IDEAL BOYFRIEND THREAD

Get this faggot shit off the board, put your shitty mspaint comics on /lgbt/.

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yeeee
I stole this but I'm sure it applies to other people's ideal bf too

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heres the template guyyz

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>>37590197
original comfy bf coming through

>>37590348
the only reason you're not on twitter right now is that no one will upfave your shitty frogposting

why don't you find some other culture to leech off

>>37590743
plebe beardman/10

>>37590820
I just want a comfy big bf who makes me feel like a girl and a beard and strong arms are essential to that aesthetic

>>37590820
Lel, redditors tell 4channers to go to twitter. Both of your shitty meme sites suck. You obviously just want to attentionwhore so why don't you just stay on those sites that have usernames and 'upfaves' and frogposting if that's all you come here for?

>>37590197
nightcore is fucking garbage

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What a shitty thread. This probably deserves some kind of award. Maybe /b/could do a case study on it.

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Not my ideal bf, but me

Maybe some day I'll be someone's ideal.

>>37590981
You know, regular spanking has to be horrible for your skin.

>>37590743
This is ironic isn't it. People don't actually like guys like us.

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>>37590197
my thread contribution

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Originaricle

>>37591686
>furry

Fucking kill yourself dude.

>>37591796
Chill I'm planning on it soon

>>37591820
I recommend expediting your plans. Put them on the fast track.

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fap fap

originali

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>i just want him to have a quirky personality and like anime like i do XD
>also anything less than this is subhuman =O

welcome to the real world boyo's

lookmax or lay down and rottttttttttt

all korea everything. nothing but korean beauty products touch your face, as anything non korean belong in the trashcan

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It's hard to find a proper man these days

Weirdly enough my ideal is a copy of me me with long hair, and boobs. Can't decide on the vagina or feminine benis.
I can only think of loving myself desu.

>>37591126
it was made by a trap and he probably imagines that bf as a quirky 8/10 shut in chad

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>>37591126
no, I w-want a man like that...desu...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFnJMPQow7A

in korea we trust

what u know about he densest plastic surgery rates along with the highest skilled surgeons

>>37591126
You'd be surprised. There's just social anxiety preventing us all from meeting and getting married.
We'd get along perfectly with each other. Most people on this site are the same personality type.

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>>37590197
I play boomy and ww. Too bad 2v2 is cancer, unless its double fps then its bearable

>>37591997
I unironically dated someone like that for a while. He was an asshole but his dick was huge and he was really good at pulling off that "asshole, but still alluring" aesthetic.
Eventually I was only really staying because of the dick, though.

5/10 wasn't really a good time.

>>37590743
Why does he have doodoo all over his face?

>>37591997
>car is Lightning McQueen

>not one of the planes from Planes

0/10 would not dance with the angels with

>>37590743
Pretty much me.
Be my bf.

>>37592153
>>37591997
Normies you're all going to hell.

>>37592153
>I unironically dated someone like that for a while
of course u did roasters, all females "date" chad

>5/10 wasn't really a good time
he has options you dont

now off to find a nice stable zedditor with you

>>37592089
>>37592137
Maybe I'll hold off a few more years before killing myself then.

>>37590361
>genkiness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAjuEGoWCWk

>>37592177
i wonder if hell is simply being reincarnated as a real robot

i think about god all day. honestly i think theres a chance i might even ascent and refuse to slay simply because god said its bad. i dont know which im more terrified at, being incel forever or god wrath. literally just be the most aesthetic vocel alive

>>37592205
Imagine appearing before your ten year old past self.
Are you going to tell him that you take sexual matters so seriously that you'd kill yourself over them?

Your edgy ten year old self would probably angry that you're so horny.

>>37590197
pretty close, except wow is boring trash now.
also you probs uggo

>>37592177
>>37592188
Joke's on you guys I'm not even a woman,
I'm just a massive faggot who dated an asshole in secret

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>>37590197
>>37590361
>>37590384
>>37590743
>>37591052
>>37591410
>>37591921
>>37591997
im gay but these all sound terrible and like the male equivalent of basic bitches who wear yoga pants and drink starbucks

>>37591686
HNNNNNNNNNNGH
>tfw i actually do have skirts for other guys to try on theyre a little short on me also im a filthy black/white mutt too

>>37590743
tfw no boring gf
literally the hardest part is having to pretend to be a normie becasue i have no personality

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my ideal boyfriend would be an adult version of steven universe
>can cook
>loves adventure
>sensitive and kind
>loves animals
>big squishy boi
>knows how to live comfy

>>37592243
It's not sexual matters. My ten year old self was far more hornier than my current self.
It's a life of loneliness that drives one to suicide.

>>37592338
I was dreading this reply.
My younger self hated girls though.

