go anywhere

there just wasnt any more to add to the story. my brother lent me 1200 to get me back on my feet after my gran kicked me out, i got a flat and now i work in a call center

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>>37605945
was expecting this pic to be a nice handwritten love story or something or maybe that gorrila in milk tilde

>>37606017
Nah it's more that I don't think I could do it, even if I was starving, because even just getting that amount of food down your throat in 12 minutes needs special techniques and wouldn't be fun at all. I'd rather just pay the 25 quid and enjoy it. Or just get a normal burger and fries and enjoy that.

Meat Liquor is great though. One of the best burgers I've ever had. Only been to the one in London, didn't know they had them elsewhere. Guys behind it must be doing well, they started off with just a van in a car park.

>>37606054
Never been myself. So are you down for for food but not abject gluttony?

Cleaning my room for the first time in 5 years.

I've bought 270 detol wipes to help me get through this.

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watching a spider wander around my windowsill lads

>>37605835
>Under the terms of the order, Arobieke was banned from touching, feeling, or measuring muscles; asking people to do squat exercises in public

Is this /fit/?

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>>37606045
Milk Cat 79

>>37606083
Would definitely join you if I was in Leeds. I'm at the opposite end of the country sadly.

I always fancied going drinking in Leeds though. What is that pub crawl called there, the one all the students do?

>>37605945
>tilde has massive fuck off brick layers hands

illusion ruined desu

>>37606086
You'll feel fantastic lad.

I've never left it 5 years but I have sometimes gone six months without cleaning and when you clean it all up and get it perfect looking after that, it feels amazing.

>>37606110
I'm afraid I have no idea about that. Still, thanks for the willing. Maybe one day.

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Did that lad ever buy his watch?

>>37606149

He couldn't afford it, so sucked a dick for cash.

>>37605155
bit brazen of you tbqh lenlad, not used to you being so open about the gay

don't much care for it desu, sullies my image of you

WTF i hate lenlad now

>>37606161
This is more of the impostor meme, I think

might take a pic of my next shit with a timestamp to stand in solidarity with tilde

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her
>qt boyfriend
>rich
>well adjusted and happy
>having the time of her life

me
>alone
>depressed
>social anxiety so bad I can't hold a conversation
>schizotypal personality disorder
>CBT didn't work
>no friends
>family looks at me with disgust

is it time to hero? thank you for reading another wonderful installment of my blog

>>37604179
just grate some cheese on it lad

100% better

>>37606212
Do you have a suicide plan already?

>>37606212
What's the point in comparing yourself to an actress?

Plus you don't know if she's well adjusted and happy and having the time of her life. She could easily be fucked up and miserable.

>>37606212

>child actor
>well adjusted and happy

nah m8

>>37606233
ofc this is not true GCHQ
>>37606237
>>37606247
why would she not be? She's dating the boy she grew up fancying

My docs(S H O E S) have started getting a bleached look on the toes. HAve they got aids?

>>37606300
yes, you'll have to amputate and turn them into some open-toed oots

>>37606300
yeah they got AIDS

>>37606274
>why would she not be? She's dating the boy she grew up fancying

You've obviously never been in a relationship if you think that it automatically makes you happy.

>>37606343
if you have a group of people to love you and a purpose in life you have no right not to be happy.

normies wouldn't be able to walk a mile in our shoes lads.

>>37606364
I have a group of people who love me and a purpose in life and I'm not always happy

No one is always happy. It's not a "you have no right" thing.

>>37606367
stop feeling so fucking special

>>37606367
I wonder how long a normal person would last as a robot before killing themselves.

>tfw trolling children on /a/

i am so bored

>>37606367
not an inch

>>37605923
>Finally there's karaoke and free shots down the Bridge Inn gay bar if you're feeling adventurous

f-first byte official Applel axe that ISOP official lad~

>>37606416
I have absolutely no idea what you're attempting to communicate here our kid

>>37606300
no but seriously what should i do about it they look pretty ridiclious

>>37606300
wear and tear. it's what is called breaking in your docs. they won't stay pristine forever. keep mashing people's skulls into the pavements with them and they'll look even more radical than before.

>>37606518
they're old man, they are already broken in. Is bleaching at the toes anything to be worried about? I think it may be to do with the rain

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Just had some laxatives, time to go to bed before I make today even worse~

Have a good evening boys, remember not to give up!

>>37605982
Vomit is not really digusting, though I think I should have put a warning. Sorry lads~

And thank you anon! Not even three months ago I was vomiting multile times everyday and now it is pretty much a weekly thing! Very proud of myself. I really hope you are making progress with your endeavours~

>>37606045
S-sorry, maybe I will write you a love story another time ebin~

>>37606123
What?! They are not like that anon! Please don't make fun of me!

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>3 people IRL have asked me if I'm autistic
>including my counsellor who I see for depression

I don't think I'm autistic, I just don't talk to normies and don't like going outside, and maybe I do some odd shit
how easy is it to get on ESA with autism? I'm on it for depression anyway (no assessment yet)

>>37606548
come to think of it... my last pair started bleaching at the front once all the leather had worn away. but i just coated the toes with black shoe polish and it seemed to do the trick albeit temporarily. all hope is not lost. what style do you got?

