>be me two hours ago
>27
>rummaging through stack of books I took from the attic when I moved to an apartment a year ago but never unpacked because I'm bored and the anime torrent's still downloading
>find high school yearbook
>decide to look up everyone, see how they're doing
>best friend
>works at a college as a professor in writing
>2nd best
>manages IT at BOSE Corp. headquarters
>the girl I had a crush on
>has a gorgeous family in Alaska, her husband is some park ranger
>the girl I used to work with in theater class
>is in off-broadway performances in New York
>the class clown
>runs his own entrepreneurship
>the guy who bullied me constantly
>vice-president of a company
>his friend
>a catholic priest
>all of them skinnier, more chiseled, happy and active on social media
>look at my picture in the book
>as wide-eyed as the rest of them
>look at the mirror
>200 pounds fatter, working a dead-end job on night shifts
I'm the fuckup. I'm the one whose life fell apart. I'm the one who never sorted things out and never took the oppurtunities I should have. I'm the one who was a big fat loser. And I'm about to watch a yuribait show about dragon maids. Which is doubly serendipitious since my nickname in high school was Trogdor
>I literally burned everything to the fucking ground and am left with a cave of hoarded nonsense
Fucks sake, I know we meme about feeling dead inside, but this is legit real darkness hours. I am a complete failure in the game of life, especially in regards to my former friends and peers. I am a fucking void of a person. My biggest contribution to humanity is a /co/ and /fit/ meme image.
Bose is trash so don't be too jealous off that guy.
>>37568955
dude your post hit me hard. I kinda fear this I am 22.
Can I ask you something though? Even though I am sure this makes you sad, you 27.
You are not a child or a teen but you are young and if you really wanted you could tun yourself around.
>>37568990
The nigga makes 11 times more than me and has a family. BOSE product quality isn't the issue here.
>>37569039
I remember feeling like that when I was your age. I thought I can turn this college deal around and get out with a B average if I try hard.
I left with a 2.2 GPA. My degree is already a PoliSci nothing, and I couldn't even use it in my resume beyond a passing note. I spent two years working a job packing boxes of candy for 10/hour to people, just to get customer service cred to get the basic bitch job I have now.
>had 10th hs anniversary a few years ago
>didn't even get invited because the 'vites were sent via facebook
>wouldn't have gone anyway since 90% of people in my class joined the army straight out of HS while i stuck around being a janitor
>am now an unemployable fucktard that jerks it to jap porn and takes care of his mom
Was 3 years ago, am still saving up to buy a gun. (almost there.)
You can't be born again, but you can change.
Only you can free yourself. Tonight all this can change. I pray for you.
most of the people i knew in high school are low/middle class failures like me
and i went to a 'good school'
were your friends nerds back then?
>>37569087
>The nigga
No wonder you're a failure.
>green text about how bullies are successful and I'm the degenerate failure
Yadda yadda kill me.
>>37569315
We can buy the gun together if you want. Split in for ammo too. You do yourself, then i'll do myself.
>>37569283
Fine, the fucker, the guy, the whatever!
Fuck's sake, this site taught me to use that word. I was scared to even type the thing when I first came here... 11 years ago.
What's the meme though?
>>37568955
But are they really happy? Sure their lives may look perfect on social media because that's all they want people to see. That seemingly perfect family photo of the seemingly perfect wife and kids does not reflect on the hardships they might be hiding from even each other.
Chad and Stacy from my highschool have lots of "happy" photos on social media and both look stunning. Little do people know that their 4 year old child passed away and never made it into the photo.
Yeah I did this one night drunk and on facebook, felt like shit. But I'm not going to compare myself to other people, they didn't live my life. Maybe they had it easier, maybe they had it even worse. That's all on them, who knows maybe they're suffering on the inside.