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All I want is a life partner. A fire buddy. We don't have to cuddle; I think I'd be uncomfortable with that too. Banging would go well beyond that as well. I just want a mutually supportive partner. Sleeping together --in the most literal sense-- is a bonus, but more as a reassurance that I can sleep next to someone who I don't need to fear than as someone I can fondle who'll fondle me back. In fact, getting fondled sounds nice, but I know I'd hate it since I did get fondled once and hated it.

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GUESS WHAT GUYS, I MADE ONE OF MYSELF

>>37590348
>20
Yeah damn

>>37592441
furfag leave

>>37592441
Post your fucking belly button you fat piece of shit.

Only your belly button.

>>37592467
...Did you see the other pastas? I enjoying showing people horrid walls of text as I find them.

>>37592275
>>tfw i actually do have skirts for other guys to try on theyre a little short on me also im a filthy black/white mutt too
Wanna make black/white/white/black sandwich with frilly pink sauce?

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>>37592490
I'm getting compensated for this, right?

>>37592615
Yes you are. Go get yourself a cookie. You earned it.

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>>37592530
Sorry, my favorite skirt is beige tartan or whatever, and my too-small cheongsam is bright yellow. Pink as a primary part of a color scheme is for pansies; pink is for trims or accessories only.

i only want to make the most wholesome kind of sandwich, let's lay in the grass like snakes

>>37592441
>*smacks lips profusely* SO HOL UP HOL UP *steals* SO U BE SAYIN *gets jiggy wit it* SO HOL UP U BE SAYIN *eats a skittle* AYYYOOOO SO BE SAYIN *checks for nearest KFC* U BE SAYIN *collects welfare* HOL UP HOL UP *licks teeth then smacks lips* SO U BE SAYIN *opens up a 40 and
you had me at "*opens up a 40"

>I made some new Mario Maker levels for you to try
i dont even play mario but do love level design

>>37592418
Fondling is a requirement not a bonus.
Fat chance with those frigid standards.
How would you love without cuddling and shit?

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>>37592682
I wouldn't; I'm that oxymoron of a frigid whore

I want a safe hug but feel hugs to be unsafe

>>37592648
But I already had three cookies today ;~;

>>37592738
Only three? I've had three in the past hour and I'm like, half your weight if not less. Do you WANT to lose your trademark belly?

>>37592720
That's a deal breaker for me buddy.
I have to touch various parts of your body every few hours. Not talking about your balls and penis.

>>37592676
I really like red plaid hehe :3

Is it possible to sleep in another boys arms without it becoming sexual?

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Every time I post this someone insults the perfect bf, but it's okay. His feelings aren't hurt easily.

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i made one of myself but i know that femanons have just as much unrealistic fantasies as robots do and want a guy whos quirky and tall and has the exact same tastes and interests as them and has a big dick and a lot of money

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>>37592780
>I have to touch various parts of your body every few hours. Not talking about your balls and penis.
Sounds threatening. I don't like it. I do crave touch, but get spooked by it easily.

>>37591997
t. mgtow larping as woman

>>37592939
>lets smoke a bowl
>arm scars
>drunk again sorry
>do you love me/hate me
>sorry sorry sorry sorry

Do you ever reflect on how shitty you are as a person?

>>37592842
Only after you fuck the shit out of him.

>>37592939
>let's smoke a bowl
>I'm drunk again sorry
These two turn me off because you're a junkie. But otherwise you're absolutely delicious.

>>37592852
Nerd bf?
Interesting. Almost my cup of tea desu.

>>37592978
>Do you ever reflect on how shitty you are as a person?

>>arm scars
>>drunk again sorry
>>do you love me/hate me
>>sorry sorry sorry sorry

seriously im with that guy. you sound like a terrible boyfriend. like youve got BPD or something. At the very least you seem oppressively needy

>>37592275
>HNNNNNNGH

Still freaking out that someone had this reaction to me, I live in an area where my type of person is essentially considered garbage.

>>37592978
>saying sorry is a shitty thing
Not that guy. But being sorry is the sign of a good person.

>>37592758
>Do you WANT to lose your trademark belly?

If it were as easy as pressing a button...

>>37593029
Being sorry is good.

Constantly apologizing for fucking everything is bad and annoying. He's being an overdramatic self-deprecating shitter.

>>37592991
Yes. Admittedly, his appearance and some of his quotes were made to resemble Vernon Potts from Horror High (1974). I had a huge crush on Pat Cardi after seeing it.

>>37592976
Probably because you don't trust anyone yet.
I'm not threatening. I'm pretty much a small underweight person.

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>>37590197
would any of you have me?

>>37593029
being sorry isnt enough

you have to correct your mistake

it doesnt seem like youd correct your mistakes rather than just continuing to say sorry

>>37593026
you seem fun. 8/8 would go shooting with

>>37593061
A bit too reddit basic for me but personality is ok i guess.

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>>37590197
This is actually my oneitis right now
I think he's straight though
;_;

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>>37592991
>>37593053
Oops, pardon me. Forgot the pic.