>>37606602
>image.jpg
assessment in, you're a fucking phone poster

>>37606602
Depends wholly on who you get
the lady I met was lovely in person then gave me 0/10 in all fields on possible "needs help" points
fucking whore
because I went there "on my own" even though my mum was with me????
because I could fucking tal;k to her even though I was fucking gouging at my arms because I can't help myself from scratching constantly until I fucking bleed
because she gets fucking paid more if she rejects me for help
CUNT
WHORE FUCK YOU

>>37606439
the world is colapsing in om me leeds lad
I had one chace to buy in a whale fin
splashing an frothing the a sound im glad
hours before hitting the bed the walruse said

roots at the bottom of the sea i complaint i'd paye sea sea
is normal what you seek to see

>>37606123
>those skelly things
>brickie hands
He'd be fucked after half a day of bricklaying with such soft skin and teeny muscles.

>>37606630
Original style? They just look like generic docs. I got them second hand, so I don't know.

>>37606649
fuck off downie, my PC died a few months ago and my laptop is charging

How many hours and days did people work under communism? I have googled this but nothing came up.

>>37606674

.

.

https://youtu.be/7fIucqqC-Ms

Wish it would storm again so I could go drown myself in the sea and have it be less likely to be considered suicide.

>>37606561
Come work with me I want to watch you try to carry a 130kg roll of vinyl.

>>37606734
I wish a man would break in to my house and rape and murder me.

>>37606757
I would come to work with you but I couldn't lift that, it is almost three times my body weight~

You must be super strong desu lad!

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>tfw my neighbours dementia has gotten really bad and he's trying to escape the house
>tfw his wife had to barricade herself into her room last night

>>37606791
Why rape you? If you just need someone to bum you I am sure it would be easy enough to find a bender who likes to be rough.

>>37606829
Not really. Everyone I work with can lift those rolls one way or another.

>tfw just woke up.

what is my life lads.

>>37606829
lmao you weigh 40 something?
me too

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>>37602590

This is the original niceness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-BzDDHOn3M

>>37606694
I imagine 10-12 hours would have been standards. It was actually a capitalist (Ford) who came up with the 8 hour work day

I did overtime at work again

It was double time but I did it because I didn't want to go home

>>37606861
a mess lad, an utter mess
welcome to the club

>>37606849
Sad feels anon. Would hate to end up like that

>>37606561
its true, ebin has nice feminine hands I bet
yours look like you punch down trees for a living

>Really gay looking gitaroo man poster comes today
>mummy tells me to frame it
Does she know?

>>37603517
Reported for extremism

>>37606908
That you're bent? Undoubtedly, la

>>37603413
Literal retard. Are you posting from under a rock?

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>>37606561
Post your forearms, or bare legs.

>>37606949
>la
Who's the real bender here?

>>37606974
there's a scouse poster in the thread who feels the need to go against the grain and identify himself. It's pissing me off.

Watching The Last Leg on C4

>>37605945
have to admit i expected smooth hands not wrinkly old man hands

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fell for the "go for a walk" meme lads, i'm sweaty as fuck now and can barely think.

I'm super nice and considerate but people keep looking at me rudely, like a family in the middle of the path so I walk off the path to walk beside them so they don't have to make adjustments yet they look at me with disgust and worry, same with everyone else.

got to the park and started crying like that wojack image while walking past happy families, I wasn't really upset though so I don't know why it happened. Then there was 3 little kids playing near my house so I couldn't cut across the grass, I eventually did and they kicked a ball in my direction and said "watch that man" was a bit upset desu. Think i'll only go out when its dark or really early morning, can't be dealing with these normies. Its mental anguish.

>>37606907
not sure about that lad, tilde has wonderful hands.

>>37606907
I really doubt that, he probably has sausages for fingers.

>>37605945
Is that poo specks in there too?
Jesus Tilde

>>37607022
nah my hands aren't fat I think, bit rude

>>37607022
No shit. Majority of NEETs are fat losers who've let themselves go

>>37607034
post your hands ebin

>>37607005
The vomit exposure has made my hands not so nice. I am quite self conscious and embarrassed about them desu~

>>37606694
There has never been anyone who has lived under communism.

Communist countries had the eventual goal of transitioning to communism. They weren't actually communist when they were functioning. So it's a meaningless question.

>>37605155
>Goooood evening, /britfeel/!
Alright la' how's it gone yersel?
>How are you all doing today?
Weird state lad, happy but sad at the same time.
>What's keeping you busy?
Listening the Trainspotting 2 OST (outside of the last half hour of the film it's the only good thing about it.) And I've started to write again, but gonna have to stop as got work in an hour. Hopefully I still keep the creative mode when I get home.
>Anal or Oral?
Oral lad, not a gay, but love going down on birds.
>Hope you're all doing and feeling well today and are enjoying yourselves no matter who it is you've done today!
Did the wee goth bird again. Been fucking her mindless. Feel like the chances of me and the wife getting back together are fucking bleak now.

>>37607079
I was going to ask you if you fucked her again.

You think you'll be getting with her now?