>>37568955
>pre-k through beginning of 7th grade
>teachers and parents think I am some sort of genius
>ace state test scores
>perfect As
>lots of extracurriculars including sports
>beginning of puberty girls actually liked me
>move halfway through 7th grade
>to super conservative state where majority of population belongs to a major religion in the southwest
>not particularly active in church since like 2nd grade, was raised as part of said religion until then
>didn't even identify as one of them after middle school started
>okay at first, then some kids find out I was part of said religion (keep in mind 80% of the school belongs to this faith)
>find out I CHOSE to not be one
>shunned 1000% of the time by everyone who is not my immediate family for 8 straight months because of this
>after 8 months some other outsides try to be my friends, after about 2 months of this they stop as we are completely incompatible
>lose will to live and unable to do school
>preoccupied with suicide from the age of 13 until right before I turn 17
>make some good friends in high school eventually
>almost immediately after this we move again to an ultraliberal state
>my lack of drive for education (due to the social rejection is what gets me ostracized this time)
>drop out, finish at some shitty online school
>no friends
>try college, lack of motivation makes me drop out again
>working some dead end job as an exterminator as it is the best paying thing I qualify for
>can barely afford to live so adding education/training for a better job is all but impossible
>no friends
>no money
>hate parents due to their constant moving making me like this, so no family
To think I had all the right tools to become a normie and not suffer endlessly day in and day out. And it was all snatched away from me by the time I was barely a teenager.
>>37569544
My parents had the perfect marriage, my dad was super successful and made a lot of money, we looked like the perfect family on the outside. If you only knew what it was like. My dad was miserable from his job and drank a lot, screamed and yelled at my mom, the weekends were like a warzone in my house.
>>37569587
wonderful how religious people made you suicidal just cause you didnt believe. religion is fucking great.
>>37568955
27 isn't even old. It's not too late to change.
>>37569039
>tfw 28 and have never worked
His post is mild as hell. He let everyone walk on him, that's why his life sucks. And he's a lazy faggot that 'steals' animu and such. Underachievers didn't have to work hard, so why feel sorry for them? I wasn't even wide eyed in HS.
>>37569632
No but he's gonna be well into his 30's before his shit gets together and that is if he starts TODAY. I learned the hard way that if by 25 you're not going forward into your career, you're in deep shit.
>>37568955
>just 27
It's not too late to turn everything around.
Make an endgame.
>>37569544
Yeah I guess they're only factually successful in their public life. So they've only got their outward lives in order, where as I don't, AND am a miserable individual.And hell, maybe they actually are as happy as they say they are. Maybe the assumed misfortune of others on an internal aspect is only comforting to those who have an internally healthy aspect of the world. Maybe they're not fake, and maybe they do have their world together.
All the subjective assumptions in the world don't change a damn thing. And the added idea that all those people might be suffering alongside me doesn't change the fact that their lives, in one very public aspect that I'm not, are in order. I know that was a harsh retort to attempt to cheer me up, but phantom schadenfreude isn't a comfort. It's a crutch. I am miserable and I can't drag the world down to my misery to feel better. Because it makes my situation all the more pathetic.
>>37569587
Circumstance of things you can't control is merely a hand dealt. I had a father who beat me with textbooks for showing him a South Park episode he didn't like, and a mother who was an alcoholic henpecking dumpster-fire, but out of hating them with every ounce of my being, and counting the days until I'm totally financially independent of them and can cut them out forever, I can't blame them for the mistakes I've made all on my own.
>>37569631
Well most religious people were actually quite nice to me, my first actual friend in that state was actually a Catholic who decided to be my friend because of his beliefs. Mormons (my former brethren) are the scum of the earth and the greatest mistake in American history was the US government not persecuting them enough, they only care for themselves and outsides who are thinking of becoming one of them.
>>37568955
>a /co/ and /fit/ meme image
post it senpai
*serendipitous
learn to spell fucktard
>>37569218
A gun for suicide? You can get a rifle for 200.
>>37568955
Just wanted to give you some hope, even though this is a hopeless place...
>be 30
>parents decide to move 10+ hours away from where I grew up
>I'd be the last person in entire family up north
>decide to move with them
>move in with parents at age of 30
>look for competitive pay at my decent job up north
>nope.jpg
>$8.05 an hour
>all of my co-workers are chads and stacies
>most of them under the age of 18
>last a solid 3 months
>ragequit, even though it was the end of the season
>look for new job
>hey waiting tables is easy
>get job at ihop
>fucking. ihop.