>>37593087
Girls wouldn't find him attractive but we would.

>>37593105
I'm confused. He is most definitely attractive to women.

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>>37593059
>Probably because you don't trust anyone yet.
to be fair, why would I

anyone into me beyond basic friendship seems to just want to fondle me and thats it, and I'm yet to find someone I'd trust to not rat out my various failures as a human being

>>37593061
A lot of you seem boring.
You guys must have opinions on things once you open up at a least.
If you walk around saying "I'm sad" "I'm depressed, what now" all the time, it would reduce my IQ. Sure I say those things too. But I also like to discuss stuff and discuss the world and different things.
You guys can do that right?

>>37593143
everyone knows girls like boring anon
they only want the ilussion of danger

>>37593193
I'm not a girl though.
I've already posted many times in this thread lmao

>>37593081
>at least star was was original

it was literally a samurai flick crossed with a wwii fighter drama

>>37593208
>I'm not a girl though
thats the problem

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>>37592978
where do you think we are
original comment

>>37593211

plus pulp sci fi literature.

lotr was far more original in its content

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This is fucking stupid. All the traits that these cunts are posting here are frowned upon when they're are actually in the real world. I dare you to be in public with your friends and me coming closer to ask you yo lie in bed while we listen to ambience music. Let's see how many of you vapid cunts raise an eyebrow.

>>37592314
I even have the curly hair.

>>37593228
I know.
We have have this problem.

>>37593280
i mean its the problem because i know nothing about gay ppl

>>37593081
>I think he's straight though

Well he sounds like a faggot.

>>37593271
Your post was too nigger-y for me to understand anon

>>37593271
its just fantasies anon

>>37593271
There are no girls in this thread though.

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Hello fellow fembots i am real and very female here is my ideal boyfriend and i hope you would also agree with me as this is objectively the ideal partner

>>37593290
Are you calling me gay?
Don't do that please. You're destroying my mental state.

Also, you can easily tell what guys are thinking. Girls can't be understood but guys can. That's why traps are so popular now.

>>37593059
>yet
Do people ever?

>>37593317
>Girls can't be understood
come on anon

>>37593301
Is that why there's so many fags pretending they're girls?

>>37593316
No one implied fembots
We're all faggots, dumbshit.

>>37593374
I like to crossdress and dildo my butt but I don't pretend I'm a girl, it's an aesthetic thing.

>>37593316
That's so retarded and unfunny that you might actually be female.

>>37593374
Hey some of us aren't gay enough to have gay sex but that doesn't mean we can't appreciate some companionship between males.

Could someone post the template? I can't find it for some reason...

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This was hard because at first I ended up making him too much of a pushover with all these question-like statements/him appeasing me. In reality, I wouldn't want my boyfriend to be like that all the time. I just want him to be nice but still take the lead.

>>37593332
You're a normie Chad if you can brain wash girls that have irrational behaviour.
Leave.

>>37593044
1a. Go to /fit/
1b. View the sticky, particularly Harsh's wiki.
2a. Calculate your TDEE using a TDEE calculator.
2b. Subtract 300-600 calories from that number. The goal is to eat safely near and under that number every day.
3. (Optional) Engage in /fit/ board threads and culture actively to place your mind in a conducive environment for change and progress.

You will lose weight. If you don't, you aren't counting correctly. You can have a terrible diet where you only eat cookies every day and still lose weight. The only thing that matters is calories in/out.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Good luck.

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>>37593430
>tfw you'll never be attractive enough to get a rail thin housewife

>>37593464
>If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
not that guy but where do i find a bf i can trust to neither fuck me over with gossip nor rape me

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>>37593316
works for me t. female

>>37593436
>brain wash girls
you are a drama queen
i just understand women, its not hard if you arent one of htose betas that defends miladys honor
girls have more sensitivity to pain, this isnt only phisical pain
they have really high egos that were built by their parents
they get pretty narsisistic once they hit puberty and see how everyone around treats them
they are insecure and they go a little crazy with age
they have a compulsion towards hoarding, most hoarders are women
most people with borderline personality are also women

>>37593430
>tfw typo in my own ideal bf meme pls kill me

>>37590890
You say that without mentioning your location, and it makes me wonder if you're ready for such a commitment.

Normies and roasties have invaded.
Abandon thread.

im not going to read through this but if any girls want an investment banker boyfriend who will take you on expensive dinners then fuck your brains out in a nice hotel room and leave promptly afterward (you can have the room for the night) dm me

Garbage thread, the OP should specify boys-only or it encourages females to shit up the place with their garbage.

Normalfag /soc/posting like this should be ban-worthy.

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>>37593482
I'm not an ideal person to ask, as I don't have any romantic experience myself. If you would like to discuss physical fitness (exercising, nutrition, basic stretching, or dieting), I would be happy to oblige.

This isn't your way of hitting on me, is it?

>>37593555
this is sad

>>37593556
this is spicy but also sad

>>37593558
no I just want to sleep next to someone who will neither slander nor rape me

>being a guy in these threads and realizing that some of these traits do apply to you and you could reasonably satisfy a few of these women

>realizes this is 4chan and if they're not male larpers that the distance would literally kill the relationship

Life can be suffering sometimes. Oh well, this is still cute to see this. Good luck, girls.

>>37593567

hey listen buddy i take what i can get

you dont fuck a girl a week without investing a lot of time and energy into it

im obsessed with sex its the only thing i do outside of work

>>37593609
Like I said, it's still sad. I think that you want a prostitute, not a girlfriend.

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>mfw I'll never have a Russian mob boss to protect me

>>37593558
I'm a skeleton without a gym. How do I get bigger without getting chubby.

>>37593081
Alestorm's new album is pretty alright. Certainly better than Sunset on the Golden Age, which was SHIT. I really dislike how much of a meme they've become, tho. I miss when they were super cereal about being pirates.

>>37593640

yeah, but i mean, i like non-prostitutes more. some girls like the thrill of getting aggro fucked by a coked up banker

>>37592418
You don't actually have a vagina, right?

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This robo could be my husbando and i would be content :'3

>>37593670
Yeah but anyone that would fuck you for the money and the hotel room IS a prostitute, even if they don't outwardly say it.

Is it gay to kiss a boy on his cheek, inhale his scent but not take things any further?

>>37593701

I would beg to differ. they don't NEED a nice restaurant or hotel room in the same way people need money

its enjoyable for them i would say, no strings attached

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>>37593575

Me too. I empathize with this feeling.

I can't tell you what to do, as I don't know myself. So, I suppose all I can do is wish you good luck--so, good luck, Anon.

>>37593647
Consume approximately 200-300 calories (better towards 300) above your TDEE. Be sure to eat approximately .8g of protein per lb bodyweight. Some say .8g of protein/lean bodymass, but I prefer .8g/bodyweight.

For example, if you you weighh 120lb, this would mean consuming 96g of protein daily. The closest you can get to that number, the better, but you should see results either way, so long as you keep eating appropriately.

Consider purchasing whey for filling in protein needs if your food does not satisfy your protein needs enough, or better, adjusting your diet to suit your needs. Salmon, eggs, and milk are all fantastic food options I highly recommend.

Research calisthenic exercises and routines, and apply them to your daily life. Consider visiting local playgrounds for assisted exercises, or purchasing basic inexpensive weights. You can also make your own cheaply with materials such as cement.

>>37593271
Context, man. Obviously I'd rather hear something sexual from an established boyfriend than a total fucking stranger. The assumption in ideal bf threads is that you're already dating them. Jesus.

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here's mine

i am a guy though, sorry

>>37593832
>lover's lager

aw, he's precious. i give this bf a thumbs up.

>>37593832
How are you guys going to have kids?

>>37593861
thanks anon

>>37593872
kids are quite low on my list of wants. if you're asking about the
>do you think it's time to tell them?
part, that's more in reference to him keeping our relationship secret, or downplaying us as roommates/friends to his parents

>>37593738
lmao okay buddy
have fun with your hookers

>tfw no girl has posted an ideal BF that just like you.

>>37590361
>tfw very bitter on the outside but sweet on the inside
>smug and also love math
Maybe there is a god, even though this was probably posted by a trap

>>37592852
I-I'll be your supervillain boyfriend!

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There's something about this board that really makes me believe there's a future where robots can actually lead fulfilling relationships.

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>>37590197

HERE i did my best
with this original bf

I am confused. Are we supposed to make ourselves within the template, or are other people making the people they want?

>>37594483
make what you want. Boys only

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i need to find a guy who's the right kind of abusive desu

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>>37593643
pretty gud dude
i like it

>>37593737
if you have to ask it probably is

>>37594551
>scars
SELF HARM LMAO
Why even

>>37594260
Offer accepted. Post contact.

>>37594578
I just wanna be affectionate with another male without being gay.

>>37593737
that's the absolute gayest

because it's really cute & sweet

>>37594601
[email protected]

>>37594619
are you female (male)? this is an original spoiler

>>37594703
Oh. No, sorry.

>>37594668
I'd like to live with a trap like that. Just be affectionate with each other and enjoy each others company without all the bullshit of anal and cock sucking. I don't know if we could sustain it though.

>into death games
>gf knows this
>tfw she likes death games too

>>37594723
how about female(female)? I'm just trying to make sure you aren't gaying me out

>>37594837
Female (female).
Try as it might,
the filter cannot stop me.

>>37594886
>>37594837
hey guys I like to spoiler too

>>37590197
This me but I don't lay these games anymore

>>37594886
location? Do you have kik, discord, or a throwaway email?

>>37594922
that's great man i'm legitimately happy for you thanks for helping me make my post original

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my standards are too high but this is p much ideal bf as long as he's not too clingy when we first meet

>>37594886
What's does Female (female) mean?