>FUCKING. IHOP.
>work there for 3 months
>overnight lady quit
>hey anon, you have no family or frens - can you work the overnight shift for us?
>sure... why the hell not, not like kids or friends will get in the way
>work this for 10 months
>use it to network, meet everyone in this disgusting po'dunk town
>keep asking people about job opportunities
>met a banquet waiter at a huge golf resort here
>tells me to apply
>apply
>no answer
>apply
>no answer
>>37569801
I suppose you are right, but at the same time: my mother grew up there and KNEW what it was like to be one of the kids like (her school had a total of 15 of them in her class, 3 made it to graduation. All 12 from suicide due to social issues) and still chose to move us there.
>>37570090
2/2
>apply for different jobs at the resort
>no answer.
>They advertise for a job fair
>I see it a month prior to it happening
>Still a bit angry that they didn't even tell me they weren't interested
>I keep working the overnight shift at ihop and begin hating my life
>Swallow my pride and go into the job fair
>expecting to work at ihop for the rest of my life, so what is there to lose.
>Bunch of regular losers applying
>Go through application
>Do first interview
>She likes me experience and disliked that I couldn't find work in my field
>She interviews me for a supervisory position
>SHe liked how I did
>given a 2nd interview on the spot
>he liked how I did
>3rd interview, right there.
>Hired that day
>Asked if I could come in at 6:00 am the next morning
>stumble a bit, because I would be working 10pm - 6am - AT FUCKING IHOP...
>tell them its no problem at all
>tell ihop I have an opportunity that I cannot miss
>they hem and haw
>try to keep my paycheck
>I explain to them how that is illegal
>they relent
>they post on their facebook about what a terrible employee I am
>I do not care, I am working almost literally on the beach
>Been working at this job for a month now
>Waiting for it to finally settle in...
I now make a salary, get paid time off, in 2 months will have health care, christmas bonuses... all of that.
So while it may seem like bragging anon, just hold out hope. At least there is no place to go than up from rock bottom.
>>37570109
do you have a degree? original weuifiopsdjiogsnhdiog
>>37570109
wow dude great post, i'm happy for you
i cannot begin to imagine the despair of working as a night shift waiter at ihop at 30, jesus christ. don't blow this, hope it works out for you.
>>37570244
An associates in Criminology, young me wanted to be a cop - older men began to not trust law enforcement
>>37570251
and thanks bro... even ihop wasn't my lowest low...
>span of 6 month unemployment
>could no longer afford medication
>time to panhandle
>too much pride
>always see mexicans stand outside of 711 and somehow get picked up to work
>dress for a brisk morning
>stand outside with the mexicans
>they keep asking me things in spanish
>I am obviously white
>truck pulls up with white construction guy
>sees me looking at him
>asks me if I'm here picking up workers
>swallow my pride again and just say I need work
>He offered me a position, I think out of pity.
So now every time I have a shit day, I think back to that feeling.
>Ugly kid who was bullied in school is now a model living in australia
>tfw he was the bullied kid who became successful and turned his life around and is laughing at the bullies now and not me.
>>37571254
Damn.
Being a mexican must be horrible.
>>37568955
Hey man it's all good, the dragon maid show is fun. We're way worse off than we expected to be but life is pointless and everyone dies anyway so you might aswell just try to enjoy the present
>>37569882
They're not really nice people. They are afraid of going to hell for being mean, especially catholics, for wrath being a sin. If they get mad at you they might go flog themselves later.
>>37569801
South park is fucking retarded though. And he probably only did that once, even though you try to imply he le used to beat with text books. Once, you showed him the most retarded shit show ever made, and he once beat you over it. If more than once you're a retard for not keeping it to yourself after realising he wasn't into it. I mean really, what else got you beat?
>bitching about alcoholism
Maybe you're just a faggot?
>straight A student in high school
>never touched drugs or alcohol
>did my best to be a good kid
>6 years later
>addicted to cocaine, alcohol, weed, and LSD
>constantly fucked up
>30 pounds fatter
>failed out of school twice
>take meds just to stay sane
>work dead end desk job