I want to make one of these of myself but I don't want people to hate me

>>37592147
>Double fps
>Double 3 player comp
Nigga what

>>37594975
>scars
Every time lmao

>>37595039
Do it. We don't hate you.

>>37595039
any girl in toronto that isn't obese?

>>37594975
Do you have a throwaway Snapchat? I can post mine

>>37595039
What's the harm?

>>37595023
Girls born with a vagina

>>37595197
Ah I see, same Snapchat question to you then: >>37595196

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>>37593081
>lord of the rings sucked

seeing how there might be a fair bit of female(female) here

How many of you lot are actually fat?

i keep having this same perception that all fembots are generally fat.

>>37594975

how is this high standards, seems like a basic nerd to me

>>37595255
Interested in this as well, not that I don't like big girls too

>>37595168
thanks for the (you)
>>37595196
i don't have a throwaway snapchat but i'll add yours..? i could also make one if you want
>>37595268
huh. maybe i'm wrong. sorry about that

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>tfw this doesn't exist on /r9k/

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>>37590197
>>>37594668
>I'd like to live with a trap like that.
I... I think I'm twink like that...
>Just be affectionate with each other and enjoy each others company without all the bullshit of anal and cock sucking.
;_; yeah I would like that
Pic related looks like long hair me. No camera cuz poorfag

>>37593271
>ambience music

>>37595312
I wish I could be this but I don't know piano and I'd never be cute enough.

>>37595312
no you fool, i'm exactly like that
now be more specific

>>37595298
Nah no need to make a burner Snapchat if you're willing to just add me: samfiddler600

>>37595361
you have to live in central leafland

>>37595320
Fuuuuuhuuck i meant this for >>37594806 :0

>>37594466
I'd disagree with the killing part

>>37595395
which part of central leafland!?

>>37595477
Yeah don't worry. I know you were talking to me.
It would be fun.
But it's just a fantasy of mine.

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>>37595565
the best part

>>37594957
Continental US
I am capable of using any method.

>>37594922
Welcome to our club!

>>37595650
great. [email protected]

>>37594466
Unironically me to a T but i'm not gay.

>>37595312
>Tfw I can't do slayer tasks for you and cook for you while wearing an apron you pick.
>Tfw can't surprise you with whip drops after dinner.
>Tfw I can't massage you down and learn you.
>Tfw I'll never be in leafland.

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How often do these threads get posted? I spent too long working on mine. I think most of the viewers will be gone, too.

>>37596150
Post it anyway, you've got nothing to lose, anon.

>>37591686
not a furry but i am mulatto
i look decent too
pls msg me babes B-)

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>>37594501
>>37596208
Okay. Here it is, then.

I created a version describing my physical qualities and hobbies beforehand too. I didn't pay attention to the layout, and I wrote the words by hand.

>>37592939
>I'm drunk again sorry
Anon, you're tearing our relationship to shreds and we haven't even started yet. It's over.

>>37596401
This is kind of cute, anon. You're too pure for this world.

>>37596401
aw i love this
originaliu

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>>37596432
>>37596477
Thank you. You're making me blush.

Here's that description image I mentioned earlier. Hopefully, it is legible. This is fairly similar to my real handwriting, but the pixelization obscured many of the letters which I tend to infantilize.

I have taken very good care of my skin and hair for many years, and I think it shows. I only wish I knew how to shave better. I used to get better shaves when I was younger.

>>37596401
Omg anon. Tell me you have discord, you're the cutest thing.

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>>37596706
I do.

Though, Discord is a gaming chat service. Do you happen to play Rainbow Six: Siege? Anything else?

>>37596799
Oh shit. I don't play any games, sorry about that. I'm a poser, aren't I haha

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>>37596808

>I'm a poser

You didn't say you played games, so you aren't a poser. There's no need to apologize. Really, many people use it for general conversation, just like with Steam.

My Discord ID is NC#0394. You should see a picture of a blushing eel (my favorite animal). Feel free to add me, so long as you aren't collecting friends. Maybe we have something of common interest to chat about.

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>>37590197
This is mostly me lmao
>>37590361
I also relate to this
>>37591052
>thanks for telling me you love me so much, I need it
same famalam

>>37590197
I just put my 48th trait in arms.
I play fury for PvE (52 traits)
Prot for the memes (45 traits)
I also have a resto druid.

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I wouldn't date me but what the hell may as well post me anyway

>>37597777
Snowboard kids was my shit

>>37591921
This is sorta me but more computer/dismal science than typical science.

>>37592852
Kinda a little bit sometimes me.

>>37593430
Sometimes me.

>>37593643
Me in 20 years in the timeline where things go really badly.

>>37594466
mostly me

>>37594975
sometimes me

>>37595312
sometimes me

I'm an eccentric and semi-reclusive millionaire who sits on my couch with my laptops all day, plays the markets, and is trying to get good enough at programming to make super awesome things that I've dreamt about for years.

I basically want a female version of myself who has complementary skills/interests. :)

>>37597777
You're too cool for me to hang with.

>>37597777
q u a d s
u a d s q
a d s q u
d s q u a
s q u a d

>>37592939
i'd date you, where are you from?

>>37599297
Why would you date a weed lmaow

>>37599327
i occasionally smoke some myself

*let's go get a gram of cocaine and an eighth of weed and kiss and watch law and order all night*

>>37594149
I'm a girl(female) and this was originally posted by another girl(female) (I think) so there's an audience out there for you smug little math nerds

>>37600327
You think wrong. Sorry but he belongs to me . He's my trap

>>37600383
I'm the one who posted the pic yesterday dummy, sorry to disappoint

>>37600403
Nice try same faggette

Why am I so angry at this thread

I've really lost all hope for myself

>>37600454
Are you awkward guy?

How the fuck did you bump this all night?

>>37600677
Cuz we ghey

>>37591052
D-Do you mind posting face?

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>>37594975
>tfw the only poster who pretty much posts me posts it at 7AM and is instantly taken by some normie with fucking >>37595196 SNAPCHAT

FUCK IT ALL

>>37594551
Sounds exactly like me a few years ago. You're making a mistake.

>>37592939
Not me at all
>don't smok
>hate shoegaze
>tall and attractive
>will hold hand in public
>sexy
>don't write short stories
>don't get drunk

I do want kids and a dog tho.

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>>37590197
me irl, incase any femanons would actually like me.

>no sodomites allowed

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yeah im a fag myself.

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>>37590197
This is me except that im just a little chubby, also I don't play arms :((

>>37593430
Abbie ffs

>>37594975
This is far too relatable.

I'm not really surprised that this isn't original

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>>37601765
>tfw ywn be a real girl

im so sorry anon i hope you find someone

Ive been lurking this thread to see if my online friend makes one of me but it isnt gonna happen

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mfw no (you)

>>37590197
Girls looking for this don't exist
at least not near me

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I'm always too late in those things

>>37593316
mind if I save this? it's dead on

>>37594975
>let's make fun of people to feel better about ourselves

You're a bad person

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Alright, boys.

line up

>>37601479
ah sorry. we're in different time zones.. if you have discord i'll add you there? you might not even see this haha sorry

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>tfw no music head of a boyfriend with beautiful soul.

I made my own template on MS Paint. It's bad.

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>Be black
>not even the psycho "femanon" or prisongay on r9k want you
You guys aren't true robots

>>37606000
I opened this thinking "oh music? Like she plays musical instruments or making music and loves studying it and learning about it?"

Instead I just find a basic bitch. Imagine that.

>>37606118
Fair enough man, but I do play instruments and make music.

>>37606000
Old video games and music? Good to know some girl out there likes the same thing I do.

You ever tried making 8-bit music yourself? I started getting into it a few weeks ago and it's a lot of fun, although a bit more tedious than playing a physical instrument.

>>37606213
I have absolutely no experience in 8-bit music. I mainly focus on Lo-fi tunes. I got a keyboard piano this year for my 21st so i've been playing around a lot with that and making some songs. Good fun.

>>37606289
That reminds me, I really ought to get a MIDI keyboard sometime, I can't plug my piano into my computer so I've been putting in notes on my QWERTY keyboard, bit of a pain in the ass.

How exactly do you do lo-fi rather than other music? Just compress the recording in audacity or something?

>>37592852
expirience being around someone who actually does make nerd themed lolsorandumb comments every couple of minutes and then tell me its what you actually want

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>>37606346
You know, I sometimes don't even use my MDI, it sounds dumb but I have made music simply recording the music through my highish quality microphone and people have said they really enjoy the eerier quality it gives off. But like you said without it can still be a pain in the butt! That's exactly what I do, I just re-run the muisc through software and mess with the quality effects until i'm satisfied with the sound it gives off. It's pretty rewarding i'd say.

>>37606474
I never really got the deal with lo-fi, I've always wanted sound to be as crisp and clean as possible. Guess that's why I like chiptune, soundwaves are perfect. Sometimes I just watch them bounce around in audacity. Other music looks like a cluttered, jittery mess, but the soundwaves in chiptune music are simply beautiful to me.

>>37606571
Ah I see, see with me i'm all about that eerie quality of music that almost sounds like music is playing in another room. It gives me extreme feelings of bliss and comfort for some reason. I could lay there and listen to lo-fi for the rest of my life. But hey, if i'm doing something like working out or playing a game i'll gladly listen to upbeat crisp tunes to help the motivation climb.

>>37601427
Yeah I do mind. My job can be sabotaged by faggots so I can't post face, sorry.

Are you a female (male) or a female (girl)?

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>>37606000
>most PC gaming sucks

Absolutely disgusting.

>>37594442
>posting me
ouch

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Need someone who's a huge gamer and who can watch Western and Japanese cartoons with me; or listen to some chiptune, future funk, rock, rap, indie pop, digital music and a plethora of other genres and sub-genres lol. Also, is totally cool to cuddle and talk about the little things and doesn't mind me trying to be cute.

>>37591921
That's me. I don't like Chinese food, but everything else is pretty accurate.

>>37606898
But are you a boy or a girl?

sfghsdfg

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Not my best work. Robots are welcome to apply unless you're fat or a misogynist/racist/homphobe

>>37606959
none other then....
boi

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I can only have qt aspie bf in my dreams

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>>37590197
I'm not going to make an image but I'd really like a bf who we had lots of stuff to talk about. Like someone actually creative. Or at least as creative as me. I'm literally constantly coming up with story ideas. They are 100% of the time some mix of fantasy/sci-fi/psychedelic/sometimes horror with outsiders as in aliens/monsters/mutants. I really like psychology and philosophy but being about to discuss these things without creativity is boring. Also I'd love if he drew so we could draw together and create our ideas more specifically. Drawing as in with pencil, paint, and digital. Also a guy who loved animation of all kinds and knew all my fav painters and animators. Giger, Beksinski, Felix Colgrave, Jhonen Vasquez are the top ones.

Also he has to be actually nice not just says hes nice because he's got superficial to offer. I can't fall in love with someone angry, racist, sexist, ablest, or homophobic. Or who's conservative or right winged. Anyone who unironically uses the words 'alpha/beta' or believes in red pill stuff on any level is NOT for me.

Has to also be sexually submissive. Not hardcore sub btw, only light sub. Someone who wants me to take over all flirting, sexual, or romantic situations because he doesn't know what to do. The most hardcore I go is liking giving footjobs and liking the feeling of peeing (I squirt so I think that's where the fetish comes from), my biggest kink is for a guy who's shy and nervous. Scat, vomit, gore, or pain of any kind (on me or him) turns me OFF.

Also plus if he's into anime, video games, nerdy stuff, and is chubby with glasses.

>>37606898
Where are you from, funky fresh qt?

>>37607071
But do you want other bois

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>>37590197
>tfw this person doesn't exist and even if they did they wouldn't go to my uni

>>37607098
I'm all of this except I'm conservative.

Dealwithit.jpg

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>>37607100
East Coast
>>37607121
No :c...
and traps are gay

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>>37607205
Then you arent all of it you dumb fuck. There's actually no way you enjoy creativity or free thought while being conservative. Also there's literally no way you are good at art either. To top it all off I seriously seriously doubt you know the artists I listed either.

>>37607235
the originally tolerant left everyone

>>37607232
>East coast
>Not wanting a platonic snuggle friend.
gg no re.

>>37607127
I relate to some of this?
idk, I dont try to be forceful though

>>37607235
>I'm all of this EXCEPT I'm conservative

you are the dumbest fuck alive, that is what the word EXCEPT is used for

jesus, liberals everyone

>>37590197
More or less me. Idk howvto feel about this

>>37606403
Who said anything about every few minutes, or that these are random? Obviously there would be context, but it isn't conveyed in this quick image style. And he's still perfect, so.

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>>37607261
Guy I guess then?
Girls who like what we like don't exist.

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>>37607232
>wants to be cute
>uses boi rather than male
>says traps are gay

>>37607273
I get it but there's no way someone enjoys things created by liberals with liberal messages who isn't a liberal.

Conservatives hate creativity. Trust me I was raised by hardcore ones.

>>37605272
holy shit this is literally me expect for the 'math is easy' part

>>37607328
This is an incredibly close-minded attitude because you have anecdotal evidence from shitty parents.

I have enjoyed tons of "liberal" things with "liberal" messages. It's called being a freethinking adult. That's why when I try to date people I don't go NO LIBRULS ALLOWED I KNOW SOME AND THEY'RE AWFUL

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Updated. Added some more things.

>>37607098
>essentially all of this
I'm kinda on the lighter side of chubby but...

>>37607328
Actually this is an incredibly parochial and time-bound view...for someone so *smart* and *open-minded*.

The association between artistic creativity and left politics is of incredibly recent vintage and is mostly related to the artist-as-savior concept that arose in Western culture as Nietzsche became popularized and garbled.

>>37607362
Yea sorry but I'll still never fall in love with a racist, sexist, or homophobe, and tons of other things that are on the right side. Don't care how open minded that you SAY you are because anyone who stands behind all those ideals is actually the total opposite of open-minded.

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>>37590197
>tfw thinking about all the repulsive robots who go through this thread looking for an image that fits their description

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>>37607417
all the good buzzwords

>>37607417
Excuse me for butting in but I just want to point out that by refusing to love someone because they are racist/sexist/etc is incredibly close minded of you. There are two sides to every issue. Racism is a survival technique, you don't know what other people have been through. Regardless, an outlook is something that can change, he probably wasn't racist when he was a child, and who's to say if he'll be racist in his older years.

>>37607308
Yes, I'm a male.

>Girls who like what we like don't exist.

I'm sure we can both imagine why. It's a shame that acquiring something like this is rather unrealistic.

I suppose I will have to resign to a pillow between my legs and arms at night. I do wish you the best of luck in your endeavor(s), though.

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>>37607263
sorry anon, I'm not really looking for a relationship now because I'm going through a lot of emotional stress and I'm doing some pretty dramatic things, but thanks anyway.

I'll advertise for real though when I'm ready.

>>37607523
Harsh, I know that emotional stress :c. lmk if you want to chat on Discord or something though, I don't mind chatting or listening to issues/venting.

>>37607478
Awwwww I'll talk with you though anon :c

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>>37607320
Actually I prefer "mail"
you don't have to be gay to act cute

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>>37607691
That sounds nice.

Do you like to play any games? Perhaps Rainbow 6 Siege on PC?

>>37607417
>you're on the right
>you must be racist, sexist, or homophobic

kill yourself

you're the one who's not open minded at all.

>>37607881
No I don't :c Don't have it. tired it on xbox and it's pretty neat, but meh.
I do play LoL, and CS:GO I play sometimes, but I'm trash the last time I played. If I had Overwatch on PC I'd be a god at that lol

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>>37594442
That's me if you replace "a little bit about everything" with "a lot about everything"
and then also throw in some narcissism

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>>37608781
I think you mean:
"and throw in some autism"

>>37608853
That's exactly right.

And such an original response.

>>37608914
You know what buddy, it would've been less original if it could've been, just to get the point across in an "edgier" way.

>it's okay I'm autistic too

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>>37590197
fuck off fag
sgasjkdghsdhgjklashgkl

>>37607127
Me sans math skills

>>37590361
>tfw my best friend is like this minus jazz
There are plenty boyos out there like this though. I'm like this minus the smug and musically inclined. You'll find him pretty easily if you look.

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dsjkflsdjfldsfmasf

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>>37608668
>Pass out for a couple of hours
>Notice a got a reply.
>Siege ranked lowest, below even LoL and CSGO, and topped with Overwatch on console.

You injure me, but it's okay. I forgive you of your trespasses.

Payday 2 is up for free on Steam, by the way. Mentioning in case you, or anyone else reading this wasn't aware, and are interested in it.

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jsjssjjssbsbbbxbxbxnznsnama

Is this shit actually what the socially awkward shut in bitches think they want in a boyfriend?

>>37610706
I mean, I hate Overwatch and Blizzard (got for free, am good at it though), and I haven't played LoL in a bit. Siege is better then CS:GO but fuck Ubisoft and their microtransactions (fuck Blizzard too).

I just downloaded payday 2, thanks for the heads up. Might check out that Warhammer 40k Eternal Crusade game, absolutely loved Space Marine and it's multiplayer.

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>>37610923
No lmao, there aren't any women here.

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a guy with hair like this but masculine facial features. they don't exist in real life!!!
except my /r9k/ex ;_;

>>37610950
Oh, I never redeemed my copy of EC. If you do decide to pick it up, we can play together. Maybe Payday 2 as well.

>>37610870
I have a hard time thinking this isnt a selfie

>>37610986
We do exist... You just haven't found any of us yet

>>37611112
I have a hard time believing guys similar to that even exist

>>37611037
what's your steam?
I'm @MemesinmyDreams

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>>37611243
I'm NoCoin. If you look it up, you should see a picture of Charlie Kelly/Day in a Nazi uniform eating a banana.

>>37611227
I come close.
Dont like Darkthrone tho and I enjoy all kinds of music not only metal.
Long hair with a beard.
Dont care about religions, but traditions.

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was hard to think of really specific things

>>37611227
people like that don't exist because that kind of mentality is retarded and most people aren't walking, living, breathing /pol/ memes

the kind of dude who thinks and says those things isn't the kind of dude who is able to afford to keep a housewife barefoot and pregnant, he's more likely than not an impressionable 20-something loser who will never amount to anything beyond low wage blue collar work and living with his parents

>>37607353
Haha yet it's exactly my boyfriend

>>37595255
The 20+ hours of silence in this thread is all the answers I need.

>>37602113

You sound mad cute I hope you get a really ace bf.

>>37611435
all these non-arguments

>>37612143
its way harder for a guy to get fat and shows they have high estrogen but still girls are more attracted to them than guys are to fat chicks

you can have a face like a jim henson creation and if your body is tight you wont have problems. the opposite goes for men, what do you want to hear?

>>37599297
Northern Virginia
originalaol

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asdfasdf

perfection

>Tfw no traditional military bf

>>37602113
Is this your or your dream bf?

>>37607085
Basically me.
qwerty

>Fit absolutely none of the charts
>Closest to the nazi
But I'm a spic kek